Advice for dinner with prospective Ph. D. advisor and grad students? I'm applying to doctoral programs right now and I'm having dinner tomorrow night with a professor and three of his grad students. I'm very hopeful to join this lab. I've spoken with the professor before and would like to focus my attention on the students. I've never done anything like this before.

Do you  have any suggestions for questions I should ask and how I should act? I wanted to offer to pay for dinner or at least drinks since they are going to this trouble, but would that seem like I'm trying to schmooze my way in? Would it be weird for me to write notes on what they say at dinner?
To add to the Massimo's comment on not taking notes, yeah I think that would seem weird. If the conversation is about science, and a particularly interesting point comes up or you want to take note of someone's name to look up a paper, make a note on your phone.

Offering to pay might be polite, though if the prof's paying through his department or a grant I wouldn't insist. I think it's safe to say that if the grad students don't pull out their wallets, neither should you.

Just act normally. Be yourself - it is not a formal occasion. The prof will have invited his students along for two reasons:


Because dinner with just the two of you could be exceedingly awkward
So that everyone can get an impression of how you'll fit
in with the group.


Just make the usual small talk with his grad students to (hopefully) find some common ground, talk a bit about their projects, and make sure to have a good yarn about non-work-related things too. Your scientific prowess will not be assessed at the dinner table!