3.01 - Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days
OPEN IN LORELAI'S BEDROOM
[Lorelai is asleep in bed when her alarm goes off. She shuts it off, and a second later, several others start going off around her bedroom.]
LORELAI: You are hilarious!
[She gets up and walks down to the kitchen, where Luke is at the stove making breakfast]
LORELAI: Okay, see, last night, when I said to you, Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven,' what I actually meant was, Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up at seven in case when seven comes, I actually wanna get up,' which  as it happened  I didn't. Therefore, you're currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.
[She pulls a container of coffee out of the freezer]
LUKE: No survivors?
LORELAI: The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation. [smells the coffee] This is decaf.
LUKE: What are you talking about?
LORELAI: You switched my coffee again.
[Lorelai searches the kitchen for the regular coffee]
LUKE: I'm a busy man. I don't have time to sneak around switching your coffee. I have a diner to run, I have shipments to order, I have things to flip and fry. Will you stop that?
[Lorelai finds the bag of regular coffee under the sink]
LORELAI: Ha, haha, hahaha! Under the sink, very clever, but not clever enough bucko.
LUKE: Okay, fine, you know what? I give up.
LORELAI: Woo hoo!
LUKE: Go one day without coffee.
LORELAI: That's not giving up.
LUKE: I'll put a toy in your cereal.
LORELAI: Dirty!
LUKE: [hands her a plate of food] Fine, here, you win.
LORELAI: Thank you.
LUKE: You're welcome. Now you're up, you're fed, I'm leaving.
LORELAI: Oh, hey, we need q-tips.
LUKE: I'll alert the media.
LORELAI: See, that's better with the accent.
LUKE: The reference is enough, you'll learn that one day. I'll be home early, anything besides the q-tips?
LORELAI: Um, cotton balls, world peace, Connie Chung's original face back.
[Luke kisses her]
LUKE: Goodbye crazy lady. [to Lorelai's stomach] Goodbye Sid and Nancy.
LORELAI: Leopold and Loeb.
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: I changed my mind, don't tell Rory.
LUKE: Decaf.
LORELAI: Never.
LUKE: They'll both have two heads.
LORELAI: More to love.
[They kiss again and Luke walks out the back door]
CUT TO LORELAI'S BEDROOM
[In the middle of the night, Lorelai wakes up suddenly from her dream. She falls out of the bed reaching for the phone]
LORELAI: Whoa! Ugh!
[She calls Rory at her dorm in Washington]
RORY: Hello?
LORELAI: You have to come home.
RORY: Mom?
LORELAI: You're gone and the house is quiet and Bill Maher's canceled. The name of the show was Politically Incorrect for God's sake. Didn't anybody read the title? He was supposed to say those things, dammit!
RORY: You had another dream.
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: The doctor is in.
LORELAI: Okay, I'm lying in bed and I'm sleeping and I'm wearing this fabulous nightgown, and like thirty alarm clocks go off, and so I get out of bed and I walk downstairs, and there, standing is the kitchen, is Luke!
RORY: Was he naked?
LORELAI: No! He was making breakfast.
RORY: Naked?
LORELAI: Okay, you've been in Washington way too long.
RORY: Sorry. Go ahead, he was making breakfast. . .
LORELAI: Eggs and pancakes and bacon, and he put decaf coffee in my regular coffee bag, which of course I knew immediately.
RORY: Hi, the nose.
LORELAI: Exactly. So eventually I find the real stuff under the sink. He hands me my breakfast, and then . . .
RORY: What?
LORELAI: He kissed me and talked to my stomach!
RORY: Why would he do that?
LORELAI: Because apparently I'm pregnant!
RORY: What?
LORELAI: With twins! [pause] Say something.
RORY: You are going to be so fat.
LORELAI: Just analyze my dream, please.
RORY: Okay. Well, your dream was telling you that you are secretly in love with Luke and you wanna marry him and have his twins.
LORELAI: Uh, no, try again.
RORY: What do you mean, try again? You asked me to analyze your dream, I analyzed your dream.
LORELAI: Yes, well, I reject that analysis, so I'd like another one, please.
RORY: You can't just reject an analysis and try again. You're not shopping for bathing suits here.
LORELAI: Give me another analysis or I'll put your Taylor hula-hooping dream into a whole other context.
RORY: I told you, Taylor was supposed to be Dean. I could tell by his freakishly thick head of hair.
LORELAI: I'm waiting.
RORY: Okay, maybe you're still upset about what happened with Dad and you're jealous of Sherry because she's having his baby and not you. Mom?
LORELAI: I miss you.
RORY: I miss you, too.
PARIS: [sleeptalking in background] Woodward. . .Bernstein. . .Harry Thomason.
LORELAI: Is that Paris?
RORY: Yeah, she talks in her sleep. . . long in-depth arguments. I'm so glad I only have one more day here.
LORELAI: Me, too. What do you have on your agenda for tomorrow? Or, today, actually.
RORY: We have a breakfast mixer with members of Congress and the Senate.
LORELAI: Cool. See if you can steal me something off of Tom Daschle's fruit plate.
RORY: I'll see what I can do.
LORELAI: See you Friday, doc.
RORY: See you Friday.
[Rory walks to her desk and sits down, where she tries to work on a letter to Jess]
PARIS: [sleeptalking] I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
[opening credits]
CUT TO SOOKIE AND JACKSON'S HOUSE
[Lorelai and Sookie are sitting at the kitchen table]
LORELAI: No way.
SOOKIE: I swear.
LORELAI: Huh, Kosher bacon.
SOOKIE: Beef not pork.
LORELAI: I am so Jewish.
JACKSON: [from other room] Hey Sookie, where's my
SOOKIE: Jackson, hold on! Lorelai's here!
LORELAI: [covers eyes] Oh, Jackson, I'm in the kitchen! I'm eating bacon, so don't . . aye - eh - da - ahhh!
JACKSON: [walks into kitchen] Will you stop it? I'm dressed.
LORELAI: Uh, well, how do I know you weren't showering and the hot water went out and you rushed down here with nothing but a teeny tiny towel in front of ya.
JACKSON: Once, that happened once.
LORELAI: Well, once was enough.
SOOKIE: Oh, hey, honey, I got those paint chips that we were talking about. Do you wanna look at them now?
JACKSON: Nope.
SOOKIE: But it'll only take a minute and I actually went though and picked out a couple of colors for you.
LORELAI: What are you painting?
JACKSON: Nothing.
SOOKIE: The house.
LORELAI: The whole house?
JACKSON: No.
SOOKIE: Just the inside.
LORELAI: Ah, that's a pretty big undertaking.
JACKSON: It's not such a big undertaking since we're not undertaking it.
SOOKIE: I know, but it'll be fun.
LORELAI: Rory and I'll help if you want.
JACKSON: Okay, if you're gonna come over here everyday, you have to actually hear both of us.
LORELAI: Oh. Well, tell me why you're not painting just the inside of the house?
SOOKIE: Because it was my house and now it's our house and I want it to feel like our house.
JACKSON: I'm totally happy with the way this house feels.
SOOKIE: How can you be? There's flowers everywhere.
JACKSON: I like flowers  I'm a produce guy.
SOOKIE: The curtains are ruffly.
JACKSON: I like ruffles.
SOOKIE: How can you like ruffles?
JACKSON: Because I'm very, very gay.
SOOKIE: Jackson!
JACKSON: Judy, Vincent has to go to work now. Goodbye Lorelai. Tell her I'm fine, I like things just the way they are.
LORELAI: I'll try.
[Jackson leaves]
LORELAI: All right, I've only got a minute and then I have to leave. Is there any more bacon?
SOOKIE: Have mine. What do you think about mahogany for the living room and then midnight blue for the hallway and the bedroom?
LORELAI: Sookie, Jackson just said he's fine with how everything is. I don't think it's bugging him.
SOOKIE: Well, he may not think so now but it'll bug him eventually and then he'll resent this place and me by extension and I would like to avoid that. And I can  I just need to butch the place up a little. Now, help me pick a color.
LORELAI: Okay, I can't now, but I'll do it later.
SOOKIE: Okay.
LORELAI: Thanks for breakfast, it was amazing, I love you, I love the bacon. Oh, hey, bacon's manly. Why don't you just nail a bunch of packages of Kosher bacon on the walls, huh? Smells like meat blessed by a rabbi  now that's a manly house.
SOOKIE: Buh-bye.
LORELAI: Okay, but if you're still thinking paint, you're still thinking like a chick.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[The town square is being set up for a festival. Lorelai walks toward Taylor, who is in an electric wheelchair giving orders to people.]
TAYLOR: Watch those streamers! And not too much red near that tree  light touch, light touch, light touch.
LORELAI: Hey Taylor, how's the leg?
TAYLOR: It's just fine.
LORELAI: Still haven't found out who put that banana peel on your doorstep, huh?
TAYLOR: No, but I have a list of suspects.
LORELAI: Hey, um, what's all this for?
TAYLOR: This, young lady, is for the first annual Stars Hollow End of Summer Madness Festival.
LORELAI: You finally found a way to fill September, didn't ya?
TAYLOR: This is gonna be a very exciting day. I'm really gonna go all out for this. I even think you'll be impressed.
LORELAI: Really, even me?
TAYLOR: Yes-sir-ee, mini-me, I did not put the word madness in the title for nothing. This place is gonna be crazy, wild  food, games, we've even got a band coming all the way from New York!
LORELAI: New York  that's just nuts!
TAYLOR: And wait til you see the banner I ordered. It's gonna make every other banner we've ever had look downright embarrassing.
LORELAI: Taylor, you're on fire.
TAYLOR: Oh, I love this banner!
LORELAI: I can't wait to see it.
TAYLOR: Well, come on Friday. [to girl walking by] Uh, excuse me, uh, young lady. . .young lady? You know I'm talking to you. The blonde woman with the ribbons, please slow down. I'm in a wheelchair, young lady, I can't run after you.
