The goal of this blog is to teach men How To Get Girls. The material teaches social dynamics that influence the attraction and seduction process and help men to become more persuasive in their social interactions with women. The topic that I would like to discuss today has to do with building trust and rapport with your target.
What makes pick-up so difficult is that you are dealing with complete strangers. It is very easy for a beautiful woman to feel threatened by a complete stranger and react in negative manner to your approach strategy. Strangers are often seen as the “opposition” or the “other side” and are treated much differently than someone who they already know. It is much easier dealing with a classmate, co-worker, friend or even a friend of a friend.
A pick-up artist has the ability to avoid being a stranger, quickly building trust and rapport with his target.
The more quickly you can turn a stranger into someone that you know the better.
A relationship of trust is what causes a woman to write down her telephone number, hang-out with you and your friends, hold hands, kiss, enter your living space, and ultimately enter your bedroom.
Try hard to get to know your target. Ask questions and listen. Find out about their likes and dislikes. Share intimate and personal information / interesting facts about yourself that will allow your target to know more about you.
Mutual Gain
Approach, Approach Strategy., Attraction, Behavioral Science, Commitment Path, Getting Girls, How Do You Get Girls, Influence, Mutual Gain, Negotiation, Pick-Up Artist, Pick-Up Science, Psychology, PUA, Seduction, Social Dynamics, Social Science, Success with Women, Venusian Science, Win-Win
Men read this blog to improve their game and answer the question “How Do You Get Girls?” Each day I provide a useful tip that will help men be more persuasive with women. The material is meant to help men understand the attraction and seduction process and become more successful with women. The concept that I would like to discuss today has to do with the benefit of a mutual gain scenario in your approach.
The idea of a mutual gain scenario is to make any commitment an easy and painless decision for your target. The skill of inventing a mutual gain scenario is one of the most useful skills that a pick-up artist can have. Your goal is to invent mutually advantageous situations and create a scenario that expands the pie before dividing it. If you are successful you will easily gain her compliance.
In a nightclub environment where you are approaching beautiful women it is important to be creative and invent ways to make their decision to be with you an easy one. If your invite or commitment appears to be a ‘win-win’ for both parties she will most likely say YES!
Approach, Approach Strategy., Attraction, Behavioral Science, Dating, Disqualification, Disqualify, Getting Girls, How Do You Get Girls, How To Get Girls, Influence, Loss Aversion, Persuasion, Pick-Up Artist, Pick-Up Science, Psychology, PUA, Relationships, Seduction, Social Dynamics, Social Science, Success with Women, Venusian Science
During our training seminars men frequently ask the question “How Do You Get Girls?” I write this blog to help men improve their game and learn social dynamics that effect the attraction and seduction process. The goal is to help men become more persuasive in their social interactions with women. The concept that I would like to discuss with you today is called disqualification.
Disqualify – verb: any statement that shows a woman that you are not hitting on her, when in fact you are attracted to her.
The concept seems counter-intuitive but it is a very important building block in the attraction process.
Disqualifying is the corner stone of flirting. You show the woman that you are attracted to that you are not interested in her.
It seems counter-intuitive, but it works.
It has something to do with “loss aversion.” We naturally want what we can’t have. When we feel the loss of someone we naturally have a heightened desire for that person. We have a tendency to be more sensitive to potential losses than to potential gains. You want the conversation to shift from her thinking “this guy is hitting on me” to “This guy is non-threatening.”
Our goal when approaching women is to enter into a natural conversation and create a sense of comfort without telegraphing interest. The way we avoid telegraphing interest is through the process disqualifying. In order to build attraction you must first show her that you are not interested in her. If you approach a woman using a more aggressive strategy you appear desperate and women sense the desperation and find it unattractive.
Truly beautiful women have hundreds of men competing for their attention. When you properly disqualify your target you present a unique challenge that women find intriguing. They think “I can’t have this guy. How can I get him?” and they want what they can’t have.
Each day I make an attempt to help men answer the question “How Do You Get Girls?” Each post contains a lesson in social dynamics and persuasion that can be helpful during the attraction and seduction process. The concept that I would like to touch on today is called the “Scarcity” principle. We are all effected by the power of scarcity in the decision making process. If we sense that a product is available only for a limited time, we are naturally drawn in and we show a greater desire for that product. Scarcity plays a major roll in the demand of all products.
By understanding the scarcity principle we can leverage powerful emotions that trigger people to action. How can these lessons be applied to getting girls? In order to maximize success with women. You must create an image for yourself that communicates to your target that you have a limited time offer with a set expiration date. This will naturally increase your personal demand. Have you heard the old adage “We want what we can’t have.” We have all experienced the psychological effects of the scarcity principle. Leveraging these powerful emotions is one way to become more persuasive.
I like to draw the comparison to an ice cream truck that drives through the neighborhood on a summer afternoon. Children hear the music playing and scramble to find their parents or someone who can purchase the ice cream. The children know that they have a limited time constraint before the truck drives away. This time constraint provides the ice cream an element of scarcity that drives children to demand the product. It is not just because kids like ice cream, they are also influenced by the element of scarcity.
