[Restaurant  Jen, Joey and Audrey sit at a table for a meal. A waitress is taking their order.]
Waitress: Great. I'll be right back with your drinks, ladies.
Audrey: This place got an amazing write-up in timeout: Boston. I'm really glad I decided to tag along.
Joey: You mean invite yourself.
Audrey: Will you stop? (Jen's cell phone rings) Nobody believes that you don't adore me.
Jen: (answering her phone) Hello?
Joey & Audrey: (singing) Char-lie!
Jen: (into phone) Ha! Hi.
Audrey: (to Joey) So do we like this Charlie?
Joey: We don't really know this Charlie. She seems to keep this Charlie pretty much to herself.
Audrey: I'm a little concerned. This is all sounding very Nine 1/2 Weeks to me. (Jen hangs up) Booty call?
Jen: Pretty much. Yeah.
Audrey: Oh! I knew it.
Joey: Are you gonna go?
Jen: I don't know. I could use the snuggles.
Audrey: See, that's what I miss most about not having a boyfriend-- the snuggling. It's better than s*x. If only guys knew how easy it was to make us happy.
Joey: Yeah, but you know what? Even if they did know, they'd still screw it up. Snuggling to them is merely just a means to an end.
Jen: I mean, I've been seeing Charlie for a week, and the only thing that I really know about him is that his boxers are from The Gap.
Audrey: Well, there are worse things, you know?
Jen: Such as?
Audrey: Well, for instance, he could be a tighty-whitey guy.
Jen and Joey: Oh!
Jen: Oh, good point!
Joey: Ok. On that note... I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and when I get back, I'd like it very much if this week's episode of s*x and the City had come to an end.
Jen: Ok, Charlotte.
(Joey heads to the bathroom when she stops short. Her face turns serious as they show what she's looking at  A guy who looks like Pacey scene through a window in the door to the kitchen. As a waitress comes out of the kitchen, the door swings open and Pacey is in full view. Opening credits.)
[Restaurant  Joey moves to a bench near the restroom, followed by Jen.]
Joey: I wonder how long he's been in town.
Jen: 3 and 1/2 weeks.
Joey: You think it's been that long?
Jen: Yeah, I'm positive.
Joey: You knew?
Jen: Only that he was in Boston, not that he was working at this restaurant. I swear.
Joey: Why didn't you tell me?
Jen: Because he made me promise not to.
Joey: I should go.
Jen: No, Joey... don't you want to see him or talk to him?
Joey: Of course I want to see him, but he obviously doesn't want to see me.
Jen: No-- you don't know that.
Joey: 3 1/2 weeks. Jen, if he wanted to see me, he would have, and if he wanted to see me, he wouldn't have asked you not to tell me. (she gets up and walks out)
[Grams' House  Dawson is in the living room when Grams returns with blankets and a pillow.]
Dawson: Grams, thank you again for letting me stay here.
Grams: I quite enjoy having an expatriate sleeping on my sofa. Makes it feel like Paris in the twenties around here. Alas, no crepes, but I did bake you some Rice Krispie squares for your bus trip tomorrow.
Dawson: Oh, how can I be so sure about something and so nervous about doing it at the same time?
Grams: Staying in Boston. It's a big decision.
Dawson: Well, I can handle it. It's just telling my parents I'm worried about.
Grams: Well, they might surprise you.
Dawson: Maybe I should just give it more time.
Grams: Because of your busy schedule?
Dawson: Because I-- I don't even know what I'm gonna tell them.
Grams: The truth will set you free.
Dawson: The truth will tick them off. Maybe a letter.
Grams: If Moses could face Pharaoh, you can face your parents.
[Frat House  People are partying and drinking while Jack and Blossom sit on the couch playing PS2. They are yelling and laughing over the game they are playing, until Jack finally scores and they cheer.]
Blossom: Oh, yes! Whoo! Yes! You are the man, Jack. You the man.
Jack: All right. Man can't breathe.
Blossom: (introducing Jack to someone) Jack, this is Polar Bear.
Jack: Hey!
Polar Bear: Welcome to Sigma house, Jack. Good to have you.
Jack: (shaking hands) Thanks, man.
Polar Bear: How are your classes going?
Jack: Not bad. Not bad.
Polar Bear: Thompson's Astro class is a bitch, huh?
Jack: (surprised) Yeah. It is, actually. That's the one class I'm really struggling with. How'd you know that?
Polar Bear: (handing him a business card) Call me. We'll talk about the topic of your pop quiz next week.
Pete: (walking up) Blossom, this the guy?
Blossom: Jack McPhee, Pete Willard.
Pete: How you doing, Jack? Welcome to the house.
Jack: Thanks.
Pete: So you get any time on the links lately?
Jack: Oh, man, I wish. It's kind of hard to scare up a golf game with the college crowd.
Blossom: Pete's on a full-ride golfing scholarship at Boston Bay.
Jack: I don't think we're playing the same game.
Pete: Ah, you can shoot under par at Capeside Country Club, you can hang. So you interested in helping me humiliate a couple of ATO's Sunday morning?
Jack: Yeah, I'd love to.
Pete: All right, man. Good to meet you.
Jack: Cool. Thanks.
Pete: Later, buddy.
Blossom: (handing him a plate with a baked potato and a glass of beer) Here you go, man.
Jack: You got to be kidding me. How do you know so much about me?
Blossom: A bid to Sigma Ep is for life. Before we extend that privilege, we pretty much make sure we know everything about each guy rushing the house.
Jack: Actually, Blossom, look, I think I should probably
Blossom: Excuse me. I think a pledge just accepted his bid. I got a new brother. (he walks off to join a bunch of frat guys carrying another guy around and singing the Sigma Ep song.)
[Restaurant  Kitchen. Pacey is peeling potatoes when Karen walks in with a salad.]
Karen: This loudmouthed blond girl just returned her Caesar salad because of the anchovies. [Imitating Audrey] She, like, hates anchovies.
Pacey: So?
Karen: You wouldn't understand.
Pacey: You want to know something I really don't understand? Danny hires me on as the new cook, right? But then he won't let me cook. I don't know about you, but this, to me, looks a lot like potato peeling.
Karen: You're not wearing the hat. Why aren't you wearing the hat? There are health regulations, you know.
Pacey: I would sooner slap on a pair of chaps, ok?
Karen: Fine, Pacey. Don't wear the hat.
Pacey: All right. Is it just me, or are you not liking me so much tonight? What? Now you're not even talking to me?
Karen: I'm working.
Pacey: No, you're waiting.
Karen: I'm thinking.
Pacey: Well, you're usually talking.
Karen: Did it ever occur to you that I might actually have other things to do besides stand around the kitchen and yak it up with the new prep cook?
Pacey: You see a prep cook? Because that actually refers to somebody who would cook, which I'm not doing. All I'm doing is peeling potatoes, so I know you couldn't be talking to me.
[Charlie's Dorm  Jen shows up for her booty call.]
Jen: Just so you know, um, this is not gonna become a regular thing.
Charlie: What's not?
Jen: You calling, me just showing up here in the middle of the night like this.
Charlie: Yeah, but you didn't just show up. You know, I could have gotten a pizza in less time than it took you. Actually, two pizzas, deep-dish, Chicago-style. (he starts to kiss her)
Jen: Chicago? Is that where you're from?
Charlie: (trying to kiss her) Not exactly.
Jen: Well, um... where exactly?
Charlie: Do we really need to talk about this right now?
Jen: Yes... because we've been, you know, whatever for a week now, and I feel like I don't know the most basic things about you.
Charlie: (kissing her) Come on. Sure you do.
Jen: Where'd you grow up?
Charlie: (more kissing) All over.
Jen: Where d you go to high school, then?
Charlie: Lots of places.
Jen: (breaking free from Charlie) Ok, see... that's what I mean. These-- these are not real answers.
Charlie: Come on. So? The real answers are boring and long.
Jen: And what? You only provide them on a need-to-know basis?
Charlie: Yes. Highland park, Illinois. Not exactly the birthplace of cool. All right?
Jen: There. Wasn't so hard, was it?
Charlie: It was torture.
[Capeside  The Leery Residence. Dawson stands in the backyard looking at the Creek. Suddenly Mitch comes outside.]
Mitch: Dawson?
Dawson: Hey, dad.
[Leery Residence  Living room. Dawson is looking at the couch.]
Dawson: New couch.
Mitch: Your mom's been on a redecorating kick ever since you left.
Dawson: I like it.
Mitch: I miss my old one.
Gale: (coming downstairs) Dawson! Oh, I can't believe it! What a surprise! Oh! Is this really you?
Dawson: It's really me.
Gale: Oh, look at you! Oh, my God. You are thin as a rail.
Mitch: I want to hear about L.A. You get that deal with Dreamworks yet?
Gale: Did you get the cookies that I sent you?
Dawson: No, actually, I didn't. I haven't gotten the cookies because I haven't gotten my mail in L.A. For over a week.
Mitch: Class is really that intense, huh? Well, good. You'll learn something.
Dawson: I haven't gotten my mail because I haven't been in L.A.
Gale: Uh, I don't get it.
Dawson: I've been in Boston.
Gale: Uh... still not getting it.
Dawson: Um... guys, USC Is not for me. I want to drop out. I know this comes as a surprise to both of you, but I spent the whole summer in L.A., And I went to every single one of my classes, and the main thing that I learned about LA is that LA is just not where I want to be right now.
Gale: And Boston is?
Dawson: All my friends are in Boston.
Gale: Oh, honey. You'll make new friends in California. It just takes some time.
Dawson: Mom, it's more than that. It's more than that. I'm... I'm at a profound crossroads in my life, and I know that if I don't choose this path, I'm going to have significant regrets.
Gale: Hmm Where would you live?
Dawson: Uh, with Jack and Jen at Grams'.
Gale: What would you do?
Dawson: Find a new school.
Gale: Oh, Dawson.
Dawson: Mom, I know I sound like a complete flake, but I promise you, I've given this a lot of thought.
Mitch: I've given this some thought myself, and I've decided... you're not dropping out.
Dawson: It doesn't work like that, dad.
Mitch: If you're going to stand here and talk to me about crossroads and paths so you can drop out of school and go crash on a sofa, then don't presume to talk to me like you're an adult. (he walks out of the room)
Gale: (Lily starts to cry through the monitor) Oh! Lily, I know how you feel. (she goes upstairs leaving Dawson alone.)
Dawson: Welcome home.
[Joey's Dorm  Joey is cleaning out something as Audrey tries to get her to open up.]
Audrey: Ok. So who's the guy?