[As Taylor follows the girl off camera, Lorelai stares into Luke's Diner then sadly walks away]
CUT TO WASHINGTON
[At the Junior Leadership breakfast, Paris is talking with Senator Barbara Boxer]
PARIS: I mean, come on, Senator Boxer, as one of our foremost Democratic leaders, I ask you  do you really think it looks good to have the American Secretary of the Treasury traveling around with Bono? I mean, I know apparently he's a saint, he's going to save the world, yada, yada, yada, but my God! He never even takes the sunglasses off. We have an image to maintain, don't we? I mean, aren't we at least trying to pretend we're the superpower in this world? I mean, why not just send Carson Daly over to the Middle East next time Cheney goes, huh? Or hey, hook up Freddie Prinze Jr. with Colin Powell next time he meets with NATO. I mean, hell! Let's hear what Freddie has to say, right?
[A man walks by and the Senator grabs his arm]
SENATOR BOXER: Oh, great, Doug. Uh, Paris, do you know Republican Congressman Doug Ose from California? You don't? Great. You two will have so much to talk about. Bye. [walks away]
CONGRESSMAN OSE: Uh, Barbara
PARIS: Ose, right?
CONGRESSMAN OSE: Yes that's right.
PARIS: Let's take a walk.
[cut to Rory at one of the food tables. As she gets herself some coffee, a boy walks up to her]
JAMIE: Last day here.
RORY: Yup.
JAMIE: So, in your opinion, how was our nation's capital?
RORY: Well, I got to see Archie Bunker's chair at the Smithsonian Museum, so it was a big thumbs up for me.
JAMIE: Yes, there are times when this country's priorities are exactly right. So, where's Paris?
RORY: Hm, not quite sure. Last time I saw her, she was beating the will to live out of our nation's representatives.
JAMIE: She is a hammer, isn't she?
RORY: Actually, she's the entire toolbox.
[Paris walks up to them]
PARIS: Damn. I always seem to catch the most interesting politicians right when they have to use the bathroom. Hey Jamie.
[Paris walks over to another table and Jamie follows her]
JAMIE: Paris. Just came over to let you know I got a little sneak peak at the final debate pairings for today. It seems like you and I are going to be on the same side this time.
PARIS: You're kidding? You'd think they'd like to give someone else a fighting chance for once.
JAMIE: Apparently not.
PARIS: God, I love this. You don't realize how unqualified most of America's youth is until you gather them all up in a room and make them speak. So, who are we up against?
JAMIE: Jason Roundsevault and Ty Fredericks.
PARIS: Perfect. Jason's got asthma and Ty cries.
JAMIE: Okay, so we should meet early and go over strategy, make sure you bought enough Kleenex.
PARIS: Good, good.
JAMIE: And then tonight we should get together and celebrate over dinner.
PARIS: What if we don't win?
JAMIE: Don't lose it on me now.
PARIS: You're right.
JAMIE: So, dinner?
PARIS: Sure.
JAMIE: Good, I'll swing around for you about seven.
PARIS: Fine.
JAMIE: Okay, see you at the slaughter.
[Jamie walks away and Rory walks over to Paris]
RORY: Wow!
PARIS: Yeah, can you imagine pairing me with Jamie? I mean, why not just line the hallways with self esteem counselors right now.
RORY: Paris?
PARIS: What?
RORY: What do you mean what? He just asked you out on a date.
PARIS: He did not.
RORY: Yes, he did. You're having dinner with Jamie tonight.
PARIS: It's a victory dinner, that's it.
RORY: Paris, if he just wanted to celebrate winning a debate, you guys could've had coffee afterward, but he asked you out on a date.
PARIS: He did?
RORY: Yes.
PARIS: Did I accept?
RORY: Yes.
PARIS: I'm going on a date?
RORY: Yes, you are.
PARIS: Oh man, I can't believe this! I finally get asked out on a date and I missed it? Was it a good ask-out?
RORY: It was a very good ask-out.
PARIS: God, I wish I'd been there.
RORY: Well, you'll be there tonight.
PARIS: Tonight? Tonight I have a date. Tonight I have a date with Jamie  a Princeton man. I can overlook that. Oh my God, I can't believe it. . .I have a date.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
[Michel is at the front desk talking to Kirk]
KIRK: One day it occurred to me, cows never wrinkle.
MICHEL: Mmhmm.
KIRK: Think about it  have you ever seen a wrinkled cow? No, not once. So I thought to myself, "That is weird."
MICHEL: Yes, that and other things.
KIRK: So I decided to do a little research. I studied cows, I studied humans, and finally I discovered the secret  the secret of the cows.
LORELAI: [walking up to them] Michel, could you, uh. . .hi Kirk.
MICHEL: Oh, good, just in time. Kirk here is about to tell us the difference between cows and humans.
LORELAI: You mean, other than one's a cow?
MICHEL: Shh. Go ahead, Kirk.
KIRK: Hay.
LORELAI: Huh?
KIRK: Hay, it's hay  cows eat hay. And after some experimentation and a great deal of research, I developed what I believe to be the next great skin care product to sweep the nation. [shows them a bottle]
LORELAI: [reads the label] Hay There.
KIRK: A complete line of creams, balms, toning lotions, and cleansing liquids.
LORELAI: Kirk, we already have a skin care line here, I'm sorry.
KIRK: I am willing to give you three cases of "Hay There" skin products absolutely free of charge. Try them, you will see what I'm talking about.
LORELAI: Well, uh, thank you very much, Kirk. . . but, I'm sorry  don't cows eat grass?
KIRK: Sometimes, but "Grass There" is a bad name. [leaves]
MICHEL: So sad not to have a cocktail in your hand every time he comes by, no?
[the phone rings]
LORELAI: [answers] Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking.
EMILY: What day is this?
LORELAI: Mom?
EMILY: What day is this?
LORELAI: Mom, I have a group of
EMILY: It's Thursday.
LORELAI: Thank God. Now, could I possibly
EMILY: Thursday the what, Lorelai?
LORELAI: It's
EMILY: Thursday the third. And what was happening Thursday the third, Lorelai?
LORELAI: I believe it was the day I was supposed to chew my own head off.
EMILY: Your father and I were coming home from Martha's Vineyard.
LORELAI: I know you were.
EMILY: And you said that when we got home, you were going to call us.
LORELAI: I know I did.
EMILY: Well, we're home, and yet there's no call, no message, no card.
LORELAI: Mom, it's eleven o'clock in the morning. I said I would call you on Thursday, I didn't say when on Thursday, I just said Thursday. Technically I haven't screwed up for another twelve hours.
EMILY: Lorelai, everyone knows that you are supposed to call people as soon as they have arrived home. That's the polite way to do it.
LORELAI: You didn't tell me what time you were coming home.
EMILY: Well, you never asked what time we were coming home.
LORELAI: Yes, but you never told me so there's no way I could know, so even though I didn't ask I still didn't know and it's only elev. . .I'm sorry.
EMILY: Apology accepted. Now I assume we'll be seeing you and Rory for dinner tomorrow?
LORELAI: Uh, you'll see me but Rory doesn't get back til Saturday.
EMILY: Oh, what a shame. I thought she was coming back tomorrow.
LORELAI: Nope, she's coming back Saturday.
EMILY: Well, I'm very disappointed. I had it written down for tomorrow.
LORELAI: Well, you must've written it down wrong, Mom. She's coming home Saturday.
EMILY: Your father thought it was tomorrow, also.
LORELAI: See you at seven.
EMILY: Hold a moment, Lorelai. Do you know where Christopher is?
LORELAI: Um, why?
EMILY: We wanted him to come with you and Rory tomorrow, even though apparently Rory's getting back Saturday, though I couldn't sworn it was tomorrow.
LORELAI: Christopher's away on business but I'll tell him you invited him.
EMILY: And tell him to come with you two next week. I wanna see the three of you together.
LORELAI: Yes, that would be a nice picture.
EMILY: All right, see you tomorrow.
LORELAI: Yes, you will. Bye.
CUT TO WASHINGTON DORM ROOM
[Rory is on the phone with Dean while Paris gets ready for her date]
RORY: My plane gets in at three.
DEAN: I'm in at six.
PARIS: Red, purple, green  where the hell is it?
RORY: That gives me three hours to look presentable. Hm, perhaps I'll go blonde.
DEAN: I strongly request that you don't.
RORY: Afraid of change?
DEAN: No, I just like what I have.
RORY: I like a man who settles.
DEAN: I miss you.
RORY: I miss you, too.
PARIS: Hey, hey, stop being cute. I need help here.
RORY: I have to go. Paris is melting down.
DEAN: Why?
RORY: She has a date tonight.
DEAN: Really?
PARIS: Don't sound so surprised.
RORY: How do you know he sounded surprised?
PARIS: Because I'm a genius, Rory. I have deep and powerful clairvoyant abilities.
RORY: Oh boy.
PARIS: For example, I can instantly deduce that when someone hears the name Paris in the same sentence with the word date, jaws will drop, confused looks will cover faces, words like how' and why' and Quick, Bob, get the children in the minivan because the world is obviously coming to an end!' will immediately fly out of people's mouths.
RORY: I have to go.
DEAN: Are you sure it's safe?
RORY: I'll be fine. I'll see you Friday.
DEAN: See you Friday. I love you.
PARIS: That's it, I'm shaving my head.
RORY: Gotta go. [hangs up] Okay, Paris, you have got to calm down.
PARIS: I had a black sweater and now it's gone.
RORY: I'm not just talking about right now  in general, you need to calm down.
PARIS: He's almost here, I'm not dressed, my makeup's not done, and I haven't gone through the Zagat yet to pick out a restaurant.
RORY: Why don't you just let him pick out the restaurant?
