[Press conference]
(Alicia and Peter are walking in a hall and they are going into the press room. There are a lot of journalists.)
Peter: Good morning. An hour ago, I resigned as State's Attorney of Cook Country. I did this with a heavy heart and a deep commitment to fight these scurrilous charges. I wanna be clear. I've never abused my office. I've never traded lighter senses for financial or sexual favors. At the same time, I need to atone for my personal failings with my wife, Alicia, and our two children. The money used in these transactions was mine and mine alone. No public funds were ever utilized. But I do admit to the failure of judgment in my private dealings with these women. Alicia and I ask the press, please respect our privacy. Give us time to hear. With the love of God, and the forgiveness of my family, I know I can rebuild their trust. I wanna thank the people of Chicago; it has been an honor to serve you. And I pray that one day, I may serve you again. Thank you.
(Alicia and Peter leave)
Journalists: Sir! Are you still involved with prostitutes, sir? How many were there, sir? Will you ever try to hold public office again? Sir! Answer the question!
[In a hall]
Press agent: We have interviews set up with the Tribune and Channel Four.
Peter: Absolutely not! I'm not doing any more interviews. I want you to cancel all of them. That's it!
Press agent: I'll tell Channel Two, we don't have a comment at the present time but we emphatically question the authenticity of this thing.
(Press agents leave)
Peter: Hey, you all right?
(Alicia slaps Peter and then, leaves)
Journalists: Mrs.Florrick, how long have you know your husband was having an affair? How are you going to protect your children?
[6 months later; in an office]
(Alicia is waiting and a girl passes in the hall)
Alicia: Oh excuse me, isn't the staff meeting at 9.30?
The girl: You're in the wrong conference room. It's up one floor.
Alicia: Oh, God!
(Alicia takes her stuff and runs to the other floor. She enters into a room)
A voice (Will's voice): This is a major class action. A case that could propel us to the top rank of full service firms, and I don't think I need to remind you what that will do to your year-end bonuses. Anyway, Sheffrin-Marks fired their last firm because they took their eyes off the ball. So, until further notice, your personal lives have been cancelled.
Another voice (Diane's): So, we'll need some of you to help with the lower profile client work to free up our top litigators.
Will: Ed, you take the witness prep on highway redistribution. Don, you take the Brighton criminal and Alicia will take the pro bono. Everyone else, your task is to show Sheffrin-Marks our 'A' game, ok? Let's do this!
(End of the meeting- Alicia and Will are in the hall and they're walking)
Alicia: Will.
Will: Alicia.
Alicia: Hey.
Will: I'm sorry I didn't introduce you in there. Everything is moving real fast with this class action.
Alicia: Well, I just wanted to say thank you for the opportunity. It's a real life saver.
Will: No, glad you could come aboard. Hope you're all right with this pro bono. How'd it sound?
Alicia: Interesting.
Will: Good. Don't be nervous. You worried about the gunshot residue?
Alicia: No...oh, god! (phone rings)
Will: Nice ring tone. Who gets that?
Alicia: Oh, my mother-in-law. My daughter programmed it.
Will: What's yours?
Alicia: I don't wanna know! So, the gun residue.
Will: Diane, you're briefing Alicia, right? Good. So you're in good hands. So, let's catch up, have dinner.
(Diane arrives, Will leaves - Diane and Alicia walk in the halls)
Diane: So, Will speaks highly of you. He says you graduated top of your class at Georgetown. When was this?
Alicia: 15 years ago.
Diane: Hum, hum...and you spent 2 years at?
Alicia: Crozier, Abrams & Abbott.
Diane: Good firm. Will says you clocked the highest billable hours there. Why did you leave?
Alicia: Well, the kids and Peter's career.
Diane: Hum...Brian, can you get Mrs. Florrick the files?
Brian: Sure!
Diane: I want you to think of me as a mentor, Alicia. It's the closest thing we have to an old boys' network in this town.
[Diane's office]
Diane: Women helping women, ok?
Alicia: Ok.
Diane: When I was starting out, I got one great piece of advice. Men can be lazy, women can't. And I think that goes double for you. Not only, you're coming back to the workplace fairly late, but you've some very prominent baggage. But, hey, she can do it, so can you!
(Brian enters in the office)
Diane: Thanks Brian! Like many law firms, we donate 5% of billable hours to pro bono. Sadly, I'm long past my quota on this one: Jennifer Lewis, 26 years old, taught second grade. Accused of killing her ex-husband. Prosecution thought it was a slam dunk 45 years, but the jury came back last week, deadlocked. 6 jurors voted to convict, 6 not; I'm not even sure why the State Attorney is re-trying except he wants...Justice! He wants to prove himself! So, stick with my strategy from the first trial. The police focused on Jennifer so early in the investigation, they never even looked for the carjacker. Deadlock a jury a second time, they'll never re-try a third, ok? Ok, our investigator can get you up to speed for the bail hearing at 3. Cormac, I'm ready!
Alicia: The hearing's today?
Diane: Well, we could delay, but that would leave Jennifer incarcerated for another month. Don't worry, you'll be fine! The ASA's not going to argue against a recognizance release. Let's go, meeting at 10.30.
(Diane leaves and Alicia follows)
[In the hall, Alicia hears the TV from Brian's office. It's the speech of Peter]
Sound from the TV: But I do admit to a failure of judgment in my private dealings with these women.
Brian: Sorry.
Sound from the TV: ...mine and mine alone. No public funds were ever utilized. The recent news...
(Alicia leaves)
[In the hall of the offices]
Cary: Hey, let me help.
Alicia: No, I'm fine.
Cary: I'm heading that way. I'm Cary, the other new associate.
Alicia: Oh right, Alicia.
Cary: Yeah, look, I know we should be hate each other's throats, but I just wanna say I really respect what you're doing here. Raising a family and then, jumping back into this. My mum, she's thinking of doing the same thing.
Alicia: Great.
Cary: Yeah. So, you're on the pro bono, right?
Alicia: Humhum.
Cary: Yeah, that's great! I interned last summer at the Innocence Project. My dad's best friend is Barry Scheck and it was just amazing: helping people. Here, they got me on the Sheffrin-Marks. I'm sure it will be challenging, but at the end of the day, what have you really done? Saved a corporation of few billion dollars?
Alicia: You wanna trade?
Cary: I would, but I guess they have other plans, so...
(An assistant arrives in the hall with some field)
An assistant: I'm almost done, Cary. The last one is on your desk.
Cary: Thank you.
The assistant: Hi, Mrs. Florrick.
Cary: Looks like we share an assistant, so tell me when I'm hogging her, ok? And let the best men win!
Alicia: Excuse me?
Cary: Let the...nothing! It's nothing. I...It's nothing!
[In Alicia's office]
Alicia: Oops...
(There is someone in her office)
Kalinda: Don't worry. It's yours!
Alicia: Oh!
Kalinda: Kalinda Sharma. I'm the in-house.
Alicia: Oh, the investigator.
Kalinda: You're Peter Florrick's wife.
Alicia: That's right!
Kalinda: I worked with him at the State's attorney's office three years. He fired me.
Alicia: Ok.
Kalinda: So what do you know?
Alicia: The client is a second-grade school teacher, Jennifer.
Kalinda: Lewis.
Alicia: Arrested for killing her ex-husband.
Kalinda: Making it look like a botched carjacking. Gunshot residue was found on Jennifer's face and hands. (They walked outside the office) That's why the cops started to think it was a murder disguised as a carjacking. According to them, Jennifer shot her ex-husband and wiped down the gun.
Alicia: And the motive?
Kalinda: He remarried and wanted custody of the 3 years-old. Witnesses saw them arguing a week before the murder.
(In an elevator - Alicia's phone rings)
Rings: hey, mom, pick up the phone. Hey, mom, pick up the phone.
Alicia: Sorry, it's my daughter.
(On the phone)
Alicia: Hi, Grace.
Grace: Hey, mom. I want to ask you a question, but I don't want you to freak out, ok?
Alicia: Oh, oh.
Grace: Forget it! I'll ask Zach.
Alicia: No, no! What?
(See Grace on the phone)
Grace: All right, well, some girl said that slept with a hooker my age. And I just...
(Alicia is in the hall at the Court)
Alicia: What?
A guardian: Madam, you'll have to turn that off.
Grace: They were playing the tape in the computer lab, and some girls said her dad's a cop and he said one of the hookers was a teenager.
Alicia: Ok, first of all, they were all over 20 and second, where is the teacher?
Grace: It's no big deal, mom. Look I've got homework. I'll talk to you later.
(Alicia arrives in front of the door)
Kalinda: What?
Alicia: Last time, I was in court was 13 years ago.
Kalinda: Wow, I was 12.
Alicia: Thanks!
[In the court]
A voice: The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a check, handing it to the plaintiff. I'm returning 5 grand and we're going to decide this. It's Florrick's wife. Alicia? My god. Matan, from the department Christmas party. You're at Stern, Lockhart & Gardner?
Alicia: Yeah, first day.
Matan: Oh, this is Sandra Pai. She's new since Peter. How is he doing by the way?
Alicia: Peter? Fine!
Matan: Say hello for me, will you? Look at all this. You're gonna to bury us. I don't know how you do it, Alicia. I'd be huddled up in a ball somewhere. Well, back to work.
(The judge arrives)
Matan: Good luck.
(Jennifer, the client, arrives)
Jennifer: Where's Diane?
Alicia: Diane asks me to step in for her. Jennifer, I'm Alicia Florrick. I'm one of the other layers with the firm.
Jennifer: Step in? For how long?
Alicia: For the retrial.
Jennifer: Oh my god!
A voice: All right, man. The Criminal Court of Cook County is now in session, the honorable judge Richard Cuesta presiding.
The judge: Be seated! Ok, let's hear it!
Alicia: Your honor, I just...
Matan: Your Honor, just to refresh your memory, the accused was deemed a flight risk due to an earlier custody hearing in which she threatened to run off with her daughter.
The judge: And yet just last week a jury deadlocked on these murder charges six to six, Mr.Brody. Now, I know our new state's attorney wants to look tough, but why are you fighting this?
Alicia: Your Honor, I just wanted to...
Matan: The people are prepared to retry this case right now, your Honor. If Mrs.Florrick is so intent on getting her client out, why doesn't she agree to a speedy trial?
The judge: Mrs. Florrick?
Alicia: Yes, your Honor.
The judge: The wife of the esteem Peter Florrick? You husband and I never quite saw eye to eye, madam.
Alicia: Your Honor.