Joey: What guy?
Audrey: The guy who you saw at the restaurant last night that obviously has some huge impact on your life.
Joey: Audrey, the only guy that has an impact on my life right now is James Joyce, and I can't focus on him until I get this room in order.
Audrey: You know... back in L.A., I was something of a therapist to a lot of my friends. People would call me all the time to talk about their problems. Some even paid the surcharge to call from the valley, and lucky you, you've got me here whenever you want me.
Joey: Lucky me.
Audrey: So why don't you stop cleaning up the mess and tell me about him?
Joey: Don't you have a lacrosse team to date or something?
Audrey: I have this theory about you. You want to hear it?
Joey: No.
Audrey: You love academia because of the rules, and you hate relationships because of the lack of them. So do you want to see him or not?
Joey: Yes. No. Yes, but only if he wants to see me, and he obviously doesn't.
Audrey: Ha! God, you're dense. Of course he wants to see you.
Joey: What makes you say that?
Audrey: Because... you're beautiful and you don't know it. Because you're smart and you don't believe it. You're the kind of girl that guys never get over. Joey, you're the kind of girl that other girls get compared to.
Joey: I don't-- I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
Audrey: Why do I think you don't want to make yourself feel uncomfortable?
Joey: It's complicated. I mean, it ended messy, and I don't want to make things worse.
Audrey: Joey, no one's gonna grade you on how you handle this, you know? No one's gonna come along and tell you what's expected so you know how to succeed. Relationships are messy. That's their nature. They start messy, and they end messy, and if you ever want to have another relationship in your life, you better just stop worrying about the mess.
[Frat House  the following day. Jack sleeping on the couch when he is woken up by Blossom.]
Blossom: (handing him an envelope) Do you know what this is, McPhee?
Jack: I'm not even sure where I am.
Blossom: The inner chapter room. Sigmas don't let you drink and drive. We plan on keeping our house. See these pictures on the wall? Every one of these Sigma men looked at the very same thing you're looking at right now. This is your future, Jack. Open it.
Jack: (opening his invitation) Wow! What happens if I accept?
Blossom: You live in the house, you eat your meals here, your problems become our problems, your success, our success. We're your brothers, your family. What do you think, Jack?
Jack: I--I don't know what to think. It's all kind of overwhelming.
Blossom: There comes a point in every man's life when he has to ask himself that one fundamental question-- am I in or am I out?
Jack: Yeah... yeah, I've asked myself that question, actually, and I think you guys really need to know the answer. (they all look at him) I'm gay.
Blossom: (the guys laugh a little) You thought we didn't know that?
Jack: Most people are surprised.
Blossom: Most people aren't Sigma people. You're sigma people, Jack. You're one of us.
Jack: You mean, there's other guys in the house that are gay?
Blossom: You'd be the first.
Jack: Most fraternities are not particularly well known for, you know, their tolerance towards alternative lifestyles.
Blossom: Which is precisely why we need you in this house, McPhee. Listen, Sigma Ep has a reputation for being one of the roughest, party-hearty, alpha male fraternities on campus, a reputation which is not entirely unfounded. The dean wants us to diversify. The dean gets what the dean wants, so, yes, Jack, we know you're gay, and we want you in this house because you're gay.
[Charlie's Dorm  Jen and Charlie are in bed together.]
Jen: So...what's your favorite color?
Charlie: I don't know. The color of your eyes.
Jen: (covering Charlie's eyes) And that would be?
Charlie: This is ridiculous. You think I've been sleeping with you for a week and I don't know what color your eyes are?
Jen: Humor me.
Charlie: Brown.
Jen: With subtle flecks of green.
Charlie: Look, it's not entirely my fault that we just happen to have a completely normal, healthy, active s*x life.
Jen: What are you saying? That it's my fault?
Charlie: No. I'm just saying that neither one of us has very much in the way of self-control.
Jen: Huh! You don't think that we could go a day without having s*x of any kind?
Charlie: A day? Are you insane, woman? We'd be lucky to make it 12 hours.
Jen: What's the matter? Afraid you couldn't hold out?
Charlie: Now, you see... I know I can hold out. I'm just not sure you can.
Jen: Well, all right, then. Bring it on. 12 hours, starting right now, no s*x. (Charlie moves to kiss her. Jen sounds unresisting.) No. No. What--oh! Huh.
Charlie: Maybe we should get out of bed.
Jen: Good idea.
[Restaurant  Pacey is still working on potatoes the next day. Karen walks in.]
Pacey: So is it me? Did I forget to replace the paper towels in the employee washroom? (she ignores him) You know, Brecher told me that the waitresses were moody, but you, Madame, are off the charts, and that guy is a total, complete, and utter wackjob, because he caught me touching one of the pans today, and the guy almost snapped. "Put down the ironclad and step away from the stove."
Karen: Allclad.
Pacey: Huh?
Karen: Why would he let you mess with something you don't even know the name of?
Pacey: Oh, come on. Just hate him with me for a second, would you? You know, nothing'll bond two colleagues quicker than bitching about the boss.
Karen: We're not colleagues. This isn't a law firm. I wait for people. You cook for them.
Pacey: Uh, no. I don't actually cook for them. I just get to cut their potatoes into paper-thin slices for reasons that are, quite frankly, beyond me.
Karen: The whole job is beyond you.
Pacey: Ok. What's the problem?
Karen: He's got you doing classic culinary prep work. You have to wear the hat so that some nice young woman who's here on her first date doesn't puke in the ladies' room when she finds a strand of your greasy hair in her pumpkin puree, and the only problem I have is that I'm working with someone whose sole qualification for this job is his gender.
Pacey: Well, you see, this is good. We're making progress now because you just exploded on me. I just have no idea why.
[Capeside  Dawson's Room. Dawson sits on the floor next to his bed when Mitch walks in.]
Mitch: When I was your age, I used to spend hours and hours just sitting around thinking about my life.
Dawson: Why'd you stop?
Mitch: Well, I guess I got too busy living it to sit around reflecting on it.
Dawson: I hope I never get to that place.
Mitch: Dawson... I am sleeping in the room with a baby monitor. I'm tired, so don't B.S. me. You and I both know what this is about. This is about a girl.
Dawson: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mitch: You've been making movies ever since you were a little boy. I first heard about USC when you were 10, and for the last 4 years, it's been the frigging mantra of the leery household. So what do you do? You work your tail off. You overcome hell and high water and the kind of adversity that would send ordinary kids running for cover, and you actually do the impossible, and you get yourself in. You did it, Dawson. You...did it. Now here you are... your whole life ahead of you, and you're thinking about chucking it all away? What are you-- you crazy?
Dawson: Maybe a little.
Mitch: You want to talk about standing at a crossroads, fine, but for God's sake, choose your own path.
Dawson: Dad, that's what I'm trying to do.
Mitch: No, you're not. You're following Joey down hers. I know how much she means to you, but do you really think it's wise to make major life decisions based on someone else? Remember, this isn't high school anymore. The stakes are high. Your decisions have real consequences.
Dawson: God, come on. Dad, honestly, do you think I don't know that? You think I don't know that this is the most important decision of my life?
Mitch: Then make the right one.
Dawson: Dad, it's not that simple.
Mitch: It really is. Dawson... I have lived twice as long as you, and I'm just trying to give you the benefit of my experiences.
Dawson: Dad, I can't live the life that you want me to have. I can't live the life that you choose for me, all right? I have to have my own.
Mitch: Your own?
Dawson: Yes.
Mitch: Fine. Here's the opportunity to have the life you've wanted ever since you were a little boy. (hands him an airline ticket) I booked you on the 3:30 tomorrow. Seize this opportunity, Dawson. Seize it. It'll be gone in a moment... and that's life.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Leery Residence  Dawson sits on a blanket outside with Lilly. Gale and Mitch sit in the distance watching them.]
Gale: I've got a little confession to make. It's completely and utterly selfish, but I totally want him to drop out of USC and come back and be close to us.
Mitch: When I saw him out there standing in the yard, my heart pretty much leapt out of my chest, and I thought, "God, I miss this kid." I miss having him around and seeing him across the table at dinner. I miss hearing what he thinks about whatever movie he's just seen. Do you know how much I love my life? I have this amazing family. I mean, I know everybody says that, but, trust me, I've been around the block long enough to know that what we have here is so incredibly rare. But you see... it's the only thing I've ever really been good at.
Gale: Oh, honey.
Mitch: No, no, no. I'm a family man. I can say with relative certainty that I will never write a poem... (Gale laughs) Or paint a painting or make a movie that will change the world. Just wasn't in the cards for me, and that's ok because maybe, just maybe... our son will do that. (Gale kisses him) What was that for?
Gale: What can I say? I love my boys.
[Charlie's Dorm  Jen and Charlie are trying to not have s*x.]
Jen: (looking through a newspaper) This is working. This is totally working. Two people, two cups of coffee, just doing what people do who don't have s*x.
Charlie: Going to a movie?
Jen: Mm-hmm. Um, check this out. Fellini retrospective-- la strada, la dolce vita...
Charlie: Uh, no, I can't do it. No subtitles.
Jen: No subtitles?
Charlie: No. I can't stand them. You know, if I want to read, I'll pick up a book.
Jen: What happened to "I'll see anything"?
Charlie: Well, anything without subtitles.
Jen: Not even action movies? No John Woo, Jackie Chan, Crouching Tiger?
Charlie: Is this some kind of problem for you?
Jen: No. No. No. No. I mean... it's not like a difference of opinion on subtitles spells doom for a relationship, right? I mean, so what really? So what that I have an overwhelming physical attraction to somebody who categorically rejects the very best that world cinema has to offer just because he's a little too lazy to read the words on the screen.
Charlie: Now, see? You're mad. No, no. This is good. This is good. This is what I was talking about-- us getting to know each other naturally. You learn a little something about me, I learn a little something about you, right? And before you know it, these 12 hours are up, and we can have s*x again.
[Grams' House  Jack is talking with Grams.]
Jack: I got a bid to join Sigma.
Grams: That's wonderful.
Jack: Tobey doesn't think so. He called me "the gay uncle Tom." He's convinced that they only want me to fill some kind of quota, which isn't entirely untrue.
Grams: How do you feel when you're over there?
Jack: Well, see, that's the weird thing. I mean, for the first time in my life, I feel like I've finally found a place where I'm comfortable, you know? I fit in with these guys.
Grams: What's weird about that?
Jack: I'd be the only gay guy in the house.
Grams: Oh. Well, it sounds to me like... its more of an issue with you than it is with them.
Jack: You're right. You're right, but that's strange because it's typically not how I am.