PARIS: What if he doesn't have a Zagat?
RORY: Well, then he'll wing it.
PARIS: Wing it? How come other girls get planned out dinners? Flowers, candy, rose petals thrown on the floors  and I get wing it?
RORY: Well, you don't know that you've got wing it.
PARIS: No, I do. I've got wing it. I can't do this.
RORY: What?
PARIS: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.
RORY: Not true.
PARIS: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring?
RORY: Sit.
PARIS: It's a dare. He was dared to take me out. I bet Trent Lott was behind this.
RORY: Trent Lott did not dare Jamie to take you out. Close. Jamie likes you and he asked you out because he likes you. Now look up.
PARIS: Maybe I shouldn't go. I mean, what if I fall for him and he doesn't like me?
RORY: Then you'll find someone else.
PARIS: But what if there is no one else?
RORY: Then you'll buy some cats.
PARIS: I wish I knew if he was right for me, you know? So I don't put myself through all of this for nothing. I mean, women fall for men who are wrong for them all of the time, and then they get sidetracked from their goals. They give up careers and become alcoholics and, if you're Sunny von Bülow, wind up in a coma completely incapable of stopping Glenn Close from playing you in a movie.
RORY: I think you should wear your hair down.
PARIS: How do you know if a guy is right for you?
RORY: You just have to feel it.
PARIS: All I feel is my back breaking out.
RORY: You'll know, okay? You just have to let it happen. And then, probably when you're not looking, you'll find someone who compliments you.
PARIS: Meaning?
RORY: Someone who likes what you like, someone who reads the same books or listens to the same music or likes to trash the same movies. Someone compatible.
PARIS: Okay.
RORY: But not so compatible that they're boring.
PARIS: Someone who's compatible but not compatible.
RORY: Yeah, kind of. I mean, you respect each other's opinions and you can laugh at the same jokes, but I don't know  there's just something about not quite knowing what the other person's gonna do at all times that's just really exciting. Look, just have a good time, you'll figure it out.
PARIS: Yeah, well, I hope I figure it out fast. . .before I throw up.
[there's a knock at the door]
PARIS: That's him.
RORY: Turn around.
PARIS: Well?
RORY: Perfect.
PARIS: Promise?
RORY: Swear.
PARIS: Thanks. Now get in the closet.
RORY: What?
PARIS: If he comes in here and sees you, he won't wanna date me anymore.
RORY: Paris, that's crazy! He's seen me  he's seen me for weeks.
PARIS: Yes, in conferences, crowded lecture halls, badly lit banquet rooms with crappy food smells, not at night when it's dating time and he's thinking about dating and you're standing there looking all datable.
RORY: I'm not looking datable.
PARIS: Please? I can't risk it. At least if there's nothing to compare me to, then I've got a fighting chance, please!
RORY: Okay, but when you get home, you need to get a new therapist because the one you have is really not working. [goes into the closet]
PARIS: Thanks for helping me get ready.
RORY: [from inside closet] Any time.
[Paris answers the door]
PARIS: Hi.
JAMIE: Hello. You look very nice.
PARIS: Well, this is a really good sweater.
JAMIE: So, shall we get going?
PARIS: Oh, sure, sure.
JAMIE: Do you like Italian food?
PARIS: I love Italian food.
JAMIE: Good. I've made a reservation at a great place. Well, at least, that's what the Zagat guide says.
PARIS: You're perfect.
JAMIE: Let's go.
CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES
[Lorelai and Sookie are browsing]
SOOKIE: How could you not tell them?
LORELAI: Well, they left two days after your wedding and they were in Martha's Vineyard all summer. It just seemed quieter.
SOOKIE: What do you think, manly? [holds up a statue]
LORELAI: In an Oscar Wilde sort of way, absolutely.
SOOKIE: You know, you're gonna have to tell them tonight, right? I mean, the subject will come up. They probably think you and Christopher are heading down the aisle any day now.
LORELAI: Ugh, I know, I know.
SOOKIE: A shaving table, it's perfect!
LORELAI: And twelve hundred dollars.
SOOKIE: Twelve hundred dollars for what?
MRS. KIM: What do you mean, for what? This is an antique.
SOOKIE: Where does she come from?
MRS. KIM: This was Sherman's shaving table.
LORELAI: Sherman?
MRS. KIM: General Sherman, famous man, burned Atlanta, liked a close shave.
LORELAI: Wow, historical.
MRS. KIM: All original, perfect shape. I give you ten percent off, you want it?
SOOKIE: Oh, well, maybe. I just wanted to look around a little bit first. . .but it's very nice.
MRS. KIM: I know it's very nice. [walks away]
LORELAI: Boy, she would've made a great nun.
SOOKIE: So how are you planning on telling them?
LORELAI: I thought I'd do it like Nell. You know, chicka chicka chickabee.
SOOKIE: Yeah, that's a very good idea.
LORELAI: I'll tell them, I promise.
SOOKIE: Oh, oh my God, look! [walks over to a fish mounted on a piece of wood]
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: For over the mantelpiece. It's perfect!
LORELAI: It's a dead fish.
SOOKIE: It's an antique stuffed and mounted trout, and I think it's manly.
LORELAI: Oh, please!
SOOKIE: It is! It's very Ralph Lauren.
LORELAI: Sookie, Jackson loves you. You're not seriously telling me the future of your marriage depends on Leon Troutsky over there.
SOOKIE: I guess not.
LORELAI: Just think about it, okay? You don't have to make every decision right now. Do a little more shopping. Maybe you'll find something even more disgusting someplace else.
SOOKIE: Okay.
LORELAI: Okay, I gotta go pick up Rory at the airport, and then we'll swing by and pick up you guys for the festival.
SOOKIE: Great.
LORELAI: Okay, see you later.
SOOKIE: Bye.
[Lorelai walks toward the door and stops to talk to Mrs. Kim.]
LORELAI: Ten bucks if you don't let her buy the fish.
MRS. KIM: Twenty.
LORELAI: [laughs] You're kidding?
MRS. KIM: I never kid.
LORELAI: You know, I believe that.
CUT TO AIRPORT
[Rory walks out of her gate; Lorelai calls to her from across the room]
LORELAI: Hey Gilmore!
RORY: Mom!
[They run to each other and hug, then fall on the ground]
LORELAI: Ow, ow!
RORY: Ah!
LORELAI: Ow!
RORY: Ah!
LORELAI: Oh!
RORY: Agh!
LORELAI: Oh, oh! Luckily there are video cameras everywhere that caught that very graceful moment on tape.
RORY: I am so glad to see you!
LORELAI: No, I'm glad to see you!
RORY: I'm never leaving home again.
LORELAI: Oh, that's my emotionally stunted girl! Hey, I got you gifts.
RORY: What? I'm the one that left town, I'm supposed to get you gifts.
LORELAI: Oh, but I got here early and there was nothing to do except feed gummy bears to the bomb-sniffing dogs which, apparently, the United States government frowns upon.
RORY: You got in trouble with the government while you were waiting for me?
LORELAI: Just a little.
RORY: How much is a little?
LORELAI: Learn Russian. Okay, here you go. [pulls a shirt out of the gift bag]
RORY: Wow, a Hartford, Connecticut sweatshirt.
LORELAI: Nice, huh?
RORY: [looks through the gift bags] Hartford, Connecticut notebook, Hartford, Connecticut pencil set, a Hartford, Connecticut shot glass.
LORELAI: And beer mug!
RORY: Hartford baguette, Hartford bear, a Hartford sunglasses.
LORELAI: You like?
RORY: I love.
LORELAI: All right, let's go. We'll get your bags, then we'll hit the road, and I can't wait to hear all about Washington. And, by the way, I got you out of dinner with the Gilmores tonight. I thought you and Dean might enjoy a little Peaches and Herb time together.
RORY: Oh, thanks. What'd you tell them?
LORELAI: That you get home tomorrow.
RORY: Big fat lie.
LORELAI: Yes, which proves how much I love you. The fact that I was willing to lie to my own parents who I never lie to just so you could have a night of happiness is proof positive of my deep undying devotion that I have for you.
RORY: I appreciate that.
LORELAI: And all that devotion can be yours for the low, low price of $29.95!
RORY: Forget it.
LORELAI: Okay, I'll throw in a set of steak knives.
RORY: My bags, please?
LORELAI: Are you telling me that you want this gesture of love for free? What kind of world are you living in?
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai and Rory walk through the front door with Rory's bags]
LORELAI: Oh my God, you do know one option was leaving some of your books at home?
RORY: Hey, I offered to carry that one.
LORELAI: Next time, don't offer  insist. Look, I'm lopsided now.
RORY: I can't believe I'm home. I feel like I've been away forever.
LORELAI: I agree.
RORY: Hello living room.
LORELAI: Hello Rory, we missed you. Not the ottoman, of course, but everyone knows he's a snob. Napoleon complex, he only really likes the magazine rack.
RORY: Oh my God, I missed everything. My kitchen, my room, my books, my CDs, my stuff. Where's my pillow?
LORELAI: What?
RORY: You took my pillow.
LORELAI: I did not take your pillow.
RORY: You waited until I left, you went into my room, and you took my pillow.
LORELAI: Well, you weren't using it.
RORY: What else did you take?
LORELAI: Nothing. Your comforter came into my room by itself. . .and brought your Bauhaus T-shirt with it.
RORY: I want my stuff back by tomorrow morning.
LORELAI: Just cause you leave doesn't mean the world stops.
RORY: By noon.
LORELAI: Fine.
[Lorelai pushes the play button on the answering machine]
CHRISTOPHER: [on machine] Lor, it's me, please just call
[Lorelai deletes the message]
RORY: Dad?
LORELAI: Yeah.
RORY: Still haven't talked to him yet, huh?
LORELAI: No, you?
RORY: Nope.
