How to finish PhD and get through the academic job market as a new mother and primary caregiver? I am a female graduate student in a competitive phd program.  I recently had a baby.  Although this is a planned pregnancy, and I thought I had thought through the complications having a baby would bring, I am still very overwhelmed by how much different my life is now.

I don't have any time besides taking care of a newborn, and I am very sleep-deprived.  Baby's dad works full-time to support the family.  Even though it brings me a lot of joy, I just can't help but wonder whether I would ever have time for my research again.  I initially planned to go back to school in September, when baby will be about 3 months old.  But I am not sure whether I would be able to do anything next semester.  Or even the semester after next.  I initially planned to graduate next fall, but now I feel that might be a stretch.  The application starts next semester, and I should be going around giving talks and preparing for my applications.  But that feels impossible now.

And there is the financial stress.  I want to put my child in daycare at some point (like around 7,8 months), so I can have some time to do work.  But it's very expensive, and I don't know if we can afford this with our current income.  Sometimes I thought about finding an industry job after graduate school, so things would be easier.  But I don't want to give up research.

What is an effective way to deal with the stresses of being a new mother while on the job market? Specifically, how can I complete my research and apply to jobs in a situation where I am sleep deprived and child care is expensive?



This is a different question than Having children while at graduate school because I believe a female student's experience is different than a male student's experience.  Especially at infant stage, mother's role cannot be placed by others due to constant feedings.  The author in the other post also has his girlfriend/wife staying at home with the baby, so there will be much less work for him.  In my case, I would be the one taking care of the baby since my husband works full-time.  Another thing is I am already at the stage that I am about to graduate as opposed to the other post is debating whether to start the program, so I am more concerned about the graduation timeline.
Thanks for asking this important question! I will address three aspects of surviving your next year as a job market candidate and primary caregiver: changes in research style, finances, and emotional balance/accepting help with childcare.

Before launching into it though, I do want to emphasize that things get easier. Eventually, baby learns to sleep.

Research/work style: As someone who is juggling caregiving and research, you need to be find a way to use small chunks of time. It will be much harder to get long uninterrupted stretches of time, so train yourself to do without that. Break your work up into as small of chunks as possible, make a list of those chunks, and try to get to them one at a time. This may be more difficult if you are in a lab science and the only place you can work is from the lab. However, you may be able to write at home. To write, I would suggest starting by writing an outline. Then write the topic sentence of each paragraph. Each time you have 10 minutes to concentrate, write one of the paragraphs. 

Finances: The best piece of advice I got as a new mother/academic was: throw money at problems. This is not the time to be frugal or save for a rainy day. This is the rainy day. Your career path will look very different depending on whether you finish this PhD, so you should throw resources into finishing. If you can borrow money from family, do it. If you can call in favors, do that too. You should focus your spending on things that buy either sleep or time - i.e. good childcare. 

Childcare: If you plan on staying in academia, I think it is best for you to learn to embrace the positives of childcare. There are great childcare options out there, and I found that some childcare providers were just as good with my baby as I was (some probably better because they actually had more experience!). Take the time and use whatever money you have to find someone good, either for in home and daycare. This is where you want to spend because it is valuable to have peace of mind. Honestly, as a mom who has seen development up to age 2, I would say that my child cares if I am around a lot more now (at age 2) than they did at the beginning.

Furthermore, when you are home, embrace the "electronic babysitter" (the TV). Sure, it feels bad, but at least some quality research shows (http://www.slate.com/articles/business/the_dismal_science/2006/02/the_benefits_of_bozo.html) that TV doesn't harm kids. Now most programs really don't help them either, but you can get a couple of 30 minute work sessions a day using the TV without guilt. My daughter loved Fantasia (lots of fun colors and classical music!) as a baby. Now she loves Daniel Tiger, and that program has been shown to increase preschool readiness (http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2016/07/daniel-tiger-helps-teach-social-skills-preschoolers/). 

Finally, if you absolutely can't use a babysitter, embrace the two-parent household you have. As soon as your partner gets home, you leave for lab. At least one day per weekend, you are in lab. Reserve maybe one-half weekend day for family time. Yes, it will suck. You won't get time with your partner while you are in this stage. But you will get more work done, and that may lower your stress. 

P.S. The best thing I ever did to get my daughter and me sleep was moving her to another room. She was sleeping in my room and we woke each other up all night. (She snores, my husband snores.) She slept for twice as long at a time once she was in the other room.