[ The cafeteria ]
Leonard: Have you guys heard about this research team that's trying to transgenically manipulate chicken DNA to create some sort of chicken dinosaur?
Sheldon: Oh, I think that sounds wonderful.
Howard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.
Raj: Hey, guys.
Howard: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
Raj: We still on for tomorrow night?
Leonard: Yeah. I'm excited to finally meet your girlfriend.
Sheldon: Speaking of which, according to a recent study out of Oxford University, when someone takes on a new romantic partner, that person loses one or two close friends.
Howard: Since when do you read social science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.
Raj: Why would I lose friends just because I started dating someone?
Leonard: Yeah, you didn't lose anyone when you met Amy. Yeah, well, no, this study refers to romantic partners. Not the way I would categorize the two of us.
Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands.
Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.
Raj: Look, I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends just because he's in a relationship.
Leonard: What happens if she doesn't like us?
Raj: Well, hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years, and then you're dead to me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ We built the Wall ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
We built the pyramids
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
[SCENE_BREAK]
Bang!
[SCENE_BREAK]
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x04 ♪ Original Air Date on October 6, 2014
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The apartment ]
Amy: So, Howard, is Stuart still living with your mom?
Howard: I don't want to talk about it.
Bernadette: But he's going to.
Howard: My mom got him cable. In my whole life, growing up in that house, no cable. Do you know how many HBOs that leech had my mother get him? Seven. Seven HBOs. Seven.
Bernadette: Long story short, they have seven HBOs.
(knocking)
Raj: Hey, guys.
Sheldon: Hello.
Raj: Emily, you know almost everybody here.
Emily: Hi.
Raj: And this is Leonard, this is Penny.
Emily: Oh, it's so nice to meet you.
Leonard: Nice to finally meet you, too.
Penny: Hi.
Emily: Hello.
Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her.
Raj: I told you she exists.
Penny: Hey, I hear you're a dermatologist.
Emily: Uh, yeah, I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. Yeah, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue fever, they still let you take a lollipop.
Bernadette: You know, Penny just started training to be a pharmaceutical sales rep. Maybe she can practice on you some time.
Penny: Oh, it would be great to practice on a real doctor.
Emily: Yeah. I'm sure that'd be fine.
Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Um, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes, and he's taking his pants off.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Penny's apartment ]
Bernadette: Last night was fun. What did you think of Emily?
Penny: I don't know. I kind of got the sense she didn't like me.
Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. No one ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: We have led different lives.
Bernadette: You guys just met. Why would she feel that way?
Penny: It's just this vibe I got.
Bernadette: I'm sure you're worried about nothing.
Penny: Yeah. You're probably right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out, she liked me a little too much.
Bernadette: Really?
Penny: Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out.
Bernadette: When you go to Emily's office to practice, you'll see. It's fine.
Penny: Yeah, I hope you're right.
Amy: You really went your entire life without anyone saying I hate you to your face?
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Capital Comics ]
(rock music playing)
Sheldon: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick. What, is this a comic book store, or a rave at the third little pig's house?
Howard: Yep, I wish Stuart would reopen. I hate this place, too.
Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an 80-year-old man in a 15-year-old's tee shirt. But you're just upset about Stuart and your mom and all their HBOs.
Howard: Yes, I am. You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of mother saying, Stuart, which one is Thrones?
Raj: You know, he might not reopen. He didn't get a lot of money from the insurance company.
Sheldon: Oh, boy, if there is one thing that gets my goat, it's those dad-gum insurance companies.
Leonard: Why? Because they won't get off your lawn? Is Stuart trying to get a loan, or, or find investors?
Howard: All I know is, he's got my mother buying four-ply toilet paper. I mean, four-ply. If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he just use an angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.
Leonard: Hey, here's a thought. Why don't we put up the rest of the money that Stuart needs?
Raj: So, we'd be, like, owners of a comic book store?
(all chuckling)
Leonard: It's kind of a dream come true.
Howard: That does sound fun.
Raj: Ooh, maybe we could come up with a business plan to compete with this place.
Sheldon: I'll give you a plan right now. Step one, open comic book store. Step two, start rumour this comic book store gives you genital warts. Step three, buy a big bag to put the money in.
Leonard: It's not that bad.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Emily's surgery ]
Penny: Hey.
Emily: Hi.
Penny: Thank you so much for letting me practice my sales pitch on you. I really appreciate it.
Emily: Sure.
Penny: Um, I brought coffee. I wasn't sure what you like, so I got a regular, a cappuccino and a Chai tea. Since you like Raj, I thought you might be into that.
Emily: Thanks. If we could get started. I'm a little busy.
Penny: Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just get out my materials. Leonard gave me this briefcase. He used to carry it around in high school. You can still see the dent where they whacked him with it. Okay, I would like to talk to you about our new birth control pill, Femevra.
Emily: Great.
Penny: So, Femevra's triphasic design provides balanced hormonal exposure.
Emily: All right.
Penny: It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives. Although it can cause acne, which, if you ask me, kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive.
Emily: Funny.
Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. Did we get off on the wrong foot? Because since the other night, I kind of feel like you might have a problem with me.
Emily: No, it's fine.
Penny: Are you sure, because it doesn't seem fine?
Emily: Okay. If you really want to talk about this, I do have a problem.
Penny: Oh, my God. Tell me, what did I do?
Emily: Look, it's nothing. It's just, Raj told me that a while ago, you two hooked up.
Penny: What? Oh, why would he say that?
Emily: Did it not happen?
Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: Were you naked?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: So, it was a hook-up.
Penny: No. Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The apartment ]
Sheldon: So, what are some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition?
Leonard: Oh, kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store.
Howard: You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice. You mean, like at parks and schools?
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now.
Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
Raj: Um, well, in my defence, I tell everybody.
Penny: Why would you say that?
Raj: We were having a conversation about past lovers.
Penny: We weren't lovers. Come on. Everyone knows we didn't sleep together. We got drunk and fooled around. Why couldn't you just leave me out of it?
Raj: Well, we were being honest. You would leave me out of the conversation with the next guy if you dumped Leonard?
Leonard: Why say it?
Penny: Yes.
Raj: Well, I would never leave you off my list, and not just because, without you, we're playing fast and loose with the word list.
Penny: Well, good job. Now she hates me. Ugh.
Raj: Great.
Sheldon: On the bright side, that Oxford study was right. One friend down. I wonder who you're going to lose next.
Raj: You, okay? It's you. You're, you're next.
Sheldon: No. You're crazy about me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Penny's apartment ]
Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past.
Amy: Hmm-hmm.
Penny: Almost everyone has a past.
Bernadette: Come on, look how pretty you are. I'm sure this isn't the first girl to hate you.
Penny: It's not.
Bernadette: And I'm sure you can turn it around.
Penny: How? You can't force someone to like you.
Amy: What if you just hang around and act like her friend until you wear her down? I mean, next thing you know, you're in her home, you're eating her food, drinking her wine.
Penny: No, that won't work.
Amy: You're right. Cheers.
Bernadette: Oh, I know. Why don't you use your sales training to go back down there and sell yourself?
Penny: What?
Bernadette: Yeah. But instead of selling a drug, you'd be selling Penny. it's cute.
Penny: It's stupid.
Bernadette: Well, maybe people would like you more if you didn't crap all over their ideas.
Amy: I'm gonna go with Penny on this one. Then again, why wouldn't I? I mean, we go way back.
Penny: Oh, my God. I didn't used to like you.
Amy: Shh. Amy's here now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Capital Comics ]
Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the more intrigued I am about having our own store.
Howard: We'll get to see all the new stuff before it hits the shelves.
Sheldon: And we'll get to have fun interactions with our customers. Like, this isn't a library, buy it or get out.
Howard: You say things like that all the time.
Sheldon: Yes, but as a store owner, I'll finally have a good comeback to, You don't work here, shut up.
Leonard: Uh, do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list?
Howard: Yeah.
Leonard: Well, do you think when she and I had that conversation, she left people off her list?
Sheldon: I'm sure she did.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list.
Leonard: Will you stay out of this?
Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while.
Howard: Hey, what difference does it make? You're the one she wants to marry.
Leonard: That's true.
Howard: Yeah, and I'm not sure that complete honesty is always the best thing for a relationship.
Sheldon: Yeah, he's right. Once, in a moment of candour, I told Amy that her hair reminded me of a duck caught in an oil spill. She stormed out. Which was sad, because we were playing Scrabble, and I had all the letters to spell persimmon.
Leonard: Why are you even part of this conversation? You don't know anything about women.
Sheldon: I know that if I had a wife or a fiancée, I'd ask her first before I invested money in a comic book store.
Howard: He's right.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, of course I am. I was also right about her hair. It did everything but quack.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The stairwell ]
Leonard: There's something I wanted to run past you.
Penny: What's up?
Leonard: Mm, the guys and I were thinking about investing in Stuart's comic book store. Is that okay?
Penny: Why are you asking me?
Leonard: Well, you know, we're engaged, and it's kind of a big deal financially. It seems like something we should talk about.
Penny: Oh. Well, would you consider mounds of credit card debt kind of a big deal financially?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Huh.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ]
Howard: Mm. So, me and the guys were talking about this great investment opportunity.
Bernadette: Nope.
Howard: But you didn't hear what it was.
Bernadette: I know.
Howard: Oh, come on.
Bernadette: Fine. What is it?
Howard: It's to help reopen the comic book store.
Bernadette: Nope.
Howard: Well, hear me out.
Bernadette: Howard, you know we're saving up for a house.
Howard: I know, but all the guys are doing it. We're splitting it four ways, so it's really not that much money.
Bernadette: It just seems like a risky investment.
Howard: I get that. I, okay, look, the real reason this is important is, before my dad left me and my mom, he used to take me to the comic book store. It was one of the few things we did together.
Bernadette: Oh. Howie, I had no idea.
Howard: Well, I don't like to talk about it.
Bernadette: Oh, baby. That story's made up, isn't it?
Howard: That's how much buying a comic book store means to me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The apartment ]
Sheldon: I'd like your honest opinion on something.
Amy: Of course.
Sheldon: Now, before I start, I need you to know that I'm very excited about this, and anything you say that isn't enthusiastically supportive will throw our entire relationship into question. So, keep an open mind.
Amy: I'm feeling a little backed into a corner, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Perfect. Now, I'm considering investing in Stuart's comic book store.
Amy: Interesting. Can you see how a grown man, an accomplished scientist, who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colourful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great. Wait till you hear about our van.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Penny's apartment ]
(knocking)
Raj: Hey.
Penny: Hi.
Raj: Thanks for inviting us over.
Penny: Oh, thank you for coming.
Emily: Uh, listen, Penny, before you start, I just want to apologise for being so rude the other day in my office.
Penny: No, no. No need to apologise.
Raj: Excuse me, can I say something? I just love both you guys, and I want you to get along. And when I say love I meant as a friend. And, uh, way too soon, right?
Penny: Okay, sit down. Listen, Emily, what happened between me and Raj was a long time ago.
Raj: It was, and I may have made it seem like a bigger deal than I should have.
Penny: Yeah, and Leonard and I are engaged now, and I'm just hoping we can put this whole thing behind us.
Emily: Mm. I'd like that, too. Yeah, I thought I'd be okay with it, but then I saw how pretty you are.
Penny: Oh, that's so sweet. I mean, look at you, you are gorgeous.
Raj: It's true, you're both gorgeous. Kind of says something about the man who could bed you both. You get why I've been alone most of my adult life.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Mrs Wolowitz's house ]
Stuart: So, what brings you by?
Howard: Well, I don't need a reason, it's my house.
Stuart: Technically, it's your mom's house, but we certainly want you to feel welcome.
Howard: I'm always welcome.
Stuart: Mm, just try and call first.
Bernadette: Okay, let's get down to business. Howie was thinking about putting up some money to help you reopen the store, but before that happens, I have a few questions.