LORELAI: He's called.
RORY: I know. He's called me, too.
LORELAI: I just. . .I don't really know what to say.
RORY: How long are you gonna freeze him out for?
LORELAI: I don't know.
RORY: Right.
LORELAI: You?
RORY: I don't know either.
LORELAI: I have to tell my parents tonight.
RORY: Are you sure you don't want me to go with you and . . . I don't know, distract them?
LORELAI: No, you've got Dean coming over. I'll be fine. I'll bring them something shiny.
RORY: Okay, I'm gonna go change then.
LORELAI: For what?
RORY: The festival.
LORELAI: Hon, you know what, if you don't wanna go, we don't have to go.
RORY: Why would I not wanna go? Of course I wanna go.
LORELAI: You just got home, you've got Dean coming over.
RORY: No, I wanna go. I wanna go because this is our town and we need to support these things.
LORELAI: All right, but. . .you don't have to change for that.
RORY: Well, I've been away for awhile, I wanna make a nice impression.
LORELAI: On who?
RORY: Whoever has to look at me.
[they walk into Rory's bedroom]
LORELAI: All right, just hustle. I promised Jackson and Sookie I'd pick them up along the way.
RORY: I'll just be a minute.
LORELAI: No woman is ever a minute when she changes.
RORY: Do not judge me by your own standards. [pulls out a dress]
LORELAI: Wow, fancy.
RORY: Not fancy.
LORELAI: You know, you'll have time to come home and change for Dean.
RORY: Well, I can just change now, then I won't have to do it later.
LORELAI: Okay. Hey Rory, I don't want you to freeze out your dad because I am.
RORY: I'm not.
LORELAI: Cause I'm fine if you wanna go back to the way things were.
RORY: I think that would be a little hard this time.
LORELAI: Okay, maybe not now, but eventually.
RORY: Eventually, maybe, but for now  solidarity sister.
LORELAI: Ya ya!
RORY: You've been waiting for six weeks to do that, haven't you?
LORELAI: Ya ya!
RORY: I'll just be a minute.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Lorelai and Rory walk out of some bushes near Sookie and Jackson's house]
LORELAI: See, three minutes faster. I also found a way to get to Al's Pancake World that shaves a good forty seconds off our normal route.
RORY: You were really bored when I was gone, weren't you?
LORELAI: You have no idea.
[As they walk up Sookie and Jackson's front steps, they hear yelling from inside]
JACKSON: Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?
SOOKIE: I don't understand why you're so upset.
JACKSON: How can you not understand? I told you a thousand times.
SOOKIE: I thought you were just being nice.
[Lorelai and Rory peek through the front door. Sookie has redecorated the living room and filled it with masculine objects]
JACKSON: Nice! Sookie, look at this place!
SOOKIE: I think it looks nice.
JACKSON: Nice. . .nice? This is nice. . .this is nice? [points to a life-sized stuffed grizzly bear]
SOOKIE: Well, it's masculine!
JACKSON: No, it's terrifying! I swear I'm gonna come out in the middle of the night for a drink of water, turn around, hit the floor and play dead!
SOOKIE: Okay, so, we have a little work to do.
JACKSON: Just put it back the way it was.
SOOKIE: No, I want you to be happy!
JACKSON: I was happy, I told you I was happy, you just didn't wanna believe I was happy!
[Lorelai and Rory walk away from the house and walk toward the festival]
LORELAI: We'll just check on them a little later.
RORY: Excellent idea.
[they walk into the crowd]
LORELAI: Okay, so, do we do cheese stick, hot dog, cotton candy, or do we mix it up a little  start with the cotton candy and end with the cheese stick? Who are you looking for?
RORY: No one, I'm just taking in all the madness, that's all.
LORELAI: Ah.
[Kirk walks up to them]
KIRK: Lorelai, good. Have you used the cream yet?
LORELAI: Uh, not yet, Kirk.
KIRK: Good, there's been a little problem.
LORELAI: What kind of problem?
KIRK: Nothing of major concern. It just seems that with continual use, the cream develops some weird reactions to light. . .and air. . .and movement.
LORELAI: Are you serious?
KIRK: Don't worry, it's just a small kink. It'll all be worked out soon.
LORELAI: I have three cases of that stuff sitting at the inn.
KIRK: Well, get rid of it.
LORELAI: Kirk.
KIRK: Uh, but don't throw it in the trash. Apparently, that would be an EPA violation.
LORELAI: What am I supposed to do with the stuff?
KIRK: Shooting it into space is about all I've got now.
LORELAI: Kirk!
KIRK: I'll pick up the cases tomorrow.
LORELAI: Thank you.
[Kirk walks away]
LORELAI: Hey.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Do you sometimes think this town is weird or is it just me?
[Lorelai and Rory walk up to Taylor]
LORELAI: Hey Taylor, is this where the mosh pit starts?
TAYLOR: Well, hello Lorelai, Rory. So what do you think of the band? Pretty big city, don't you think?
LORELAI: Mm, I sure do.
TAYLOR: What?
LORELAI: What? I'm agreeing with you. They are smokin'!
TAYLOR: I do not care for that sarcastic tone, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Well. . .uh. . .no, I'm being nice here!
TAYLOR: You have an opinion on everything. Nothing is ever up to your standards.
LORELAI: That is not true. I'm sure these guys are all great barbers.
TAYLOR: I don't even know why I bother. [leaves]
LORELAI: That is it  I have been it for the last. . .[sees Rory staring off at something] What? [sees Jess and a girl kissing against a tree] Oh, well, looks like he's got his what I did this summer' essay all researched and ready to go. Guess you dodged a bullet there, huh?
RORY: What do you mean?
LORELAI: I don't know. It seems kind of lucky that you didn't throw everything away for Jess when you see. . .
RORY: See what? What am I seeing?
LORELAI: You're upset.
RORY: No, I'm not upset.
LORELAI: Yes, you are upset. I know when you're upset cause you look like my mother.
RORY: Thanks a lot.
LORELAI: You like my mother.
RORY: Yes, but you don't like your mother, so when you tell me that I look like your mother, it's not exactly a compliment.
LORELAI: Honey, what is wrong?
RORY: Oh God!
LORELAI: What is it?
RORY: It's that!
LORELAI: Jess?
RORY: Yes!
LORELAI: You're upset about Jess?
RORY: I said yes.
LORELAI: Yes, it's Jess?
RORY: You're not being funny.
LORELAI: It's not my fault that yes and Jess rhyme. Did I exploit the opportunity, of course I did, but . . .Rory, come on. I know you had this crush
RORY: It wasn't a crush.
LORELAI: Well, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked to him since
RORY: Sookie's wedding.
LORELAI: You talked to him at Sookie's wedding?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: He wasn't at Sookie's wedding.
RORY: Yes, he was. He had just come back and he came to see me.
LORELAI: Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding, and. . .
RORY: And nothing. He told me that he was back in town, that he'd moved back, and. . .
LORELAI: What Rory? Come on.
RORY: And we kissed, okay?
LORELAI: You kissed?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: You kissed, like. . .you kissed?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: Okay, who kissed who?
RORY: What does that matter?
LORELAI: Because it matters. Did he kiss you, did you kiss each other, did you trip and your faces accidentally  .
RORY: I kissed him.
LORELAI: Okay.
RORY: And I don't know, I thought he came back here because he liked me or something, and I kissed him and he kissed me back, and now he's over there and I feel so stupid and. . .that girl isn't even his type and -
LORELAI: Rory, what are you doing?
RORY: What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you.
LORELAI: Yeah, but you went to Sookie's wedding with. . .with Dean.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: And then you ran off to have some thing with Jess.
RORY: It was a kiss, not a thing.
LORELAI: A kiss is a thing.
RORY: Well, it wasn't planned, it just happened.
LORELAI: I can't believe it. All this time I'm thinking, She's with Dean.'
RORY: I am with Dean.
LORELAI: No, Rory  kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him, I bet he'd back me up on that.
RORY: It was nothing.
LORELAI: Well, then why are you so freaked out?
RORY: I'm not freaked out.
LORELAI: Look, kid, you have gotta make up your mind. Jess, Dean, Jess, Dean  it's enough already. If you want Jess, that's fine  go get him, there he is. If you think that's the great love of your life, then great. . .grab a liver treat and a squeaky toy and run to him. Don't worry about that girl because I'm sure he will have moved onto somebody else in about an hour. But do something. Dean has been sweet and supportive and incredibly patient, and now you are officially treating him like dirt, and I'm sorry, but not only is that not you, he doesn't deserve that. God, I wish they knew another song!
RORY: I know all of this about Dean.
LORELAI: You do?
RORY: Yes, I do. I know how great he is. I knew it before you did!
LORELAI: Well, knowing this has apparently not stopped you from dragging his heart all over this town.
RORY: Not fair!
LORELAI: Yes, fair, the fairest, the Snow White of fair.
RORY: I don't wanna talk to you about this anymore.
LORELAI: Okay, listen, if you don't wanna be with Dean anymore, cut him loose. Let him find someone who does because this is just so. . .wrong!
RORY: All right, I get it, I . . .just stop!
DEAN: [calls from across the street] Rory! [walks over to them] Hey.
RORY: Hi.
LORELAI: Hi Dean.
RORY: I thought your plane didn't get in til six.
DEAN: Well, I managed to get an earlier flight.
LORELAI: Well, I'm off to dinner with the parents.
DEAN: Do you have
LORELAI: No, she's off the hook. You guys have all night to. . .talk. Enjoy. Good to have you back, Dean.
DEAN: Thanks.
LORELAI: See you later. [leaves]
DEAN: So, did I interrupt something?
RORY: No, nothing. Uh, we were just. . .hi, you're back.
DEAN: Yeah, I'm back  and I'm glad to find you not blonde.
RORY: Yeah, I was just having way too much fun, so . . .