Grams: But it is typically how Tobey is. If these fellows know you 1/10 as well as I know you, I am quite certain they want you for much more than filling a quota.
[Capeside  Gale and Dawson sit on a picnic table.]
Gale: Did Joey ask you to stay in Boston?
Dawson: No.
Gale: Are you two
Dawson: Together? No. It makes no logical sense. I know. The past few years of my life, I haven't done anything without a clear-cut objective. I've always been asking myself, "What's my goal? What am I trying to accomplish?" And my whole life, everybody's always been telling me to follow my heart. The irony is, now that I've finally figured out what that means, everybody's telling me I'm crazy if I do it.
Gale: No, honey. I'm not saying not to follow your heart, but... people change, Dawson. It's a fact. You, all of your friends, you're all gonna change. So if you are absolutely sure that you want to be with Joey, just make sure that you are not going to prevent either one of you from growing. And, sweetheart, I am not dismissing this beautiful idea of soul mates, but the reality of eternal coupling... well, quite frankly, it boils down to one thing... faith. So ask yourself this question-- is Joey the kind of person that you are willing to take a very big leap of faith for?
[Dorm  Charlie and Jen are comparing themselves to each other while they play Gin.]
Charlie: Coke.
Jen: Pepsi. Exile in guyville.
Charlie: Exile on Main Street.
Jen: Favorite president?
Charlie: I don't know. Lincoln? Hmm. I am from Illinois.
Jen: Favorite Charlie's Angel?
Charlie: Cameron Diaz. Now can we just get back to playing Gin?
Jen: No. Not until we find something that we have in common.
Charlie: Look. We already have something in common--sex.
Jen: Well, you've got to find something else. You can't base a relationship purely on s*x.
Charlie: Now, you see, I beg to differ. s*x is a pretty big thing to have in common. I mean, what exactly are we trying to prove here? What possible reason could there be for two intelligent, responsible people who just happen to have an overwhelming physical attraction for each other to deny that attraction? (he moves to Jen)
Jen: Oh, why are you leaving your side of the room?
Charlie: Because. (he climbs in bed with her)
Jen: Are you kidding?
Charlie: No. Are you?
Jen: (they start to kiss) No. Ok. Ok, but this does not mean that we're gonna give up on finding something that we have in common.
Charlie: Agreed.
Jen: Because, I mean, at some point, this relationship has to move out of the room.
Charlie: Agreed.
Jen: I'm sure that this is just a stage, and as long as both people are intelligent and responsible, there's no reason why we can't have(Charlie looks upset) what?
Charlie: No condoms. We used the last one last night.
Jen: You're kidding me. Well, go find one.
Charlie: What?
Jen: Go borrow one. Go get one.
Charlie: Why borrow when we can steal? Come on. Let's go. Come on. (he grabs her hand and pulls her off the bed)
Jen: What-- where-- where are we going?
Charlie: Look. We're taking this relationship out of the bedroom, all right?
[Boston Docks  Joey walks down the docks looking for Pacey's boat. She finally spots him and walks up slowly.]
Joey: (looking up at the sky) You can't see them very well, can you, at night in the city?
Pacey: (surprised, he turns around to look at her. He smiles a little and looks up at the sky.) What, the stars? Um... no, you can't see them very well, (looking at Joey) but what the hell? I've seen them all before, right?
Joey: (finally looking at him and smiling) Me, too. (he motions for her to come aboard and helps her up)
Pacey: So I'm guessing that this means that Lindley sold me out, huh?
Joey: Ah, go easy on her. I saw you at the restaurant.
Pacey: Ah, yeah. My new stomping grounds.
Joey: Well, after that, she did unravel like a cheap suit.
Pacey: Which would explain why she hasn't been around to see me lately.
Joey: No, that would be because she met a guy.
Pacey: Really? That's good for her.
Joey: Yeah. So I guess, um, she's told you about these Sunday dinners we've been having.
Pacey: Uh, yeah. I seem to remember something to that effect.
Joey: Well, it's-- it's nice. I mean, we try to get together every week because it's easy to get lost in the big city.
Pacey: Well, of course it is. You don't have enough stars to guide you.
Joey: You should try to come some time.
Pacey: I'll try and do that.
Joey: Because, Pace, I would-- I would hate that... you not coming had anything to do with me.
Pacey: With you?
Joey: Or this thing we shared called the romance. You know, I did really badly, and there was bitterness and tears and... recrimination.
Pacey: Yeah. I think I remember that. We dated once, right?
Joey: Yeah, we did, didn't we? (she moves to the wheel and he helps her over) But, you know, I've practically forgotten now that I've slept with half the football team.
Pacey: Really? Just half? I think that shows incredible restraint on your part.
Joey: Well, I had to leave half for my roommate.
Pacey: Oh, roommate. Oh, lord. I feel sorry for this person. 24 hours a day, confined in a small space with you-- it's not healthy. (they both take a seat)
Joey: I don't snore.
Pacey: I beg to differ.
Joey: So, Pace, um... the other day, I had to read this article for biology, and it said that contrary to all previous thinking on the subject, human beings may actually be able to regrow brain cells.
Pacey: So I guess that means the whole "this is your brain on drugs" thing is moot.
Joey: I wouldn't go toking up just yet... but I think what it means is that at some point in the not-so-distant future, it may actually be possible to forget all the bad stuff and only remember the good.
Pacey: I don't know. If you ask me, I think that's already possible. So tell me some more about this new roommate of yours.
Joey: You really want to know?
Pacey: Well, of course I want to know.
Joey: No. I want to know about your job and this boat. This is one mother of a boat, Pace.
Pacey: Yeah, I know. I mean, it's not technically mine, but it's good for right now. And the job is a job, but this summer...
[Leery Residence  Dawson finishes packing up his bag and goes downstairs. Gale has Lily with her.]
Gale: (to Lily) Ok, sweetheart. Come on. Oh, yes. (to Dawson) Oh, honey, did you remember your sweaters?
Dawson: Yes, mom. I remembered everything you packed for me.
Gale: Ok. Um, look. (Handing him a ziplock bag of cookies) I made these for you for your trip. Please promise me that you'll eat more.
Dawson: I promise.
Gale: (kissing him) I love you.
Dawson: I love you, too. Good-bye, Lily. Good-bye. Ok, sweetie. Be good. Try not to spit up on mom too much, ok? (Lily grabs his bag of cookies) Those are my cookies. They're mine.
Gale: (to Lily) Ohh, he'll come back. (Mitch walks in)
Dawson: (handing him the airline ticket) Hope you can get a refund on that. Dad, I know you think I'm making a mistake, but if I am, it's a mistake I have to make for myself, all right? And I know when you think about this, you're gonna realize I'm only trying to be the kind of person you taught me to be.
Mitch: I think you are making a mistake, Dawson, a huge mistake, and I am disappointed in you. But never, ever for a single second forget that I love you... and I will always be here for you. (Mitch walks out)
Dawson: Mom?
Gale: He'll be fine. Call him.
Dawson: I will. (he goes out to his cab and gets in. Mitch watches as it pulls away.)
[Boston Bay Health Center  Jen and Charlie are climbing through a window.]
Jen: So... breaking and entering a typical second date for you?
Charlie: We're not breaking and entering. Hey, the window was open, right?
Jen: Isn't that just a little bit convenient?
Charlie: No, because there's nothing in here worth stealing... except... a Boston Bay tradition.
Jen: What, breaking into this health center and stealing condoms is a Boston Bay tradition?
Charlie: (there's a huge glass container filled with condoms on the counter, with a sign over it) It's not stealing. They're free. See? Read the sign. "Gift to the class of 1990. Here's hoping you get laid."
Jen: Is that what you think that that sign says?
Charlie: Well, something like that. I'm paraphrasing. Look. I haven't actually been here in a while. So if we could just get what we came for
Jen: You can't read the sign, can you?
Charlie: Oh, come on. Who could read that from here? That's like china from here.
Jen: (reading the sign) "Gift to the class of 1990, in anticipation of a world without aids."
Charlie: I was close.
Jen: You are totally nearsighted, aren't you?
Charlie: I'm not nearsighted. I just-- I just can't read really teeny things far away.
Jen: Like--I don't know-- um, subtitles?
Charlie: Yes. Subtitles, all right? I hate subtitles because I can't read them without my glasses. You satisfied?
Jen: Yes. Actually, I think that this little field trip was a good idea because now I finally know something about you.
Charlie: What, that I'm nearsighted? Trust me. They make me look like a total dork.
Jen: You are a total dork, a vain dork. Come here and kiss me. (they sink to the floor. Charlie snakes his hand into the glass and grabs a condom.)
[Frat House  Jack is speaking with Blossom and the other brothers.]
Jack: I don't want to be wanted just to-- to fill some kind of quota.
Blossom: Well, you know the reason we first came after you, Jack, but the truth is, man, we really like you. Don't be thrown by this quota thing. Yeah, you're filling one. I'm filling one. He's filling one. Everybody in this room has qualities and experiences that are unique. That's why Sigmas kick butt.
Jack: Yeah, but you want a gay guy in the house
Blossom: Yes, we do, but you're the one we want.
Jack: All right, but do you understand the reality of what you're gonna get here? I mean, my boyfriend, Tobey, when he comes to visit, I mean, he's gonna be eating here and partying here, too, and if I live in the house, you know, he's gonna be sleeping here and showering here.
Blossom: Jack... Tobey is welcome. Even if you don't live at the house, if he needs a place to crash, this is his home, too. That's what it means to be a brother.
Jack: Cool.
Blossom: So what do you say, Jack?
Jack: I say sign me up!
Blossom: Welcome to the house, brother.
Jack: Thanks, man.
Brother: All right! Yeah! (they all cheer and life Jack up on their shoulders.)
[Restaurant  Brecher walks into the kitchen and up to Pacey.]
Pacey: Hey. I'm done. 42 pounds of peeled and sliced potatoes. Now, may I please cook them?
Brecher: Quiet.
Pacey: Ok.
Brecher: (examining the sliced potatoes) Well, now. Looks like you started getting the hang of it toward the end here. There's hope for you.
Pacey: Ah, thanks. (Brecher takes the huge bowl of potatoes and dumps the entire thing in the trash.) What are you do-- that was hours of work, man!
Brecher: I don't serve potato chips in my restaurant.
Pacey: Really? So then why did you waste my time and your money having me do that?
Brecher: Training.
Pacey: Ah. Ok. (Brecher grabs Pacey's hand with the knife in it and grabs him forcefully over to a cutting board.)