Stuart: Oh. I appreciate the offer, but actually your mother already gave me the money.
Howard: What?
Stuart: Yeah. I told her it was too much, but she said she was happy to help out her bubala.
Howard: Excuse me. Ma, you are cancelling that cheque, and Stuart is not your bubala, I'm your bubala. You can't have more than one bubala.
Stuart: I don't know who he's talking to. She's at Target, buying me shirts.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Penny's apartment ]
Raj: I'm so glad we could work this all out.
Penny: Yeah, me, too.
Emily: You know, we should have dinner one night with you and Leonard.
Penny: Oh, we would love that.
Raj: Great.
(both chuckle)
Penny: Okay, good night, guys.
Emily: All right, night.
Penny: Bye.
Emily and Penny (simultaneously): I hate her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The apartment ]
Raj: I'm really disappointed we're not gonna have our own comic book store.
Leonard: I know. I was looking forward to it.
Sheldon: It would've been so nice to have a place that was ours, where we could just sit and read comics in peace.
Howard: With comfy seats.
Raj: And snacks.
Sheldon: Well, I guess it was too good to be true.
Leonard: Yeah.
(all sigh)


Act 1
Scene 1 - The Radio Station. Fade in. Frasier is on the air.
Frasier: Go ahead, Sophie, I'm listening.
Sophie: [v.o.] Hi, Dr. Crane. My husband's having some of his friends over to watch the game Sunday, and I think it'd be nice if I could have some of my girlfriends over too.
Frasier: Sounds reasonable.
Sophie: Exactly. I mean, it's just football.
Larry: [in the background] Not football, Einstein, the Super Bowl.
Frasier: Ah, that would be your doting husband now.
Sophie: Larry, this is a private conversation. And for God's sake, use a plate!
Frasier: Sophie, why don't you put your husband on the line?
Sophie: Pick up.
Larry: Ah, geez. [picks up, louder] Hello!
Frasier: Larry, I gotta tell you, I'm afraid I side with your wife on this one.
Larry: That just proves you don't know the first thing about football.
Frasier: What I do or do not know about football has...
Larry: OK, how's this: My wife's friends can come over if you can answer even one little football question. Like...
Frasier: Now, I don't see that that's in any...
Larry: You're down by six, you're on your own forty, three seconds left, what do you do?
Frasier: Well, all right, you would...
Roz gets his attention and grabs two telephone handsets.
Frasier: You would take your receivers, [Roz sets them together] and line them up, [she pretends to throw] and then throw a pass. [big throwing gesture] A long, long pass.
Larry: Yeah, and what's the name for that?
Roz gets down on her knees, crosses herself, and prays with an innocent look on her face.
Frasier: A Hail Mary. [Roz gives him the thumbs up.] Sophie and Larry, I hope you enjoy the game. In the meanwhile, this is Coach Crane saying, I'm listening.
Roz comes over to change some tapes on Frasier's console.
Roz: I'm impressed you're so good at charades.
Frasier: I'm impressed you could mime a virgin. So, Roz, you walkin' out?
Roz: No, I got stuff I gotta do. I've got some carts to rack, and I want to put together some Best of Crane tapes.
Frasier: Oh, your mother's still in town?
Roz: In town, in my apartment, and when I left this morning, in my refrigerator, smelling my milk!
Frasier: Oh, lord.
Roz: I, I love her, I just wish I could get a couple of hours to myself one night.
Frasier: Well, why don't you just ask her? She might enjoy a little time to herself. I know my dad does.
Roz: You are so lucky. I wish my mother drank alone.
They walk over to Roz's side.
Frasier: You know, Roz, your mom's about the same age as my dad, isn't she?
Roz: Yeah, I guess.
Frasier: Does she date much?
Roz: Since my father left, practically never... no, hang on...
Frasier: No, no, hear me out, Roz. Now, Dad hasn't dated anybody since he and Sherry broke up, I'm starting to worry he's lost his nerve. A date with your mom could be a tremendous favor to him.
Roz: I don't know.
Frasier: Oh, come on, I'll tell you what: I know it's awkward but there's a way to minimize that. Niles and I are having dinner with him tonight. We'll take him to McGinty's, he'll feel comfortable, you and your mother can just happen by. We'll see what transpires, you know, they'll never even know it's a fix-up.
Roz: Oh, what the hell, I'll give it a shot, I guess. How's five sound?
Frasier: Five? Your mother is ready for dinner at five?
Roz: I keep her on Wisconsin time, that way she's in bed by eight.
Frasier walks out. FADE OUT.
A.K.A THE LAST ONION
OUT OF POMPEII
Scene 2 - McGinty's Fade in. Niles and Frasier are sitting at a table, Martin brings a plate over.
Martin: Hey, look what I got here, boys! A Funion Onion. The chef sent it over with his compliments.
Frasier: I wonder what his insults are like.
Martin: [to a waitress] Hey, Bonnie!
Bonnie: Hey ya, Marty. Oh, you must be Frasier, the big radio star.
Frasier: Oh, yes. Hello.
Bonnie: Your dad is so proud of you, he talks about you all the time. Who's your friend?
Martin: Now, what's wrong with you? I told you about my other son.
Bonnie: [shaking Niles's hand] Oh, of course, what am I thinking? Nice to meet you, Eddie.
Martin: This is Niles. How 'bout some beers, Bonnie?
Bonnie: Coming right up.
Niles: Oh God, look. The group coming in the door, they're from the Shangri-La.
A group of guys come over and punch Niles on the shoulder. He puts up his fists and weaves back and forth.
Jimbo: Whoa, it's the Coyote!
Niles: Evening, evening, Jimbo. Check you later.
The guys go over to the bar.
Martin: Wow, you got a nickname down there already. That's great! The Coyote?
Niles: Yes.
Frasier: And how did you earn that honorific?
Niles: Oh, it was quite the merry road. Yes. It evolved from Niles to Nilesy to Niley to Nile E. Coyote and now simply "The Coyote."
The guys at the bar start howling at him.
Niles: Oh, well, just when I thought it couldn't be refined any further.
Roz and her mother, Joanna, come in.
[N.B. Eva Marie Saint's first (and Oscar-winning) film role was as Edie Doyle, Marlon Brando's love interest in 1954's "On the Waterfront."]
Frasier: Oh, goodness, look who's here! Roz!
Roz: What? We don't see enough of each other during the day?
Frasier: Hello, Joanna.
Joanna: Nice to see you again, Frasier.
Frasier: Nice to see you again, too. Please, won't you sit down and join us?
Joanna: Oh, no, we don't want to intrude.
Frasier: Oh, no, no, please, the more the merrier.
Roz: All right. Mom, this is Frasier's dad, Martin Crane. This is my mom, Joanna Doyle.
Martin: Very nice to meet you. And this is my other son, Niles.
Niles: How do you do?
Joanna: It's a pleasure.
DISSOLVE TO: after dinner. Martin and Joanna have cleaned their plates, while the others still have food.
Frasier: Roz, will you just look at the two of them.
Roz: How did you two manage to finish all that?
Joanna: Oh, please. This is how our generation ate every day. I used to live on cigarettes, whiskey sours and bacon cheeseburgers.
Martin: Yeah, and what about breakfast? Fried eggs, sausage patties, hash browns...
Niles: My God, last night I ate a profiterole and lay awake 'til dawn waiting for my heart attack.
Joanna: Those were simpler times, weren't they, Marty?
Martin: Oh yeah, we didn't worry about dumb things like cholesterol. We worried about puttin' food on the table, keepin' the yard clean and the car shiny.
Joanna: And the H-bomb.
Martin: Well, yeah, that.
Frasier: Say, Roz, we better be going if we're going to get that work done tonight.
Niles: Oh, I should be going too.
Roz: Mom and me are going to that jazz club on Fifth.
Frasier: But we promised to finish those promos tonight.
Roz: Oh, right. Mom, I'm sorry, I totally forgot.
Joanna: It's OK.
Frasier: Wait, I've got an idea. Uh, Dad, since I'm kidnapping Roz, why don't you take Joanna to the jazz club?
Martin: Well, sure, I'd love to.
Roz: Is that OK with you, Mom?
Joanna: If Martin's game, I'm game.
Frasier: Oh, well, perfect. OK, you kids just have some coffee, we'll see you back at the apartment later, OK?
Joanna: All right.
Niles: Very, very nice to meet you.
Joanna: Thank you.
Roz, Frasier and Niles go to pay the check.
Joanna: Look at them. They think we don't know this is a setup.
Martin: Well, how could we figure it out? We're just a retired detective and an attorney general. [they laugh]
CUT TO: Roz and Frasier by the bar.
Roz: You were absolutely right, they didn't suspect a thing.
Frasier: I told you Roz, just leave it to the master.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene 3 - Frasier's Apartment. Fade in. Daphne is sitting in Martin's chair eating popcorn and watching television. Roz brings another bowl in from the kitchen. Frasier is on the couch.
Roz: God, I thought they'd be home by now.
Frasier: Roz, will you please relax and watch the pageant with us? They're right in the middle of the talent competition.
[She sits next to him.]
Daphne: It's shameless the way they're sucking up to the international panel of judges. Miss Germany just played "Lady of Spain" on a French horn.
Frasier: Roz, you're gonna chew that nail right off. Stop it.
Roz: I can't help it. I'm nervous. Do you think it's gonna turn out OK?
Frasier: Who cares?
Daphne: Not for Miss Brazil. Look at the tree trunks on her. She's her own little rain forest.
Roz: I just keep worrying that she's gonna have a lousy time, and it will be all my fault. Screwing up, like always.
Frasier: Oh, come on, Roz. Your mother doesn't think you're a screwup.
Roz: Oh, yeah? In high school, I ran my own informal shoplifting clinic. In college, I dropped out of pre-law because it interfered with Bruce Springsteen's touring schedule. And now I'm an unwed mother. What would you call me?
Daphne: Tramp.
Frasier: Daphne!
Daphne: It's Miss Venezuela. If that dress of hers was slit any higher, you could see Caracas.
Frasier stares at the set, Roz has to nudge him to get his attention.
Frasier: Oh, oh, Roz. You know what? So what if they don't get along? So we made a mistake.
Roz: [getting up for some sherry] You don't understand. My mother doesn't make mistakes. She does everything well. She's smart, successful, classy... oh, what the hell was I thinking?
Frasier: [rising] About what? Setting her up with my father?
Roz: No, that's not what I meant.
Frasier: That is exactly what you meant!
Roz: Well, OK, Frasier. No offense, your father is a very nice
man, but let's face it: My mother was the attorney general of Wisconsin.
Frasier: Well I hope he remembers to curtsey before the Dairy Queen!
Daphne: [getting up] This is ridiculous. I'm going to watch this in my room. Miss Finland just laid out her plan to end world hunger, and I missed it!
She goes off to her room. There is the sound of the key in the lock at the front door.
Frasier: Oh, lord. He and Roz hurry to sit on the couch.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, that is the best promo of all.
Roz: Oh, hi! How was your evening?
Joanna: Oh, the jazz was first rate. But I'm afraid I talked Martin's ear off.
Martin: Oh, you're crazy. Your mother tells wonderful stories, Roz. I could have listened to her all night.
Joanna: You are either too kind or a little tipsy. But thank you. Come on, Lammy. I really had a lovely time.
Martin: Well, I can't remember when I had a better time. We're gonna have to do this again.
Joanna: Bye, Frasier.
Frasier: Goodnight, Joanna. Lammy.
They leave and Frasier turns to Martin.
Frasier: [grinning] So... Tell me all about it.
Martin: Well, being a gentleman, I don't want to go into the details, so suffice it to say, it STUNK!
Frasier: What?
Martin: [putting up his coat] That was the dullest evening of my life. The way she drones on and on. Do you know how many metric tons of eggs Wisconsin produces every year?