DEAN: I missed you.
RORY: I missed you, too.
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
[The doorbell rings; Emily answers the door]
EMILY: Lorelai, nice to see you.
LORELAI: Oh, sorry I'm late, Mom.
EMILY: No, don't be sorry. That's what the warm setting was invented for. Richard, Lorelai's here!
LORELAI: Um, Mom, before we get the evening started and all, I wanna tell you something.
EMILY: Well, tell me outside.
LORELAI: No, I'll just do it here.
EMILY: Why?
LORELAI: Oh, there's just something about standing near the exit that's really working for me.
EMILY: You're being silly, you don't discuss things standing by a door. Come outside, come on.
RICHARD: I may have to take one more call tonight, Emily. Ben Stellen and I got cut off. Hello Lorelai.
EMILY: Well, come outside with us until he calls back. Lorelai's about to tell us something.
RICHARD: Oh, perhaps that she's decided to buy an accurate timepiece.
EMILY: Oh, Richard. [they start walking to the back patio] Is Rory okay?
LORELAI: Oh, yes, Rory's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine, it's really not that big a deal.
RICHARD: What would you like to drink?
LORELAI: Oh, whatever.
RICHARD: I can't read minds, Lorelai.
LORELAI: I really don't care, Dad. Whatever you have.
RICHARD: We have everything, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Al right, I'll have a Yaegermeister and a Jell-O shot.
RICHARD: Uh, excuse me?
LORELAI: White wine.
EMILY: All right, sit, sit. [they sit down] Now go ahead, tell us.
LORELAI: Okay, well
EMILY: Oh, wait just a second. We brought you something from Martha's Vineyard.
LORELAI: Oh, that's great, but maybe we could just do. . . [Emily hands her a gift bag]. . .okay, I guess it's present time.
EMILY: Open it.
[pulls something out of the bag]
LORELAI: Scone mix, wow.
EMILY: This new little place opened right down the road from our house and they make these wonderful scones, and that is their mix so you can make them right in your own kitchen.
LORELAI: Well, thanks, Mom. I will put this right on the counter and stare at it for many years to come.
EMILY: You're not going to make them?
LORELAI: Oh, I'm not really much of a baker.
EMILY: But the instructions are right there on the back.
LORELAI: Yeah, I know, but still.
EMILY: Still what? Those are good scones.
LORELAI: Hey, maybe I'll give this to Sookie and she'll bake them.
EMILY: I don't understand why you simply can't follow those directions and make the scones.
RICHARD: Rory would love those scones.
LORELAI: Okay, I promise one way or another, the scones will get eaten. That being said, can we please move on?
EMILY: Fine, go ahead, talk, we're listening.
LORELAI: Um, okay, well, um, it's about Christopher.
EMILY: Oh, that reminds me, we got him a captain's hat. Richard, where is that hat? Lorelai can bring it to him.
LORELAI: No, I can't!
EMILY: Why not?
LORELAI: Well, it's just, um. . .Chris and I aren't . . .
RICHARD: Aren't what?
EMILY: They aren't together anymore, Richard.
RICHARD: Why not?
EMILY: I'm sure a vague reason is forthcoming.
LORELAI: It just didn't work out, that's all.
EMILY: And there it is.
LORELAI: I know you're disappointed.
EMILY: Disappointed, oh please! Lorelai, this is ridiculous. The two of you aren't in high school anymore.
LORELAI: I know.
RICHARD: Emily, let's not talk about this.
EMILY: No, we are going to talk about it. You're running around like you have no responsibility in life, like you can flit from thing to thing. . .
LORELAI: That's not true.
EMILY:. . .from man to man.
LORELAI: I don't flit from man to man.
EMILY: You have a daughter, this affects Rory too, you know!
RICHARD: Emily, you're wasting your breath.
LORELAI: I know this affects Rory. I'm not doing this lightly. In fact, I'm not doing anything at all.
RICHARD: There's no reason to raise your voice.
LORELAI: I can't believe this.
EMILY: I wanna know why. I want a reason. I don't want any of this just because' and it just didn't work out' nonsense. I want a solid, adult reason why the father of my granddaughter and her mother can't seem to put a family together.
LORELAI: His girlfriend is pregnant.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: Sherry is pregnant, and when Christopher found out, he went back to her and that, Mother, is the reason.
EMILY: Are they getting married?
LORELAI: I don't know  probably.
RICHARD: Oh, of course they're getting married.
EMILY: How do you know?
RICHARD: I know because I know Christopher, and Christopher always tries to do the right thing.
EMILY: The right thing is for him to be with his family. Lorelai and Rory are his family. He met this woman two minutes ago.
RICHARD: Emily, he is going to be a father.
EMILY: He already is a father!
LORELAI: I really really don't wanna discuss this anymore.
EMILY: Lorelai, you have to talk to him.
LORELAI: There's nothing to talk about.
EMILY: Tell him you wanna get married.
LORELAI: Okay, Mom, please stop.
RICHARD: Yes, Emily, please stop. You know that Lorelai never does anything unless she wants to  no matter the consequences to anyone else.
LORELAI: What's that supposed to mean?
EMILY: Lorelai wants to be with Christopher, she told us that at the wedding.
RICHARD: Yes, and now the wind has changed.
LORELAI: Excuse me?
RICHARD: Christopher is living up to his responsibilities as he tried to do many years ago with Lorelai, then she turned him down and turned him away.
LORELAI: I was sixteen.
RICHARD: If Christopher has found someone who will actually allow him to be a father to his own child, then of course, that's what he's going to do.
EMILY: So you support this?
RICHARD: I understand this.
EMILY: I am appalled by your attitude.
RICHARD: And I am shocked by your naïveté. Did you really expect this to work out? Did you really have pictures of Norman Rockwell family Christmases dancing in your head? Lorelai had her chance for a family, she walked away from it. That was her choice. He has a chance to be a father. I applaud him.
EMILY: Then you're an idiot.
RICHARD: If you'll excuse me, I'm going into my study.
EMILY: Richard! You do not walk out on me when we are having a discussion. Richard!
[While Emily and Richard are arguing, Lorelai walks into the house and leaves through the front door]
CUT TO STARS HOLLOW
[Lorelai pulls up in the town square. She looks around, then walks into Luke's Diner. Luke is standing at the cash register.]
LUKE: We're closed.
LORELAI: I know. Look, I didn't come here to make up, or to try to get you to forgive me, or talk. I wouldn't even have come here at all but I had a really crappy night and I really, really need a cup of coffee. Just pretend I'm not me. I'm Mimi, a new customer. I've never been in here before. I was just walking down the street and I spotted this place. Ooh, hey, nice place.' And I came in. Now Mimi is going to pour herself a cup of coffee and sit over here way far away from you, and she promises, just as soon as she's done, she will rinse out her own cup and leave.
[Lorelai pours herself a cup of coffee and sits at the end of the counter.]
LORELAI: This is the second time I let myself do this.
LUKE: Do what?
LORELAI: Think I finally found it.
LUKE: Found what?
LORELAI: Love, comfort, safety.
LUKE: Ah.
LORELAI: I mean, first with Max, which of course, I screwed up, and then with Christopher, which of course, all the elements of the universe got together to screw up.
LUKE: Yup, it's tough when the universe is against you. That's like taking on the Manhattan garbage union.
LORELAI: I always thought if he could just get it together, grow up  maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family, in the stupid, traditional Dan Quayle, golden retriever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits' kind of way. And then he did get it together  he became that guy. . . and he gets to be that guy with her. Chris is gonna have a baby with his girlfriend. He's gonna marry her. . .and he's gonna be there for her while she's pregnant and he's gonna be there with her while her child grows up, and he's gonna be there for her while she does. . . whatever it is she does. And I am in exactly the same place that I was in before.
LUKE: Is that so bad? I mean, you got Rory.
LORELAI: Yes, I do.
LUKE: You got friends, you got a house, a job, apparently an iron stomach.
LORELAI: No, it's not so bad. I'm lucky, I know. I just. . .I feel like I'm never gonna have it. . .the whole package, you know? That person, that couple life, and I swear, I hate admitting it because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but. . .I really want it  the whole package.
[Luke puts a donut on a plate, then slides it down the counter to her]
LUKE: You'll get it.
LORELAI: How do you know?
LUKE: I know.
LORELAI: How do you know?
LUKE: Because I know, okay? I know. Now eat your donut.
LORELAI: I'm really not very hungry.
LUKE: Well, take it with you. You will be later.
[Lorelai wraps up the donut and puts it in her purse, then pulls out some money]
LUKE: Forget it, first time customers are on the house. Mimi, was it?
LORELAI: Yeah.
LUKE: Come again, Mimi.
LORELAI: Thanks, I will. Seems like a very nice place.
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Rory is in the living room as Lorelai walks into the house]
LORELAI: Hey, you're home.
RORY: Yup, I'm home.
LORELAI: Oh, hey, I figured how to get the Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer out of our heads  to sing the Small World song over and over for the next forty-eight hours. Of course, how we get the Small World song out of our heads, I have not worked out yet. Okay, see, that was not how that whole scene between us was supposed to go.
RORY: No?
[They sit down on the couch]
LORELAI: No. I mean, yes, I was surprised and I do think the basic sentiment of make up your mind' was kind of called for.
RORY: Absolutely called for.
LORELAI: But I didn't mean to upset you and yell at you and make you feel bad, I'm really sorry, hon.
RORY: I know, but you were right.
LORELAI: Ah, well, that's once, I guess.
RORY: So how was dinner?
LORELAI: So how was Dean?
RORY: So how was dinner?
LORELAI: So how was Dean?
RORY: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Williams' sisters take center stage at Wimbledon once again.
LORELAI: Dinner was bad.
RORY: Sorry.
LORELAI: That's okay, I knew it would be. Oh, but the good news is we can now go back to Luke's.