Brecher: (handing him a potato like object  a truffle) Here, wack job. Slice.
Pacey: What is that?
Brecher: Forget about what it is. Slice it, just like the potato. (Pacey professionally slices it thin) That's not bad. You're learning.
Pacey: Now would you mind telling me what this is all about?
Brecher: Behold the white truffle-- so fresh that you can actually see the little hoof marks from the pig that dug it out of the I-talian soil. These babies go for $1,200 a pound.
Pacey: What? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Brecher: Now, if I let some headstrong kid get anywhere near them without proper training, I really would be a wack job. Taste. (he pulls a slice of truffle out of a pot and gives it to Pacey)
Pacey: (eating) Ok. I get it.
Brecher: Karen has more discipline and motivation than a slack-ass like you will ever have, but this isn't kick boxing, and that's why I wouldn't give her your job.
Pacey: (laughing) She wanted my job.
Brecher: Yeah. You're not gonna pick this up through sheer will. Cooking is a craft which can't be taught. However, it can be learned.
Pacey: What does that mean?
Brecher: Clean up your station. You're cooking the truffle ravioli tomorrow.
[Worthington  Joey enters her dorm building and checks her mail. As she moves to the steps, she sees Dawson sitting there.]
Dawson: How was your weekend?
Joey: Strange and unusual. How about yours?
Dawson: Strange and unpleasant.
Joey: You ok?
Dawson: Not really. I alienated my parents, and now I find myself adrift in a sea of uncertainty. But, hey, what else is new, right?
Joey: Can I do something to help?
Dawson: Yeah. You can tell me that I, without a doubt, made the right decision and that this decision will have nothing but positive repercussions for the rest of my life.
Joey: Dawson, I can't do that.
Dawson: Damn.
Joey: But I can tell you this. There is no right or wrong, just consequences of your actions.
Dawson: What the hell does that mean?
Joey: Well, I'm not sure exactly. My sociology professor said that last week, and I thought it sounded pretty profound at the time.
Dawson: Great. I should just get on a plane right now.
Joey: We can't. We tried that already. We can't seem to get you on that plane. You're like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. How about a cup of coffee?
Dawson: Sure. It's about time I got acquainted with this city of yours.
Joey: So how was Capeside?
Dawson: Same old same old. They're tearing down the new rialto, building, like, a new 16-theater multiplex or something.
Joey: I guess it just goes to show you.
Dawson: What?
Joey: You can never go home again.
[Capeside  The Mitch Mobile. Mitch is driving at night, back from the grocery store. He is singing Drift Away and eating an ice cream cone. Suddenly his top scoop falls off. He tries to reach it, but can't. He lowers his body to reach it and when he sits up, lights from an oncoming car brighten his face. A horn blares and it blacks out. End credits.]


"The Skull in the Sculpture"
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Open: Junk yard. Two drunken guys are climbing a fence with barbed wire)
CHUNKY: My dad thinks I'm selfish, so I want to steal him some spare parts for his birthday.
DUANE: You're a good son, man.
CHUNKY: Hey, dude, I'm not moving.
DUANE: Dude, your jacket is caught on the barbed wire. Bounce around a little bit, and you'll come loose.
CHUNKY: (falls to the ground. laughs) That worked great.
(The two begin staggering around stacks of compressed vehicles)
DUANE: So, what kind of car does he have?
CHUNKY: Old one. Toyota FJ-40. He loves that thing. More than me, that's for sure.
DUANE: Check it out!
CHUNKY: Oh, wow! (The two run towards a stack of cars) Can you imagine if I gave him that golden side mirror? I could glue it on his truck. (begins pulling out side mirror) Got to be gentle. It's coming. (Mirror comes off and blood begins to run out of the car)
DUANE: The car is bleeding.
CHUNKY: There's something back there.
(Pulls out sheet of glass to reveal a skull. Both scream.)
(Cut to a restaurant bar. Sweets is sitting at the bar. Angela walks up)
ANGELA: Okay, look, just to be clear, I asked you out for a drink to talk, not because I'm desperate for male company.
SWEETS: You think of me as male company?
WAITER: (off camera) Can I get you anything?
ANGELA: Vodka up, please. And my grandson here will have another of whatever that is.
SWEETS: Oh, sidecar, but no, I'm fine. Okay, one more, one more. I'm cabbing it. (turns to Angela who is now leaning on the bar facing the rest of the room) You just got divorced and broke up with your fiancé. It's totally understandable that you don't feel like s*x.
ANGELA: I feel like s*x.
SWEETS: Oh.
ANGELA: s*x is what I feel like. Now, I could jump Hodgins, but doesn't seem fair somehow. Do you agree?
SWEETS: Well, what matters is that it doesn't seem fair to you.
ANGELA: Oh, I hate it when shrinks do that.
(both turn back to the bar)
ANGELA: Look, I've been alone now for quite a while, which is not like me.
SWEETS: Yeah, well, when we open ourselves emotionally and get hurt, we're reluctant to allow ourselves to be that vulnerable again.
ANGELA: It's been, like, six weeks.
SWEETS: That's a-a...
ANGELA: Long time.
SWEETS: (looks down uncomfortably) Yes, of course it is.
ANGELA: The longest I've gone without since I lost my virginity. At age 16.
SWEETS: Hmm.
ANGELA: Which is the normal age.
SWEETS: Sometimes older is just fine, too.
ANGELA: I'm not promiscuous, Sweets. I don't sleep with just anybody. I do require an emotional connection. Spiritual, actually.
SWEETS: Mm-hmm.
ANGELA: It's spiritual to me. And fun, of course. Who doesn't like s*x, right?
SWEETS: Hey! Didn't we order these drinks a long time ago?
ANGELA: You're right.
SWEETS: (looks at Angela in surprise) About what?
ANGELA: I have been protecting myself. Without the risk of pain, there can be no possibility of pleasure or joy or love.
SWEETS: Yes, yes, and-and regaining that willingness to take a risk-- that can take time.
ANGELA: No.
SWEETS: No?
ANGELA: I am done protecting myself. I'm ready to move on. You're good.
SWEETS: Hey.
(both turn back to the bar as the waiter brings their drinks)
ANGELA: You really are.
WAITER: Here you go SWEETS: Thank you.
ANGELA: (raising her glass for a toast) To love, huh? And joy. (they clink glasses. Angela raises her voice and looks around) And s*x!
(Sweets laughs awkwardly)
(Cut to the Medico-Legal-Lab - in front of Forensics Platform. Brennan and Hodgins are looking at the crushed car with the skull as Cam, Daisey, and Angela stand behind them. Hodgins is using a flashlight.)
HODGINS: Looks like someone with a crooked nose was trying to get rid of our friend here.
BRENNAN: There's no way to know that the killer had a crooked nose.
DAISY: You mean, the mob? It was a mob hit.
CAM: He clearly wasn't wearing a seat belt.
HODGINS: We're going to need the Jaws of Life to pry this guy out of here.
(Cam and Hodgins begin walking around the car)
BRENNAN: No. That could compromise the remains.
DAISY: It seems that any viable examination pre-extraction is impossible, unless somebody has X-ray vision. (laughs awkwardly)
CAM: (to Brennan) I meant to warn you that Ms. Wick came up in the rotation.
DAISY: This time you'll be glad I'm here, Dr. Brennan, I promise.
(Brennan and Angela exchange a look of annoyance)
DAISY: The height of the nasal root points to a Caucasian. The large brow ridges suggest a male.
BRENNAN: We need cause of death.
(Angela begins to walk around the car)
DAISY: Of the Caucasian male? What can be seen of the temporal, zygomatic and frontal bones indicates that they're in multiple fragments, possibly from the crushing of the car.
CAM: We have access to blood and fluids. I'll run a tox screen.
BRENNAN: (begins to walk around car. All four are now on seperate sides) Booth is checking the records at the junkyard to see who brought in the car and when it was processed.
HODGINS: I'll use an endoscope to retrieve any particulates without disturbing the remains.
(Brennan's cell rings. She answers and walks away)
BRENNAN: Brennan.
ANGELA: (to Hodgins) Hey, have you been seeing anybody?
HODGINS: Listen, I don't want to be rude, but I just don't think that's any of your business.
ANGELA: I haven't.
HODGINS: Me, either.
ANGELA: But I'm going to start.
HODGINS: Right, yeah. Me, too. I mean, like, right away.
ANGELA: Sweets agrees that it's time.
HODGINS: Sweets?
ANGELA: We shouldn't fear putting our hearts out there.
HODGINS: Sweets.
DAISY: That's so beautiful.
CAM: And so inappropriate over a decomposing body.
(Brennan walks by)
BRENNAN: Booth found out who delivered the car to the junkyard for crushing.
(Cut to sidewalk at night. Booth and Brennan come walking around the corner)
BOOTH: Invoice was made out to B & B Enterprises. This was the sixth car that was crushed and sent back to this address.
BRENNAN: Oh, so you think there might be five more bodies?
BOOTH: Well, you know what? If this is mob-related, and we bring down the big boys...
BRENNAN: Yeah.
BOOTH:...we will sell the movie rights for a fortune.
BRENNAN: But what if it's not the mob?
BOOTH: Come on. Do the math, Bones.
BRENNAN: Well, the math wouldn't indicate motive or identify a suspect. And you haven't even provided enough variables...
BOOTH: It's a figure of speech, Bones, all right?
(They stop in front of a building)
BOOTH: Here we are. Woah, woah, woah, woah (pulls Brennan back who was walking towards stairs) What goes first?
BRENNAN: Gun goes first.
BOOTH: That's right.
(They start walking up the stairs)
BRENNAN: But if you get shot?
BOOTH: Don't say things like that. You're gonna jinx me, all right?
BRENNAN: Well, if you're relying on superstition for safety, perhaps I should carry the gun.
BOOTH: (stopping in front of a set of glass doors) No, you are definitely not carrying a gun.(pulls out lock pick) Give me some space, all right? (leans down and begins to pick the lock)
BRENNAN: Is that legal?
BOOTH: Look, if anybody asks, the door was open.
BRENNAN: (whispering) No, it isn't. (Booth looks at her and she realizes what he means) Ah... Right. (Booth pulls out gun and they enter)
(cut to the interior of the building. More crushed cars are in the room as they enter. Movement is heard in the background. A woman comes from a room around the corner)
BOOTH: Okay, what the hell are you supposed to be?
BRENNAN: (pointing at the ground) Booth?
BOOTH: What?
(camera cuts to show a large blood stain)
BRENNAN: Look at this.
BOOTH: What is it?
HELEN: Blood.