Frasier: No.
Martin: Well, I do!
Frasier: Oh...
Martin: Look, Frasier, I know you meant well, but if you ever set me up again, I'll kill you in your sleep. Goodnight.
He goes off to bed. There is a quiet but insistent knocking at the door. Frasier opens it to reveal Roz.
Roz: [excited] I told my mom to meet me downstairs. I just had to come up and tell you. She had the best time! She can't wait to go out with your father again. Will you tell him to call her tomorrow? Oh, Frasier, this whole thing worked out like a dream!
Martin: [crossing to the kitchen] It's amazing! Her voice is still echoing in my head!
Frasier: Yes, it's like a fairy tale over here, too.
Roz leaves. FADE OUT. End of Act 1 Act 2
Scene 1 - Cafe Nervosa. Fade in. Frasier and Niles are standing at the counter.
Frasier: I've just got to find some way to tell Roz.
Niles: Why? It's just going to hurt her mom's feelings.
Frasier: Her feelings are going to be hurt anyway. She's here 'til Sunday. She's expecting him to call. Oh, dear God. At least this way Roz can let her down easy.
Their coffees come.
Niles: Looks like both of us have difficult conversations ahead of us.
Frasier: What's yours?
Niles: All week long, I have been getting less coffee and more foam in my cappuccino. It's about time for someone to raise a little hell. Who's on steamer duty?
Frasier: Well, it's that hulking fellow, Thad. The one who doesn't react when his arm touches the steamer nozzle.
Thad comes from the back. He is huge.
Niles: Where is that suggestion box? He walks over and Roz comes in.
Roz: Oh, hey Frasier.
Frasier: Hi, Roz.
Roz: Double espresso to go, please. [Roz and Frasier sit.] Listen, I really need to thank you again. My mother had the best time last night. And when we got home, WE started talking. We ended up staying up half the night.
Frasier: Oh, Roz I'm glad for you, but...
Roz: It was like a wall came down. She just opened up to me. She started talking about how hard it was on her when my dad left, and how lonely she's been, and it was like she was talking to a girlfriend instead of her screw-up daughter. So, has Martin called her yet?
Frasier: No. But he will. Soon. Uh, he had a really busy morning.
Roz: Well, how does this weekend look? 'Cause she's leaving Sunday night.
Frasier: Sunday? Oh, well let's see, tonight is poker night, that's no good. Saturday he's made plans to, uh, drive Duke to Tacoma for that all day... Tacoma-Fest.
Roz: Well, on Sunday we go to a matinee and then I drive her to the airport.
Frasier: Oh, darn.
Roz: Wait a minute. I can give my ticket to Martin and they can go together.
Frasier: No, no, Sunday's no good, because that's the, uh...
Roz: Oh right, it's the Super Bowl!
Frasier: Right, the Super Bowl. You know how Dad is about football, it's like a religion with him. In fact, he's made Niles and I promise that we'd watch it with him this year.
Roz: Oh, well, OK. Let's just forget about the tickets and we'll come over and watch the game. Is there any reason why that won't work?
Frasier: Not that I can come up with.
Roz: That's great, my mom's going to be so excited. [She turns to pay her bill, Niles takes it and puts it on the counter.] Oh, thank you, Niles. I'll see you Sunday at your Super Bowl party.
She leaves and Niles sits.
Niles: [sitting] I see you told Roz the news and she went insane.
Frasier: Couldn't do it. Told her we were watching the Super Bowl with Dad and she and her mother are coming over.
Niles: This is a nightmare!
Frasier: I know. I've got to find some way to tell Dad.
Niles: I have to watch the Super Bowl?!
Frasier: I suppose the sooner I tell him, the better.
Niles: Oh, not necessarily.
Frasier: What do you mean?
Niles: Well, you know Dad. If you warn him Joanna's coming over, he'll just bolt to McGinty's. If I were you, I'd wait until five minutes before game time and then spring it on him. That way he has no choice but to stay.
Frasier: I think I owe him more than five minutes' warning. Besides, Dad would never deliberately hurt Joanna standing her up. He is first and foremost a gentleman.
Martin comes in.
Martin: I saw Roz, so I hid outside in case that old gasbag of a mother was with her. Well, I guess she wasn't, everybody's still awake.
[SCENE_BREAK]
ROUGHING THE PASSER
Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Martin is watching the pre-game as Frasier paces nervously.
Martin: Look at those guys in the locker room. Nervous, hearts pounding, probably a little sick to their stomachs, poor kids.
Frasier: Yes. Until I got out of high school, I didn't there was any other way to feel in a locker room.
Martin: What's the matter with you? You keep looking at your watch.
Frasier: Was I?
Martin: Yeah. Is there something on your mind?
Frasier: No, no, but there's something I wanted to talk to you about, but now's not the time.
The doorbell rings.
Frasier: Now's the time.
Martin: Just let me get the door.
Frasier: No, Dad, Dad, that's what I have to talk to you about. You see, that's going to be Roz and her mother.
Martin: What?
Frasier: Well, Joanna had such a good time with you the other night, and you did say that you would see her again, and rather than send her home with her feelings hurt, I had to tell her you wanted her here.
Martin: What, like a date?
Frasier: Well, that's the beauty of it. It's like a date, but it's not a date. Just, you know, make small talk, you pass the dip.
Martin: No, Frasier, you don't understand...
Frasier: Now, Dad, I know you found her a little less than scintillating, but please, it'll be over before you know it.
Frasier opens the door, Bonnie is there.
Bonnie: Hey, Frasier.
Frasier: Hi, Bonnie.
Bonnie: Martin.
Martin: Hey, Bonnie, glad you could make it. Let me hold this. See, this is what I was trying to tell you, Frasier, I invited Bonnie.
Frasier: [taking her coat] Oh, how nice.
Martin: Well, what do you got here?
Bonnie: Oh, it's my special deviled ham in the shape of a football. But I still need to put on some macaroni laces.
Martin: Oh, the kitchen's right down there, just holler if you need anything. [She heads over.]
Frasier: What did you invite her for?
Martin: Well, because I like her, and I thought I might want to ask her out, and I thought if she came over for the game it might be a step in the right direction. I mean "like a date but not a date."
The doorbell rings again.
Frasier: Now that's gonna be Roz and her mother.
Bonnie: Should I put some coffee on while I'm in here?
Martin: You better, we're gonna need it.
Frasier: Would you come on, Dad? Would it kill you to be civil for the length of one Super Bowl? What is that, an hour out of your life?
He opens the door to Joanna and Roz. Alice is with them.
Martin: Hi! [The ladies shush them and motion to the baby.] Sorry. Come on in.
Joanna: Thanks so much for inviting us.
Martin: Wouldn't be fun without you.
Roz: Frasier, could you show Mom where Alice can finish her nap?
Frasier: I'm sure Dad would love to.
Martin: My pleasure, just come this way, Joanna. So, you a big football fan?
Joanna: No, actually I've never even seen a game. I was hoping you'd explain as we go along.
They head down the hall, Martin pauses to glare at Frasier.
Bonnie: [coming from the kitchen] OK, who's hungry? Oh, hey, I'm Bonnie.
Roz: Hi, from McGinty's. I didn't know you were coming.
Bonnie: Yeah, Martin invited me. He was real cute about it. He checked with all the waitresses to find out if I was single.
Roz: Oh. [She looks questioningly at Frasier.]
Frasier: Yes, well you know how Dad is always trying to, ah...
Niles comes in.
Bonnie: Hey, the Coyote!
Frasier: Find a new girl for Niles. Niles, you remember Bonnie. She waited on us at McGinty's.
Niles: Oh, of course. I'll have a vodka martini, very dry.
Frasier: Don't be silly, Niles. Bonnie is here as our guest.
Roz: Yeah, your dad thought you two might hit it off.
Niles: [not enthused] Oh.
Bonnie: [even less enthused] Oh.
Niles: The Superbowl and a date. Hot diggity!
Bonnie: Well, come here, you're just in time for my specialty.
Niles: Oh, I... [She pops a cracker in his mouth.] Mmmm! Isn't that interesting! Something formerly ham.
Daphne: [coming from her room] Well, I'm off to the cinema.
Niles: You're not staying for the game?
Daphne: Sorry, but Ameican football's not for me, and they're showing "Wuthering Heights" downtown. I think it's the most romantic movie ever made.
Niles: You're going alone?
Daphne: Yes, unfortunately. It's more fun to go with someone, except of course it always ends the same way: Me weeping all over me date's shoulder while he does what he can to comfort me.
Bonnie: Oh, you should have seen me cry putting onions in this ham loaf. I must've gone through a whole roll of toilet paper.
Daphne: Well, enjoy your game.
Niles: Frasier, may I see you in the kitchen?
Martin and Joanna come back.
Martin: That's amazing! You do all you do and you still have time to be a docent at the cheese museum on the weekends? Frasier, can I see you in the kitchen?
Frasier: Just a second, Dad, I gotta take drink orders in here.
Cut to the kitchen. Martin comes in as Niles is rinsing his mouth at the tap.
Niles: Thanks for setting me up with that Spam-happy tootsy.
Martin: What are you talking about?
Niles: Bonnie. Frasier told me you invited her here for me.
Martin: I invited her here for me. He probably said I invited her for you because he didn't want to upset Miss Boring's feelings.
Frasier: [entering] Now, now, no private conversations. Your dates are waiting.
Martin: They're not our dates!
Niles: We hate them!
Frasier: Now listen. I realize that this is a very difficult situation, but if we all cooperate, we can send everybody home happy. Dad, if you would like, you can discretely take Bonnie aside and tell her what's going on.
Martin: Bonnie, can I tell you something?
Frasier: I said DISCRETELY!
Cut to the living room.
Joanna: I think the game is about to start.
Roz: Oh, that reminds me, I want to get Alice's bottle warming.
Bonnie: Oh, you have a baby?
Joanna: Oh, the most adorable little girl.
Martin: Oh, she's a real beaut! You oughta see her, Bonnie.
Roz: You can come with me if you want when I feed her.
Martin: No, you go ahead and get that ready, I'll show Bonnie, it's right through there.
Frasier: Now, Dad, don't you get fresh with Niles's girl, there.
Martin: Oh, I won't if he won't.
He and Bonnie head to the bedroom.
Joanna: Your father is really smitten with that baby, isn't he?
Roz: I think he's just got a weak spot for the Doyle women.
Joanna: Oh.
Frasier: Yes, well, he may appear to have a crusty exterior, but deep down inside, Dad's just an old softy.
Martin and Bonnie's voices come from the baby monitor
Martin: [v.o.] Well, there's the kid. Kind of a goony-looking thing, isn't she?
Niles: Is that Dad?
Martin: Look, Bonnie, I gotta tell you somethin'. I didn't ask you here for Niles, I asked you here for me.
Frasier: It's the baby monitor! We should just...
Joanna: [grabbing it away from Niles and Frasier] Shh. I want to hear this.
Bonnie: But I thought you were with Joanna.
Martin: No, no. Frasier and Roz set us up last week. I told Frasier I thought she was a big snooze. Especially compared to the fun you and I have at the bar, but he stuck me with her again.
Frasier: You know, I bet they know it's on...
Roz: Yeah.
Frasier: And they're just having some fun with us...
Roz: Yeah.
Joanna: Frasier, just stay put.
Bonnie: Then Niles isn't my date? Oh, there's a relief. I mean, no offense, Marty, but...
Martin: Hey, you don't have to tell me.
Niles: [grabbing his coat] OK. If anybody wants me, I'll be at the movies. [He rushes out.]
Bonnie: So you really like me? You're not just pulling my leg?
Martin: You want proof?
Joanna: I think we can turn this off now.
Frasier: Joanna, I am so sorry. I know it sounded bad, but...