The judge: Mrs.Florrick, don't talk! But if the prosecution thinks that this will in some way prejudice me against your client, he is sorely mistaken. Nice try, Matan. So Mrs. Lewis is granted pretrial release with an electronic monitoring. She is restricted to temporary housing attorney's offices, and transit in between. And given that this is rerun, I'll set the trial date for the 25th. Now, are we all happy? Good!
Jennifer: Thank you!
Alicia: Sure.
(Lockhart's office - meeting between Jennifer, Alicia and Kalinda)
Jennifer: We had a nice time. Michael talked about missing his daughter; the life we had together. We were driving home and uh... We got a flat. He was getting out to fix it, and I saw...a red pickup truck. A man came up to Michael. I didn't see the gun until.
(Flashbacks of the moment - we see Jennifer screaming)
Jennifer: Michael!
(In the office)
Jennifer: And I saw Michael's face. It was, um...
Alicia: Do you need to take a break?
Jennifer: No, just...if there is some water.
Alicia: Sure.
(Alicia leaves - Kalinda and Jennifer stay in the office)
(Alicia speaks to her assistant)
Alicia: Sonia, we need some water in here.
Sonia: It's going to be about 5 minutes, but then I've got to do in his depot upstairs.
Alicia: Ok, uh, tell me when you're done.
(In the office with Kalinda & Jennifer)
Kalinda: You stay this man ran to a red pickup truck here, and took off in this direction across the parking lot. There is a surveillance camera here. And the prosecution played it to make you look like a liar.
Jennifer: I'm not lying.
(Alicia is coming)
Kalinda: But there is no truck on the tape, and that's why you're facing retrial how and not an acquittal.
Alicia: I think what Kalinda is trying to say, Jennifer is, is it possible that you were mistaken and that the car went this way...not that way? Is that your daughter?
Jennifer: They won't let me see her. Michael's parents have custody. What am I gonna do?
Alicia: You're gonna take one day at a time. We got your housing. You're going to go there, take a shower, take a nap. Don't turn on the TV. You like reading? I'm going to get you some books. Fiction is best. You won't feel like it, but put on nice clothes and makeup. Force yourself to. Not for court, for you. Is the superficial things that matter most right now.
Jennifer: Does it ever get easier?
Alicia: No! But you do get better at it.
(In front of the elevator - discussion between Alicia and Kalinda)
Alicia: What?
Kalinda: You identify with too many clients, you burn out!
Alicia: Why don't you tell me when I do something right, ok?
Kalinda: Sure. You go and interview the jurors and I'll try to figure out how a surveillance camera can lie.
[In a hospital]
(Alicia is asking some questions to a woman, one member of the jury)
A woman: That's right. I was the jury foreman.
Alicia: And you don't mind answering a few questions for us, doctor? It helps us refine the case for the retrial.
A woman: No problem. I don't think you'll need much refining. Your case was very strong, very logical. In fact, I'm not even sure the other side went to trial. I voted for conviction right from the start.
Alicia: Good. You mean acquittal?
A woman: No, conviction.
Alicia: But I'm with the defense.
A woman: Oh.
(The woman leaves)
[In a school]
(Alicia is talking to a man, one member of the jury)
The man: She was lying about the pickup truck. She had the gunshot residue on her hands.
Alicia: Can I ask you how many voted for conviction from the start, sir?
The man: Eleven.
Alicia: What?
The men: There was only one holdout: Juror number 9. We argued with her for 3 days.
Alicia: But the judge polled the jury and they deadlocked 6 to 6.
The men: Yes, well, the judge would only declare us deadlocked if we were evenly split. So some of us agreed to change our vote to not guilty just to get out of there! If it hadn't been for juror number 9, we would have convicted. She didn't convince us. She exhausted us.
[In a house]
(Alicia is speaking to Mrs. Duretsky, juror number 9)
Alicia: No tea for me, Mrs. Duretsky.
Mrs.Duretsky: Suit yourself.
Alicia: So the other jurors said you were a holdout. Is that correct?
Mrs.Duretsky: Mm-hmm. They all thought they were so much smarter than me. My vote counted just as much as theirs.
Alicia: Uh-uh. What exactly in the defense's case convinced you?
Mrs.Duretsky: Well, the whole thing, really. I tend to look at a person and size them up pretty quickly. That lady, I liked her.
Alicia: The defendant, Jennifer?
Mrs.Duretsky: No, that lawyer lady. She never puts on airs. I like that!
Alicia: Just so I'm clear: the defense expert argued that the gunshot residue on Jennifer's hands came from the struggle. Is that why you held out?
Mrs.Duretsky: Oh, I don't know about that! I just tend to get a feeling. Don't I, Cyrus!
[In Alicia's car]
(The phone rings - conversation between Alicia and Jackie)
Alicia: Hi, Jackie. What's wrong?
Jackie: Nothing's wrong. I was going through the laundry and I think some of Grace's school clothes you would find inappropriate.
Alicia: We just moved away. Grace has left all her friends. I need you to go easier on her.
Jackie: All I said was I could take her shopping and help her find pants that would make her look slimmer.
Alicia: She's at the perfectly healthy weight. I don't want her to have body image issues.
Jackie: She'll only have body image issues if she keeps gaining weight.
(Will knocks on the car)
Will: Alicia.
(Alicia to Jackie)
Alicia: We'll talk about this when I get home later, ok?
Jackie: All right!
Alicia: Bye.
(Alicia and Will are walking in the parking lot)
Alicia: You know the new associate, Cary?
Will: The one in the Brioni? What? I'm an observant.
Alicia: Yes, the one in the Brioni. He said to me "may the best man win". What exactly does he mean by that?
Will: What he means is something I thought we weren't making public.
Alicia: What?
Will: Look, we only have one associate position open. So we agreed to hire 2 applicants, and in 6 months, decide which one to retain.
Alicia: So this is a contest between me and Cary?
Will: It was either that or a cage match. I'm just happy your pro bono is going well.
[In prison]
The guardian: Visiting hours are almost over.
(Alicia calls on Peter)
Peter: They said a visitor. I thought mum.
Alicia: I've been busy.
Peter: It's good to see you.
Alicia: I need you to sign some things.
Peter: Ok.
Alicia: We didn't get everything we wanted on the house. It's a bad market to sell!
Peter: I see that!
Alicia: We used most of it for your court costs. The rent will come out of my salary and the kids are going to have to stay in public school.
Peter: How are they? Mother says that she's helping out around the house.
Alicia: They're good. Grace argues over clothes with your mother, and Zach is using you to make friends at school which I don't know is that's a healthy thing or something worse.
Peter: Using me?
Alicia: "Funny or die" has a skit about you. It's cool, I guess. Oh...here.
Peter: Alicia, I know this has been hard on you, but you've to believe me. I'm innocent of the abuse of office charges.
Alicia: You think I give a damn about that, Peter? They were playing a tape in Grace's computer lab of you sucking the toes of a hooker. You think I care about the small print in your employment contract?
Peter: Come on, I was set up. The state attorneys...
Alicia: Come on! I don't wanna talk! I'm not gonna fight. I didn't come here to fight!
Peter: Mum says you're on a case. Congratulations! The fake carjacking, right? Who's the judge?
Alicia: Richard Cuesta.
Peter: You're kidding! He hates me.
Alicia: I know.
A voice: Visiting hours are now over.
Peter: You know there was something weird about the case, don't you? The Lewis' case? There was a rumor going around that something got buried, pitted.
Alicia: What?
Peter: Evidence or testimony.
Alicia: I should go.
Peter: Hey, listen. Thanks for playing the breadwinner for a while. It's not gonna last forever. Lawyers think that the appellate court is going to hear my case. If they overturn it, everything goes back to normal.
Alicia: Peter, it's never going back to normal.
[In a car]
(Alicia and Kalinda are talking)
Alicia: As soon as the cops found gunshot residue on Jennifer's hands, they had their suspect. So what if they pitted everything else?
Kalinda: And what if they didn't? Arguments are cheap. What's that?
Alicia: Page 1 of the crime lab summary. Look at the top of the corner.
Kalinda: Looks like a staple.
Alicia: It is a staple.
Kalinda: And that's odd because...
Alicia: There's no page 2. Why do they need to staple if there is no page 2?
Kalinda: You think the cops kept something out the discovery that pointed to another suspect?
Alicia: Well, I think either they did or it would be helpful in court to imply that they did.
Kalinda: 2 days away from trial and you're thinking of dropping the old strategy?
Alicia: Diane barely convinced a cat lady to acquit.
Kalinda: So, a pickup truck is seen racing through a well-lit, empty parking lot. How's a truck missed by that surveillance camera?
Alicia: Mismarked surveillance tape.
Kalinda: Yeah.
Alicia: What are you doing?
Kalinda: Working. These are better than subpoenas.
[In a firm]
(Kalinda and Alicia ask some questions to a guy working in the firm near the place where the murder happened)
Kalinda: We just need to see how the surveillance system works, and we'll be out of your hair in 5 minutes.
A guy: 5 minutes?
Kalinda: Uh-uh.
A guy: Ok, it's down here.
Alicia: Why did my husband fire you?
Kalinda: He accused me of working 2 jobs.
Alicia: Were you?
Kalinda: Oh, yeah!
A guy: The computer automatically records the surveillance, marks it with date and time.
Kalinda: Is that the night of the murder?
A guy: Yeah. I mean even if the computer did mismark it, I make an hourly tour of the lot, and I didn't see a pickup truck. Look that's me! 11:03 just before the murder.
Kalinda: Can we have copies of these?
(The guy calls his assistant)
A guy: Sure. Lanie, Lanie!
Lanie : what ?
A guy : give me some disks.
Lanie: All right!
(Alicia to Lanie)
Alicia: Your machine spit out an extra one. Would you like it? Oh, beautiful children.
Lanie: 2 kids, 2 grandkids.
A guy: Lanie, how about those disks?
Alicia: Is he always so charming?
Lanie: He's just a lazy mall cops, he spends all the day surfing p0rn, and with night shift, he can't get his skinny ass out of his chair. I'm always waking him up in the morning.
Alicia: Oh, men!
[Alicia's house]
Jackie: I talked to Peter. He said you dropped by.
Alicia: I did.
Jackie: I'm glad. He's hurting in there. He's very brave but he's hurting. He needs you to forgive him, Alicia.
Alicia: Jackie, I spent 15 years doing his laundry, cleaning his house, never asking a single question because I didn't think I had to. And he took everything I thought we had and he just put it out there for everyone.
Jackie: He didn't want that! The press...
Alicia: Oh, Jackie! Stop it, please! Peter wasn't thinking of us.