(cut to opening credits)
(Cut to: In a gallery. Camera pans over more crushed vehicles and an image of Geoffrey. FBI forensics team is working throughout the room. Brennan is looking at a video while Booth looks at a sculpture nearby)
BRENNAN: The artist did a series of six sculptures over the past two years.
BOOTH: (holding a pamplet) Sculptures? Whoa. These things are going for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
BRENNAN: (as they begin to walk through the room) All cultures put a great value on art.
BOOTH: Yeah, art. A nice bowl of fruit, uh, dogs playing poker. If I sold all the crap that was in my garage, I could retire. I'd make a fortune.
(They stop by a sculpture. Helen is standing in front of them)
HELEN: Geoffrey's work is a brilliant examination of consumerism and the destruction of the soul.
BRENNAN: I see twisted metal.
HELEN: Well, you need to look beneath the surface.
BOOTH: Oh, we did, and we found a dead body, which is exactly why you're not going anywhere.
(FBI tech Marcus Geier walks up)
MARCUS: Agent Booth?
BOOTH: Yeah.
MARCUS: The luminol is showing evidence of blood all over the floor.
HELEN: Of course it is.
BOOTH: Excuse me?
HELEN: Kiko was here.
BOOTH: Kiko?
HELEN: Kiko, the performance artist. Pig's blood is an integral and crucial part of her work.
BRENNAN: Is that even legal?
BOOTH: Well, we'll decide what's pig and what isn't. Pull some samples.
MARCUS: Okay. (walks away)
HELEN: I've already called my lawyer.
BOOTH: That's great. Tell him to meet you down at the FBI offices.
HELEN:(laughing) Oh, I didn't call him for me. You see how much these works are worth. You are liable for any damages.
BOOTH: (laughing) Damage?
BRENNAN: They're crushed cars.
BOOTH: They're wrecks.
HELEN: Fortunately, your ignorance and lack of appreciation of Geoffrey's work don't affect its value.
BOOTH: (to the room at large) Okay, all right, guys. Careful handling the junk. Apparently, it is art. All right?
ROXIE: (walking into the room and stopping to address Booth and Brennan) Uh, perhaps I could help? I'm Roxie Lyon, Geoffrey Thorne's assistant.
BRENNAN: Does the artist make a habit of encasing corpses within his sculptures?
ROXIE: Excuse me?
BOOTH: Well, we found one of these crushed cars and traced it back here to this address.
MARCUS: (walking back over to the group) We've done the best we can without ripping one of these things apart.
BOOTH: No accordion-dead bodies?
MARCUS: The cadaver dogs can identify human blood. They didn't find any.
ROXIE: (walking to Helen)Oh, my God. Helen?
HELEN: Yes?
ROXIE: Do you think Geoffrey might have actually done it?
HELEN: No. That was all just depressed artist talk, Roxie. You should know that. You were a depressed artist yourself.
BOOTH: (walking over with Brennan) Hello? Do you want to explain this to me?
ROXIE: Uh, recently Geoffrey's been talking about finding a way to make himself part of the art.
BRENNAN: Do you mean literally?
HELEN: The ultimate artistic act.
ROXIE: Geoffrey was depressed, and he said he felt like he'd reached his limit as an artist.
BOOTH: We'd like to show you a picture of the remains, only if you're up for it.
BRENNAN: I suggest you don't look at the person, but rather this distinct ring.
HELEN: That's Geoffrey.
ROXIE: I know that ring. I designed it myself. It's Geoffrey.
HELEN: (looking up and speaking as if to herself) Bravo, Geoffrey.
BRENNAN: You are an extremely unlikable woman.
BOOTH: Mr. Thorne have any enemies?
HELEN: Why? It's obvious he did this himself.
BRENNAN: To you, perhaps, but we actually require evidence.
ROXIE: Anton DeLuca.
(Booth looks at her meaningfully)
ROXIE: He's an artist and a rival of Geoffrey's. They had a pretty big argument here the other night.
BOOTH: About what?
HELEN: What all artists argue about-- money.
(Cut to the Medico-Legal forensics lab. Cam is working at a desk, Hodgins walks in carrying a large piece of machinery)
HODGINS: You know what this is?
CAM: Jaws of Life.
HODGINS: 23,000 pounds per square inch of raw prying power.
CAM: You really want to be the one to use that, don't you?
HODGINS: It's not displaced sexual frustration.
CAM: Of course not. (turns to look at Hodgins)
HODGINS: I am totally cool if Angela wants to date already, or, I mean, again.
CAM: pointing to the other room) Right. You do know the point is to remove the human remains from inside the car with minimal disruption of the evidence?
(Hodgins puts the Jaws of Life on a table)
CAM: (turning back to her computer) Though, these tox results are suggesting suicide.
HODGINS: (walking over to her desk) You got these from the tissue samples?
CAM: Mostly skin, some brain matter.
(camera shows computer screen with data on each drug listed)
CAM: Clonazepam, lamotrigine, quetiapine, venlafaxine, (turns to look at Hodgins) hydrocodone, oxycodone and codeine.
HODGINS: Wow. Anti-anxiety drugs, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, antidepressants and painkillers.
CAM: He was under psychiatric care. Even spent a week in the psych ward last March.
HODGINS: So, our victim could very well have been dead from an overdose before he was crushed.
CAM: Can't tell for sure. Long-time abusers build up a tolerance, so, this could have been a typical Wednesday night for the guy.
HODGINS: Best way to find out is to crack her open, baby.
(picks up Jaws of Life. Cam looks at him with a questioning look)
HODGINS: I didn't mean "baby."
CAM: Carefully, Dr. Hodgins. Like removing a baby bird from an egg.
(cut to the floor in front of the forensics platform. Hodgins puts on safety glasses)
HODGINS: Stand back, ladies. This is about to get medieval.
(Angela smiles as Daisey looks uncomfortable. Caroline walks in as Hodgins is about to begin work. She is followed by Helen, Roxie, and a man, most likely the lawyer.)
CAROLINE: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Sorry, cheri. Apparently, this is an historic piece of art.
HODGINS: It's a hard car shell with a gooey corpse filling.
DAISY: I've already collected textile, tissue and bone samples.
CAROLINE: That was before I got here.
(begins walking around the sculpture)
CAROLINE: Here on in, this is an historic piece of art. These fine people persuaded a judge of that and got a temporary injunction.
HODGINS: Oh, this sucks.
ANGELA: Roxie?
ROXIE: Angie?
ANGELA: Roxie!
(the two walk to each other and hug. Cam walks past and over to Hodgins and Caroline)
ANGELA: My God...
ROXIE: Hi! What are you doing here?
CAM: What's going on?
HODGINS: Those two are old friends from college-- if that's the same Roxie.
(Angela and Roxie walk off)
DAISY: Luckily, I took initiative and got those samples before the injunction.
CAM: Injunction?
HODGINS: This heap is considered art.
CAM: Well, it's... gorgeous. Where does this leave our investigation?
CAROLINE: You can still examine it. You just can't disrupt it in any way. Don't worry. This is only temporary. We'll see how artistic people are feeling when it starts stinking. Just don't scratch it.
CAM: Don't scratch the crushed automobile, which encases a rotting, dead body?
CAROLINE: Good! We understand each other.
(loud noise as Hodgins puts the Jaws of Life back on the table)
(cut to a warehouse that's being used as an artists studio. Anton Deluca is working on a sculpture)
ANTON: Geoffrey Thorne dead? This is a... great day for the art world.
(Booth and Brennan turn to follow him as he works throughout the scene)
BOOTH: Yeah, well, last time you were seen together, you were arguing.
ANTON: Well, we never saw each other without arguing, so...
BRENNAN: You disliked Geoffrey Thorne?
ANTON: Well, let's just say between his work and his guts... I don't know which I hated more.
BOOTH: Yeah, well, artistically speaking, crushing him up in his own work, that would be very, uh, symbolic.
ANTON: Is that what happened? (launging) Oh, that, that's hilarious. He crushed himself inside one of his stupid car sculptures? An exhibitionist right to the bitter end.
ANTON: How Po-Mo.
BOOTH: Po-Mo?
BRENNAN: Uh, Post Modern.
ANTON: Let me tell you, Geoffrey's hermetic aestheticism was choked with tawdry pastiche. He had plastic intentions and weak enterprise.
BOOTH: All right, someone I understand less than you.
BRENNAN: This is asymmetrical and yet still pleasing to the eye.
BOOTH: Okay, I take that back. Why don't you just say it's... pretty?
ANTON: I don't do pretty.
BOOTH: Okay. Simmer down there, Picasso. You get a compliment, you be polite.
ANTON: I don't do polite either.
BRENNAN: Maybe that's why you're broke.
ANTON: Who gave you my name? Was it that Kabuki ghoul, Helen Bridenbecker?
BRENNAN: Shouldn't you be trying harder to look innocent?
BOOTH: Yeah. How long have you and Thorne hated each other?
ANTON: You can write down, since before the big bang.
BRENNAN: Oh, no. There was no "before" before the big bang, because time didn't exist. If there are no organizing properties...
BOOTH: Bones, I'm just going to write down, it's been a while. All right? So, why were you arguing at the gallery?
BRENNAN: We heard it was about money.
ANTON: Well, I might have said he was a sell-out. Usually do. But I didn't think to kill him. Now it's too late, right?
BOOTH: Well, if you didn't kill him, then, uh, who did?
ANTON: I'd look at his girlfriend if I were you.
(Brennan and Booth confused)
BRENNAN: No one has mentioned a girlfriend.
ANTON: Roxie. His "assistant." He said he was gonna leave all his money to her. I mean, this is kind of basic stuff you guys should know, right?
(cut to the sculpture in the medico-legal lab. Daisy is standing behind Cam, who is inserting a scope into the sculpture)
DAISY: Did you have like buckets of coffee this morning? You're very shaky.
CAM: Could you take a step back, please?
(Cam begins using the scope as Daisy watches the video feed)
DAISY: A little more. Just a little more. Like tip-toeing mice.
CAM: Oh, rats.
DAISY: Do you want me to try? Let me try. I'm very dexterous.
(Brennan walks over looking around the room. Cam sighs and hands Daisy the scope)
DAISY: Oh, you won't be sorry.
(Brennan empties the bucket over the sculpture. Beetles crawl through the sculpture.)
BRENNAN: I was going to say that I had an accident over here, but I don't like lying.
CAM: You dumped a bucket full of domestic beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
BRENNAN: Within 30 hours. Am I fired?
CAM: Au contraire Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.
DAISY: I'm in!
BRENNAN: Uh, good work, Ms. Wick.