Joanna: No, no, not at all. I'm sure your father meant "big snooze" in the most flattering sense. Roz, maybe we should leave.
Roz: What were you thinking?
Frasier: Oh, Roz, I certainly wasn't thinking that he had a date planned.
Roz: I'm just going to get Alice. Mom, I'm so sorry.
Joanna: Believe me. Twenty years in politics, I've been called worse things than boring.
Roz heads back, Joanna heads for the door.
Joanna: Well, I hope you'll understand if I just slip out without saying goodbye to Martin?
Frasier: Of course, Joanna. The last thing we need today is another awkward situation.
Martin: [o.s.] Whoa-ho-ho, Roz! Knock, will ya?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene 3 - Frasier's Apartment. Fade in. Frasier opens the door to Roz.
Roz: I left my diaper bag.
Frasier: Right. Can you come in for a bit?
Roz: I really shouldn't.
Frasier: Roz, I'm so sorry.
Roz: It's all right. I mean, I'm not gonna say that my mother wasn't hurt, but she did start to smile a little bit about it on the way to the airport.
Frasier: You know, I've been sitting here, trying to figure out why I was so eager to play matchmaker for Dad.
Roz: Oh, you're not alone. I mean, I was excited once I thought it was going well.
Frasier: Well, I suspect I wasn't doing it so much for him as I was doing it for me. I see him here all the time, all alone, I wonder if maybe that's not gonna be me someday.
Roz: Oh, God. I think the same thing sometimes when I see these older ladies in my building. They all want to babysit Alice just for the company. I mean, she's a cute baby, but she ain't no Dorthy Parker.
Frasier: Ah, well, we're both gonna be fine. I was just thinking, though, if we wanna play it safe, we could make one of those, uh, pacts.
Roz: You mean, like in forty years, if neither one of us finds anyone...
Frasier: Yeah, exactly, we'll marry each other.
Roz: I was gonna say kill each other.
Frasier: Well, six of one...
They laugh as he closes the door. FADE OUT.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Niles is at Cafe Nervosa. The waiter brings his cappuccino. Angered at the amount of coffee, he pulls out his notepad and jots a complaint. He goes to put it in the suggestion box but as he gets there, Thad comes out. Niles crumples the note and Thad holds up the trash can for him. Niles ends up throwing the note past his head and runs out. Guest Appearances Special Guest Star EVA MARIE SAINT as Joanna Doyle
Guest Starring ALICE PLAYTEN as Bonnie ROCKY McMURRAY as Jimbo
Guest Callers PHIL DONAHUE as Larry MARLO THOMAS as Sophie Quick Summary {nicholas hartley}
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE - KACL
Frasier is on air and is taking his last caller. It's a woman who says her husband is having a superbowl party on Sunday for his friends however he won't let her friends come over. The husband comes onto the phone and says he'll let them come over if he can answer a simple football question. Roz mimes the answers to Frasier in order he can get it correct. After signing off as "Coach Crane" he has a chat with Roz where she reveals that her mother is in town and has become a burden. Frasier suggests that she should start dating Martin to get her out of the house. So they agree to "accidentaly" meet at McGinteys.
SCENE TWO - MCGINTEYS
Martin, Frasier and Niles are seated at a table as the waitress; Bonny comes over. She seems to know Martin. After greeting him she realises who Frasier is and talks about how proud Martin is of him. Then she turns to Niles and thinks he's a friend. Martin covers up saying "I've told you about my other son". However Bonny still gets it wrong and calls him Eddie. After she's left, some people from the Shang-ri-la enter who Niles trys to hide from. However they spot and proceed to play fight calling him the coyote. Niles explains his
nickname: It went from Niles to Niley to Nile. E. Coyote and then just to coyote. However at that moments it's refined further as the shang-ri-la guys address him with a coyote growl. After this Roz and her mother, Joanna, enter. Frasier notices her and pretends he didn't expect her. He gets them to sit at the table - with Joanna next to Martin.
SCENE THREE - MCGINTEYS LATER
Everyone has finished eating however Martin & Joanna are the only ones who have cleared their plates. They explain how they never worried about calories in their day and how they ate full cooked breakfasts. Niles is disturbed by this. Roz suggests to Joanna that they better leave as they have a jazz concert. However, Frasier stops her and tells Roz they must discuss the promos. This was obviously planned as Roz decides to give her ticket to Martin so the two "love birds" can go off together. Joanna and Martin agree as Niles, Frasier and Roz leave saying that they have no idea it was a set up. However we see that they do know.
SCENE FOUR - FRASIER'S APARTMENT
Daphne and Frasier are watching a "Miss. World" pagent whilst eating popcorn. Roz comes in looking worried, she explains her worry to Frasier. However he's not really listning to her as he watches her pagent making sarcastic comments with Daphne about the women. Roz explains how her mother MUST BE perfect, she says SHE NEVER makes wrong choices. Roz explains how Martin isn't right for her. Frasier is angered by this as he believes Roz thinks her mother is too high up to be dating someone as low down as retired cop. They begin arguing as Daphne trys to watch the television. Daphne gets up in a huff saying she just missed something before storming off to her room. Frasier tells Roz to stop worrying just before they hear the front door opening. Roz and Frasier quickly head to the sofa to look at the promos, as if they had been doing that all the time.
Martin and Joanna enter looking pleased with each other. They make little comments and it seems they want to see each other again. Joanna leaves so Martin can tell his TRUE side of the story to Frasier. Martin says that he actually hated the date. He says she droned on and on with boring facts; eg: the egg production in Wisconsin. Martin heads off to the room with the words "If you ever set me up on a date again, I'll kill you in your sleep!" Frasier is shocked by this and rather distressed.
Frasier rushes to the door, it's Roz. She looks really excited and explains how her mother had such a good time. Joanna cannot wait for a second date. Roz also says how a wall has been broken down between her and her mother. She says she will now talk openly about how she felt when her father left. She really is exstatic. At this point Martin walks out saying "her voice is still in my head". Frasier cannot bring himself to tell her that Martin hated the date and says "it's like a fairytale here too!"
ACT TWO
SCENE ONE - CAFE NERVOSA
Niles and Frasier are at the bar. Niles takes a drink from his cappuchino and he puts it down in disgust. He says that each week there gets more foam and less coffee. He decides to tell the waiter, however when he realises the waiter is a bit too macho for him he changes his mind and looks for the suggestion box. Frasier tells him about Martin's date and not being able to tell Roz. Niles tell Frasier he must do the right thing and tell the truth.
Roz enters and begins talking to Frasier. She says Martin hasn't rung yet. Frasier again can't bring himself to say anything so instead says he will. Roz looks at her calender and checks it with Frasier. He makes excuses up for every day. So Roz suggests that she brings Joanna up on Sunday to their super bowl party, which Frasier has no way of escaping out of.
She leaves and Frasier tells Niles the news, and that he must also be at the superbowl party. Niles gives Frasier some advice: to tell Martin about this five minutes before. If he tells him in advance he'll probably escape to McGinteys. So Frasier decides this is probably the best option in the long run.
SCENE TWO - FRASIER'S APARTMENT
Martin is watching the warm up before the superbowl on the television and Frasier swims around laying out food. The doorbell sounds and he takes Martin aside. He says it will be Joanna which just angers Martin. He answers the door, surprisingly, to Bonny who is carrying some food. She makes her way to the kitchen as Martin explains that he invited her over in order to ask her on a date. Frasier is distraught by this as he answers the door to Joanna. Joanna and Martin begin chatting before they take the baby away to a room.
Bonny then enters laying the food out and Roz inquires about why she's here. Frasier pretends that Martin invited her here for Niles. Bonny is confused by this. At this point Niles enters through the front door and hangs up his coat. He is shocked when he realises that Bonny is his date however he goes along with it to be polite. Daphne enters at this point and heads out the door - she explains she's going to see "Whuthering Heights" at the cinema by herself. She goes onto say how, if there was someone there, she would only end up crying in her dates shoulder.
After sampling one of Bonny's culinary "delights" he enters the kitchen. Martin enters just after him. Niles tells him off for setting him up with Bonny. Martin tells Niles he invited her here for himself, and that it was probably Frasier's idea so not to offend "Miss. Snoozey". Frasier enters the kitchen and tells them to see to the dates however Niles & Martin disagree saying they hate them.
They all enter the room where Joanna begins talking about the baby. Bonny asks to see the baby, so Martin takes her off. Unfortunately the baby monitor is switched on and the conversation about the dates are heard. Both Martin and Bonny don't like their dates. Upon hearing this, Niles takes flight in order to catch up with Daphne at the movies.
Joanna is a little disturbed by this but says she's not too offended. She leaves without saying goodbye to Martin. Roz follows her after shouting at Frasier.
SCENE THREE - FRASIER'S APARTMENT
Later on, Roz comes back up to his apartment and they talk about looking at their parents love life and comparing it with their own. They explain that they'll probably never get married and time is runnung out. Frasier says they should make a pact; like in forty years if they find no one they should marry each other. Roz says she was going to say "kill each other".
[SCENE_BREAK]
Niles is writing out a suggestion about the foam to put in the suggestion box. However, the waiter stands over him so he decides to screw it and throw it in the bin. Niles makes a run for it whilst the waiter just stares at him.


FLASH OPEN:
[EXT. VARIOUS LOS ANGELES CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[HOLLYWOOD STREET SIGN]
WHITE FLASH TO:
[EXT. VARIOUS HOLLYWOOD (STREET) - NIGHT]
(Various shots of prostitutes walking the street in front of various establishments.)
Dakota: Hey.
"JERSEY" (ELLIE): Hey. You get anything?
Dakota: No.
(A car pulls up alongside them.)
"DAKOTA": My, uh, knight in shining German armor has arrived.
"JERSEY" (ELLIE): See if he has room for two.
(Dakota sighs. They lock pinkies as Dakota heads for the car.)
"JERSEY" (ELLIE): Careful.
(Dakota leans over the curb and looks into the car.)
Dakota: Hey. You wanna party?
(Dakota looks back at "Jersey". Dakota gets into the car and closes the door. She waves back at "Jersey".)
("Jersey" signals for Dakota to give her a call. The car drives away.)
FLASH TO:
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - DESK - MORNING]
("Jersey" is at the police station. The officer at the desk isn't too interested in what she's saying.)
Officer: It's only been a few hours.
"JERSEY" (ELLIE): Dakota always calls me. We have a system. Something is wrong.
Officer: Why don't you go home, Jersey? Eat something for once, get some sleep.
(Disgusted, "Jersey" turns to leave. With a last look at the officer, she slaps her hand on the counter in frustration, then leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY]
(Walking along the sidewalk, "Jersey" takes out her cell phone and dials.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. (LAS VEGAS) POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE - DAY]
(Brass is working when his phone rings. He puts the pen down and answers it.)
Brass: (to phone) Hello.
Ellie Brass: Hello, Dad?
Brass: Ellie. Are you okay?
SMASH CUT TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY]
(Brass steps out of his office and looks both ways down the hallway. He sees the sheriff and heads over to him.)
Brass: Oh, hey, Sheriff. I'm glad I caught you.
(Brass stops in front of the sheriff.)
Brass: Um ... I got to take some emergency leave. It's a ... it's a family matter.
Sheriff Burdick: I didn't know you had a family.
Brass: Well, you're new. We haven't had a chance to talk. Um ... I, uh, briefed my lieutenant on my cases. He'll cover for me for a couple of days.
Sheriff Burdick: This is not a good time for family problems. All the narco guys are at a HIDTA conference. I got no backup. I'm still learning the ropes here.
(Brass chuckles.)
Brass: Well, it's never a good time to have a family problem, Sheriff. Look, I don't ask for time off normally. I'd appreciate the courtesy.
Sheriff Burdick: Do I have a choice here, Jim?
(The sheriff continues down the hallway.)