RORY: You made up! How did you make up?
LORELAI: Well, I'm Mimi now.
RORY: Oh, sure.
LORELAI: So speaking of Dean, is there still a Dean?
RORY: Yeah, there's still a Dean.
LORELAI: Really?
RORY: I don't know what I was doing. Maybe it's because I haven't dated a lot but this Jess thing was crazy. And I do love Dean and you were absolutely right  I was treating him like dirt and I wasn't appreciating what was right in front of me, but I'm going to now.
LORELAI: Rory, I don't want you to stay with Dean because of me.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: Cause I was upset earlier.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: I still have this Christopher thing bugging me and the pressure of tonight's dinner.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: I didn't wanna upset you and I certainly don't want you to make an important decision off of
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: Because it's too important
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: And I just want you to be happy.
RORY: Mom! All I did was think about what you said, that's all. Then I analyzed the situation.
LORELAI: And then you made a pro and con list.
RORY: You're mocking me, but yes, I did. And after all of this, I came to the conclusion that I want to make things good with Dean, and he deserves my undivided attention.
LORELAI: And you feel good about this?
RORY: I feel really good about this.
LORELAI: Okay, because if you decided you really did wanna date Jess, I would help you. . .get vaccinated.
RORY: Thank you, but I'm good.
LORELAI: All right, as long as you're good.
RORY: I am good.
LORELAI: Well, okay, good.
RORY: What about you, are you good?
LORELAI: Me? Well, I'm gonna be good.
RORY: Is there anything I can do to help?
LORELAI: Your existence is a huge help.
RORY: We're both gonna be good.
LORELAI: Yeah. I wonder if Christopher and Sherry's baby is going to look like me?
RORY: Well, if the kid knows what's good for it, it absolutely will.
LORELAI: Hand me my purse, will you? I'm hungry.


DSR Rambaldi artifact storage facility Guard is walking around and he gets tackled by a man. Man kills guard. Not quite sure how.
Man 1: (to radio) I'm in. We see an assault team on the roof. They blow the locks off the gates and steal all the Rambaldi artifacts. Including the nightingale coil, and a ball, which turns out to be the sphere of life. Sydney's apartment. Sydney comes inside.
Sydney: Hey, there's a cab waiting outside.
Nadia: She wouldn't let me drive her to the airport. (she's standing next to Sophia/Elena)
Sydney: Is everything okay?
Nadia: The Lisbon police called. It's safe for Sophia to go home.
Sydney: Oh, that's great. (gives Sophia a big hug) I'm so glad you came.
Sophia: Thank you.
Sophia/Elena: Look at the two of you. Such beautiful and smart women. Before I make a fool of myself. . .(gives Nadia a hug)
Nadia: Promise you'll come back.
Sophia: Nadia, for you, anything. APO Vaughn is watching Jack in his office. Jack is on the phone. Vaughn starts walking toward Jack's office. Marshall stops him.
Marshall: Oh, hey, Vaughn. Could you sign this? It's for Weiss. His grandfather died. (wouldn't Vaughn already know something like that?)
Vaughn: Yeah, actually, can I do it in a little bit? I need to ask Jack something first.
Marshall: Oh, sure. No problem. (follows Vaughn as he continues to Jack's office)
Vaughn: Where are you going?
Marshall: Well, I thought I'd go with you to get Mr. Bristow to sign this while we're in there.
Vaughn: You know what? Actually, I need to see him alone. It's kind of personal.
Marshall: Oh. Uh, since when can you tell Mr. Bristow something you can't tell me?
Vaughn: This is something I need to ask Jack. If you were Sydney's father, I could ask you, but you're not.
Marshall: No, I'm not. I still don't understand what me not being Sydney's father has to do with you-
Vaughn: (pulls out the ring and shows it to Marshall) Understand now?
Marshall: Oh, my God. Hey, man. Congratulations. That's fantastic. I'm sure Mr. Bristow's gonna be thrilled.
Vaughn: Really? I'm just hoping he doesn't shoot him on the spot. (he goes to Jack's office)
Jack: (on the phone speaking in foreign language) No. You're not listening, General. (Vaughn walks in) We're not going to pay you. Because I don't believe it exists. Fine (he hangs up and speaks to Vaughn in English) As if weapon-grade anthrax grows on trees. What is it?
Vaughn: Oh, if this is a bad time, I can-
Jack: No, please. After dealing with that Cechnyan lunatic for the past couple of hours, whatever business you have will be a welcome relief.
Vaughn: Well, we've, um. . .I know you're a man who- I know you're a man who respects tradition. As I do. And-
Jack: Please get to the point, Agent Vaughn.
Vaughn: I'm gonna ask Sydney to marry me, and I'd like your blessing.
Jack: Perhaps you believe my recent illness has rendered me less coherent than before, or that my cognitive faculties have been somehow dulled or diminished. Allow me to clarify the facts for you, Agent Vaughn. While I've come to believe you're not as useless as I first imagined, I still don't feel you have- (alarms go off) CIA agents come in carrying boxes.
Agent: Everyone please remain where you are. This is a warranted search.
Jack: May I see that?
Agent: (hands Jack a piece of paper) We've been authorized to confiscate all relevant materials.
Jack: It's been signed by Director Chase. Sydney's apartment. Director Chase and CIA agents knock on the door and Sydney answers.
Chase: Where's your sister?
Sydney: What?
Chase: I expect your full cooperation. (Chase and agents enter with boxes)
Sydney: If Nadia's in some kind of trouble-
Chase: Where is she?
Sydney: In the shower. Agent enters the bathroom. We hear water running. Nadia, wrapped up in a towel, knocks him out and takes his gun. She slowly walks out.
Chase: Stand down, Agent Santos. (Nadia gives her the gun)
Nadia: What's this about?
Chase: (to Nadia) Men are dead. Things are gone, and you've got some explaining to do. The agents continue to search the apartment. They find numerous guns and knives hidden throughout the apartment. Nadia sits in a robe being interrogated by Chase.
Chase: (shows Nadia's laptop to Nadia) Is this yours?
Nadia: Yes.
Chase: Does anyone else use it or have access to it?
Nadia: No.
Chase: Not even Sydney.
Nadia: I said no. Sydney has her own laptop. She also has- We see an agent interrogating Sydney.
Agent: -an assault rifle, a 12-gauge shotgun, four handguns, two tazers, and a . . .secret drawer of knives. Let's start with the knives.
Sydney: Let's start with you not wasting my time. Director Chase says men are dead. What men? What does she think Nadia did?
Chase: (to Nadia) We know you overrode the DSR security system tonight.
Nadia: What?
Chase: Alarms on an access door were deactivated. We traced the override command to your laptop. And you just told me that you're the only one who uses it.
Nadia: Yes, but I didn't do it.
Chase: We also have evidence that tonight's incident isn't the only one that leads back t o you and this laptop. An agent uses a scanner on a bookshelf. He opens a jewelry box and sees the necklace Sophia/Elena gave to Nadia. He brings the necklace to Chase. Jack and Sloane enter the apartment.
Jack: (to an agent standing at the door) We have clearance.
Sydney: Micro transmitter?
Chase: In the medallion. When did she give you this?
Nadia: Few weeks ago. Why should Sophia do something like that?
Jack: It would help explain why several missions were compromised.
Sloane: I personally investigated Sophia Vargas when she first arrived. Prints, background- everything came back clean.
Chase: Well, somebody tapped into Agent Santos's laptop. And because of it, five agents are dead. And several Rambaldi artifacts are gone.
Nadia: I don't believe it. I won't.
Sydney: Why would she do this?
Jack: I think our clue lies in what was stolen.
Sloane: You're reaching for straws, Jack.
Jack: Am I? Who else would be capable of pulling this off?
Chase: What are you talking about?
Jack: Elena.
Sydney: You think Sophia Vargas is connected to Elena Derevko?
Jack: No. I think Sophia Vargas is Elena Derevko. Arvin and I have been searching for her for months. I believe she found us first. Has been using us to achieve her own end.
Sydney: You mean the journal of Vaughn's father, Sloane Clone-
Jack: McCullough, everything. It's been Elena all along.
Sydney: Oh, my God.
Nadia: You're saying it's all a lie? That she spent all these years, all this time, so she could steal some Rambaldi artifacts?
Jack: She is a Derevko. Her sisters possessed that same single-minded purpose.
Sloane: If Jack is right, if Elena has gathered Rambaldi artifacts, her final step would be to assemble them. We can't let that happen. APO Sloane's office. Nadia walks in.
Nadia: She never made it to the airport. The cab dropped her off a few blocks from our house.
Sloane: Have Marshall check traffic cams in the area.
Nadia: I already did. I also notified the FFA to check flight manifests, and I updated train and bus stations with her current I. D.
Sloane: Good. We'll find her.
Nadia: I brought her into my house. This is my fault.
Sloane: No, Nadia, it's mine. It was my obsession with Rambaldi that pulled you into this. It's my mess. It's my responsibility to clean it up. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you- the betrayal.
Nadia: I'm just glad we found her. That I know the truth.
Sloane: Yeah. So, if Elena has all the Rambaldi pieces, there is only one place she can go.
Nadia: To see Lazlo Drake.
Sloane: Yes.
Nadia: I'm on it.
Sloane: Nadia? We'll find her. I promise you. I will end this. China, one year earlier. Nadia and Sloane are in a car, being driven.
Nadia: I don't understand. Why are we in China when I already told you Rambaldi's sphere of life is buried in Siena?
Sloane: Because I need answers to a few final questions. Lazlo Drake is the only man in the world who can provide that. The car stops, there are people passing with animals, in the road.
Driver: (in foreign language) Sorry, sir, it will be a few minutes.