(Brennan and Cam walk over to where Daisy is working)
DAISY: Well, we could've been here hours ago if Dr. Saroyan would have given me the endoscope sooner.
CAM: Thanks for mentioning that.
DAISY: There's too much flesh to really get an idea of the bone damage.
BRENNAN: 30 hours. (walks away)
(cut to an interrogation room. Booth is inteviewing Roxie as Sweets observes and talks to Booth through an earpiece)
ROXIE: I was Geoffrey Thorne's assistant for almost four years.
SWEETS: Okay, I suggest you start with the mundane, and then work yourself up to the sexual stuff.
BOOTH: So did you have a sexual relationship with your boss?
SWEETS: Okay, that's the total opposite of my suggestion.
ROXIE: No. No.
BOOTH: So what was the nature of your relationship?
ROXIE: I assisted Geoffrey. I handled the details of his day-to-day life. Are you sure it's Geoffrey?
SWEETS: Prevaricate, keep her guessing.
BOOTH: Yes, we're positive.
SWEETS: (sighs) Why am I here?
BOOTH: As his personal assistant did you get him his drugs?
ROXIE: If you mean his prescriptions, then... yes, I picked them up for him and I reminded him to take them.
SWEETS: Ask her if Thorne was clinically depressed.
BOOTH: He was depressed, right?
ROXIE: Yes. He was... suicidal. Seeing a shrink.
BOOTH: (looking towards the one-way mirror) That's why you're here.
ROXIE: Because you think Geoffrey took an overdose?
BOOTH: If he killed himself, I mean, wouldn't he have left a suicide note?
ROXIE: Yeah, I would think that he would have... left me a message.
BOOTH: (flipping through papers) Look, if you weren't sleeping with Thorne, then why did he name you the sole beneficiary of his estate?
ROXIE: Geoffrey's will?
BOOTH: Yeah, it's... about one million dollars. Look at that.
(Booth puts a page in front of her)
ROXIE: I had no idea that he was going to do that.
SWEETS: Perhaps jealousy is her motive for killing Thorne. Why else would she deny sleeping with him?
BOOTH: I don't think so.
ROXIE: I swear.
BOOTH: No, there was another reason why you weren't sleeping with Thorne.mIsn't that right, Roxie?
ROXIE: Angela told you, didn't she?
SWEETS: Told us what?
BOOTH: Why don't you tell me.
ROXIE: I'm gay. I'm a lesbian. I've never been with a man in my life and I never will.
SWEETS: oh, that changes everything.
(the medico-legal lab. Booth, Brennan and Angela are walking down the stairs to the main floor)
BRENNAN: So, according to his will, Roxie stands to inherit Thorne's entire estate.
ANGELA: She said they were close.
BOOTH: Well, people usually leave money like that to a wife or a lover.
ANGELA: I don't think so.
(they continue walking through a hallway)
BOOTH: Because?
ANGELA: Because Roxie's an old friend and she'd have told me.
BRENNAN: Well, she says she's a lesbian.
BOOTH: Delicacy, Bones.
BRENNAN: What? It's not an affliction, Booth.
ANGELA: Yes, Roxie is gay. At least she was when we were together.
BOOTH: In school?
ANGELA: Yes.
BOOTH: Oh, you heard rumors.
ANGELA: No, I have firsthand knowledge.
BOOTH: Oh, you walked in on her, that's awkward.
ANGELA: (stopping in front of a station and turning to address Booth) No, we were together, for over a year.
BOOTH: Wow. You and, uh, Roxie?
BRENNAN: You have a problem with that?
BOOTH: No. I was just processing the information there, that's all, and in doing so, I was envisioning you and her, you know, together, and, well, not to... well, together, but... Really?
BRENNAN: Women tend not to be as rigid in their sexual identities as men.
BOOTH: Weren't we talking about murder, here?
BRENNAN: Did she ever show any interest in men?
ANGELA: No. And she would never kill anybody.
BRENNAN: You haven't been close in a long time.
ANGELA: She hasn't changed.
BRENNAN: Except that now she's rich.
BOOTH: Yeah, and before Thorne was killed, she wasn't rich.
ANGELA: Roxie never cared about money. (looking at Brennan) I thought that you didn't speculate.
BRENNAN: That doesn't preclude pursuing a logical line of inquiry.
ANGELA: We still don't even know that it was murder. Thorne wrote about the need to become one with his work. He was ill. The logical signs point to suicide, don't they?
BOOTH: You're right. Ange, we're sorry. We didn't mean to upset you.
ANGELA: (sighs) I have work to do. Okay? (walks off)
(cut to the main floor of the medico-legal lab. Daisy is examining the skull within the sculpture using a scope)
DAISY: Here's the C2 axis. A little further, the C1 atlas. We're almost to the cranium.
CAM: (standing behind Daisy) Nice. Now maybe you'll be able to rescue the princess.
DAISY: (laughing) That's funny. Everyone here is so nice. You know, I think I may have initially come off as a bit too needy. My family was pretty dysfunctional, so... I tend to want a work environment to fulfill certain needs.
CAM: (cutting Daisy off) Perhaps some therapy might help.
DAISY: What a thoughtful suggestion. I always wanted a sister.
CAM: (turning to look off camera) Dr. Brennan, Ms. Wick and I were just observing the handiwork of your beetles.
(Brennan walks over)
DAISY: They did a beautiful job of cleaning the bones, but half of the remains are still obscured by the metal.
BRENNAN: The victim's right iliac crest shows a simple fracture.
DAISY: I also found microfractures, extending from his right ribs, five through ten, down his right greater trochanter.
BRENNAN: Very good.
DAISY: Really? And they were really small.
BRENNAN: Microfractures are by definition small.
(Cam rolls her eyes)
BRENNAN: What does this damage indicate?
DAISY: A test. Okay... The damage is inconclusive. Um, the fractures could easily be explained by the crushing of the car, but some could be the result of an attack or a fall.
BRENNAN: I agree.
DAISY: (whispering to Cam) She agrees.
(Cam smiles and nods. Hodgins walks down the stairs from the forensic platform)
HODGINS: The victim's clothing shows traces of calcium oxide, ferric oxide and magnesium oxide. (he walks over to a computer station. Cam, Brennan, and Daisy follow) It wasn't found on the car seats or the carpet, just pressed into the fabric of his shirt, front and back.
CAM: From what?
HODGINS: It could be from stone if he was sculpting. It could be he was lying on gravel or about a hundred other things. We can't say without getting further access to the interior of the car.
CAROLINE: (walking over to the group) Which access you were expressly denied by a federal judge, a federal judge who turned red and then blue and then some other color I have never seen before when he heard that flesh-eating beetles had somehow infested said work of art.
BRENNAN: Domestic beetles were not specifically forbidden on the injunction.
CAROLINE: I don't suppose "spirit of the law" means anything to you? (the four shrug and shake their heads) That little Kabuki lady started screaming like you peed on the Mona Lisa, that you compromised the integrity of the piece. That little stunt turned good opinion from the judge against us.
CAM: How long have we got?
CAROLINE: Two days to find evidence of foul play.
HODGINS: And after that?
CAROLINE: The question goes to the court and we grow old and die before a decision is made. And if there is a murder, that murderer walks around free. Ideas?
DAISY: I will think about it until my head explodes.
CAROLINE: This one's a keeper.
(cut to Angela and Roxie in an art studio. They wander about as Angela looks at various paintings)
ROXIE: Geoffrey let me use part of his studio.
ANGELA: Roxie, these are wonderful.
ROXIE: Thanks, Angie.
ANGELA: What does Helen say?
ROXIE: We're talking about an exhibition.
ANGELA: That's great. When was your last show?
ROXIE: Eight years ago, when we were together.
(they laugh)
ROXIE: I don't know, is it too sappy to say that you were my muse, or perhaps my entire source of self-confidence as an artist?
(Angela turns to look at her and then goes back to looking at a painting)
ROXIE: Your people think I killed Geoffrey.
ANGELA: I can't talk to you about an ongoing murder investigation.
ROXIE: If you can't prove it was a suicide, I'm going to spend the rest of my life being Geoffrey Thorne's murderer.
ANGELA: That could jack up the price of your work, right? Sorry. Roxie...
(Angela pulls out a painting of herself)
ROXIE: Yeah, that's actually the first piece that caught Helen's eye. She wanted to buy it from me for herself.
ANGELA: Why didn't you sell this?
ROXIE: Some things aren't for sale.
(they playfully brush their shoulders for a moment)
ANGELA: I remember sitting for this.
ROXIE: Happiest time of my life.
ANGELA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have to go.
ROXIE: Why?
(Angela grabs her purse)
ANGELA: I know how to prove that Geoffrey Thorne committed suicide.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(cut to the floor of the medico-legal lab. Angela, Daisy, and CAM are standing in front of a giant machine that is set up over the sculpture)
ANGELA: This type of device can be used to scan boxcars, shipping containers, anything metal where items can be hidden.
DAISY: Amazing it is, this machine you have.
(Cam and Angela look at her)
DAISY: Star Wars?
CAM: Youth doesn't excuse everything, Ms. Wick. So, you're feeding the scans into the Angelator?
ANGELA: Every crease and fold, yeah.
DAISY: We have less than 40 hours, you know.
CAM: We're well aware of the time, we don't need a countdown.
ANGELA: Then, I'll recalibrate and get a digital rendering of the bones inside, which I can enhance.
DAISY: You've found out how to show what bone damage came from the actual crushing of the car.
ANGELA: Factoring in the pounds per square inch of force exerted by the car crusher.
DAISY: Oh, I hope you've included the car's frame and the tensile strength of the victim's skeletal structure.
ANGELA: I'll make a note.
CAM: Well, I programmed my phone to get the five-day forecast.
(cut to the Angelator. Angela is showing Booth and Brennan her simulation of the crushed car)
ANGELA: Okay, take a look at this. Here we have our car, right?
It had a low-carbon steel frame with a yield strength of 22,450 psi. So, since I know the hydraulic crusher imparts 163 tons of force, first horizontally, then in a 32-degree curling motion, I was able to verify the source of every single ripple on the surface of the crushed car, which then gave me the data to play the crushing backwards.
BOOTH: How did you do that?
ANGELA: Daisy provided me with the approximate tensile strength of each of Geoffrey's bones, plugged in the bone fragments' final positions, and based on those, correlated each injury as the body was moved through the car as it was crushed.
BOOTH: God, I really hope that guy didn't know what was happening to him.
ANGELA: His bones sustained 88 fractures, all of which can be explained by the crushing in the car.