Jackie: It takes time Alicia. Give it time.
Alicia: Any time I have right now is for them.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Grace's room]
Grace: I want her dead.
Alicia: Me too, just not quite yet.
Grace: So why can't Zach and I just watch ourselves?
Alicia: Honey, she's only here a couple of hours a day.
Grace: A couple very damaging hours.
Alicia: You'll heal, and change her ringtone.
[In the court]
(Matan questions a witness, Cindy Lewis)
Matan: Please state your name.
Cindy: Cindy Lewis.
Matan: And you were married to the victim for how long, Mrs. Lewis?
Cindy: 2 years until...Thank you.
Matan: And how would you describe your husband's relationship with his first wife?
Cindy: Well, most of the time it was fine, friendly even, but after the last custody hearing; Michael was pretty worried about Jennifer...
Alicia: Objection, your Honor!
Judge: On what grounds?
Alicia: Hearsay.
Judge: Nice try, Mrs. Florrick. I'll allow. Go ahead, Mrs. Lewis.
Cindy: He was worried Jennifer was intent on getting sole custody.
Matan: Thank you, Mrs. Lewis. Your witness.
Alicia: Now, Mrs. Lewis, you stated that Michael was worried about Jennifer, yet in the week following...
Matan: Objection, your Honor.
Judge: Sustained.
Alicia: In your testimony, Mrs. Lewis, you claimed that Jennifer wanted sole custody, but isn't it true...
Matan: Objection.
Judge: sustained. Keep trying Mrs. Florrick. You'll hit on it!
Alicia: Mrs. Lewis, whose idea was it to have dinner, Jennifer or Michael's?
Cindy: Michael's.
Alicia: So wouldn't that suggest that his attitude had changed.
Matan: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Alicia: Thank you.
(Sandra Pai & Alicia question a new witness, Detective Briggs)
Sandra Pai: Now, Detective Briggs, the defense has referred to 3 unsolved carjacking in the neighborhood at that time. Are you aware of this?
Briggs: I am.
Sandra Pai: So why didn't you consider this incident to be another in that series of carjacking?
Briggs: First of all, they were all luxury cars: 1 Lexus and 2 BMWs. The victim in this crime was driving a 2001 Honda, and there was no clip on the fuel line.
Sandra Pai: This is what the carjackers did to force the luxury cars over.
Briggs: That's right.
Sandra Pai: but in the case of the Honda, the victim pulled over because he had a flat.
Briggs: Yes, man. There was a nail driven into the front driver tire.
Sandra Pai: I see. Now, why is this something a carjacker would never do, Detective?
Briggs: It would defeat the purpose. I mean, how do you steal a car with a flat?
Sandra Pai: Your witness.
(Jennifer to Alicia)
Jennifer: It's not going well, is it?
Alicia: It's early.
Judge: Mrs. Florrick?
(Alicia to the witness)
Alicia: Detective Briggs, what is "the pit"?
Briggs: Excuse me?
Alicia: In police circles, what is "the pit"?
Matan: Objection, Your Honor.
Judge: On what grounds?
Matan: On the grounds that...relevance.
Judge: Well, let us see how relevant this becomes, shall we? Detective?
Briggs: The pit...the pit is police slang for evidence thought irrelevant at a crime scene.
Alicia: So when an officer's referring to dropping something in "the pit" or "pitting" it, he refers to what?
Briggs: Excluding it from the crime scene narrative. But that only applies to irrelevant details. We wouldn't exclude pertinent evidence.
Alicia: Was anything pitted from the Lewis' crime...
Matan: Your Honor, objection!
[In the judge's office]
Matan: Evidence is logged in all the time that proves irrelevant to the discovery. It's not intent to deceive. It's intent...
Sandra Pai: We don't even know if it is anything.
Matan: And to blame the prosecution for not coming up with every ...single possible detail.
Sandra Pai: She's trying to build...
Judge: Ok, ok, Mrs. Florrick. None of this was in the first trial. Is it your intention to pursue a new defense?
Alicia: Yes, Your Honor.
Matan: Counsel's trying to mislead the jury. She's implying there was police corruption.
Judge: Oh, shut up, Matan! Is she right? That's the question! Did you bury something?
Matan: We all know what's going on here. Peter Florrick was a corrupt and convicted state's attorney. If evidence was buried, he buried it! And now, she's benefiting from his knowledge.
Judge: ...which still leaves you with some pages missing here. I'll give you until Monday to produce them, along with any evidence they reference. Then, I'll rule on admissibility. And you, Mrs. Florrick, I'm not sure if you're being fed this stuff or you're doing it on your own, but if it's the former, you're walking a very narrow ethical line here. You understand that?
Alicia: Yes, Your Honor.
[Diane's office]
Diane: The directive was simple: follow the strategy of the first trial. Instead, you're pushing for evidence that might not even help your case.
Alicia: I interviewed the first jury, and they voted 11 to one to convict.
Diane: Excuse me. That's not even true! It was evenly split.
Alicia: No! Half the jurors switched their votes when they couldn't get a troubled juror to deliberate. So, I used my judgment to change strategies.
Diane: And was it your judgment not to update us?
(Alicia leaves - Conversation between Will and Diane in her office)
Diane: She's a junior associate who doesn't think she's a junior associate! Her husband was a state's attorney. She lived in Highland Park. It's not just teaching an old dog new trick. It's teaching entitled dog new tricks.
Will: Oh, come on Diane. The problem is she's catching evidence that you overlooked. I've seen you mentor these women until they start competing with you and then...
Diane: What? Excuse me? I say we're reprimand Alicia and put Cary in as first chair.
[Alicia's office]
Jennifer: Thank you. (phone rings) That's her, isn't it?
Alicia: Sonia, can you...(Alicia picks up the phone) Alicia Florrick's office. One moment, please. Jennifer pick up.
Jennifer: Hello? Hi, baby. I miss you so much.
(Kalinda and Alicia walk in the street)
Kalinda: Alicia. It's dog hair: the pitted evidence. I talked to a friend at the crime lab, gave me a preview of the evidence.
Alicia: A preview?
Kalinda: It's dog hair found on the victim's clothes. Cops pitted it because they found dog hair at Michael's residence and thought it was the same.
Alicia: It's not?
Kalinda: It's from an Italian greyhound. Neither Michael nor Jennifer had greyhounds. There's also a chemical on the hair: Alco Ectolin, a lotion for muscle and joint paint.
Alicia: That's the chemical number?
Kalinda: No, his cell number. I agreed to drink.
Alicia: So we're looking for an arthritic greyhound owner.
Kalinda: We? I hear you're being bumped to second chair.
Alicia: When?
Kalinda: End of tomorrow. Cary's being transitioned in and he'll go back to the first trial strategy.
Alicia: Wow.
[Alicia's living room]
TV: It's not a good year for him. The all-star point guard is currently suing his ex-girlfriend for damages, hoping the judge can finally determine whether this case was fact or fantasy. You know her simply as "Amber", the young woman who brought down bad boy Chicago State's attorney Peter Florrick. Though she says he wants to leave the scandal far behind, celebrity call girl Amber Madison has decided to write a memoir about her time with Florrick. In this exclusive interview with Inside Edition...
(Alicia turns off the TV - Jackie arrives)
Jackie: Do you really have to work?
Alicia: Yes, 10 more minutes. Zach, I need your computer.
Zach: Mum, I just raised my wanted level.
Alicia: Yeah, I'm happy for you honey.
Jackie: When Peter's father was on the Illinois' court, he never brought a single case home, not once!
Alicia: He was judge, Jackie. I'm a junior associate. Zach?! (Zach arrives) I need you to play these 2 computer disks side by side. Can you set my computer next to yours? How's your sister? She still fighting with Grandma?
[In Zach's room]
Zach: What is it?
Alicia: It's video the night of the murder.
Zach: Like Faces of Death? Mum, I've seen worse.
Alicia: You're adorable!
Zach: I'm not!
Alicia: Yes, you're! Zach, freeze it!
Zach: What? What is it?
Alicia: It's proof!
[In the court - new witness, Mr. North, the guy from the company]
Matan: This is at 11:03, the night of the murder, Mr. North, and...that's you, making your hourly circuit of the lot, correct?
North: Yes, that's correct!
Matan: And you saw, no pickup truck, no carjacker racing past, nothing the defendant claims she saw.
North: That's correct.
Matan: Thank you. Nothing further, Your Honor.
Judge: Mrs. Florrick.
Alicia: Can we have the monitor in, please? Thank you.
(In the public - Will and Kalinda)
Will: State's attorney is here.
Alicia: Now, Mr. North...
Kalinda (to Will): they're worried she's getting the stuff from her husband.
Alicia: Here all 3 images. The middle is the image of the surveillance from the 15th, the night of the murder, and the one over there on the left is the image from the 14th, the night before the murder, and the one on the right is from the 16th, the night after the murder. Can you see the dates on those?
North: Yes, I can.
Alicia: So, as you said before, there you are the night of the murder at 11:03, making your circuit of the lot. And there you're the night before the murder and the night after, doing the same thing. It must get old!
North: No, man. My job doesn't pay as much as yours, but I still love it.
Alicia: Ok, good. Now, Mr. North, let's fast forward, shall we? 45 minutes, the night of the murder and there... What do you see?
North: Nothing.
Alicia: No? It's right there...maybe you need to move in a little closer.
North: Oh, it's a shopping bag; it looks like a shopping bag.
Alicia: Actually, it is. It's a plastic shopping bag. It was a very windy night that night, and it blew across the lot at 11:48
Matan: Your Honor, objection! What does this have to do with anything?
Judge: Beats me. But I'm interested, aren't you, Mr. Brody? Overruled.
Alicia: Ok, so let's fast-forward the other 2 monitors, the night before the murder and the night after the murder to the same time code. There is the 14th and the 16th. What do you see?
North: Um...I don't know.
Alicia: I think you do know, sir. Either you have a plastic bag that blows across your lot every night at 11:48, or these are duplicates of the same tape.
North: No, it...it's not...what it looks like.
Alicia: I understand, sir. You didn't willfully mislead the police.
North: Yeah, that's correct!
Alicia: No, it's just that it gets cold out there, and sometimes you don't make the circuit of the lot.
North: Yes.
Alicia: On the nights, you don't go out, you don't record the actual surveillance image, you set your computer up to duplicate the night before, just in case your manager checks in, is that correct?
North: Yes.
Alicia: So just I'm clear, there is no recording the night of the murder, and you were never there to see or not see the pickup truck or the carjacker.