Sloane: (to driver in foreign language) Okay. (to Nadia in English) Before he went into hiding, Drake was a professor of European history. He built his reputation on the single most important discovery of his life- a manuscript. In effect, a template describing how Rambaldi's creations were to be assembled in order to bring forth his final prophecy. Just know that we're gonna make the world a better place, and we need Drake to do it. Later, nighttime outside, somewhere. We meet Drake.
Sloane: Professor Drake, my name is-
Drake: Arvin Sloane. Yes.
Sloane: You know who I am?
Drake: How could I possibly not know of you, Mr. Sloane? Your appetite for all things Rambaldi is almost legendary.
Sloane: This is my daughter, Nadia.
Drake: My God. (he looks at her) I am honored to meet you.
Nadia: Thanks.
Drake: Lovely. Please. (they sit down around the campfire on various logs) You have no idea what it is like to be in your presence. It is like meeting the virgin Mary.
Nadia: What do you mean?
Sloane: Drake, you know why we're here.
Drake: You have collected the Sphere of Life.
Sloane: No, not yet. But we know where it is.
Drake: If it is not in your possession, we have nothing to discuss.
Sloane: You have the only known translation of Rambaldi's Vademecum- instructions for how the pieces fit together. I need to know.
Drake: That is information I will share with whoever has all the artifacts in his possession. Your visit is premature, Mr. Sloane. I suggest you come back, when you have retrieved all the items, including the Sphere. (to Nadia, he takes her hand) You will come back too, won't you? I would like that.
Sloane: (breaks their hands apart) Nadia, I wonder if you would let me speak to the professor alone. (Nadia gets up and walks away)
Drake: I never thought I would see, let alone touch with my own hands, a living embodiment.
Sloane: My daughter is not an artifact.
Drake: So protective of her.
Sloane: She is my daughter.
Drake: You brought her on this journey for one reason- only she can retrieve the Sphere of Life. Only she knows its secret location. You know that.
Sloane: I didn't come this far to quit. Siena Sloane and Nadia are wandering around on some hills.
Nadia: This is it. (they enter a cave, and walk down some stairs)
Sloane: Rambaldi wrote that a man would come and discover the true meaning of his work. And in doing so would change the world. I always wanted to be that man. They come to a room. Sloane lights a torch, which causes the other torches to light up. We see a Rambaldi eye made up of small shards of glass. In the center of the eye is a stand holding the Sphere of Life.
Sloane: It's made of glass. Think of it. You and I are the first ones to set foot in here in almost 500 years. Do you have any idea how many lesser people have dreamed of this moment? And only you can complete this.
Nadia: What?
Sloane: Nadia, this is the part of the journey that I can't take. You have to bring the box.
Nadia: I don't understand.
Sloane: Rambaldi had a role for you to play. I need you to do this Nadia. I need you to bring me that Sphere. Nadia, we can change the world. Go. (pause) Go. Nadia steps out carefully onto the glass. You can hear the shards scraping against each other.
Sloane: Have faith, sweetheart. (She reaches the stand) Yes. (she opens the box) No, Nadia. Bring the box to me. Nadia touches the box and sees visions of what happens in the finale. Includes Sydney and Nadia fighting, the red ball, and the sound of a horse neighing.
Nadia: (to Sloane) You lied. It was not about peace. (she leaves the box where it is and goes back to Sloane)
Sloane: Nadia, I am your father. You will go back there and bring me the box. (he grabs her roughly) You get back there. I want that box.
Nadia: (crying) You think you can control this power, but it's poisoning you. Don't you see it? You don't have to do this. Please. Let's just walk away. You and I, together.
Sloane: Coward! (he pushes her)
Nadia: Please, let's just go.
Sloane: I don't need you. (he steps out onto the glass) He chose me. (he slowly closes the box back up) See? (the glass breaks and he falls threw) and down the hole) Nadia finds him at the bottom of the hole. There are some glass shards sticking out of him. Nadia pulls the shards out.
Sloane: You're still here.
Nadia: Try not to talk. You've lost a lot of blood.
Sloane: I didn't think that you would be here after I-
Nadia: You're my father. I'm going to get you out of here.
Sloane: Thank you.
Nadia: That shard of glass in your chest- when I move you, it might kill you. I need to pull it out.
Sloane: Okay. (she pulls it out) Ahhh! APO Briefing room. Gang around the table including Chase.
Chase: Who's Lazlo Drake?
Sloane: He is the self-appointed keeper to Rambaldi's endgame. For Elena to complete her plan, she will have to contact him. He has what amounts to the instruction booklet.
Vaughn: I'm sorry, maybe it's only me, but what do you mean when you say "Rambaldi's endgame"? I mean, what is it? Is it a scenario? A weapon?
Sloane: In Elena's hands, most likely an apocalypse.
Jack: Which is why we need to get to Lazlo Drake before she does.
Nadia: Drake's completely off the grid. The manuscript has made him a target. He never stays in one place too long. We saw him in China. He could be anywhere.
Sydney: If Drake's gone underground, he needs a source of income.
Nadia: That's the path I've been pursuing. Greyson Wells, billionaire financer.
Vaughn: Organized crime. Money laundering. CIA's been watching him for years.
Nadia: He's also the man who financed most of Drake's early research into Rambaldi.
Jack: If they're in communication, he might know where to find Drake.
Sloane: Agreed. Coordinate with ops. Draft up a plan to approach Wells. I'll start preparations to talk to Lazlo Drake myself once we have his location.
Dixon: I believe you're forbidden from participating in cases involving this particular subject matter.
Chase: Agent Dixon has a point.
Sloane: Yes. I'm aware of the agreement. But I have a history with Drake.
Sydney: So does Nadia.
Sloane: I'm sure Nadia would agree that her presence would only complicate matters.
Nadia: He's right.
Sloane: Drake will talk to me. If we approach this tactically, his security force will respond. We can not let this turn into a firefight. Our timetable is too critical.
Chase: Proceed as instructed. Once you have a location on Drake, you'll relay it to Director Sloane. That's it, people. Be safe. Cannes Sydney walks into a jewelry shop, wearing a white fur coat.
Doorman: Bonjour. (speaks French, Sydney hands him her purse)
Sydney: Don't touch the fur. (pause) All right, you may touch the fur. (she holds out her arm) Once.
Doorman: (touches the fur) Merci. Sydney walks on. She takes a glass of champagne from a waiter. She continues walking and brushes up against Greyson Wells. She continues over to the jewelry counter.
Doorman: Please, let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to see. (Sydney taps on the glass at a bracelet) Ah, very good. Platinum Liana. (Sydney goes to sit) Fully paired with the flawless brilliance. (brings her the bracelet) Can be worn as a bracelet or an anklet.
Sydney: (she lifts up her ankle) Put. (he does) Hm. (to Wells) What do you think? Ankle or wrist?
Wells: Well, to be honest, I've always found anklets to be a bit vulgar. Though, admittedly, you are making me rethink my position. I think I'd have to see it on your wrist before I gave an informed opinion.
Sydney: Do. (Wells comes over and unattaches the bracelet from her ankle and, when he takes her wrist, we see they both have the Rambaldi eye tattoo on their hands) Something wrong?
Wells: It appears we have a mutual interest. (he puts the bracelet on her wrist)
Sydney: So it seems. (she goes and stands in front of a mirror) Hm.
Wells: Better as a bracelet. Will you allow me to buy it for you?
Sydney: You trying to impress me?
Wells: Well, that depends. Is it working?
Sydney: Sweetheart, it's not your money I'm interested in.
[SCENE_BREAK]
In another room, Sydney is still in her disguise talking on the cell phone.
Sydney: (to phone) I'm going with you to see Drake.
Sloane: This is not your call Sydney.
Sydney: It is now. I have his location. I'll go alone if I have to.
Sloane: Well, he's not gonna talk to you.
Sydney: Then I suggest you get on a plane. Solana airfield. Outside Mexico City. 0800 hours. I'll be there when you land, and we'll go see Drake together. (she leaves and we see Wells sitting in his boxers and tied up in a chair) APO Marshall's lab. He's taking apart the necklace Elena gave to Nadia.
Marshall: Well, all the parts are pretty generic. I mean, it's really difficult to track where it came from. Sorry.
Nadia: It's all right. I just feel stupid I trusted her.
Marshall: Hey, I don't blame you. I mean, she was like family. You know, but don't put this on your self. I mean, hell, I trusted Sloane for 6 years before I found out he was evil. You know. . .not that he's evil, per se. . .We have a long history together. Look we're gonna find this Sophia/Elena woman person. Your dad's totally on it. Mexico Sydney stands near the runway as Sloane's plane lands. Sloane gets out of the plane and goes to Sydney. They start walking.
Sloane: This is a reckless course of action.
Sydney: Try calculated. I'm not letting you meet with a man who's gonna tell you how to put the Rambaldi contraption together.
Sloane: That's ridiculous. I had everything I needed last year, and I gave it up. You know that, Sydney.
Sydney: You didn't have everything.
Sloane: You're putting yourself in danger by coming with me.
Sydney: I know what I'm doing. I just hope you do, because I swear if this is about you and your twisted beliefs-
Sloane: Do you have any idea about what Nadia has been through. Betrayed by the woman who raised her. I would never do anything to put her in any more pain. I'm here for one reason alone- to put an end to this nightmare once and for all.
Sydney: I wish I could believe you. They drive to a trailer out in the middle of nowhere.
Sydney: Looks cozy. (they walk up to the doorway and see a dead man underneath a tree)
Sloane: Elena got here before us.
Sydney: (she opens the door and we see Drake, dead, in a chair) It's Drake.
Sloane: He's dead, isn't he? If I didn't have to rendezvous with you, I would have been here hours ago.
Sydney: If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have to be here at all. (Sydney walks around the trailer, looking around)
Sloane: What are you doing? Sydney sees a camera in the tree. They go inside the trailer. Sydney opens cabinets looking for something. She finds a tv screen. She finds the remote. She turns it on. The screen shows her and Sloane standing there.
