Fifth year of my PhD and I hate my project. What should I do? I am a PhD student in mechE. After paying the first year tuition out of pocket, I accepted a PhD project due to desperation for funding. However, after an year I realized that I hate the project. Here I made a mistake of not leaving/changing the project, I just waited out hoping I would like the project. I also asked my advisor a couple for a different project and he did not want to change my project due to sponsor obligations. For some reason I couldn’t assert myself and stayed on. However my hate for the project only grew with time and now I am in my fifth year. I have reached a stage where I absolutely hate the project and don’t know what to do. I can hardly do any work. I feel like quitting everyday and still feel it is wrong to quit this late. I have a very substandard thesis. I am lost and feel stuck, please advise on what to do. Thanks
DISCLAIMER

I serve as a mental health 1st aid officer at my school. I received basic mental health training but I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST. During this role, I have assisted many PhD students going through the same dilemma.  



PROBLEM

I totally sympathise with you. One thing to consider, however, is whether you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. PhD is a long and tough journey. The more you know the more you know you don't know. This is normal. This is OK. During a journey, the candidate suffers a lot, and many teeny tiny triggers can accumulate very quickly into pushing any PhD student over the edge. Some personal issues do contribute to the stress as well. Writing anxiety, home sickness, work-life balance and upsetting news overhyped in the media are all factors that can manifest into feeling insignificant and depressed. 

I noticed you are working in mechanical engineering (last year). A common case I witnessed with engineers, is that they enjoy the technical work more than anything else (a.k.a writing). Building cool stuff or writing a fascinating and concise piece of computer software is just euphoric. There is a chance that you experience these feelings because writing is due. There is also a chance that you feel the thesis is sub-standard because you wanted to go back and build new cool things. Basically, you need your euphoric fix. 



ADVICE

My advice to you is not to rush. Buy yourself some time to figure out what the root cause is. You can consult a therapist or a life coach (you should have access to this service via your university). There are few steps to rewire your behaviour into accommodating the current inconvenience until you finish. 


Take some time off (1 week would do). Just treat yourself in doing what you love. No work stuff. Play video games, travel, read poetry, etc. Whatever makes you happy. 
Do not feel guilty for wasting a week not working and do not let anyone to make you feel guilty about it. You needed this time off. The project needed you to take this time off.
Go back to your thesis with a fresh attitude (not feeling guilty or late). 
If you are experiencing the same feelings and still thinking about quitting. List the cool research or engineering ideas you would rather do instead of working on that project you hate. Pick one that takes N days and do it (don't work on weekends). Maybe you just need that euphoric fix. Set N=4.
Go back to your thesis again. If you still hate it, this time work on the project for at least 5-N days. 
Repeat from 2 with N=N-1. 




IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE

a. Your post-grad degree is just that. A degree. You have your entire life ahead of you after you finish. 

b. The steps I listed above are from my supervision experience. While I consulted with a psychologist in designing these steps, they do work on case by case basis and are not scientifically tested. Think of these steps as a life hack.

c. If you feel like not getting from bed in the morning for two days in a row, seek medical help. It is probably nothing or just a dietary deficiency but you better check. 

d. If you are an international student, explore the possibility that you may be feeling homesick. Do not get defensive or shy to admit it. It is real and it happens to almost everyone. 

e. I am not advocating sticking in a program that does not work for you. There is no shame in quitting. However, if you are quitting I advise you to do it for the right reasons. Please be careful of the legal consequences, if any. Also please consider the career interruption period (5 years) on your CV.