Sheriff Burdick: (over his shoulder) Get back here as soon as you can.
(Brass watches the sheriff go.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. MIKE'S DINER (STOCK) -- DAY]
[INT. MIKE'S DINER - DAY]
(The waitress takes the money off the counter. Brass stands in front of the small counter-top display and picks up a cellophane-wrapped gift with a small pink bear near the ribbon tie on top.)
(Brass puts the small gift on the counter. He counts out the bills and pays the cashier.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[HIGHWAY]
(Top view down of the highway.)
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - HIGHWAY - DAY]
[EXT. CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT BUILDING - DAY]
(Brass walks up to the front of the building.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OFFICE - DAY]
(Brass and Annie Kramer hug.)
Annie Cramer: You look good, Jimmy.
Brass: You do, too, Annie.
(Annie Kramer goes to sit behind her desk.)
Brass: L.A. seems to agree with you.
Annie Cramer: Oh, yeah, well, I couldn't take another Jersey winter.
(She sits down. Brass sits down across her desk.)
Annie Cramer: Or another Jersey cop.
Brass: You stay in touch with the old crew?
Annie Cramer: You know, dirty cops don't like to hang with clean ones.
Brass: So that's why they called me squeaky?
Annie Cramer: I thought what you did took a lot of guts. Integrity is, um, hard to come by in vice.
Brass: Yeah, it's the only detail where you're told to drink, gamble and pick up hookers, all the while carrying a gun.
Annie Cramer: Garden of Eden. Temptation kills you, or it compromises you.
Brass: So, you got my message? My daughter Ellie and her friend Dakota were out partying and Dakota got in some guy's car. Ellie was able to pull a partial. Something about a whale tail.
(Brass hands Annie Kramer the notebook paper with:
CA PLATE
1TA )
Annie Cramer: California Coastal Commission specialty plates. I'll run it through DMV. Cross reference with BMWs. In the meantime, I pulled Dakota's rap sheet.
Brass: She has a sheet?
Annie Cramer: They both do.
(Brass nods.)
Annie Cramer: She, uh, works a stretch on Hollywood Boulevard between Highland and Vine.
(She hands the file to Brass. He opens it and sees a photo of Dakota holding the ID numbers:
POLICE DEPT
Annie Cramer: When was the last time you saw Ellie, Jimmy?
Brass: About three years ago. Um, she got into some trouble in Vegas. Hanging around with a bad bunch.
(Brass looks at the rap sheet:
REYNOLDS, SASHA
DOB: 03/04/83 s*x/F RAC/C WGT/120 EYE/BRO
AKA: 01 DAKOTA
KNOWN ASSOCIATES: BRASS, ELLIE
AKA: JERSEY )
(Brass catches a glimpse of the name and looks away.)
Brass: Looks like her taste in people hasn't changed much.
(He shuts the file. Annie hands Brass a slip of paper.)
Annie Cramer: Here. Last known address. In case you don't have it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. STREET -- DAY]
(Brass pulls up the front of a dingy apartment building. In the background, a dog barks. Brass gets out of the car and looks at the building. Graffiti litters the walls. He looks up and sees Ellie step up to the open window.)
(He reaches into the car and grabs his cell phone. We note the pink bear gift in the front seat. With his eye on the window, he makes the call.)
Brass: Ellie, it's your dad.
Ellie Brass: (to phone) How'd you get this number?
Brass: Relax, take it easy. I got it off caller I.D.
Ellie Brass: (to phone) Oh, okay. So did you make the call?
Brass: Yeah. LAPD's looking into it.
Ellie Brass: (to phone) Thanks.
Brass: Hey, how are you doing?
Ellie Brass: (to phone) Great, actually. Livin' at the beach, temping, waiting tables. Got some really good friends.
(As Brass watches, a man steps up to the window next to Ellie. He's smoking a pipe and offers it to her. She inhales. He also inhales.)
Ellie Brass: (to phone) It's a big bowl of cherries.
(She smiles. The man puts his arm around her waist and lingers.)
Brass: (to phone) Okay, um, I'll call you when I hear something, all right?
(Brass hangs up.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. (KOREATOWN) - NIGHT]
(Cops are parked around an area. Brass gets out of his car and meets with Annie Kramer.)
Annie Cramer: Hey, Jim.
Brass: Hey.
Annie Cramer: We found the beemer. Found these two kids trying to hotwire it. Whale tail license plate starting with One-T-A.
Brass: Let's talk to them.
Annie Cramer: I'll talk, you listen.
(Annie and Brass walk up to the two kids.)
Annie Cramer: All right, what the hell's the matter with you? You looking to die young? 'Cause you can do it inside in lock-up or outside with this wanna-be gang banger stealing cars crap.
Kid 1: We weren't stealing nothing. Window was already busted. Car wouldn't even start. We were just playing around.
Annie Cramer: You like playing with cars, huh? LAPD's having a car wash fund-raiser on Saturday. You just signed yourselves up. You're welcome.
(She steps up and motions to the officer nearby.)
Annie Cramer: Come on.
(The officer unlocks the kids' handcuffs.)
Brass: So, no Rudy Giuliani broken windows theory here, huh?
Annie Cramer: Jimmy, windows are already broken. Someone's got to fix 'em.
(They walk up to the BMW for a closer look. Brass notices a sticker on the broken windshield.)
Brass: Hey, check this out. B-H-G-C?
Annie Cramer: Looks like a country club or something. Doesn't read like Koreatown. I'll have my guys run the plates.
Brass: Anybody checked the trunk?
Annie Cramer: Not yet.
(Brass opens the hood.)
(The spare tire is missing.)
Annie Cramer: Doesn't look good for Ellie's friend.
(Annie takes out her cell phone and dials.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. LOBBY (HIDTA CONFERENCE) - NIGHT]
(Matt Glazer answers his phone.)
Matt Glazer: (to phone) Glazer. Yeah, we're just finishing up. No traffic. I'll be there in about twenty minutes. Okay.
(He hangs up and taps Warrick on his shoulder.)
Matt Glazer: Vegas?
(Warrick turns around.)
Warrick: Hmm?
Matt Glazer: You know a Jim Brass?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. VARIOUS LOS ANGELES CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) -- NIGHT]
[EXT. (KOREATOWN) -- NIGHT]
(Warrick and Matt Glazer arrive at the site.)
Warrick: Where he at?
Matt Glazer: (points) (garbled) Over there.
(Warrick walks over to Brass.)
Warrick: Jim.
Brass: Rick. Rick, what are you doing here?
Warrick: I'm here for the HIDTA conference. Buddy of mine from L.A.P.D. told me there was a new captain in town, stirring things up. What are you doing here?
Brass: Ah, it's a long, sad story, man.
Warrick: Have anything to do with a feisty little blonde named Ellie?
Brass: She's not a blonde anymore. Let's check out the car.
(Brass and Warrick head over to the car. Annie Kramer stands near the trunk. Brass makes the introductions.)
Brass: Captain Annie Kramer, this is Warrick Brown from Las Vegas.
Annie Cramer: Good to meet you.
(They shake hands.)
Warrick: Good to meet you.
Matt Glazer: (to Brass) Matt Glazer, L.A.P.D. Crime lab.
Brass: Hey, Jim Brass.
(They shake hands.)
(Warrick looks at the car.)
Warrick: Well, I thought L.A. was all about car culture. This reminds me of home.
Matt Glazer: Trunk's been stripped clean.
Warrick: Too clean.
Matt Glazer: Oh, they missed a spot.
(Camera zooms in to the spot that was missed.)
Matt Glazer: Looks like two large caliber bullet holes.
Warrick: But a bullet hole wouldn't make those markings. What is that?
Matt Glazer: I don't know.
Warrick: It looks like a tool marking.
(Quick flash of: A crowbar-like tool is in the hole being jammed in and twisted around, leaving the area scratched up. End of flash. Resume to present.)
Matt Glazer: Let's haul it back to impound and find out.
(Matt Glazer picks up his things and heads out. He looks at Annie Kramer.)
Matt Glazer: I'll be in touch.
Annie Cramer: Thanks.
Warrick: Hey, you know, uh, Jim, I'm here all weekend. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. (to Annie) Pleasure meeting you.
Annie Cramer: Same here.
(Warrick walks past Brass.)
Warrick: (to Brass) Remember, what happens in L.A., stays in L.A.
(Warrick leaves. Brass looks at Annie.)
Annie Cramer: You still a scotch man?
Brass: I'll take a rain check, okay.
(He smiles and winks at her. Brass turns and walks away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HOLLYWOOD (STREET) - NIGHT]
(A car pulls up to the curb. Ellie gets out; the car leaves. She starts walking along the sidewalk.)
(Another car pulls up to the curb. She walks up to the car and knocks on the glass.)
Ellie Brass: Hey, baby, you want to party?
(Brass rolls down the window. Ellie looks at her dad.)
Brass: Ellie ...
Ellie Brass: Oh, I can't ever trust you. All I did was ask you to make a call.
Brass: How's the beach house?
Ellie Brass: Go to hell.
Brass: I have information about your friend, Dakota. Get in.
Ellie Brass: All right. But I'm not playing twenty questions with you.
(Ellie slips into the car.)
(Just then, a cop car passes, lights flashing.)
Ellie Brass: So, did you find her body?
(Brass looks at Ellie.)
Brass: No. But we found the car.
Ellie Brass: So she could still be alive?
Brass: We found blood in the trunk.
Ellie Brass: No, no, no, she's alive. I can feel it.
Brass: Look, do you have anything with her DNA on it, like a hair brush or toothbrush or ... ?
Ellie Brass: No. We keep all that stuff in our purse.
Brass: How about clothes or sheets or pillowcases, like that?
Ellie Brass: We share everything else.
Brass: Even the bed?
Ellie Brass: I told you I'm not playing that game.
Brass: If the lab doesn't have anything to match the blood to, then we'll never know. That's it.
(She looks away and sniffs.)
Brass: Come on, let's get some dinner, huh? You look hungry.
Ellie Brass: Wait. Blood. We went and got tested last week at the free clinic on Ivar. Maybe they keep it.
Brass: Tested for what?
Ellie Brass: What do you think?
Brass: Don't you use protection?
Ellie Brass: Guys pay extra for bareback.
(She looks away. Brass sighs.)
Brass: You're a lot smarter than that, Ellie. Come on.
Ellie Brass: Yeah, well, just because you want me to be smarter and sweeter and safer doesn't mean I am. And I got to go. Guess you know how to find me if you hear anything.
Brass: Don't go away. Don't-don't leave, don't leave.
Ellie Brass: You're one to talk. All my life, that's all you did, walk out. Now we're gonna Norman Rockwell it? Look around, Dad. It's too late.
Brass: Don't leave.
(Ellie gets out of the car.)
Ellie Brass: Leave me alone.
(She slams the door and leaves.)
Brass: Ellie. Ellie!
(Camera holds on Brass.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. FREE CLINIC -- DAY]
[INT. FREE CLINIC - HALLWAY -- DAY]
(Brass and Annie talk with the doctor at the Free Clinic.)
Doctor: Here at the clinic, we pride ourselves a confidential relationship with our patients. This is a highly unusual request.
Annie Cramer: I understand, but we're investigating a possible homicide here.
Brass: We found blood in the trunk of a car. We have reason to believe it could be Sasha Reynolds', street name Dakota.
Annie Cramer: We're not interested in whether it's positive or negative. We need it for the DNA.
(A young blonde woman walks up to the doctor.)
Doctor: How many do you need?
Woman: Ten.
(The doctor looks at her. The woman looks sheepish.)
Woman: Twelve.
(The doctor looks at the clerk who hands her the condoms. The doctor hands the condoms to the woman.)
Brass: Is that all the help they get?