Attraction, Dating, Getting Girls, How Do You Get Girls, Influence, Persuasion, Pick-Up Artist, Pick-Up Science, Psychology, PUA, Relationships, Seduction, Social Barriers, Social Dynamics, Social Science, Strong Opinions, Success with Women, Venusian Science
People are always asking us “How Do You Get Girls” This is a very loaded question. So I always try to provide a small piece of advice that will help during the attraction and seduction process. If you are like most people when you feel strongly about something you want to tell the world exactly why you are right. But even when you have credentials or are knowledgeable on the topic there is a difficult social barrier to overcome. As you attempt to express your opinion to others and persuade them, you come across boastful and arrogant. This doesn’t improve your likeability and chances are they will be less inclined to follow your advice.
How does this apply to pick-up science, venusian science, and getting girls? When you’re engaged in conversation with a female and she suddenly begins says objectionable commentary. Swallow your pride and nod your head. If you try to persuade or influence her opinion she will likely take offense.
Successful pick-up artists avoid conflict and blatant objections. Instead just smile and say “Wow! that’s very interesting!” It’s not worth creating an awkward moment or damaging your perceived image.
Example: You’re at a bar or nightclub and you’re talking with a beautiful woman. She is rambling on about conservative politics and how much she loved former president George W. Bush. She is talking about how she enjoyed his eloquent oratory skills. Instead of calling her out and raising objection on the topic. Just smile nod and say “Wow! that’s very interesting!” Swallowing your pride and moving forward will earn you more points and improve your likeability.
Labeling Technique
Attraction, Behavioral Science, Dating, Getting Girls, How Do You Get Girls, Labeling Technique, Persuasion, Pick-Up Artist, Psychology, PUA, Relationships, Seduction, Social Dynamics, Social Science, Success with Women
In my constant efforts to understand the attraction and seduction process and answer the question “How Do You Get Girls?” I have been teaching my students scientifically proven methods to become more persuasive with women. The principle that I would like to focus on today is called the “Labeling Technique.”
An example of the “Labeling Technique” is found within our political system in the United States. We have a two party political system. Politicians go to great lengths to persuade voters to associate themselves with a political party. By labeling yourself a Democrat or a Republican you are more likely to vote on election day. The simple mental affirmation of a party affiliation causes people to vote.
How can the “Labeling Technique” be used to get girls? One easy way to implement the “Labeling Technique” into your game is by using a camera routine. When you are speaking to a woman at a bar or nightclub ask if you can take a picture with her. After snapping a couple of photos. Mention how beautiful she looks in the photos. Then tell her “We look good together” and smile in a confident manner. The comment provides a mental affirmation of her beauty and tells her that you make a good couple. She will begin to imagine the possibility of being with you and mentally label herself as your partner. The simple mental consideration will improve your odds of sealing the deal.
What does this research in social science teach us about attracting and seducing women? Extremely beautiful women have a large variety of men seeking their approval. It is easy to become the flavor of the week. If a woman has been hit on by 10 – 15 guys in one night it is hard for you to make a lasting impression. They say that variety is the spice of life, but too much spice can ruin the dish and spoil your efforts at making a lasting impression.
This is a difficult phenomenon to overcome. I’m not saying stop approaching women in bars and nightclubs. Bars and nightclubs are what I consider a target rich environment. I’m just raising the point that there are right and wrong times to approach women. It always helps your odds when there are fewer alternatives. Most young women want to keep all options on the table and have a difficult time committing to one single option in a bar or nightclub environment. This can make it very difficult when you’re competing with swarms off dudes.
Many students ask the question “How Do You Get Girls?” I write this blog to offer suggestions on ways to seduce and attract women effectively. Today I will discuss the concept of cognitive dissonance, specifically Postdecisional Dissonance. Pick-up artists who understand this concept of cognitive dissonance can powerfully leverage the emotions of a target.
This concept is also described as the “foot-in-the-door technique.” The methods have been used for years by many political campaigns. Politicians will solicit small commitments in order to build a sense of commitment to a political candidate. This form of cognitive dissonance follows a decision rather than precedes it.
In the mid-1960’s, Robert Knox and James Inkster performed a study of postdecisional dissonance at a horse track in Vancouver, Canada. They approached 141 horse bettors, 72 of which had just finished placing a $2.00 bet and 69 people who were just about to place a $2.00 bet in the next 30 seconds. Knox and Inkster reasoned that people who had just committed themselves to a course of action would reduce postdecisional dissonance by believing more strongly then ever that they had picked a winner.
To test their hypothesis, Knox and Inkster asked people to rate their horses chances on a 7 point scale where 1 indicated a “slight” chance of winning and 7 indicating a “excellent” chance. What they found was that people who were about to place a bet rated their horse an average of 3.48, whereas people who had placed the bet rated their horses chances a 4.81. Their hypothesis was confirmed that after placing a bet people became more confident in their decisions.
This is a powerful concept for persuasion professionals to master. As a pick-up artist, the idea is that as you lead your target down a path of seemingly meaningless commitments your target will begin to feel invested in you and therefore begin to feel more and more confident in her decision to be with you.
As your target becomes increasingly compliant with your commitment requests. You can increase the level of the commitments from simply asking a girl to meet your friends, to having a drink with you, to dancing, to going to a party with you, and so forth…
Men ask me all the time “How do you get girls?”
I generally always direct newbies in the direction of classic books.
The book The Game: By Neil Strauss changed my life and opened my eyes to the world of the pick-up artist (PUA). I had learned to approach women and create conversation long before reading the book. But, the lessons that are taught in The Game are priceless and universal. I strongly encourage my students to purchase and read the book.