North: I'm sorry. Uh, yes.
Alicia: No further questions.
[Alicia's office - Discussion between Alicia & Will]
Will: So, you're wondering whether demolishing the key prosecution witness didn't just save your ass as first chair...nice work, by the way...
Alicia: Thanks.
Will:...but was enough for reasonable doubt. You know what hurts you?
Alicia: Nail in the tire.
Will: Yep...and the old Honda. It just doesn't feel like a carjacking. It feels like a murder made to look like a carjacking.
Alicia: What if I don't fight it?
Will: What, agree that it was just a murder? Then, the jury needs a suspect.
Alicia: It's late.
Will: It's like old times. Evidentiary procedure; the mock trial.
Alicia: You remember that?
Will: How could I forget? Did we lose that one?
Alicia: Yeah!
(Alicia's assistant arrives)
Assistant: Hi, hi, Mrs. Florrick, I just want to say congratulations. I heard you did well in court.
Alicia: Thanks, Sonia.
(Sonia leaves)
Alicia: Heading out?
Will: Yeah, I got a breakfast meeting with clients. What?
Alicia: Something just doesn't seem right. Michael has dinner with his first wife.
Will: Right.
Alicia: He tells Jennifer he misses her, he missed their old life together.
Will: Right.
Alicia: What does Cindy think about it?
Will: The second wife? Cindy thinks some unhappy thoughts.
Alicia: Jury like her.
Will: Get them not to.
[In the hall's court]
Alicia: What did you get on Cindy's brother?
Kalinda: These are his employment records.
Alicia: Good. What about the lab report?
Kalinda: Here. But they're gonna object the whole way. You'll need to just string together some implications...
(State's attorney arrives in the direction of Alicia & Kalinda)
Childs: Mrs. Florrick, you've a moment?
(Kalinda leaves)
Childs: I don't think we've ever met before, Glenn Childs.
Alicia: We've met!
Childs: You know he's using you, don't you? Peter blames me for his downfall. He's using you to get to me.
Alicia: How do you figure?
Childs: Mrs. Florrick, please. He told you about the pitted trace evidence. Don't make yourself collateral damage here, for your own sake.
Alicia: Mr. Childs, the day you leaked that s*x tape to the press and forced me to shield my children from every cable news station that played it in a 24-hour rotation, that was the day I became collateral damage. If you're worried about my husband, Mr. Childs, you obviously never made a woman angry before. Good luck in court.
[In court - witness, Cindy Lewis]
Alicia: Mrs. Lewis did you and the deceased sign a prenuptial agreement?
Cindy: Yes, for tax purposes.
Alicia: So if the deceased were to divorce you, let's say, in order to reunite with his first wife.
Matan: Objection.
Judge: Sustained.
Alicia: If the deceased were to divorce you, you would be cut off from his premarital savings, is that correct?
Matan: Objection, relevance!
Judge: Sustained. Move it along, Mrs. Florrick.
Alicia: Mrs. Lewis, you stated in your testimony that you were in Miami at the time of the shooting visiting family, so the police never suspected or questioned you.
Cindy: Of the murder? No, of course not!
Alicia: What about your brother?
Matan: Objection, Your Honor, come on, this whole line of questioning is a smokescreen.
Judge: Mr. Brody, why don't we wait for a whiff of smoke before we call it a screen, please? I'll allow.
Alicia: The police never questioned your brother, isn't that correct, Mrs. Lewis?
Cindy: They had no reason to.
Alicia: Because he lived in Miami?
Cindy: Because Danny has nothing to do with this.
Alicia: Mrs. Lewis, the judge has admitted into evidence the buried...Strike that...the previously unreleased trace evidence. He has also admitted into evidence the crime lab's finding that these greyhound hairs were covered in a chemical compound called Alco Ectolin. Have you heard of this?
Cindy: Sorry, the chemical? No.
Alicia: No, neither had I. It is a lotion. It is a lotion that is used at dog racing tracks to ease...
Matan: Objection, not in evidence.
Judge: Sustained, and you might want to stay standing, Mr. Brody. I've a feeling we're nearing your smokescreen.
Alicia: Mrs. Lewis, isn't it a fact that a year ago at the time of the murder, your brother worked at a dog track?
Matan: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Alicia: No further questions.
[In a bar - Alicia & Kalinda are talking]
Alicia: You're not just making this up?
Kalinda: Come on, it's a Stern, Lockhart tradition: your first jury trial...shot of tequila. Let's go!
Alicia: Ok.
Kalinda: Yeah, I just made that up! Sounded good, though, didn't it?
Alicia: How long do you think they'll stay out?
Kalinda: Oh, I stopped guessing about juries a while ago. How long were they out with your husband?
Alicia: 6 hours.
Kalinda: Yeah? You know what I don't get? Why you stood by him. I would have stuck a knife in his heart.
Alicia: I always thought I would too. When I heard about those other scandals, the other wives...I thought...how can you allow yourself to be used like that? And then it happened, and I was...unprepared. (Phone rings) Hello? Yes, thanks.
Kalinda: Jury's in?
[Judge's office]
Judge: Well, Mrs. Florrick, Chicago homicide has decided to reopen its investigation into the murder of Michael Lewis. Detective Briggs, doing an admirable amount of due diligence, has confirmed that Cindy Lewis' brother Danny had access to his employer's pickup truck the week of the murder. And the dog hairs admitted into evidence match those found at his workplace. So our state's attorney, in his radiant wisdom, has decided to withdraw the charges against your client and pursue a case against Mrs. Lewis' brother. Isn't that right, Mr. Brody? All I need is a yes or no.
Matan: Yes.
Judge: Good! Then, we're done here.
[In the hall of the court]
Jennifer: Thank you, thank you so much.
[In Lockhart's office - Alicia's phone rings]
Alicia: Hi, Jackie. No, it just went a little late, that's all.
Jackie: I made a pot roast, and I was wondering if you were coming home for dinner. What? What did I say?
Alicia: Nothing, it's just that's what I always used to say to Peter.
Jackie: Are you there?
Alicia: Yeah, yeah, I just need to pick up a few things, and I'll be home soon.
Jackie: All right.
Alicia: Jackie, I don't know if I've said this, but thank you for stepping up.
Jackie: Of course, I would...why wouldn't I?
Alicia: I'll see you soon.
Jackie: All right, then, bye.
[In Alicia's office - Will arrives]
Will: Oh, hey, sorry, I didn't know you were here.
Alicia: Hi.
Will: It's just a little office token. You did great!
Alicia: Thanks. I did, didn't I?
Will: Oh, one more thing.
Alicia: Yes, sir?
Will: You've been made my second chair in the civil case. I'll see you tomorrow at 9:30, staff meeting.
Alicia: I'll be there.
(Alicia listens to a message on her voicemail)
Peter: Hey, it's me. I'm sorry, you must be in bed, but I just wanted to tell you, the appellate court agreed to hear my case. I still can't believe it! The lawyers think we have a really good shot at overturning this and they're gonna make an official statement tomorrow. But, uh, I just wanted to tell you first. I'll see you soon. I love you


Michael: Hup! [throws cheese puff to Ryan who catches it in his mouth]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Things are a little slow here. And there's only so much cold-calling you can do in a day. Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs you can throw at someone's face.
Michael: Hup! [throws cheese puff to Pam who catches it in her mouth]
Pam: We're getting pretty good at it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Pam and Ryan throw cheese puffs to Michael, Ryan and Michael throw cheese puffs at each other, Michael throws a cheese puff over his shoulder to Ryan, all three throw cheese puffs to one another, give high-fives]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Pam yawns, two cheese puffs thrown at her, one sticks in her hair]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela, but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... several years. Wait, no, that can't be right.
Pam: The timeline's messy.
Jim: Anyway, now we are going bargain hunting in the haunted graveyard of their love.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: This is my solo. [stereo plays Andy imitating bass guitar, a cappella starts singing 'You Can Call Me Al']
Pam: I'm confused. Am I walking down the aisle to 'You Can Call Me Al?'
Andy: Trust me. You will not be walking. You will be boogie-ing.
Jim: I am extremely interested. So, how much will all of this cost?
Andy: Well, 12 guys, airfare, three nights in a hotel, food per diem, table up front for merch... $9,000.
Pam: I don't know. It seems like a lot for an a cappella group from a college we never went to.
Andy: Did you even hear the music I just played for you?
Pam: Mm-hmm.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Phyllis: What's wrong with you?
Dwight: These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. Not enough blood getting to my hands.
Phyllis: I think you look nice.
Dwight: Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence.
Charles: Looking good.
Dwight: 'Kay, thank you. It's a straight jacket! [knocks things off shelf with arms] Okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. There was just a lot going on, so what you wore to work was the least of anybody's worries. And in that chaos, I soared.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Hey.
Dwight: Hey. Ed's Tires is thinking of making a change.
Michael: [gestures to 'Bed & Breakfast' magazine] Is this good?
Dwight: They have some great kitchen ideas.
Michael: Oh. Okay. Ed's Tires, huh?
Dwight: It's small, I know.
Michael: I really appreciate it.
Dwight: Thanks, Michael. [Michael palms Dwight cash in their handshake] Wait, what is this?
Michael: It's for your trouble.
Dwight: Wh- I don't need $6 to help a friend.
Michael: No, no, listen, as a friend, I want you to have this.
Dwight: Michael, you know I can't take this.
Michael: Yes, I do.
Dwight: But don't forget you owe me $10.
Michael: That was four years ago. Why don't you let it go?
Dwight: Michael.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: What was up with Pam being all pushy and negative in there?
Jim: I think she just didn't want a crucifix cake.
Andy: It scares me to see you going down a road that I went down.
Jim: Am I going down a road?
Andy: When I see her bossing you around like that, it just makes me wonder if this thing really has the legs to go the distance.
Jim: It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: I was going to use today to purge my inbox, but now something much more pressing has come up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Ed's Tires. Why don't you tell them that we have fewer clients, so we can spend more time with each of them. Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.
Pam: I'm not gonna do that.
Michael: That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan?
Ryan: I can get there.
Michael: Good, you take the lead on this one. Also, do not forget that he has just gone through a messy divorce.
Ryan: Oh, awesome.
Michael: Bring it in. Morning cheer. [clears throat]
Michael, Pam & Ryan: U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi! You ugly, huh huh, you ugly! You mama says you ugly! Hey! Go Michael Scott Paper Company!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: I'm here. I'm a part of this now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: You needed to speak to me?
Charles: Dwight, take a seat.
Dwight: I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.