Doctor: These kids come from all over the place with stars in their eyes. While they're waiting to be discovered, they still got to pay their rent. They do a bump to turn their first trick. Next they're turning tricks to get their next bump. We do what we can. You do what you do.
(Annie's phone rings.)
Annie Cramer: Excuse me.
(She steps away to answer it. The clerk hands the doctor a zip-loc bag with the vial of blood in it. The doctor hands it to Brass.)
Annie Cramer: (to phone) (o.s.) Yeah. Kramer.
Doctor: Good luck.
Brass: Good luck to you, too, doctor.
Annie Cramer: (to phone) You're kidding me. Terrific. Okay. We're on it. Bye.
(She hangs up as Brass steps up to her.)
Annie Cramer: We got an R.O. on the car.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HOLLYWOOD SIGN (STOCK) - DAY]
[EXT. PICCONE RESIDENCE - FRONT DRIVE - DAY]
(Annie Kramer and Brass walk up the front drive of the large home. Brass picks up the paper and follows Annie to the front door.)
[EXT. PICCONE RESIDENCE - FRONT PORCH - DAY]
(Annie rings the doorbell. The door opens. A young, well-dressed man in a suit and tie answers. He smiles at Annie.)
Todd Piccone: Captain Kramer.
Annie Cramer: Hey, Todd.
(Todd glances at Brass.)
Todd Piccone: What's up?
Annie Cramer: I, uh, stumbled across something. Thought I'd pay you a house call. You missing a car?
Todd Piccone: Yeah, it was stolen.
(Again, Todd glances at Brass.)
Annie Cramer: You didn't report it.
Todd Piccone: No, I didn't.
Annie Cramer: What's that about?
(Todd turns and looks at Brass.)
Todd Piccone: Who are you?
(Brass smiles at Todd.)
Annie Cramer: I'm sorry, this is an old friend of mine, Captain Jim Brass, Vegas P.D.
(Brass gives Todd his newspaper. Todd puts the paper aside.)
Todd Piccone: Off the record?
Annie Cramer: Okay.
Todd Piccone: I went down the hill. I was, um ... lonely. Partook of the services of a certain kind of young lady. And while we were getting acquainted, I was carjacked.
(Quick flash of: [NIGHT] Todd Piccone and Dakota are in the car when someone carrying a gun taps on his window.)
Dakota: Just relax.
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Todd Piccone: I was set up. It was probably her pimp or drug dealer.
Brass: How'd you get up the hill?
Todd Piccone: Took a cab.
Brass: They didn't take your wallet?
Todd Piccone: Oh, the car was worth more than the cash. They knew what they were doing.
Brass: It's a pretty sweet ride. I'm still hung up on why you didn't report it.
Todd Piccone: Captain, maybe I should introduce myself. Todd Piccone, Assistant City Attorney. Let's just say that my reputation is worth more than my car.
Brass: Then maybe you should stop having dates in your front seat.
(Annie turns and looks at Brass.)
Todd Piccone: You're right. Lesson learned. Thank you, officer.
(Todd turns back to Annie.)
Todd Piccone: So the car was stripped, I'm sure, uh ... South Central? Koreatown? East L.A.?
Annie Cramer: Koreatown.
Brass: How would you know that?
Todd Piccone: 'Cause, Captain, that's where good cars go to die in Los Angeles.
Annie Cramer: Hey, Todd, I don't suppose we could take a look around?
Todd Piccone: Uh, yeah. You know, I'm expecting company. Now's not a good time.
(He closes the door on them.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. CAR (MOVING) - DAY]
Brass: We need to get a warrant to get into that house.
[INT. CAR (MOVING) - DAY]
(Annie drives.)
Annie Cramer: Oh, yeah? Well, we don't have enough.
Brass: Enough for a city attorney?
Annie Cramer: You know, give me a break. You know how many cars get jacked in L.A. every day? He admitted to being with a prostitute. What makes you think he's not telling the truth about the rest?
Brass: He's hinky. I can feel it.
Annie Cramer: Your gut can talk to my Judge. Or better yet, talk to Ellie. You should. You should get the 4-1-1 on Dakota from her.
Brass: There's an unreliable witness. So what do we do now?
(She sighs.)
Annie Cramer: We eat steak.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. MUSSO'S GRILL (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. MUSSO'S GRILL - DAY]
(Annie leads Brass into the restaurant.)
Annie Cramer: Tony, how are you doing? Table for two, please, in the back, if you could.
Brass: What are we doing here again?
Annie Cramer: I'm doing you a big favor.
(As they head toward the back, they come across a large table with various well- dressed powerful men. Judge Silvio Peters stands up to greet Annie.)
Judge Silvio Peters: Annie, hello.
Annie Cramer: Hey, Judge Peters. What a nice surprise.
Judge Silvio Peters: Nice to see you.
Annie Cramer: Good to see you. How's that porterhouse?
Judge Silvio Peters: Eh, I haven't started yet.
(Annie introduces Brass to the group of men.)
Annie Cramer: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine, Captain Jim Brass, LVPD.
Brass: Hey.
Annie Cramer: This is Judge Silvio Peters, Councilman Joe Cohen.
Brass: Judge, Councilman.
Annie Cramer: Comptroller Daniel Reichmann, and Vic Patterson.
(Brass shakes Vic Patterson's hand.)
Brass: Hey, Vic, how are you doing?
Vic Patterson: Soon to be mayor.
(Vic Patterson laughs.)
Vic Patterson: Hey, you know what? We shot a couple episodes of my show in Vegas. You remember that? Right?
Brass: Right.
Vic Patterson: The Eagle. Yeah, you guys were great. You always treated us really well.
Brass: Well, we try.
Annie Cramer: Remember how great he was as that cop?
(Vic Patterson laughs.)
Annie Cramer: Like he was playing you.
(The others around the table laugh.)
Brass: Well, that's not easy.
(As they continue talking, Annie walks over to Judge Silvio Peters and speaks to him quietly.)
Annie Cramer: (to Judge Silvio Peters) Listen, since I happened to run into you ... we found Todd Piccone's car just off of Vermont. Had bullet holes and blood in the trunk. He claims it was stolen, but I'm hoping that I could get a look around his house a bit ...
Vic Patterson: Oh, you know what? Let me get you an autograph or something. Little something for me. And a little something for you.
(Vic Patterson reaches into his jacket pocket for a pen. Brass happens to catch the tie clip he's wearing with the letters B-H-G-C on it.)
Judge Silvio Peters: If you had enough for a warrant, you wouldn't be here. You'd be on your cell phone, calling me from Tommy Burger.
(Annie suspected as much.)
Annie Cramer: Finish your steak before it gets cold.
(Vic Patterson gives Brass the napkin with his autograph on it.)
Vic Patterson: There you are.
Brass: I'm touched. Thank you, man. Thank you. Gentlemen.
Annie Cramer: Enjoy your lunch, gentlemen. Nice to see you.
Judge Silvio Peters: You as well.
(Annie and Brass leave the table.)
Annie Cramer: (to Brass) Strike one, your turn.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. HALLWAY - DAY]
(Annie and Brass walk through the hallway. We hear a television set playing loudly. They stop at apartment 2-F. Annie knocks on the door.)
(Ellie opens the door.)
Ellie Brass: Oh. Well, if it isn't Dick Tracy and his little sidekick, Nancy Drew.
Annie Cramer: We're here on official business. Just let us in.
(Annie steps into the apartment. Ellie turns around and heads inside. Brass steps inside. On the television is an ad for Vic Patterson's campaign.)
Vic Patterson: (from tv) Vote Vic Patterson. Put some action back in government.
(Ellie sits on the bed.)
Announcer: (from tv) Vic Patterson has a plan for Los Angeles. He wants to restore trust in City Hall. Vic Patterson has the energy it takes to get Los Angeles back on track ...
Annie Cramer: You and Dakota have the same pimp?
Ellie Brass: No. We don't have a pimp. We're independent.
Brass: I can see that.
Annie Cramer: Look, if she were gonna pull a con with some guy, who would it be?
Ellie Brass: She's not like that.
Annie Cramer: So other than her customers, there's, what, no men in her life? You and she are ...
Ellie Brass: Roommates.
Brass: Look, you can be cute, or you can help us find your friend. What's it gonna be?
Ellie Brass: Well, there's this guy named Ronnie, all right? He was kind of like her boyfriend. Sometimes he would get jealous when she turned tricks.
Annie Cramer: Where do we find this Casanova?
(She points upstairs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Brass leads Annie through the hallway.)
Annie Cramer: Look, you know I can't go in there without probable cause or a warrant.
Brass: You're not gonna arrest me for breaking and entering, are you?
(Annie sighs.)
Annie Cramer: Jimmy, what are you hoping to find in there?
Brass: I'll know it when I see it.
(Brass knocks on the door.)
(With his gun out, he breaks the door in. He and Annie linger in the doorway.)
(Inside the apartment is a regular meth lab - buckets, containers, supplies and a hot plate on the tables, chairs and floors.)
Brass: Smelled something in the hallway. That's why we broke in, right?
Annie Cramer: Yep.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. APARTMENT - DAY]
(Warrick picks up an empty box and looks at it.)
Annie Cramer: L.A. has over two hundred criminalists. You got to bring your own guy?
Brass: Well, Rick is like a vampire. He needs to be invited in.
(Warrick hears that one and smiles.)
Annie Cramer: If this goes to court, Warrick's going to have to come back and testify.
(Warrick stands up.)
Warrick: Well, you got beaches, bikinis. Free trip to L.A.? I'm down. (He looks around.) So we got coffee filters, cough medicine, matches, camping fuel ... hot plates.
Brass: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Warrick: If this is a meth lab, then there would be free iodine coated all over these walls. And if Matt packed this kit right, I would have some spray starch
(Warrick opens the kit and takes out a spray can. Warrick walks over to the nearest wall.)
Warrick: ... that would react with the iodine ...
(Warrick sprays the wall and it turns blue.)
Warrick: ... turning it a nice dodger blue. Yes, it's a meth lab.
(Quick flash to: [TOP VIEW DOWN OF TABLE] Fast Forward. Ronnie picks off the items from the table and goes around the room between tables as he works on creating his stuff. He puts the dish on the hot plate and takes a drink of beer as he watches it bubble and cook. The stuff in the dish hardens into powder.)
(End of flash. Resume to present.)
Annie Cramer: So meth dealer and his hooker girlfriend looking for a quick score. Carjacking's not such a stretch. Neighbors are lucky he didn't blow the whole building up.
Brass: No guns, no blood. Nothing in plain sight linking him to Dakota's disappearance.
Annie Cramer: Well, we'll haul him in on manufacturing. We'll get what we can out of him.
Warrick: Jail would be an improvement over this hole.
(Suddenly, Ronnie appears in the doorway brandishing a gun, nervously waving it from side to side. Annie and Brass both take their guns out and point it steadily at Ronnie.)
Annie Cramer: Drop the gun! Now!
Brass: Put the gun down!
Ronnie: Bad guys go away.
Brass: Put the gun down.
Ronnie: You're trying to rob me?
Annie Cramer: Drop the gun!
Ronnie: I'm being robbed by cops? You're trying to rob me!
(Warrick stays where he is and watches.)
(Ronnie starts to cry.)
Brass: (slowly, clearly) Don't make me shoot you. Put the gun down.
Annie Cramer: Come on.
(Ronnie puts the gun down on the ground. He puts his hands over his face as he cries.)
(Camera holds on Brass.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(Coroners remove the dead body. They carry it in an open bag to the gurney waiting on the grass nearby. In the background, we see Brass standing with Ellie.)
Annie Cramer: How long has the body been here?
Officer: ... about three and a half hours now.
(They put the body on the gurney. Brass and Ellie walk as the coroners wheel the body a little up the path.)
Officer: Jogger found her, called it in. Description matched your broadcast.