BOOTH: Suicide.
ANGELA: Most likely, yeah.
(a buzzer is heard)
BOOTH: What's that?
ANGELA: Um... this run included the last of the data. (she looks disappointed) Oh, no.
BOOTH: What?
BRENNAN: There's an 89th fracture.
(a cut in the skull is highlighted)
BRENNAN: The fracture there on his occipital... it was not caused by the car being crushed.
BOOTH: What caused it?
BRENNAN: I need to examine the skull.
ANGELA: It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wanted to prove it wasn't murder.
BRENNAN: But it is. The 89th fracture proves that Geoffrey Thorn was murdered.
(An office break room. Caroline is pouring a cup of coffee and talking on her cell phone)
CAROLINE: Okay, I got the injunction removed. You are free to crack open the car and remove the remains.
(Booth and BRENNAN are in Booth's SUV. Booth is driving and has his cell on speaker phone)
BOOTH: Thanks, Caroline, you are da bomb.
BRENNAN: Why is she a bomb?
BOOTH: No, da bomb.
BRENNAN: Wait, what changed? It was a million dollar piece of art yesterday, and today, it's a piece of junk.
CAROLINE: Cherie, you proved murder. That changed it from a work of art into a crime scene.
BRENNAN: This is crazy, I don't understand. And I'm not used to not understanding things.
BOOTH: Legally speaking, all that matters is that it's a crime scene. Isn't that right, Caroline?
CAROLINE: That's right. Get in there and solve the murder, just like always.
BRENNAN: That I understand.
BOOTH: Thanks.
(cut to the Medico-Legal lab floor. Hodgins prepares to cut into the sculpture with the Jaws-of-Life while Cam, Daisy, and Brennan observe)
HODGINS: Stand back. I am going in. (he peels back enough of the car to reveal the skull. He pulls out other parts of the car)
BRENNAN: Careful. Okay. Now, what we want to do here is remove the skull very carefully.
(Daisy goes to pull out the skull)
BRENNAN: Carefully.
(Daisy puts too much pressure on the skull and it shatters in her hands. They all stare in horror)
CAM: I can't believe you did that.
HODGINS: Bummer.
DAISY: Usually, when you say "we", you mean me. I'm so sorry. I'll put it together. I will stay up all night.
BRENNAN: (looking very angry) I'll do it.
DAISY: Well, I will assist you every step of the way. I will not leave your side.
BRENNAN: I would prefer to do it alone.
(cut to the interior of Booth's vehicle. He and Angela are driving)
ANGELA: Am I under arrest?
BOOTH: Nope. You're one of the good guys, all right? Look up Anton DeLuca on the FBI database.
ANGELA: That's Geoffrey Thorne's big rival, huh? (she pulls up a list of information) He's a forger?
BOOTH: You got to be kidding me. Under the alias of Lucas Danton? I mean, this guy really loves himself.
ANGELA: Yeah, two years in prison. Forging Francis Bacon, Lucien Freud. Must be pretty good.
BOOTH: All right, so I got a dead artist and a forger who hates him. That's got to cheer you up. I mean, your friend is no longer our prime suspect.
ANGELA: Thanks, Booth.
BOOTH: Ah-ha, Any time.
ANGELA: So, does it freak you out?
BOOTH: What?
ANGELA: You know, that Roxie and I were a couple.
BOOTH: No. I mean, come on, you had feelings for somebody.
ANGELA: I'm surprised.
BOOTH: Why, because you think I'm some kind of lunkhead cop?
ANGELA: No, I just...
BOOTH: All right. Uh... look, my Aunt Ruth had a roommate, okay? She was my favorite aunt. She and Franny, they'd take me to the ballpark, to the movies. And I heard talk when I was a kid. Beat up my friend, Pete, because of it. Then, I found out it was true.
ANGELA: And...?
BOOTH: I already said she was my favorite aunt. And Franny... well, you know, she had box seats for the Phillies games. I mean, come on, it doesn't get any better than that, right?
ANGELA: Right.
BOOTH: So, you and Roxie... hey. You know what I mean?
ANGELA: Yeah. So, you brought me along. What can I do to help you?
BOOTH: I want you to be an artist, okay, and, uh, keep me from looking like an idiot.
ANGELA: I'm not positive I can do both.
(they exchange grins)
(cut to Anton DeLuca's studio. Booth is leaning on a pole while Anton sits at a table)
BOOTH: So, we subpoenaed your bank records, and you're not exactly a starving artist. Where did you get the money?
ANGELA: (looking at some paintings) Hey, Booth.
BOOTH: Yeah?
ANGELA: The brush strokes on this painting match the brush strokes on Thorne's car sculptures.
BOOTH: Hmm, so you were forging Thorne's work. That's why you two were arguing.
ANGELA: I didn't say these brush strokes are like the ones on the car sculptures. I'm saying that they are the same brush strokes.
ANTON: You have a good eye.
ANGELA: Brush strokes are like fingerprints. You can't fake them. DeLuca here is the guy who painted Geoffrey Thorne's car sculptures.
(Booth turns to Angela slightly confused)
BOOTH: You're positive?
ANGELA: I'm positive.
BOOTH: Okay, I can roll with this. (turns back to Anton) You want recognition for your brilliant work. Thorne says no, (raps the table for emphasis) you kill him.
ANGELA: Oh, so good--cuff him.
BOOTH: Right.
ANTON: What, so Roxie can walk?
BOOTH: Hey, watch it.
ANTON: A) That work is anything but brilliant. Painting Thorne's cars was like a day job to subsidize my real art, and B... why would I kill my main source of income, you lummox?
BOOTH: Yeah, a lummox who's got enough to hold you for 24 hours, pal. (cuffs Anton)
ANTON: (to Angela) When this case falls apart and I get out tomorrow, you want to grab some dinner or something?
ANGELA: (laughing) You're kidding.
ANTON: Well, I hear the gate swings both ways. Maybe we can get a little threesome action.
ANTON: You, me, hot Roxie?
BOOTH: Hey! (slams Anton's head down on the table) Okay, all right. If you're gonna hit on Angela, you should do it with a little respect. Okay, let's go. (walks him out of the studio)
(cut to a room in the Medico-Legal lab. Brennan is working on the skull at a table. Angela walks in)
ANGELA: Is that Geoffrey Thorne?
BRENNAN: Yes. (sighs) Nearly done.
ANGELA: I honestly didn't think it would be murder.
BRENNAN: Which makes your conclusions all the more credible.
ANGELA: Only you would find that comforting. Booth is questioning DeLuca again. He seems to have a motive.
BRENNAN: So, there's still a chance that your friend is not a murderer.
ANGELA: Yeah.
BRENNAN: We'll know more when we identify the murder weapon.
ANGELA: It wasn't Roxie.
BRENNAN: Do you still have feelings for her?
ANGELA: No.
BRENNAN: Booth tells me that sometimes people say the exact opposite of what they mean.
ANGELA: I do still have feelings for her.
BRENNAN: Are you saying the opposite of what you mean now or before?
ANGELA: (sighs) We had a very intense relationship in college, and she fell in love with me-- way in love with me. When I broke it off, she was really hurt.
BRENNAN: That happens with you. Look at Hodgins.
ANGELA: This was worse than Hodgins. This was, "I'm gonna run away to Europe and stop being an artist" hurt.
BRENNAN: Oh ANGELA: I don't really think that I have the right to open up that can of worms again just because some feelings are rising to the surface.
BRENNAN: It's too bad there isn't a way to experiment with sexuality.
ANGELA: That's how I got into this whole mess in the first place.
BRENNAN: Well, I meant...
ANGELA: I know what you meant. I'm just...
BRENNAN: On the bright side, if she did kill Geoffrey Thorne, you won't have to think about any of that.
ANGELA: Thanks, Brennan. How long is it gonna take you to identify the weapon?
BRENNAN: I can do it right now. I've seen this injury many times. I'm almost certain that the death blow came from a common fire ax.
(a room in the Medico-Legal lab. Cam is working as Hodgins walks in)
HODGINS: There's also limestone and silicon oxide on his clothes.
(he goes to a computer and keys something in. Cam comes over to look)
HODGINS: Mix them all together, and poof, we've got a match with the concrete floor at the gallery.
CAM: Well, it turns out that not all the blood on the floor of the gallery came from that performance with the pig. (she shows Hodgins a large screen at which she has been working) This is human.
HODGINS: Is any of it Thorne's?
CAM: Someone worked very hard to clean it up. It's making things difficult.
(cut to Helen's gallery. She and Booth are standing by one of the sculptures as FBI techs work in the room)
HELEN: First you destroyed Geoffrey's finest work, and now you are destroying my business.
BOOTH: Yeah, well, you know what else got destroyed? Geoffrey Thorne.
HELEN: My grief and my business are two separate things, Agent Booth.
FBI TECH: Sir, look at this.
HELEN: Is that my fire ax?
BOOTH: Yes.
BRENNAN: Booth.
BOOTH: Yeah?
BRENNAN: Cam said there was human blood mixed in with the pig's.
(Booth walks over to where Brennan is standing by another sculpture)
MARCUS: (walking around Brennan looking at the floor) I think we found it. There are definite blood stains here, but they're underneath a layer of what we think is turpentine.
BRENNAN: Could I borrow your lighter?
BOOTH: Why do you want my lighter?
BRENNAN: Just...
BOOTH: (handing the lighter to Brennan and turning to Marcus) Sure, here. Okay, so what do we know about that?
MARCUS: Not much. I doubt we'll be able to identify the bleeder.
(Brennan uses the lighter to start a fire on the floor)
BOOTH AND MARCUS: Woah!
(Booth jumps to get out of the way of the flames)
BOOTH: Sheesh! Hey Bones, you know, you almost lit my butt on fire BRENNAN: (standing) Well notice that the flames leapt from the center room towards the loading dock.
BOOTH: Wait. So, you're saying that Thorne was killed here and then dragged there.
MARCUS: Can we get the UV lights over here, please?
BRENNAN: (using a UV light) Not dragged, Booth. Rolled.
BOOTH: I got to tell you, that was a great trick there, Bones.
MARCUS: Yeah, remove the turpentine, reveal the blood soaked into the concrete.
BRENNAN: The blood stains show up approximately every 35 centimeters.
BOOTH: That would explain why Hodgins found the cement particles on the front and the back of the clothing.
MARCUS: Yeah, but why rolled instead of dragged?
BOOTH: Thorne was a big guy. Okay, whoever killed him could not pick him up and carry him to the loading dock and put him in the car. They had to roll him. (mimes rolling as he walks) You understand? Roll.