Charles: Nah, that's weird. You're gonna sit. [Dwight sits] Great. You know, Dwight, it has been quite a transition for all of us. Are you happy with the way things have been runnin' lately?
Dwight: Do you mean compared to the ways things ran with other bosses? Comparisons are hard.
Charles: I've just been impressed with your performance and I wanted to make sure good work doesn't go unnoticed.
Dwight: Your concern is noted.
Charles: Yeah, I like your work ethic. You're so... focused.
Dwight: Like a wolf. Thank you.
Charles: And I wanna start givin' you more responsibility. What do you say you and I go out for a drink this week?
Dwight: Really?
Charles: Definitely.
Dwight: [sighs] It's firm.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [on phone] I need you to get me the prices that you're charging Ed's tires so I can undercut Dunder Mifflin.
Dwight: I don't know that I can do that now. You know, uh, something's come up.
Michael: Oh n- Is it Mose? Did you put the cover on that well?
Dwight: No, Mose is fine. I roped it off. It's not about Mose. Listen, things are changing here, Michael, they're changing fast.
Michael: I'm not following you.
Dwight: Imagine... Someone has a personal hero they really wanna help. But then there's this new guy. Very cool, very Will Smith-esque, who would not like it if he helped his hero.
Michael: Personal hero, cool new guy. Okay, I think I'm getting your drift.
Dwight: Good, do you see what I'm saying?
Michael: Crystal clear. So is this for a movie that you're writing?
Dwight: No.
Michael: Can I use it? [Pam holds up note saying "He's talking about you!"]
Dwight: No.
Michael: [Michael dismisses note, Ryan and Pam point to notepad] Dwight, are you talking about us?
Dwight: It is possible that I could be talking about us.
Michael: Someone could say that it is like the situation that we are in now?
Dwight: It is the situation that we are in now.
Michael: So I would say that the old boss has always been good to Dwight, and he was there first, so he has dibs. You respect dibs, don't you?
Dwight: I'm not a barbarian.
Michael: Good. Will you meet me in 20 minutes at the spot?
Dwight: I will.
Michael: Dwight?
Dwight: Yes?
Michael: Is the cool new guy Charles?
Dwight: I've said too much.
Michael: Is it Stanley?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Hey, Andy. You know I've been thinkin about what you said-
Andy: 'Noishe.'
Jim: -I just don't know if I can do it.
Andy: That's interesting, because I hear what you're saying is that you want to do it, which means you can do it. Believe me, I broke up with Angela, and I'm like, the happiest guy ever. I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Like, total freedom, you know?
Jim: It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? I really rely on her. I'm pretty emotionally needy.
Andy: And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants. [imitates punching on Jim's fist] Ah, what'd you do that for?
Jim: [both laugh] You know that I was doin' this.
Andy: [fist pound each other] Totally.
Jim: Okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Hello, Dwight. What's with the shirt? Are you alright?
Dwight: I'm sorry, Michael
Charles: [Charles comes from around corner] Hi, Michael.
Michael: Oh my God! Run! Run! It's a setup. Setup!
Charles: No, Mich-Michael.
Michael: Dwight, run!
Charles: Michael, no, let's be cool, ok?
Michael: You be cool.
Charles: Yes.
Michael: Just-what's going on?
Charles: We need to talk about our two companies, and how we should behave. Dwight tells me you've been pestering him for company info.
Michael: Mm-do... Dwight would not-
Charles: He did.
Dwight: I did, Michael. I was upset about the shirt sleeves at first, but now I'm okay with it.
Charles: Michael, I want you to stop pestering my salesmen, and I want you to leave Dunder Mifflin alone. Do you understand?
Michael: I. Understand. Nothing.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [Michael storms into office] Wow.
Pam: Michael, are you alright?
Michael: It was a setup. Dwight told Charles. He told him.
Pam: Tell us what you're talking about.
Ryan: Yeah.
Michael: It's like, a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.
Pam: We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened.
Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, ok? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel? I don't know. Is that clear enough for you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Hey, Jim.
Jim: [Jim slams lunchbag on table] I just totally blew a sales call.
Andy: Bro, I do that all the time.
Jim: Yeah, well, with you it's different, okay? Cause I just- I just suck. I just- I suck!
Andy: Tuna, be nice to my friend Jim, ok?
Jim: Why? When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back.
Andy: Well, so what? Your body's a ten.
Jim: Forget it.
Andy: Jim.
Jim: I said forget it. [drop kicks lunch across room, stomps on it]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [on phone] Dwight Schrute.
Michael: Hello, traitor.
Dwight: I think you have the wrong number, Michael.
Michael: I want you to listen to me, friend, and I want you to listen to me good. I am going to come at you, and I am going to come at you hard. I am going to steal all of your clients, and then I am going to kill them in front of you.
Pam: Michael!
Michael: I'm just getting hardcore with him.
Ryan: Finally.
Michael: Yes, and hear me, Dwight, when I say I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. [hangs up] Bill Cosby.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [on phone] Mr. Schofield, please?
Secretary: He's in a meeting.
Dwight: Dammit! [hangs up]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [on phone] Is Mr. Schofield there?
Automated phone voice: If you'd like to reach an outside line, please dial nine first. [Michael sighs, hangs up phone]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Stanley: So, you think Michael's going after the whale, huh?
Dwight: I have a long term relationship with Harper Collins publishers and Mr. Schofield. I'm not worried.
Phyllis: You sound worried.
Dwight: And you have bad skin. Oh, look everyone, we're all making observations! [gibberish sounds]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [on phone] Well, if you could do me a big favor and tell Mr. Schofield that Michael Scott has tickets to the Wilkes-Barre Penguins game this weekend, and if he would like to join me... Hello, Daniel. How are you? Uh-huh. I sure do. Yes. [referencing rolodex card] Wanted to ask, did Kathy ever make JV?
Ryan: Look at that old dude and his rolodex go.
Pam: I spent a month putting that rolodex on his Blackberry, which he now uses as a nightlight.
Michael: Wow. High score?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: And no, I cannot lower my current prices. [phone rings] Hold on. Hello? Mr. Schofield, thank you so much for taking the time to talk. I wanted to discuss your contract with us- oh, you're considering him. I thought Michael Scott left the paper business after his nervous breakdown.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Michael has been talking to my biggest client. Master and apprentice pitted against one another for the fate of the greater Scranton area paper market. So it's not exactly like 'Highlander,' but still...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Hello, Dwight, I've been expecting your call. What do you want?
Dwight: I would like to arrange a truce.
Michael: So you heard Schofield is considering a switch, and you want mercy?
Dwight: Meet me in our spot in four minutes.
Michael: No. No. You think I am going to fall for that? There's no-
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Meet- Ok, go to the spot and then walk 100 feet.
Dwight: In which direction?
Michael: Toward the sun.
Dwight: At what time?
Michael: Noon.
Dwight: That-
Michael: You have two seconds. [Dwight starts running]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [looking at his watch] Michael. [Madge walks by] Sorry.
Michael: Dwight.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: I hope you're not recording this conversation. [Dwight drops his pants and lifts up his shirt] Good. I cannot believe that you sided with Charles.
Dwight: You were making me do things that were not all right.
Michael: So you just rat me out? You could have said no.
Dwight: And not come through for you?
Michael: If you want a truce, I will give you a truce.
Dwight: I want a truce.
Michael: I do too.
Dwight: Let me take you and your whole company out for lunch at Alfredo's.
Michael: Cooper's.
Dwight: I had fish yesterday.
Michael: Damn it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [Michael, Ryan and Pam sitting at restaurant, phone rings] Oh. Dwight-elicious. Where you at?
Dwight: Oh, hi, Michael. I'm so sorry I'm late. I got stuck in traffic.
Michael: Really? That's weird. We didn't see any.
Dwight: I hit a bear.
Michael: What?
Dwight: He's technically fine. I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo. [throws a fish into the vent at Michael's office] Hey, listen, will you do me a favor and order the meatball parm for me, with extra cheese?
Michael: Yeah, sure.
Dwight: Ok, I will see you very soon, alright? [takes all the items off Michael's desk and puts them into briefcase, including rolodex]
Michael: Okay, see you in a bit. Dwight hit a bear. He'll be here in a sec.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: [Pam, Ryan and Michael enter office] Sounds neat.
Ryan: We can spend a couple days there.
Pam: Oh my God, I think we've been robbed!
Michael: [Michael answers phone] Yeah.
Dwight: Did you enjoy your lunch?
Michael: Dwight, not now, we've been robbed.
Dwight: No, Michael, you were sabotaged.
Michael: No, Dwight, we were robbed. How would you even know? You're still stuck in traffic. [Pam holds up sign saying "Dwight did it!!"] You?
Dwight: Me.
Michael: What about our truce?
Dwight: I broke it.
Michael: On purpose?
Dwight: Yes.
Michael: Why?
Dwight: You think this is some kind of game? No, this is a war, and I will not stop, I will not rest. You have no idea what kind of enemy you've created. You have unleashed the wolf!
Michael: Be that as it may, I have your meatball parm sandwich here, and I am going to eat it.
Dwight: And I knew that you would do that. The meatball parm is their worst sandwich!
Michael: Oh. [bites into sandwich, looks disgusted] b*st*rd!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Hi there. Dwight Schrute here. I was just calling to see if Michael Scott Paper was meeting all of your paper needs, and how is [reading off rolodex card] Brenda, age four, ponytail, and Simon, age 7? Oh, you don't say.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [holding up rolodex card] Schrute comma Dwight. And on the back he wrote, "great salesman, better friend." [turns card over] "Tall" and "beets."
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: And say hello to Cheri, who is your black wife. [hangs up and answers cell phone] I see you're begging for mercy, huh? Well, you will find none here.
Michael: Dwight, do you mind if we talk?
Dwight: Sure. That'd be fine.
Michael: If you keep coming after us, the Michael Scott Paper Company cannot succeed.
Dwight: This is war and that is what happens.
Michael: Oh, one more thing. I'm going to have you listen while I steal your biggest client.
Dwight: Oh, no. No. No. No. No.
Michael: Oh, uh oh, I'm turning you down right now.
Dwight: Michael! Michael!
Michael: You can hear me, but I can't hear you.
Secretary: Mr. Schofield's ready to see you now, Mr. Scott.
Michael: Oh, great. Mr. Schofield's ready to see me. Thank you so much.
Dwight: Don't let him in! He's a traitor! Michael!
Michael: Walking in the door...
Mr. Schofield: Michael, good to see you.
