How to discuss job search with your advisor when your career plans differ from what your advisor wants you to do? I'm on the job market this fall (will earn my Ph.D. this spring), and have culled a list of open positions I would like to apply for. I'd like to talk to my advisor about this soon in regards to recommendation letters, as well as for their own information. I'm at a big US research university with an untenured advisor who would also like us all to be at an R1 school or doing research in industry when we graduate. However, my preference is for small teaching schools or lecturing positions, and my list reflects that. Additionally, I have a spouse with a Ph.D., and we will be prioritizing my spouse's job for personal reasons.

I'm among the first to graduate from my group this year. We've all been vague about our job aspirations in previous years, since we've learned that our preferences would often be discounted and it wasn't worth the argument. I don't anticipate anything drastic in this discussion, but I would like to be respectful in conveying the information while still getting across my point that I won't be applying to anywhere my advisor would be happy with.

Any recommendations on how to approach this discussion? Tips on how much to share on what's influencing my/our decisions would be helpful too.
I think a lot of how to approach it depends on the reason that your advisor things you should be heading for a traditional research career.  It's likely one of two things:


Your advisor thinks very highly of your work and doesn't want to "lose" you from the research community.
Your advisor is afraid that not placing students "highly" will reflect badly on their tenure case.


Neither of these is a good reason to choose a career path that you aren't interested in.  If it's the first, maybe you can get your advisor to listen by explaining that you really do want to embrace a teaching career.  If it's the second, then maybe you can explain that it will look a lot better on their tenure case to have an advisee placed at a well-respected teaching institution than dropping out of academia altogether.  At the end of the day, though, it's your choice and not your advisor's.

In either case, however, I would strongly recommend also seeking out other faculty members or external colleagues who understand you better. If you can find such other allies, they will be important in helping back you for the career that you want, whether or not your advisor comes around.