Formal letters: is it okay to list your credentials in a long sentence? In the context of writing formal letters, usually it is required to mention person's credentials, e.g., their degree along with the dat on which the degree was conferred. 

I was wondering if it would be OK if I wrote something with the format:


  &lt;'degree title'> conferred upon &lt;'name'> by &lt;'the dept., college, university'> on&lt;'data of the award'>. 


Is it too long for a formal letter? You might also need to add opening words, something like:  


  This is to further acknowledge that The College of Computer and Information Sciences at XYZ University conferred a Master of Science in Computer science upon Ms.Sara XYZ on 1st of July 2011.


Note: if the addressing language looks odd in the example, it is because the letter will be signed by the registration office.
A sentence like you present looks just fine to me: there's nothing wrong with being a bit formal in an official formal statement, and although the sentence isn't short, it's not too long and it's very straightforward to understand.