Michael: Mr. Schofield, good to see you. And I'm closing the door. [Dwight runs out of the office]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [on speakerphone in Dwight's car] Now, when Dwight tells you that he will keep prices steady for a year, I think he is speaking out of turn.
Mr. Schofield: Really?
Michael: Yes. He does not have the authority to say that. I, on the other hand, am the president, the owner, and the founder. It is like you are buying software from Bill Gates.
Dwight: Are you saying you invented paper?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: [hugging a crying Jim] Okay, okay.
Jim: Oh, God.
Andy: Okay, Tuna.
Kelly: Hey, guys.
Jim: Hey.
Andy: Hello.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Excuse me, can I have your attention, everyone? Here's the deal, everybody, Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him, maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, ok? It stops now.
Kevin: I guess I could be nicer.
Phyllis: Andy, I think Jim is messing with you.
Andy: Oh, really?
Phyllis: Mm-hmm. [looks over to Jim smiling through windows to the kitchen]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Okay.
Andy: Yeah, okay, what the heck is happennin' here?
Jim: Two things I need you to understand. One, Pam and I are very happy together.
Andy: Uh, that's not what was-
Jim: And two, that stuff that happened with you and Angela is a bummer, and I know you don't think you're ever gonna find someone else, but you will. I promise you, you will.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Oh man, he got me so good. I learned something about myself today. Yeah. I wish this was a sofa, cause I feel like I could sit here and talk for hours.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: What is that thing that Dwight always says? Paper is the soil in which the seeds of business grow?
Dwight: It's not the soil! It's the manure! Paper is the manure! On-time delivery is the soil! Aah! [runs into office]
Secretary: Uh, hello, Dwight.
Dwight: Spin move.
Secretary: Oh-
Dwight: Ha ha! April 13th, 2002.
Mr. Schofield: Dwight, I'm in a meeting.
Michael: That's very rude.
Dwight: I barge because I care. April 13th, 2002, that is the date when you tried to switch paper providers for an obscure sociology textbook, but were hung out to dry when the price of glossy stock increased.
Mr. Schofield: Maybe we should schedule a meeting on our-
Dwight: La la la! Continuing. Notice my persistence and recall. Continuing! You called Dunder Mifflin, and your order was filled within an hour!
Michael: I'm going to pull a date out of the air right now. April 13th, 2002. That is the last day that you evaluated your paper needs. Is it not? We all know that the economy is bad, and bloated companies like Dunder Mifflin...
Dwight: Come on.
Michael: Are going to fall by the wayside. Two of their branches have closed within the last year. The Michael Scott Paper Company, however, has opened a new branch this very month.
Dwight: What he's not telling you is that he will abandon you.
Mr. Schofield: Why don't you guys just e-mail me your best offers and we can finish it up that way?
Michael: That sounds like a fantastic idea. I will see you this weekend for the Penguins. Box seats as usual.
Mr. Schofield: Uh, ok, sure.
Michael: Good, good, good. I will see you.
Dwight: Thank you, Mr. Schofield, for your time. Much appreciated. Oh, and tell me, um, how's your gay son?
Mr. Schofield: Excuse me?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: I color code all my info. I wrote "gay son" in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means "Orange you glad you didn't bring it up?" Most colors mean "Don't say it."
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: How is Tom, the homosexual sophomore?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: I wanted to start a company, not a war. Because in a war, you always fight those you are closest to. And the great tragedy of the civil war is that brother fought against brother. For what? What purpose did that serve? Apart from abolishing slavery? In that case, war was the right choice. This doesn't feel as important though. That's just how the world works, I guess.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[muffled speech, Ryan, Michael, and Pam all have mouths stuffed with cheese puffs, Michael answers the phone and talks with mouth full]


"DANCE"
Cast
Dawson: James Van Der Beek
Grams: Mary Beth Peil
Joey: Kaite Holmes
Bessie: Nina Repeta
Pacey: Joshua Jackson
Mitch: John Wesely Shipp
Jen: Michelle Williams
Gail: Mary-Margaret Humes
Andie: Meredith Monroe
Jack: Kerr Smith
Homecoming Dance
*Dawson's room: Andie is dancing and watching "Footloose" on Dawson's TV while Pacey, Dawson, and Joey sit on the bed and watch her dance and laugh.*
Andie: Oh my God! I love "Footloose"! Don't you guys love to dance? I am so excited about the homecoming dance next weekend.
Pacey: The homecoming dance? *Andie nods*
Pacey: Oh my God, we're hanging out with Marcia Brady.
Andie: I don't understand. What's wrong with the school dance?
Dawson: I think what Pacey's actually saying is that we're not exactly the school dance type.
Joey: We'd rather watch a movie about a high school dance than actually set foot in an over-decorated gym.
Pacey: Actually, this enditement of high school conventions isn't limited to dances. It covers the whole spectrum of school-sponsored events. Case-in-point: Joey, how many high school football games have you been to?
Joey: None.
Pacey: Mm-hm. And Dawson? How many pep rallies have you loyally attended?
Dawson: Zero.
Pacey: Mm-hm.
Andie: Uh! You guys are a bunch of cynics, you know that? I mean, what kind of memories are you going to have if all you did in high school is bitch and moan about it?
Joey: Bitching memories.
Dawson: Moaning memories. *Joey looks over and smiles at Dawson.*
Andie: You guys are completely sabotaging your high school experience.
Pacey: Guilty as charged. Now, Dawson, if you don't mind, could you turn the video back on? 'Cause I really want to see who's responsible for Kevin Bacon's rougueish, devil-maker, hair do(?). *He smiles at Andie as the tape comes back on. Andie walks over and stands in front of the TV*
Andie: You mean you would rather watch a movie about something than doing it yourselves?
Dawson and Joey: Correct. *Andie walks over and sits on the windowseat*
Andie: Okay, what about s*x? *Dawson, Pacey, and Joey look over.*
Andie: I mean, you guys are missing a major opportunity here. Why do you think the (?) were so adament about outlawing dancing? They believed it to be sinful.
Dawson: Are you saying dancing equals s*x?
Andie: No. But dancing could possibly be really great foreplay. *Joey looks at Dawson*
Pacey: I love the way you think.
Andie: So...who's going with me on Saturday?
*Joey looks at Dawson again and scratches her head. Pacey makes a face like 'Whoa'*
*Cut to Bessie and Joey pulling up to Capeside High. Joey's getting out but she stops*
Bessie: Okay. We're here. You gonna get out?
Joey: I was thinking.. *Bessie rolls her eyes*
Bessie: What is it this morning? General teen angst or something specific?
Joey: If I tell you something will you respond with nothing but sisterly advice and/or concern?
Bessie: Of course.
Joey: Okay...Jack kissed me. *Bessie starts laughing*
Bessie: Oh my God! *laughing*
Joey: Look I don't think cackling qualifies as concern or advice.
Bessie: I'm sorry Joey, but Jack? Choreboy down at the Icehouse?
Joey: Yes.
Bessie: He kissed you?
Joey: It was nothing, really. It happened and then it was over.
Bessie: So what's the problem then?
Joey: Dawson?
Bessie: Oh...you didn't tell him, did you?
Joey: No. I mean, here's the thing. I mean, this is a classic example of what I would tell Dawson, the friend, but since Dawson, the friend, has become Dawson, the boyfriend, the concept of newsworthy events has become a little blurry.
Bessie: Okay, look. Here's the way I see it. Jack kissed you, right? It was a 1 way kiss, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Bessie: Surprise whenever(?), completely uninvited, all-in-all no big deal. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you want my advice, just put it behind you, concentrate on Dawson, pretend it didn't happen.
Joey: What didn't happen?
Bessie: Exactly.
Joey: Thanks, Bess. See ya!
Bessie: Okay *She drives off* *Cut to Abby and Jen*
Abby: No way those are real.
Jen: What? You think those are man-made?
Abby: Yes! Jen, please! Physical enhancement caters not only to size. It can improve shape, direction, perk factor..that girls had some work done.
Jen: Yeah, well, Brett sure doesn't seem to mind.
Abby: Oh, please. Brett Tompkins is just a dim bulb with good hair and tight pants. A classic him-bo. In other words, perfect.
Jen: If that's your type.
Abby: Aw, what's the matter, Jen? Brett's too much man not enough touchy-feely film amateur(?). Full market down(?). Come Saturday night, Brett and Kristy will be history. Saturday, Brett will be mine.
Jen: Abby, that's pathetic. You're going to the homecoming dance to hit on somebody else's boyfriend?
Abby: Well, my guidance counselor told me to set goals for myself.
Jen: You're on your own.
Abby: Fine. Suit yourself. Stay at home and read Scripture with Grandma. Brett and I will drop you a line from Vegas. *Cut to Brett and Kristy.*
Brett: Don't pull me away like I'm some stupid dog on a leash!
Kristy: Well, how about acknowledging me when you see me outside, huh! *Dawson walks by listening to them heading towards Joey at her locker.*
Dawson: Promise me we will never air a relationship crisis about anything like that. I can't think of anything more embarressing and immature.
Joey: Deal.
Dawson: Okay. *They kiss*
Dawson: Now, remind me again how Andie McPhee convinced us to go to this homecoming dance.
Joey: I think by promising us that dancing always ends in taudry smud-action(?).
Dawson: Oh. Could that possibly be our first mention of s*x since we've been together?
Joey: Possibly.
Dawson: Why is that? When we were friends we talked about s*x all the time.
Joey: I think because we wanted to ease into the subject to make the transition from friend to lover..unconfusing.
Dawson: Ah, if we are confused about the transition from friend to lover, I can only think of one thing that would truly cinch it.
Joey: What do you suggest?
Dawson: That you put on your dancing shoes. *Joey smiles* *Jen and Abby walk by*
Jen: Hey guys.
Dawson: Hey Jen.
Abby: Wipe the drool, Dawson.
Joey: I don't like the two of them being so chummy. I mean, Abby is not a good influence for Jen.
Dawson: *laughing* Is this genuine concern I'm hearing for Jen Lindley?
Joey: Well, I feel sorry for her, I mean, her grandpa just died. Maybe we should invite her to the dance. I mean, we're going as a group. Might be fun for her.
Dawson: Joey Potter, I applaude you. You earn major humanity points for this. *Joey smiles and shrugs*
Dawson: But, um, don't you think it may make her feel worse than she already does?
Joey: I don't know. All I know is that it's really hard to lose a family member, Dawson, and I just think it might be fun for her. It's up to you. Your call.
Dawson: I'll see you later.
