Detangling remote interactions with neuroscience
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Clacey, Kirsten
Morris, Jay-Allen
In this talk we look to neuroscience to unpack unique challenges present in remote meeting interactions. Together we will look at a few research studies that can help explain what is happening in our brains when we interact with people in a digital space. With this deeper understanding, we will also share some practical ideas you, as a meeting organiser or facilitator, can use to shift your meetings in healthier directions. For many people, remote meetings feel very different to in person interactions. You might have experienced in remote meetings that people seem distracted or tense, there’s less engagement and the tone maybe feels a little colder. These conditions impact the quality of thinking within the session and as a result, the outcomes that are achieved. Why are remote meetings so difficult? And what can we do about it? In this workshop we will cover theory and share some practical ideas to overcome potential challenges which might be faced. No prior experience is needed for this talk. We will use some of our own stories to make remote working accessible to those who do not have deep experience in this area. We will explain neuroscientific concepts in a relatable way with many examples to help people navigate. This session is for anyone who cares about creating conditions for quality thinking in distributed teams.
 Thank you for joining our talk and a very warm welcome. It's fair to say that remote working has taken the world by storm in the last year. And I think all organizations are at different phases of adapting to it, right? And we've come to find that one of the most challenging aspects of remote working is the human aspects and specifically the human interaction parts. And so today we're going to use neuroscience to help us navigate some of these challenges and share some possible solutions with you. But first let's introduce ourselves. So and you can go to the next slide. So hello, my name is Kirsten and the other lady you can see on the screen is Jay. We're both based in Cape Town, South Africa and we're working at a company called IO. Some of you may know IO as the company behind Adblock Plus, but our bigger vision and mission is actually to create a sustainable and fair online ecosystem by building, monetizing and distributing ad blocking technology. So Jay and I are working as remote agile coaches and we've both been really passionate about remote facilitation for the last couple of years and we're the authors of the remote facilitators pocket guide. So we're looking forward to sharing some of our thoughts with you today and we're going to continue now. So some of you might be sitting there wondering why we are talking about meetings at an open source conference. I think when we think about open source communities, at least a lot of what we think about is the power of how organically they operate and how asynchronous they are. And so where does meetings kind of fit into that picture? And for us, we think it's important to talk about meetings because of open source organizations. And so for example, in our context, we work at a company that is open source and even though we were very remote friendly before Corona hit, we have now had to go fully remote and it's been a bit of a change for everyone. And so the importance of optimizing these meeting spaces or the way people come together online really, really for us hits home when you think about organizations. And so that's going to be our kind of target audience for today's talk. If you're working for an open source company and looking for ways to bring your people together in more effective human ways, we're hoping that you'll leave with some new ideas and maybe some inspiration. Okay. So what can you expect from this talk today? So we first going to look at the brain and just talk a little bit about how that relates to remote meetings. We also going to give a very brief introduction to facilitation. What's the importance of meeting in meetings? Where next we'll move on to our first principle, which is called creating connection. And we'll speak here about how we can connect people, connect in remote spaces. We'll not only think about the principle, but we'll also share practical methods that you can take away and use. Give you some silent time to also explore a little bit here about created formats that we've made. And then next following a similar format is our second principle, which is called flow. How can you create flow within your meetings? How does it feel like to get stuck? And then again, some practical tips that you can take away. So this is kind of what you can expect from our talk today. But first, I just wanted to find out if any of these faces feel familiar to you. You've called a meeting to solve a problem or get into a discussion for a particular topic hoping to get everyone's engagement. So you dial in a few minutes early and now you're just waiting one by one for people to join the call. Everyone starts on mute and it's starting to feel a little awkward with these faces just sitting back at you. So you say, welcome and you ask how everyone's doing, but no one replies. And all you have is the sleepy cat looking back at you or really totally bored by this whole affair. You might have the angry squirrel that's wondering why you invited them to this meeting in the first. Or you might have this shy seal staring back at you with nervous look in their eyes hoping that you don't ask them a question, hoping that they don't have to speak. And