Citing a paper under review in 2 different conferences I am currently writing 2 conference papers. One is highly quantitative in nature and the other is absolutely qualitative in nature. I am submitting both papers to conferences having deadlines in the next couple of months.

The papers present results on 3 different research questions on the same topic and are highly related with each other. You could argue that paper A + paper B together present a holistic view of the answer to these research questions. Individually, paper A and paper B show a different side to the problem since you generally get alternate points of view from quantitative and qualitative works. 

Since the papers and their results are highly interrelated, there exists a compelling reason for me to ensure that they cite each other. I have seen this question and this question which are also highly related to my question. However, my question is different enough, in my opinion to warrant a separate question. 


How should I cite these papers? (one paper is going to be in APA style and the other will be in ACM style)
Does it make good sense to contact the Associate Chairs of these conferences for further clarification?
The most important question for me is, is this ethical? Does it not break the double blind review system? I am ready to not cite these papers if that is the case.


I am having conversations with my adviser about this but just want some broader perspective from different disciplines if I am somehow missing something.
Normally, you can update citations until the proofreading stage.  I've done that at more than one occasion.  When submitting the article, I cite Myself et al. (submitted 20xx).  Then the manuscript goes through peer review, revisions, subsequently typesetting, etc.  By the time the final proofs come out, I probably know whether Myself et al. is rejected or not, and can probably provide an updated citation.  In the worst case, I can replace it by a short text that this will be considered in a future publication.