(Quick flash of CGI POV: The body hits the water and sinks to the bottom. The longer the body stays on the bottom of the water, the body fills with gasses that expand and fill it.)
Officer: (V.O.) Looks like body gas has brought her to the top.
(End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Officer: God, somebody beat the pulp out of her. Any leads?
Annie Cramer: Yeah, he's detoxing in the tank.
(She looks at the officer.)
Annie Cramer: This is why I don't believe in easy money.
(The officer nods. Annie turns to Ellie.)
Annie Cramer: Ellie.
Brass: You have to identify the body.
(Brass leads Ellie to the gurney. As they get nearer, Annie leads Ellie to the gurney. Ellie pulls away, but Annie holds on to her.)
(Brass walks away.)
Ellie Brass: I'm going to be sick.
Annie Cramer: No, come here. Come on. Look, I just need an answer. Is this your friend?
(Ellie looks at the gurney and nods as she holds back her tears.)
(Done, she breaks away.)
Brass: (softly) Hey. Hey.
(Ellie brushes past Brass, ignoring him.)
(Brass' phone rings. Brass turns and watches Ellie run across the playground area outside the crime scene tape. She sits on the slide. Brass answers his phone.)
(Brass sighs.)
Brass: (to phone) Brass.
Sheriff: (from phone) Family business?
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. (LAS VEGAS) POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT]
(The sheriff walks through the hallway while he's on the phone.)
Sheriff: That is a wedding or a funeral, or a bar mitzvah. That is not permission to become a vice cop in another jurisdiction. Get back here now.
Brass: Who you been talking to?
Sheriff: Not that it matters. The police chief called me after Judge Peters called him. I hear they do a nice t-bone at Musso's.
Brass: Look, my kid's in trouble, Ben.
Sheriff: Well, if she's not dead, you get your ass back here.
(Brass watches as Ellie cries.)
Brass: Look, write me up for insubordination. I can't come back now.
(Brass hangs up.)
(Annie watches as Brass lifts the crime scene tape and heads over to Ellie.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. (LOS ANGELES) POLICE DEPARTMENT -- INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT]
(Annie Kramer interviews Ronnie.)
Annie Cramer: You have a prior. Mandatory minimum for manufacturing -- ten to fifteen.
(Brass watches from the observation room.)
Annie Cramer: You start to talk about Dakota, we'll see what we can do.
Ronnie: Dakota? Now, what that crazy bitch got to do with this, huh? What, she snitched on me?
Annie Cramer: Not before you killed her.
Ronnie: I didn't kill nobody.
Annie Cramer: You have a relationship with her?
Ronnie: Yeah, we kicked it, all right? We kicked it. Look, I would never kill no girl with all that good ... all right, look, let's just say I enjoyed having her live downstairs from me, man. Listen ... she knew when to open her mouth and when to keep it closed. Now, her girl, Jersey ... oh, God, the best mouth I ever had. Mmm. That mouth gave me a lot of pleasure. It just never stopped.
Annie Cramer: Where were you two nights ago?
Ronnie: Out.
Annie Cramer: (hard) Be more specific!
Ronnie: I-I-I was seeing customers, all right?
Annie Cramer: Dakota?
Ronnie: No.
Annie Cramer: You like BMWs?
Ronnie: (shouts, agitated) Bitch, what the f- ... What are you talking about?!
(The officer in the room steps forward; Annie stops him.)
Annie Cramer: Watch your mouth! I'll lay it out for you.
(Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] Ronnie knocks on the BMW's glass. The door opens.)
Ronnie: Come on, man. Get out of the car.
Todd Piccone: All right.
(Todd Piccone gets out of the car.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The BMW drives away, leaving Todd Piccone outside.)
[INT. CAR (MOVING) - NIGHT]
(Ronnie talks with Dakota.)
Ronnie: So, how was he?
Dakota: What do you mean?
Ronnie: You wasn't supposed to do him.
(He hits her in the face. She screams.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Dakota is in the trunk of the car, her face beaten. Ronnie points the gun at her and fires.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Ronnie takes the body out of the car and dumps it in the pond.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Ronnie: You want me to admit to a murder I didn't commit so you can reduce a drug charge?
(He sniffs and shakes his head.)
Ronnie: What, you high, right? Y-y-you must me high.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OBSERVATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS]
(Annie joins Brass in the observation room. She closes the door.)
Annie Cramer: I'm sorry you had to hear that.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY]
(Brass steps out into the hallway and walks over to Ellie.)
Ellie Brass: What did he say?
(Brass shakes his head and walks past her.)
Ellie Brass: Dad?
Brass: You were right; I shouldn't have come.
Ellie Brass: I told you he didn't do it. It was that guy in the car. You've got to find him.
Brass: Don't you understand? We just pulled your best friend out of a lake. I mean, it was just luck it wasn't you.
Ellie Brass: Yeah, well, it wasn't me.
Brass: Yeah, not today. But look at you. You've turned yourself into a disposable human being. Don't you get it? You're nothing but plumbing.
Ellie Brass: What, you're going to send me to my room and ground me? Have a patrol car pick me up at prom? Or spank me?
Brass: Okay. You're right. You're right. I messed up. But I'm just trying to do the best that I can. I wish you could say the same thing.
(Brass turns and leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. POLICE IMPOUND -- DAY]
(Matt Glazer tests for gunshot residue.)
Matt Glazer: Clothes test positive for lead wipe. Confirmed bullet hole.
Warrick: Did her DNA match the blood that you swabbed from the trunk?
Matt Glazer: Yeah, but the autopsy report said she wasn't shot.
Warrick: So, what's with the bullet holes?
(They think about it for a moment.)
Warrick: Clean-up.
(Quick flash of: The gun fires twice. The crowbar is put into the hole. End of flash. Resume to present.)
(Warrick lies on a dolly and rolls under the car. He finds one bullet hole and sticks his pinky finger in the hole.)
Warrick: One bullet exited. Is the other hole to the left or to the right?
Matt Glazer: About seven and a half, eight inches up.
(Warrick looks for it.)
Warrick: That's the gas tank.
(Matt Glazer empties the gas tank. The gasoline is stained red with blood. He searches the liquid and finds a bullet. Warrick picks up the bullet.)
Matt Glazer: Looks like a .45. Big, fat and slow. Lucky for us, it didn't have enough power to go through-and-through the gas tank.
Warrick: Yeah. Look at that. No wonder those hood rats couldn't get the car started. It won't run on blood.
Matt Glazer: Well, that tweaker you busted just got bumped off the top of the list. He had a nine millimeter.
Warrick: You think you could run this through IBIS?
Matt Glazer: We do have that here.
(Warrick smiles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MOTEL ROOM -- DAY]
(Brass is on the phone.)
Brass: (to phone) Hey, Doc, did you get my fax?
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. (LAS VEGAS) CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY]
(Doc Robbins is sitting at his desk and is on the phone.)
Robbins: (to phone) Yeah, I did.
Brass: (from phone) Yeah, well, it's all Greek to me. Can you help me out?
Robbins: (to phone) Mmm, sure, of course. But I thought you were asked to come home.
Brass: (from phone) I'll be home tomorrow.
Robbins: (to phone) I hope she was worth it.
Brass: (to phone) What do you mean?
Robbins: (from phone) I don't know; I mean, you put your career on the line. I assume there's a woman involved.
Brass: What are you, a detective now?
Robbins: All right; let's take a look at this. FX, OC-- that's a fractured osseocartilaginous -- that's a broken nose.
(Quick flash of: [AUTOPSY] Close-up of the examiner moving the nose.)
Robbins: (V.O.) FX, ST, CL -- sternal clavicle, ...
(The examiner feels the body's chest.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Robbins: ... and LAC, SDH on her head -- Lacerations and subdural hematomas.
Brass: Cause of death?
Robbins: It looks like exsanguination.
Brass: So, she was beaten and left to die?
Robbins: Beaten with something specific. The L.A. coroner noted repetitive patterned contusions.
(Quick flash of: The repetitive patterns on the body.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Brass: Anything else?
Robbins: Yeah, the coroner's assistant who prepped her body ...
(Quick flash of: The examiner collects the substance under the fingernails.)
Robbins: (V.O.) ... collected a green, waxy substance under her fingernails.
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Robbins: Also, looks like he found concrete chunks in a bag tied to her waist.
(Brass picks up a couple of photos.)
Brass: Probably what they used to weigh her down in the lake.
(Quick flash of: The bag around Dakota's waist.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. PICCONE'S DRIVE - DAY]
(Brass is looking at one of the concrete blocks dug up from Tony Piccone's drive. Annie Kramer is next to Brass.)
Annie Cramer: You want to say I told you so?
Brass: No. I just want it to be over with and have a happy ending.
(Tony Piccone rushes out of the house escorted by two officers. He heads down the drive. Warrick and Matt Glazer are there. They stop talking and turn to watch.)
Tony Piccone: What the hell's going on? What's up?
Annie Cramer: Sorry, Todd. We got the warrant; we have to search.
(Annie and Brass head for the house. Tony tries to follow them, but the officers stop him.)
Tony Piccone: You got to be kidding me. Wha ... ?
Officer: Stay here.
(Warrick, Matt Glazer, Annie, and Brass head into the house.)
Tony Piccone: I just had the floors polished. Will you at least take your shoes off, please?
Brass: I sleep in my shoes, Todd.
[INT. PICCONE'S RESIDENCE - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(They climb up the stairs to the second level.)
Matt Glazer: This guy married?
Annie Cramer: No.
Matt Glazer: Mm-hmm. Anyone else's gaydar going off?
Warrick: Well, he did have a female hooker in his ride.
Brass: Well, maybe he swings both ways.
Warrick: Why, because he has this nice shag carpet?
(Warrick touches the carpet.)
Warrick: This carpet's wet.
(Matt Glazer and Warrick remove the shag carpet. They find a large bloodstain underneath.)
Warrick: Oh, yeah. That's a lot of blood.
Matt Glazer: How much, you figure?
Warrick: I don't know -- two, three pints?
Annie Cramer: Nobody loses that much blood and lives.
Brass: She died in this room.
Warrick: I don't think we'll be able to get any DNA off this. The carpet solvents probably compromised the sample.
Brass: She was beaten multiple times. There must be some spatter or cast-off.
(Matt reaches into his kit. He sprays the nearest wall. He gets a blue glow, but the wall television is on.)
Matt Glazer: I can't get a clean read.
(Warrick stands up near the wall television set.)
Warrick: You know what? It's this metal surface. It's giving us a false positive.
(Warrick puts his face to the side of the wall and looks at the television set.)
Warrick: Does anyone see a remote?
Brass: Yeah, got one right here.
Warrick: Could you hit the input button until we find a blue screen?
Brass: Yeah.
(Brass changes the input to the blue screen. They find a large crack in the monitor glass. There's some blood in the crack.)
Warrick: Look at that.
Matt Glazer: I'll get a sample for DNA.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PICCONE RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Warrick and Brass walk through the kitchen.)
Warrick: Nice place.
Brass: Mmm.
(Warrick opens the trash bins in the kitchen.)
Brass: Who needs three trash bins?
Warrick: Someone with a lot of dirt.
(In the third trash bin, there are empty hard alcohol bottles.)
Warrick: Wow. Big party. Tequila. Whiskey. Gin. Absinthe.
Brass: The coroner found green wax under Dakota's fingernails.
(Camera zooms in for a close-up of the nail marks on the green neck on one of the bottles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. (LOS ANGELES) POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY]
(Annie Kramer interviews Tony Piccone.)
Tony Piccone: (sighs) Yes, I solicited her.
Annie Cramer: So, you admit to having sexual relations with Sasha Reynolds, A.K.A. Dakota?
Tony Piccone: No.
Annie Cramer: But money changed hands?
Tony Piccone: I paid her $60.
Annie Cramer: For what?