Joey: Okay. *They kiss* *Joey sees Jack enter the building and stares and then turns and walks away.* *Cut to Andie and Pacey outside*
Pacey: So since I'm in charge of transportation Saturday, would you like me to pick you up at your house or meet somewhere.
Andie: Let's meet somewhere.
Pacey: Cool. How's your mother doing anyway?
Andie: She's having a good week.
Pacey: Listen, Andie, if there's ever anything I can do, you can just ask me, right?
Andie: So Witter. I hope you have your dancing moves polished and ready 'cause I plan on making a dancing fool outta you.
Pacey: Sorry, McPhee, no can do, I don't dance.
Andie: What do you mean you don't dance?
Pacey: I mean, I don't like it and I'm really not any good at it. I mean, it's bad enough that I'm just going on Saturday but don't expect me to get out there and start bustin' a move 'cause it's just not going to happen.
Andie: You don't dance. You are beyond immature.
Pacey: You're overbearing.
Andie: Boring.
Pacey: Hyper-sensitive.
Andie: Vulgar.
Pacey: Pick you up at 7?
Andie: Great.
Pacey: Okay. *Dawson walks up*
Dawson: Are you two having a spat?
Pacey: No, just our usual passive-aggressive banter.
Dawson: Okay.
Andie: No, actually we were talking about the dance, and, hey, if you guys don't mind, I'd really like to invite my brother Jack to come along. You know, he's kind of a loner and I think it would be good for him.
Dawson: Actually, why don't we also invite Jen Lindley?
Andie: Jack and Jen? A set-up.
Dawson: I mean, I'm not sure they're a perfect match but they're both single.
Andie: I like it.
Pacey: No, guys. This is a bad idea.
Dawson: You never know. It could work!
Andie: Let's do it.
Pacey: No, don't, come on. Whenever you fix up two people who don't even know each other, it's a recipe for disaster. This can only end badly. I promise you. Please.
Andie: I'll set it up.
Dawson: Great.
Andie: Buh-bye.
Pacey: Am I invisible? *Cut to Dawson's house. Dawson's parents are on the porch. Dawson walks in.*
Dawson: Hi.
Mitch: Dawson, have a seat.
Dawson: Okay. What's going on?
Mitch: Well, I know things got a little out of hand the other night, and, well, I'm not sure what the segway is here, but your mother and I, after much talk, after much consideration, have decided--
Gail: Um, honey, sometimes you focus so hard on the solution that when you step away and you pull back, only then does the solution truly appear.
Mitch: Yes. Right. And as improbable as this approach might seem, sometimes it's the only one left and, um, and in this case, it's the only one left.
Gail: What we're trying to say is that...is that
Mitch: Your mother and I have decided to spend some time apart.
Dawson: Well, it looks like you two have given this quite a bit of careful thought.
Gail: Yes, we have.
Dawson: And the suggestion from me for you to go back to counseling wouldn't make any difference.
Mitch: We've tried it.
Dawson: So my suggestion that you make a more concerted effort at trying to find a solution. Maybe improve communication, possibly, family outings, truth syrum.
Mitch: Dawson, your opinion is important to us and we love you. But we're not open to suggestions on this one. This is a conclusion. A conclusion that we've reached.
Dawson: Yeah, well I conclude that your conclusion sucks. *Dawson walks off* *Cut to Jack and Andie*
Jack: Why didn't you just let Pacey pick us up at the house?
Andie: You know why, Jack.
Jack: Did you strap Mom in for the evening?
Andie: It's not funny.
Jack: She's not getting any better, you know?
Andie: You know, Jack, I want a night off. Just one night off. One attempt at fun. Can we do that please?
Jack: Well, maybe I shouldn't be around, I'll just bring you down, Andie. I hate dances. I don't do good at these things.
Andie: Don't be silly. It will be fun, okay? Besides, it's time we got you out and you met some of Capeside's cuties. And who knows? You might meet the woman of your dreams tonight.
Jack: Maybe. Maybe I already have.
Andie: Oh good, here's Pacey. *Pacey pulls up in his cop car*
Jack: Quite a car.
Andie: It's his dad's. They have a complex relationship. *Cut to Mitch loading suitcases into the jeep*
Mitch: Look, I should get going. Gail, this is just a trial, okay? Only temporary.
Gail: Absolutely. Only temporary. Um, look, are there rules? Can we talk to each other?
Mitch: Of course we can talk to each other! You can call me whenever you need to.
Gail: Go.
Mitch: Bye Gail. *He leaves and Gail starts crying* *Cut to Dawson coming down the stairs into the kitchen where his mom is cutting onions.*
Dawson: Mom, are you alright?
Gail: *with hints in her voice that she's been crying* Uh, yeah, Dawson, I'm fine. It's just the onions.
Dawson: Mom, I don't have to go to this dance. I'll stay home if you want me to.
Gail: No, honey, everything's fine. I'm fine.
Dawson: Can you turn around and tell me that?
Gail: Why don't you go pick up Joey, honey? So you're not late for the dance. Go on.
Dawson: Okay. *He leaves* *Cut to the school.*
Andie: The light was clearly red, Pacey.
Pacey: Oh no, it was turning red. I agree with you, red means stop. But if a light's turning red it's like an invitation to hit the gas.
Andie: What? Dawson, Joey, hey! Dawson, you know my brother, Jack.
Dawson: Yeah, we've met, unofficially.
Andie: And Joey? *Joey nods and smiles, obviously awkward*
Pacey: So...
Dawson: Jen, hey! *Jen walks up*
Jen: Dawson...everybody.
Andie: Jen, this is Jack, my brother.
Jen: Hi Jack, Andie's brother.
Jack: Um, it's just Jack.
Andie: So shall we?
Joey: *to Dawson* Let's go.
Dawson: Ready?
Joey: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
*Cut to people dancing. timelapse. more dancing. Joey and Dawson are dancing and Dawson dips Joey and they smile and laugh. Jack and Andie are dancing and Andie waves Pacey to come dance and he shakes his head no. Cut to Abby walking towards Jen.*
Abby: So. You decided to slum it after all.
Jen: Hey Abby.
Abby: I have to tell you, I love your dress. In fact, I have the same one...in a smaller size. *Cut to Joey and Dawson dancing. Joey bumps into Jack*
Joey: Sorry.
Jack: My fault. *slow song comes on*
Dawson: Ah, more my speed. *Cut to Andie getting Jen*
Andie: Jen, I have an idea. Why don't you dance with my brother Jack?
Jen: Hi Brother Jack.
Jack: It's actually just plain Jack...plain Jack.
Jen: Oh, well let me ask you something just plain Jack. Do you get the feeling we're being set up here? *Jack looks over and Andie and Pacey. Andie waves enthusiastically.*
Jack: Yeah. What makes you say that? *Cut to Pacey and Andie*
Andie: Yeah, she's cute.
Pacey: She's cute...he's cute..they've never met before, they're completely opposites and it's going to get ugly in about 20 minutes.
Andie: Nu-uh.
Pacey: Uh-huh. *Cut back to Dawson and Joey dancing*
Dawson: So my dad drove off leaving my mom crying over the kitchen sink. God, what I wouldn't give now for them to go back to their coffee table s*x antics.
Joey: I'm sorry, Dawson.
Dawson: You know, I'm just going to let them work out their adolescent traumas on their own. Steer clear, but there is a bright side.
Joey: What's that?
Dawson: The coffee table's now available. *Cut to Jack and Jen dancing. Dawson is watching while he dances*
Dawson: Well, well, well. I dare say they like each other.
Joey: Jack and Jen?
Dawson: Mm-hm. Andie and I played matchmaker tonight.
Joey: Why would you do that Dawson? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
Dawson: They both need to meet new people. They're both single.
Joey: Yeah, but Jack is this nice, sweet guy and Jen is this baracuda. It would never work.
Dawson: Why are you getting so worked up about this?
Joey: I'm not worked up, I just have an opinion that's all.
Dawson: Well, alert the media. *They kiss* *Cut to Pacey and Andie*
Andie: Come on, Pacey, what do you say? Wanna dance?
Pacey: I told you McPhee. I don't dance.
Andie: I don't believe you. I think you're holding out on me in some power move to keep control in this relationship.
Pacey: What relationship?
Andie: Ha ha. Come on, please, just a slow dance.
Pacey: I told you, McPhee. I don't dance. This includes dances of all speeds, all types, and all cultures, including, but not limited to, fast dances, slow dances, and whatever Patrick Swayze was doing in Dirty Dancing.
Andie: You know, Pacey, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Fine. If you don't want to dance with me, I'll just find someone who will.
Pacey: Don't hurt the poor guy, would ya? *Pacey watches Kristy Livingstone dance with Brett.* *Cut to a slow song. Andie walks up to Jack and Jen.*
Andie: Okay, time to switch partners.
Jen: Actually, um, I think I'm going to go outside and get some air, but thanks for the dance, Jack.
Jack: Sure anytime Jen. Andie: *she takes Jack over to Dawson and Joey* Okay, Dawson, guess it's just you and me because I do not intend to spend the entire evening dancing with my brother, so Jack, sweep your boss off her feet.
*Andie and Dawson start dancing and Joey just stands there. It's awkward*
Jack: So..uh..it's..*he puts his hands on her waist and she still just stands there*
Jack: Look, Joey, I know you've been avoiding me.
Joey: I haven't been avoiding you Jack!
Jack: No, it's, I want you to know I take full responsibility.
Joey: Full responsibility?
Jack: For kissing you. I crossed the line.
Joey: Yeah, you did, Jack. Because I have a boyfriend and you know that. And now because of kissing you, I feel guilty over nothing. In fact, I don't even think we should be having this conversation. *She walks off and Dawson watches her and Jack follows* *Cut to the hall. Joey is leaning against a wall. Jack comes out*
Joey: Did I mention that you weren't supposed to follow me?
Jack: I just want to apoligize.
Joey: Okay, you apoligized. Noted.
Jack: Wait, what are you so angry about?
Joey: Why am I so angry? Because you didn't respect me or my relationship.What you did was so rude and inappropriate.
Jack: No, no, I think there's something else going on here.
Joey: What?
Jack: It's all this anger you're expressing. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't add up.
Joey: What are you talking about?
Jack: I don't think you're angry at me for kissing you. I think you're angry at yourself for kissing me back. *Jack turns to walk away and Dawson is standing there with an angered expression. Joey notices and her face falls. She runs to the bathroom* *Cut to the dance room. Abby is dancing with Brett*
Abby: You know what I admire most about you, Brett? That you work each of your muscle groups equally. *Cut to Jen and Andie*
Jen: Um, I wanted to thank you for inviting me tonight. I actually had a surprisingly good time.