BOOTH: (pointing to Helen) Excuse me, tiny little woman.
HELEN: (walking over) Yes.
BOOTH: Can you account for your whereabouts the night that Geoffrey Thorne was killed?
HELEN: Yes, I was at home. I was reading. That was a lie. I was watching The Real Housewives of Orange County. I find it a brilliant postmodern performance piece.
BRENNAN: So, no alibi.
HELEN: Geoffrey's work was selling. I was making money. Why would I kill the golden goose? I wasn't going to inherit anything. Not like Roxie.
BRENNAN: It all seems to come back to Roxie.
BOOTH: Angela is not going to like that.
(cut to a table at the bar from earlier in the episode. Sweets and Angela are eating.)
SWEETS: It's exactly the same situation as the last time we were sitting here. Except, you know, you're quieter.
ANGELA: No, that was about Hodgins. This is about Roxie.
SWEETS: (loudly in shock) You want to have s*x with Roxie.
(a man at the bar turns to look at them)
ANGELA: What was that about quieter?
SWEETS: I'm sorry, I'm not certain that you're being guided by your brain, that's all. Need can be confused with love. Fantasy can convince us that what we are feeling is love.
ANGELA: So, you're saying that this is all rebound?
SWEETS: (taking a sip of his drink) Yeah.
ANGELA: No. You don't understand love, Sweets.
SWEETS: I'm not as innocent as you might think.
ANGELA: You have this bourgeois notion...
SWEETS: (laughing) Bourgeois?
ANGELA: ...that in order for love to be real it has to be permanent. Nothing is permanent. That's just a fact. We move in and out of loving other people, but that doesn't make the love any less real.
SWEETS: Mm-hmm, perhaps you're saying this because you've never met the love of your life.
ANGELA: (nodding) I have, actually. Many times. Fine.
SWEETS: It seems to me that you always leave yourself an escape hatch in your relationships. Because you're afraid of commitment.
ANGELA: Nice try. But no. Actually, I commit to every person I love.
SWEETS: You marry a man and then conveniently forget that you married him because you got zonked on Kava Kava. That compromises your relationship with Hodgins so that ends, along with the marriage. Now you say you have these intense feelings. . .
(Angela begins to look more and more serious)
SWEETS: . . . for an ex-lover whose heart you've already broken. Don't you see the potential disaster here?
ANGELA: Look, you said that, without the possibility of pain, there can be no joy, no real love.
SWEETS: I said that?
(Angela sighs)
SWEETS: That's beautiful.
ANGELA: Look... I don't want to hurt Roxie again.
SWEETS: Then don't. Don't. Put her welfare first. Let Roxie decide if she's ready to pursue this relationship.
ANGELA: Okay. And what if she doesn't?
SWEETS: Then I'm afraid you'll have to live with that pain.
(cut to the medico-legal lab. Hodgins is using a mass spectrometer as Daisy watches)
DAISY: I used a mass spectrometer during my summer internship at Johns Hopkins. I even taught my friend how to use it.
HODGINS: Excellent. Next you should learn the concept of personal space.
(Cam walks up as Hodgins tries to get past Daisy to the computer)
CAM: What'd you get off the ax?
HODGINS: It was wiped clean with turpentine, no signs of blood. (he holds out a folder)
DAISY: And he also checked the handle.
HODGINS: Sodium chloride and odorants.
DAISY: Sweat. Most likely human.
CAM: What was the eccrine pH?
HODGINS: Seven.
DAISY: It was a woman. What you should have him do next is match the DNA from the sweat to Angela's lesbian lover-- see if there's a match.
HODGINS: Do you ever listen to yourself?
CAM: Yeah, but it's a good idea, Hodgins. You might want to prepare Angela.
(Sweets' office. Cam is sitting on the couch as Sweets walks in)
SWEETS: Doctor Saroyan?
CAM: Thank you so much for seeing me.
SWEETS: I didn't agree to see you. How come none of you people ever book an appointment? Frankly, it's annoying.
CAM: (pointing vigorously) Ah. Annoying. That's exactly why I'm here. I...
(Sweets sits)
CAM: I've done an unofficial, confidential survey of my people and...
SWEETS: And they find me annoying? No, it's worse. They hate me. You know why, don't you? It's because Dr. Brennan undervalues psychology and all of you have picked up her vibe. Now, I know that sounds paranoid...
CAM: And the word "vibe" is a little dated.
SWEETS: But it's true.
CAM: I'm not here about you being annoying. It's Daisy Wick.
SWEETS: Daisy?
CAM: Yes, she's very smart, very able, and she has a knack for turning reasonable people into flaming gas balls of fury.
SWEETS: You want me to talk to her?
CAM: No, no. I need your advice on how to tell Daisy we can't have her at the lab anymore. I'm very comfortable with incompetence, but when it's just a matter of personality...
SWEETS: I'll do it.
CAM: What? Really?
SWEETS: Yeah, I'll talk to her.
CAM: Well, as the boss, it's kind of my job to fire people.
SWEETS: And as a boss, you know that sometimes it's better to delegate. I'll do it. Let's just hope she doesn't turn me into a flaming gas ball of fury.
CAM: Well, I'm no psychologist, but I think you should be flattered that we all drop in on you and ask your advice. (she walks out)
SWEETS: Thank you.
(cut to the medico-legal lab. Brennan walks up to Hodgins who is working at a station. Cam is also present)
BRENNAN: Okay, I'm ready for you to blow up my mind.
HODGINS: Okay, now first off, I almost missed this so, don't praise me too much.
CAM: The point is, you didn't miss it.
HODGINS: Yeah, but only because Angela asked for a personal favor. And I am powerless to resist. (He puts a slide under a microscope. He then walks past a set of tables pointing out objects) Okay, now, this is the victim's clothing. And this is the ax handle of the "presumed" murder weapon. As you know, there were traces of sweat on both of them. But not the victim's sweat.
BRENNAN: Female sweat, yes.
CAM: Presumably the murderer sweat on the ax handle then perspired while rolling the victim's body to the car.
HODGINS: Yes, now, upon further analysis, I discovered other traces in the sweat.
BRENNAN: Imatinib mesylate, hydroxyurea, busulfan. Do you have any idea where these chemicals might have come from?
CAM: Medicines. Treatments for cancer.
HODGINS: I looked them up. This is treatment for chronic myelogenous leukemia.
CAM: Then Roxie is not our murderer.
BRENNAN: You can't necessarily tell if someone has leukemia from looking at them.
CAM: No, but this drug here, busulfan, it causes highly visible skin discoloration.
BRENNAN: Oh, then that is very good for Angela. Not that we are swayed by those considerations. (she smiles and walks off)
CAM: What's that look?
HODGINS: She knows who did it.
(cut to an interrogation room. Helen is on one side of the table with Booth and Brennan facing her)
HELEN: I had no reason to kill Geoffrey.
BOOTH: Oh, you own several of his art pieces. We all know that art increases in value when an artist dies.
HELEN: Anyone could see that Geoffrey Thorne wasn't long for this world. I'm a very patient woman.
BRENNAN: Except you're dying, Ms. Bridenbecker.
HELEN: Nonsense.
BRENNAN: Would you please remove your makeup?
HELEN: I will not. I want a lawyer.
BOOTH: Really? (picks up some papers and begins looking at them) Because, you know, the phone records-- they indicate that you contacted a cancer clinic in Mexico City. And we do know that that clinic costs a small fortune.
BRENNAN: If it's any consolation, it wouldn't have worked. Their "treatment"-- it's not legitimate.
HELEN: (on the verge of tears) You don't know that.
BRENNAN: I'm afraid I do. Places like that are set up to prey on the hopes of people like you.
HELEN: Geoffrey was going to die anyway. (begins wiping off her makeup) Anyone could see that. I did him a favor. I gave him his start. Geoffrey would much rather have been remembered as a fully committed artist than as a common murder victim.
BOOTH: Really? Maybe he preferred to live.
HELEN: Well... well, so would I. I guess none of us get what we want.
(cut to the gallery. Roxie is watching the video of Geoffrey Thorn as Angela walks in)
ANGELA: Hey, Roxie.
ROXIE: Now what do I do?
ANGELA: Well, you have money, and you have a studio. I think what you should do is your own art, full time.
ROXIE: That's not what I mean. Did you ever, even for a second, think that it was me?
ANGELA: No. Not for a second.
ROXIE: Why?
ANGELA: Because we... we really knew each other once and I don't think that... you've changed much since then.
ROXIE: Have you changed?
ANGELA: Uh, I don't, I don't know, Roxie. Um... maybe I have. But I'm not, I'm-- I haven't changed...
(Roxie kisses her and Angela kisses back)
(cut to the Medico-Legal lab. Cam and Hodgins are on the balcony watching Daisy on the forensics platform)
CAM: How do you think he's going to do it?
HODGINS: He'll convince her that it's best for her to move to another job.
(Booth walks over with Brennan)
BOOTH: What's going on?
HODGINS: Sweets is firing Daisy for us.
CAM: We're wondering what his method will be.
BRENNAN: He'll explain to her logically
(Sweets walks up the platform stairs) that this environment is not conducive for either her or us and, as a scientist, she'll realize that he's right.
BOOTH: No, Sweets is a lot sneakier than that. He'll use some kind of psychological Jedi mind trick to make her think it was her idea to quit.
SWEETS: (walking over to Daisy) I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?
DAISY: The bad first.
SWEETS: You're toast here. Nobody wants to work with you.
DAISY: Why?
SWEETS: You know why, Daisy. There are some things that you have to work on when it comes to interpersonal relations.
DAISY: Does anybody like me?
SWEETS: No, I'm afraid not.
DAISY: What's the good news?
SWEETS: There's absolutely no reason for us to be discreet about our relationship anymore.
DAISY: Really?
SWEETS: Yeah, why'd you ask me that?
DAISY: Because I thought we were being discreet because you're a little bit ashamed of me.
(Sweets looks up at the balcony and then kisses Daisy. They make out for a moment.)
HODGINS: I'm totally shocked.
BRENNAN: Yeah. They should not be doing that on the forensic platform.
CAM: That's a method of termination I've never tried. But bravo, Dr. Sweets.
(Cam and Hodgins walk off)
BOOTH: They'll never work. They're like complete opposites.
BRENNAN: I agree. For all her faults, she's a woman of science, Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion.
(Booth scoffs)
BRENNAN: You know, there's no common ground.
BOOTH: Right.
BRENNAN: You need common ground. What else is there?
BOOTH: Absolutely.
(Daisy and Sweets walk off together)