Tony Piccone: I drove her back to my house and introduced her to a friend.
Annie Cramer: And then?
Tony Piccone: I have no knowledge of what happened after that.
Annie Cramer: Does this friend have a name?
Tony Piccone: Mmm. A big one.
Annie Cramer: You know, Todd, I think you're smart enough to recognize consciousness of guilt. (Todd swallows.) Blood in your house, in your car. All of which was cleaned up. This friend worth going to prison for?
Tony Piccone: Turn off that mic.
(Annie gives Tony a look. She reaches for the switch and glances at the mirror behind her.)
[INT. OBSERVATION ROOM]
(Brass watches, but can't hear anything.)
(Annie turns the switch back on.)
Annie Cramer: (loud) Officer.
(The interview room door opens and the officer outside steps into the room.)
(Tony Piccone stands up and goes with the officer. Annie watches him go.)
(She turns to Brass.)
Annie Cramer: He invoked.
(Brass nods.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(Brass is out walking. A car pulls into the parking lot behind him, headlights gleaming directly at Brass.)
(The car comes to a stop in front of him, brakes squealing.)
Brass: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
(It's Warrick.)
Warrick: I wanted to catch you before you left. I got a look at the print results from the bottles that we collected just before I was escorted out and asked to leave the lab.
Brass: They say why?
Warrick: No, but I think I know why.
(Brass nods.)
Warrick: It's like Chinatown, Jim.
Brass: So visiting hours are over, doctor. It's time to go.
Warrick: What about Ellie?
Brass: What about her?
Warrick: Well, she's the only one who can I.D. Todd Piccone as the driver.
Brass: Well, I couldn't get much out of Annie, but I don't think Piccone killed Dakota -- it wasn't his scene.
Warrick: I don't know. He's involved. It's his house. It's his car. It's his party.
Brass: Who's going to believe a tweaker hooker?
Warrick: You better hope nobody, or she'll be taking a dirt nap.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. ELLIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT]
(Ellie sits at her vanity putting on her make-up. The phone rings.)
Ellie: (answering machine) Hey, it's Ellie. Leave a message and I'll get back at you when I can.
Brass: Yeah, uh, Ellie, it's, it's your dad. Listen, you were right about the guy; he's a pretty important person with pretty important friends. So, uh, do me a favor. Don't go out tonight. Okay?
(The answering machine beeps off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[INT. BRASS' MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT]
(Warrick picks up a bottle.)
Warrick: If Dakota had wax under her fingernails, I think she must have been doing more than just pouring.
Brass: Self defense?
(Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] Dakota screams. She grabs the bottle by the neck, her fingernails digging into the wax. She stands up and tries to swing at her attacker.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Brass: Who was she defending against?
Warrick: From the prints that we got off the bottle, I have a list of six suspects.
(Warrick takes out the notebook paper from his pocket and reads the list of names to Brass.)
Warrick: Silvio Peters, Joe Cohen ...
Brass: Wait a minute. Silvio Peters? He's a judge. He's on the list?
Warrick: Yeah. Daniel Reichmann, Vic Patterson, Todd Piccone, Parker Smythe.
Brass: They're all in AFIS?
Warrick: Yeah. I mean, you can be in AFIS for a lot of reasons. After 9-11, anyone who works in a government building.
Brass: Right. I mean, doctors, lawyers, right.
Warrick: Or anyone who has a permit to carry a concealed weapon.
(Brass looks at Warrick just as Warrick gets an idea.)
Warrick: You know what?
(Warrick sits down in the nearest chair. He puts the phone on the table on speaker phone and dials.)
(The phone rings.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. (LAS VEGAS) CSI - LAB - NIGHT]
(Nick is looking through a scope when his phone rings. He answers it.)
Nick: Hello!
Warrick: Hey, Nicky. Where are you? Are you near a computer? Can you do me a favor?
Nick: Yeah, sure. How's the conference going?
Warrick: Uh, it's intense. I have a list of suspects, all in AFIS. I want to know if any of them have a permit to carry concealed.
Nick: Okay, shoot.
Warrick: Silvio Peters, Parker Smythe, Daniel Reichmann,
(Nick types in the names.)
Nick: Mm-hmm.
Warrick: Todd Piccone, and Vic Patterson.
(The results read all NEGATIVE except for Vic Patterson who is AFFIRMATIVE.)
Nick: Vic Patterson does. Are we talking about "The Eagle"? From that TV show?
Warrick: Yeah. What kind of gun?
Nick: A .45, same kind he uses in all his cheeseball shoot-outs.
Warrick: Can you give me anything else?
Nick: Yeah, I can run the serial number through Automated Firearms Service, give you the history.
(Nick types in the serial number: T8341.)
(The results read:
AUTOMATED FIREARMS SYSTEM
COLT .45
CURRENT Owner: VIC PATTERSON
PREVIOUS Owner: BEVERLY HILLS GUN CLUB
SOLD SEPT. 28 1983 TO VIC PATTERSON )
Nick: Colt sold it to the Beverly Hills Gun Club, who, in turn, sold it to "The Eagle" on September 28, 1983.
(Quick flashes of: The BHGC sticker on the broken BMW windshield. Vic Patterson's tie clip.)
(End of flash. Resume to present.)
Brass: If he shops there, maybe he shoots there.
(Warrick nods in agreement.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY SKYLINE (STOCK) -- MORNING]
[INT. BEVERLY HILLS GUN CLUB -- DAY]
(Brass and Warrick step up to the main desk. Brass shows the man his badge.)
Brass: You know, I'm just in town for a couple of days. It's always been a dream of mine to shoot at the famous Beverly Hills Gun Club. I wonder if I could get a day pass?
Gun Club Man: For Las Vegas's finest? Sure thing.
(Warrick walks over to the gun display.)
Brass: Look, um ... tell me something. You know, is it, is it true that, uh, you know, the actor Vic Patterson shoots here?
Gun Club Man: Not really supposed to give out member info. But between you and me? The man is a damn fine shot.
Brass: No kidding.
Gun Club Man: Matter of fact, he won several of our competitions.
Brass: Wow.
Gun Club Man: You want to rent or shoot your own?
Brass: Um ... I'll shoot what Vic shoots.
Gun Club Man: (to Warrick) You shooting, too?
Warrick: Nah, I'm just going to hang back. Let him blow off some steam.
(Brass gives Warrick a look.)
(The Gun Club man notices that Warrick is looking at Vic Patterson's award, gun and bullets.)
Gun Club Man: Ain't that something?
Warrick: Yeah, it's something.
Gun Club Man: Right this way.
(Camera lingers on the bullets in the award display. The plaque under it reads:
VIC "THE EAGEL" PATTERSON
1ST PLACE - 45 CAL SHOOTOUT
AUGUST 26, 2003 )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. CSI - LAB - DAY]
(Nick is on the phone and looking at the bullet.)
Nick: (to phone) Hey, Jim. I just got your bullet. I'm running it through IBIS right now. Not gonna ask how you got it.
(Nick sets the bullet up and runs it through the database.)
Nick: (to phone) So, did you meet him?
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. MOTEL - DAY]
Brass: (to phone) Yeah.
Nick: (to phone) Ha-ha. Yeah. Did you get his autograph for me?
Brass: (to phone) You know, actually I did, and if you get me a match, you might be able to meet him at his trial.
Nick: (to phone) Do you think that would make his autograph worth more? Or less?
(The computer beeps. The results read:
CASE REPORT: .45 CALIBER SLUG
LOGGED: OFF. MATT GLAZER
LAPD, SERVICE: 1/5/1998
EVIDENCE RETRIEVED: 4/23/05
BMW 325: WHITE CONV.
HOMICIDE INVESTIGATION PEND.
CASE# 192801_218
VEHICLE REMOVED FROM GAS
TANK, DRIVER'S SIDE.
PL 220.03 SUB00
IDENTIFICATION MARKS ENTERED INTO IBIS BY:
OFF P. LEBLANC
LAPD 28719.1
Nick: (to phone) We got a match. Entered by Matt Glazer, LAPD. Recovered from a BMW gas tank. Open investigation, homicide-related.
Brass: (to phone) Great, great. Thanks for all your help. Thank you.
Nick: (from phone) Sure.
(Warrick knocks and enters the room. Brass hangs up. Warrick sits down on the bed.)
Warrick: Was that Nick?
Brass: Yeah. IBIS confirmed the match. We're good to go. So, where you been?
Warrick: In Hollywood, thinking. You know, even if Vic Patterson did shoot up the car with his gun, that doesn't mean he killed Dakota. Just means he helped clean up.
Brass: She wasn't shot. She was beaten.
Warrick: Yeah. We need a murder weapon to nail his ass. I got these photos at a Hollywood memorabilia shop for ten bucks.
(Warrick hands Brass some photos.)
Warrick: Who do you see?
(The top-most photo is of Vic Patterson posing with his gun.)
Brass: A jackass.
Warrick: Look closer. Look at the pistol grip ... and The Eagle. You know, these autopsy photos I saw all got me thinking. This one. Look at the pattern contusions.
(Warrick picks out a particular photo and shows it to Brass. The bruising pattern on the victim matches the raised eagle logo on the gun.)
Brass: The gun is the murder weapon.
(Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] Dakota struggles against Vic Patterson. She's screaming.)
Dakota: Stop it! Stop it!
(He hits her with the handle of the gun.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(Warrick nods.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. BAR - NIGHT]
(Brass and Annie Kramer talk.)
Annie Cramer: About six months ago, this strung-out hooker comes into the PD, beat to crap, screaming that Vic Patterson had done it, and her wounds looked a lot like this. I figured it was her pimp, she was sniffing around for a settlement. Sent her home with an ice pack.
Brass: Oh. I'm sorry. I knew you thought this guy was a winner.
Annie Cramer: I worked my whole life to sit at the table with the big boys ... only to find out that the food is poisoned.
Brass: You know, the only record of this investigation is in that envelope, and half the evidence collection won't stand up in court, so it's your call. (She's thinking.) How many years you got on?
Annie Cramer: Eight back in Jersey, fifteen here.
Brass: Well, that's 23 combined. That's a lot of innings. I mean, the worse they can do is make you retire.
Annie Cramer: What am I gonna do then? Knit? This is it, Jimmy. This is all I got.
Brass: Well, if it's all you got, then you got to do it right. Remember Mike O'Toole? From Vice?
Annie Cramer: Of course I do. Broke my heart when I found out he was dirty.
Brass: Yeah, he was a heartbreaker. Broke up my marriage.
Annie Cramer: I thought I did that.
Brass: Well, Nancy used our affair because she was looking for a way out, but for me ... I mean, I guess I'm old-fashioned. You know, a bad marriage is better than no marriage ... I thought.
Annie Cramer: And you thought a kid would help?
Brass: You see, that's the thing. I didn't have a kid.
(Annie turns and looks at Brass. She puts the palm of her hand on his cheek.)
Annie Cramer: (gently) Yeah, you did. I don't see Mike O'Toole out here helping her.
Brass: Well ... I spent a good chunk of my life looking the other way. I mean, so much so that my neck got tired. So I, you know, I got a divorce. I, uh ... turned Mike and his crew in. Started over in Vegas. Ellie. She's like the unfinished business of all that.
Annie Cramer: So it's my neck now.
(Brass remains silent as he picks up his drink.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELLIE'S APARTMENT - DAY]
(Brass walks down the hallway. He comes to apartment 2-F and stops. He takes a deep breath and exhales. Brass puts the small pink bear gift on the floor in front of the door. He looks at the card in his hand for DREAM HARBOR, REHABILITATION FACILITY.)
(He flips the card over. On the back is a hand-written note:
Ellie - When you're ready, I'll make it happen. {heart} Dad
(Brass tucks the card in the cellophane. He stands up, looks at the door, then walks away back down the hallway.)
(Camera holds, then ...