Andie: Why are you talking in past tense I mean the party's still going.
Jen: I think it's about over for me. If you don't mind, I think I'm going to head home.
Andie: Mind? Of course, I mind. We were just in the middle of a very interesting conversation sharing and getting to know each other and now you want to leave, just like that? *Jack walks up*
Jack: I think I'm going to take off.
Andie: Perfect! You can walk Jen home.
Jack: Yeah. You wanna go? *Dawson comes up.*
Dawson: Jack, what the hell happened?
Jack: Look you really need to talk to Joey about this.
Dawson: Yeah, I'm asking you.
Jack: Look, it was a weird night. The moon was full. It just happened.
Dawson: You kissed my girlfriend.
Jack: Yeah, I did. I'm not going to apoligize for it, man, cause truth is, I'd do it again so let's just not make this into a high school romp alright? 'Cause neither of us are the type. *Dawson slugs Jack*
Andie: Oh my God!
Jen: Dawson, what are you doing?! *Dawson walks off*
Abby: Nice punch, champ. I never knew he had so much testosterone. *Cut to Pacey walking out of the men's restroom and he sees Kristy standing in the hallway.*
Pacey: Uh...hey Kristy! What are you doing out here all by yourself?
Kristy: Thinking, you know.
Pacey: About what?
Kristy: The usual. Why my boyfriend will flirt with anything in a short skirt and why his self esteem won't stop him.
Pacey: Well, if you need a boost you came to the right place. I know about 800 guys who would line up to replace Brett if he exited the picture. And that's just in this school. If you added the neighboring school districts we could probably triple that number.
Kristy: Right..
Pacey: Are you joking? Look, I may not hang out with the beautiful people of Capeside but I like to think that I have the finger on a pulse of the common man and, believe me, that pulse quickens considerably when you walk by.
Kristy: You're embarressing me, Pacey.
Pacey: I'm sorry. I just, I thought you should know. Well, have a good night Kristy.
Kristy: Pacey?
Pacey: Yeah?
Kristy: Are you one of them?
Pacey: Excuse me?
Kristy: I was just wondering if you were one of those quick pulses.
Pacey: Yeah. Of course I am. I think you're incredible Kristy. You already know that.
Kristy: You know, as lame as school dances can be, there's always that one moment that seems to make it worth while. So, what do you say Pacey? Will you dance with me?
Pacey: Yeah. *They start dancing. Cut to Mitch in his hotel room staring at the phone. Gail in the Leery house sitting there. The phone rings*
Gail: Hello? Hello?
Mitch: Would you believe that I now have access to the Home Shopping Network 24 hours a day?
Gail: *laughs* Hi.
Mitch: How are ya?
Gail: We have a big house. I never realized just how big our house was until tonight. I, um, I can still call it our house, can't I?
Mitch: Yes. It is our house.
Gail: I don't know, Mitch. I don't know if I can do this.
Mitch: Yes you can because you have to
Gail: But why? Why do I have to?
Mitch: Because no matter how big our house is, right now it's far too small for the two of us.
Gail: Well, just remember, Mitch. The door to this house is always open.
Mitch: I will. Have a good night, Gail.
Gail: Bye. *They hung up. Cut to Andie, Jack, and Jen*
Andie: Are you guys going to get home okay?
Jack: Yeah, we'll be fine. Nice work on the punch.
Andie: Yeah, I see. Well, you better get out of here in case he wants a rematch. *They start to walk off*
Jack: Hey, um, I'm sorry.
Andie: *to Jen* You take care of him, okay?
Jen: 'Kay. Bye. *Andie sees Pacey dancing with Kristy and she runs off as Pacey sees her* *Cut to Dawson exiting the school and Joey sits on the steps and follows him*
Joey: Dawson...Dawson! Where are you going?
Dawson: Home.
Joey: No, look, I want to talk about this.
Dawson: First you run away and now you want to talk.
Joey: No, about the kiss.
Dawson: I know all about the kiss.
Joey: No you don't!
Dawson: Joey, you kissed somebody else! What is there to know?
Joey: It wasn't like th-- he kissed me and I just didn't...
Dawson: Stop him.
Joey: Look, Dawson, I'm sorry, okay? It was a mistake. A poor error in judgement and that's it. And for you to blow this into some earth shattering scene of cinematic proportions--
Dawson: Now, wait a minute! You're not going to do that to me.
Joey: Do what?
Dawson: Use who I am against me to divert from the fact you screwed up.
Joey: I said I was sorry what else do you want me to say?
Dawson: There's nothing you can say, Joey! There's no justifiable reason for a girl who spent the last 15 years of her life pretending that I was the only thing she wanted ended up kissing some other guy and lying about it.
Joey: I didn't lie to you Dawson. That kiss was not my doing.
Dawson: Not your doing?
Joey: Yeah!
Dawson: What did you physically leave your body the moment your lips touched his?
Joey: Don't do this. Don't punish me just to make yourself feel better.
Dawson: So I'm the bad guy.
Joey: Yeah, I guess you are.
Dawson: You cheat on me and I'm the bad guy!
Joey: Yes! Don't you get it? This isn't about some stupid kiss, Dawson!
Dawson: It's about us.
Joey: No! It's about me! For once, it's about me, Dawson, and that's what I've been trying to tell you! *Dawson notices a group has gathered to listen to them bicker and he walks off leaving Joey* *Cut to Jen and Jack and Jen's house*
Jen: Well, this is my stop.
Jack: Alright, um..
Jen: Oh my goodness, it's really starting to swell.
Jack: Yeah, um, I made a scene when I should of just left things alone.
Jen: You really like her, don't ya?
Jack: What makes you say that?
Jen: Well, I can't think of a guy who'd take a punch like that over a girl he doesn't even like.
Jack: Well, maybe I have no chance, but I've always been sort of a sucker for lost causes so..
Jen: You're a romantic. There's nothing wrong with that.
Jack: Romantic? That's like a nice word for loser. *Jen laughs*
Jen: Ice...you should really get some ice on that. And I should..
Jack: Really go inside.
Jen: Hey, you know, Jack, um, I had a really good time tonight and I think I've got you to thank for that.
Jack: Why? I didn't do anything.
Jen: No but when you were with me, you did a really good job of pretending you didn't want to be with somebody else. 'Night.
Jack: Goodnight Jen.
Jen: Jack?
Jack: Yeah?
Jen: Keep fighting for your lost causes. You never know when your luck might change. *Cut to Mitch Leery pulling up in his car and looking through the window at Gail. He drives away. Cut to Andie on the dock. Pacey walks up*
Andie: I thought you didn't dance, Pacey.
Pacey: You know, I've been looking for you. I've been looking everywhere for ya.
Andie: You said you didn't dance, Pacey.
Pacey: What? Did you see me out there? You can hardly call that dancing.
Andie: You're right. I call it foreplay. But then again, we don't owe any explanations to each other, do we? We're just sparring partners right? We don't mean any more to each other than that.
Pacey: That's not true. You know that's not true, Andie. I mean, I was having a wonderful time with you tonight. I was. It's just when I ran into Kristy, I just...I got swept up in the moment.
Andie: Well, it's too bad I'm not the kind of girl who can sweep you away.
Pacey: Come on, Andie, come on. You know that's not what I meant. It's just Kristy..she's like a fantasy. Don't tell me you've never wanted to act out a fantasy. Even if just for a moment.
Andie: Yeah I was trying to act out a fantasy all night.
Pacey: Why do you like me?
Andie: What?
Pacey: Why do you like me? I'm a screw up, Andie. I'm thoughtless. I'm insecure. And for the life of me, I can not understand why I woman like you would bother to care about me.
Andie: God, I don't know, Pacey, because you're funny and you're kind and you don't judge people. You make me feel good about myself. I mean, you didn't run screaming from the house the other day when you met my crazy ol' mother. And you're smart. I mean, I don't know where you get this whole loser complex because you are so smart. And you spar better with me than anyone. And you're sharp, and you're witty, and you're brilliant. And this is more than you deserve right now.
Pacey: I know, I know. Andie, I know. I'm really, truly sorry. I am. I'm sorrier than I've been in a long time. The moment that I spent with Kristy, the moment that's going to make the whole night worth while, I was with the wrong person. I want to spend that moment with you.
Andie: Well, we're certainly having one now, aren't we?
Pacey: Would you please dance with me Miss McPhee?
Andie: I'd love to. *They start dancing*
Pacey: Sharp, witty, and brilliant, huh? Anything you care to add to that?
Andie: If you think I find this charming, Pacey, you're majorly deluded.
Pacey: Of course not, how could you? I'm a witless boar.
Andie: Oafish clod.
Pacey: Major cat. Kiss me?
Andie: Thought you'd never ask. *They kiss* *Cut to Dawson's room. He enters and Joey's sitting there and she's obviously been crying*
Dawson: Joey..
Joey: Dawson, I am so sorry.
Dawson: What happened Joey?
Joey: I told you, Jack kissed me and--
Dawson: No, not Jack. This is not about Jack. About us. What is going on between us?
Joey: I don't know, Dawson.
Dawson: Ever since we got together I feel like you've been pulling away from me. I thought this was what you wanted, you know? I thought I was what you wanted.
Joey: You are.
Dawson: Am I?
Joey: You're what I'm going to want, Dawson.
Dawson: What does that mean?
Joey: For so long, all I've thought about was you. All I dreamed about was you.
Dawson: What happened?
Joey: I got my dream and now I feel like I don't have anything else. I mean, you have your future so perfectly planned, Dawson, you know exactly what you want to do, what you want to accomplish, and I don't even know who I am, let alone who I want to be or accomplish and I need to figure that out. I need to find my something.
Dawson: So go find it.
Joey: It can't include you, Dawson. It has to be my doing, and mine alone. You make me so happy, you know? But I have to make myself happy first. That's probably the one thing in this whole world that you can't do for me.
Dawson: So what are you saying? *Joey gets up and heads towards the window. Dawson gets up confused*
Dawson: Joey? Joey, no, Joey! I..I love you. *Joey turns around. She walks back towards him*
Joey: I love you, too, Dawson. *They start to lean in to kiss but Joey stops herself and turns back towards the window*
Dawson: Wait, b-b-but how can it be over? We can't just say I love you for the first time and have it be over!
Joey: I have to go, Dawson. Goodnight. *Joey climbs out the window and leans up against the house with her eyes closed. Dawson is mad and he flings stuff in his room and then he climbs out the window and watches Joey run away towards her house. He kicks the ladder down in anger.*