Sloane: See if you can rewind the feed. She rewinds it and we see Elena sitting talking with Drake. Sloane stands behind her.
Sloane: (he takes the remote from Sydney) Here, let's start over again at the beginning.
Drake: I have to admit, I did not think it would be you.
Elena: You thought Arvin Sloane would have all the artifacts.
Drake: He nearly completed the work once before.
Elena: And failed. He threw it away. And for what? The girl.
Drake: Do you have a secure facility to assemble everything.
Elena: I do. A factory outside of- Sloane turns the tv off. He tranqs Sydney before she can react.
Sloane: I'm sorry, Sydney. I'm so sorry. (he lays her gently on the floor) APO Jack's office. His phone rings. He answers.
Jack: Yes?
Sydney: Sloane tranqed me. That b*st*rd knocked me out before I could get Elena's location.
Jack: Are you alright?
Sydney: I saw this coming and he still beat me.
Jack: Sydney, are you sure you're okay?
Sydney: Dad, I'm okay.
Jack: I'll notify Director Chase. We'll find him. Stairwell Dixon is standing and Chase comes in.
Chase: Agent Dixon.
Dixon: Why didn't you stop Sloane when you had the chance?
Chase: I understand your reaction.
Dixon: You just opened the door to temptation and let Sloane walk through it?
Chase: End of discussion. (Dixon goes to leave) Hey. . .
Dixon: This man's taken lives.
Chase: I did what I thought was best.
Dixon: I know. In spite of all this, it's good to see you.
Chase: Yeah. (they kiss) Weekends aren't enough.
Dixon: Tell me about it. Sydney's still in Mexico.
Sydney: (answers phone) Yes? I have an idea but you're gonna hate it.
Jack: You want me to talk to your Aunt Katya. (Jack is walking down a corridor)
Sydney: How did you know that?
Jack: First you said I would hate the idea, and you're correct. Second, I arrived at the same conclusion myself. We're at a complete impasse here. Time is running out and she's the only Derevko we have. Call you afterwards. Jack is at Katya's cell. He enters.
Jack: Lock the door behind me.
Katya: (sitting on her bed) Is that look on your face supposed to be intimidating? You forget, Jack- I've seen your tender side.
Jack: I need everything you know on Elena's operations- right now.
Katya: What makes you think I know anything?
Jack: Call it an instinct.
Katya: Do you intend to torture me?
Jack: If I have to.
Katya: While I know that would be enjoyable for both of us, I should warn you, I have quite a bit of stamina. But you already know that about me.
Jack: What do you want?
Katya: Full pardon. Immediate release.
Jack: I don't have that authority.
Katya: You'll find a way.
Jack: If the information you provide leads us to Elena, I will do everything in my power to procure your freedom. You have my word.
Katya: If you're here, my sister must be pursuing aggressive action. What has she done?
Jack: She broke into the DSR, stole a cache of Rambaldi artifacts.
Katya: She has been acquiring artifacts for several years now through her front.
Jack: Her front?
Katya: Don't look so surprised. It has been happening right before your eyes.
Jack: The Covenant.
Katya: See? I knew you could do it, handsome.
Jack: Elena ran the covenant? That's impossible. We dismantled its operations.
Katya: No, that's what she wanted you to believe. You took down a straw man. Elena's agenda's always been the same. It's always been Rambaldi.
Jack: How do we stop her?
Katya: You are asking the wrong sister. Irina spent the last few years of her life tracking Elena. She was determined to stop our sister from enacting her endgame. And she would have done it, too, but. . .you had to go and put a bullet in her head.
Jack: I was set up. Elena put a hit out on Sydney, and framed Irina for it.
Katya: Oh, I see. So you executed my sister on a misunderstanding. Oh, then all is forgiven. Don't stand there pretending you're a patsy. You're too good at what you do. If you pulled the trigger, part of you wanted to be manipulated. I can help you find Elena. But unfortunately, I cannot tell you how to stop her. Thanks to you, that hope died with Irina.
Jack: (on phone) Sydney, listen carefully. Elena Derevko is in Praque. Her base of operations is a decommissioned chemical facility south of the industrial zone.
Sydney: And Katy knew that? She just gave you that location?
Jack: No, Katya never just gives anything. But she tied Elena to the Covenant, knew she worked out of Europe. Marshall and Vaughn were able to pinpoint her exact location based on declassified KGB files and some thermal satellite imaging.
Sydney: Do you think we can trust her?
Jack: She's a Derevko. I need you get on a plane and rendezvous with Dixon and Nadia at Ruzyne Airport. The cargo terminal. They have your ops plan.
Sydney: I'm on my way. (she hangs up) Prague Elena's facility. Daytime. Elena sits at a desk in her office. Someone knocks on the door. Two men come in with Sloane between them. The men leave.
Elena: My men think you're hear to kill me.
Sloane: You should hire smarter men.
Elena: You walk in, unarmed, and surrender yourself. You're not the most convincing, so let me guess. You're here to offer me a deal.
Sloane: I know what you're trying to do. I can help.
Elena: Thank God.
Sloane: You're wise enough to see my value. There's no one on this earth who knows more about Milo Rambaldi.
Elena: I'd heard you reformed.
Sloane: I suppose I've been born again. Elena's facility. Nighttime. Dixon, Nadia, Sydney are near a fence.
Sydney: (on comms) Perimeter security has been disabled. Phoenix and team are on the move.
Jack: (in Marshall's lab) Copy, Phoenix. Director Chase has authorized shoot to kill.
Nadia: Copy that.
Marshall: Okay, now we have the facility on thermal satellite. Looks like there are about 40 people inside. And the blueprints we acquired were accurate. There are three main areas to secure.
Sydney: Understood.
Jack: Sydney, be careful.
Sydney: Copy. Let's move. They sneak off in various directions. Nadia walks down a hallway. Sydney comes to a lab where she avoids confrontation with 2 men. Dixon is near an exit where he sees a prisoner being led into a van.
Man: The prisoner, right?
Man 2: Yes, of course. I'm bringing her down.
Man: Transferring prisoner. (they go in a van and drive off) Sloane comes up behind and draws a gun on Dixon.
Sloane: I was as surprised as you are.
Dixon: (has his gun out too) Drop your weapon.
Sloane: No, Marcus. Drop yours.
Dixon: I said drop your weapon Sloane.
Marshall: Okay, I got em. Pinpointing their location. (Nadia runs down a hallway)
Jack: They're at the loading dock. East side of the building.
Dixon: Put your weapon on the ground.
Sloane: I warned Sydney. I warned all of you not to do this.
Dixon: I mean it.
Sloane: Please, Marcus. It's too big now. You can't stop this. Only I can. Sydney attacks a man. Nadia attacks a man. They both run into the same hallway.
Sloane: You'll have to trust me.
Dixon: Trust you?
Sloane: Get out of here now. Nadia and Sydney hear some gunshots. They run toward the sound. Dixon falls, to reveal Elena, who shot him in the back.
Jack: Outrigger, report. Outrigger, report.
Elena: Time to leave. (she and Sloane leave) Nadia and Sydney run to Dixon.
Sydney: Dixon!
Nadia: Evergreen to base. We need an emergency medical extraction. We have a man down. Repeat, we hav ea man down.
Sydney: Dixon. Hospital Sydney is standing outside Dixon's cubicle. Dixon lies on a bed. Chase kisses him. Jack walks up to Sydney. Chase leaves.
Chase: If anything changes, you call me. (leaves)
Sydney: (to Jack) Did you have any idea she and Dixon. . .
Jack: No. But then I tend to miss those kinds of details.
Sydney: What are you talking about. You're the master of details.
Jack: Really? I've gone over the details a thousand times in my mind. Each one added up to the same conclusion- that your life was in danger and your mother was the lethal threat.
Sydney: Dad, we've gone over this. You don't need-
Jack: I've lived my life trusting in the veracity of details, and in doing so, I lost sight of the one thing I know to be true. Your mother would never hurt you. She was ready to shut Elena down, and I killed her. She was our only hope.
Sydney: That's not true. We can stop them. I know it. You and I may disagree on a lot of things, but I never question your motives. You always have my bests interests at heart. I know that.
Jack: How's Nadia feeling? (Nadia is sitting on a bench down the hall)
Sydney: I don't think she's feeling much of anything, right now. Inside a vehicle. Sloane and Elena.
Elena: How could you let Sydney and Nadia follow?
Sloane: Everything is proceeding as planned.
Elena: You talk the talk, but I'm still not convinced you've returned to the fold. We'll see if you have what it takes to finish the journey. Hallway outside APO. Vaughn is waiting for the elevator. Jack gets out the elevator.
Vaughn: How's Dixon?
Jack: The same. Sydney and Nadia are there now. (Vaughn starts to leave) You asked me a question earlier that I didn't get a chance to answer properly.
Vaughn: I'd say the answer was loud and clear.
Jack: We're more alike than I care to admit, Agent Vaughn. And I realized now that in disapproving of you I was only hating my own limitations. I wasn't asking myself what would be best for Sydney. If you honestly believe that you can make my daughter happy, then by all means you have my blessing to marry her.
Vaughn: Okay. (Jack leaves) Back at hospital. Nadia and Sydney sitting on the bench.
Nadia: You always knew my father would do this.
Sydney: I hoped he wouldn't.
Nadia: Despite everything, I really believed that he chose me. You must think I'm pretty foolish.
Sydney: Of course not. He's your father.
Nurse: (walks up) Agent Bristow, Agent Santos, he's asking for you. (they go to Dixon)
Sydney: Dixon. We have been so worried about you.
Dixon: Before I saw Sloane, I saw a prisoner, shackled. Syd. . .it's your mother. She's alive.