How do I get over these (possibly sexist) feelings regarding an underqualified labmate? Well, this is kind of embarrassing for me and I am judging myself as well.

I have just started my PhD. And there is another woman who has started in the same lab as me. Over the first week, I found out that she does not know how to program well. She does not understand many basic terms and had no publication before while I had several publications. On top of that, she is being paid several thousand dollars more than me.

Now, why I am judging myself? Because of my gender (man). Before starting my PhD, I used to believe that sexism was mostly created by insecure men.

Over the past weeks I have been having difficult feelings:


Did I not work hard enough for my PhD admission? 
Could I be in a better university?
Or, is the system biased toward women?
Am I becoming sexist?


I do not know how to get over this. Any suggestions?
It seems as if you have two major issues.
1) This person doesn't know how to code
2) This person asks a lot of questions.

First, it would benefit you to remember that there are many skills required to be a good researcher. Examples include the ability to come up with good research problems, to develop theory, to read results in a way that makes connections/insights. This person may have been admitted because they are highly skilled at one of these other areas. The committee may believe that the person can pick up on the skills they lack. I myself started my PhD with horrendous gaps in my knowledge (my friends tell me that they were horrified by the questions I asked first year), but my letter writers were able to assure the committee that I was a quick study (and I was).

Second, you should remember that learning styles vary, and some people learn best by asking questions. It may not be your learning style, but one of the reasons study groups exist is that many people learn well by walking through problems and questions with others. This is the sort of thing that the askees seem to either love or hate. I had faculty tell me that I was their favorite student because I asked great clarifying questions during their courses/departmental seminars. I had other faculty tell me that I would never succeed in academia because "no one likes people who ask questions." If you are in group two, the best thing you can do is put in some headphones so you don't appear to be available for questions.