it just feels like no one wants to share anything. It's just beginning to feel super awkward. But we want to share that meetings really do matter. If you think about what an organization is built on, it's built on tons of tiny interactions and meetings are just one part of those interactions. If the quality of the meeting is low, it can impact the whole organization. It impacts not only the most time, but also the outcomes that you're there to achieve. So you have to find ways to achieve healthy meeting outcomes. Especially in these crazy times of change, it feels like remote collaboration is especially hard. And a few years ago, we could have said that remote is considered cutting edge, but it really isn't anymore. We're getting into a space where it's becoming quite the norm. So meetings matter and remote collaboration is hard. So we all probably know what it feels like to be on a remote call and see some of the benefits. What we don't often speak about is some of the challenges and how hard it can be to hold the space for effective remote meetings. One of the most important challenges of remote work is the collaboration and the human aspect of it. So we want to show you and do about it. But before we get into how the brain works, we just want to quickly touch on facilitation. And we won't be able to go into this in great detail, but we just want to share three things to think about facilitation. We see it as both a role and a skill. So the first is facilitation is about making it easy. It's about making it easy for people to collaborate and making it easy for people to reach outcomes. The second is about neutrality. So your role is not to focus on the content, but to steer the process. You're really there to help people get to great outcomes. And lastly, focusing on the quality. So focusing on the quality of the interactions and the outcomes. If you can remember just these three things, it can really help your meeting. But now we will look at the brain and see how that can affect the quality of the remote meetings. Okay, so now we are going to start talking about the brain and how a basic understanding of the brain can really strengthen both your facilitation as well as then the subsequent outcomes that your meetings will achieve. And if we think about the brain, one simplified way of understanding it is that in many ways it's just this big threat reward detection mechanism. So for those of us who joined our workshop yesterday, we shared the same image. But the image here really is that in every given situation, your brain first off is trying to do one of two things. It's trying to determine, am I safe here? Or am I possibly in danger? Because if I'm in danger, I need to make a quick decision. I need to either get to safety or I need to do something quickly. Whereas if I'm in a safe space or there's a possible reward, then I can behave in a completely different way. And what's interesting is that a lot of research has shown that the brain is much more likely to detect threat than reward. And what this simply means is that as human beings, we're much more likely to see something in a negative light than a positive light. So if you think about a practical example, if people walk past you and maybe someone looks at you at the side of their eyes, it's often the case that you will interpret that negatively. Like maybe they were judging me or maybe something was off there. And it could have been for a million reasons that they were looking at you that way. But humans are kind of primed to detect threat in a situation because that's what keeps us safe. As an evolved species, the ability to detect threat and respond quickly is what kept us safe. Being able to determine that there was some chocolate cake or whatever around the corner doesn't have any evolutionary significance. So the first thing to bear in mind is that humans are very, very likely to detect threat in a situation. And the second thing that's interesting, as you can see in the size of the arrows, is that the threat response in the brain is felt much more strongly and it lasts much longer than the positive reward states. So when people are feeling threatened, the chemicals that are released stay around for much longer, which is why if you felt stressed or you had a fright, you kind of feel that sense of anxiety for much longer than when you're in a positive state, that can change really quickly. And now if we go to the next slide, going into this in a little bit more detail, you can see two regions of the brain there. And these are really the primary regions that are activated either if you feel threatened or if you feel safe. So the prefrontal cortex is that part of the brain, which is responsible for rational, complex thinking. This is really what we want people to be able to access in meetings. We want them to be able to do this rich, high quality, creative thinking. However, the limbic system is what is activated when people feel stressed. It's that fight, flight or freeze response. And when people start to feel stressed for the smallest reasons, what happens is resources start getting diverted away from the prefrontal cortex and they start going to the place where people are going to make quick decisions. And bear in mind, this is all happening unconsciously, right? We're not sitting there going, okay, need to make quick decisions, do it. It's happening invisibly. Maybe someone says something rude in a meeting under current word and you begin to feel threatened and slowly you begin to edge slowly, not quickly, slowly towards this more threatened state. And now if we go one step further and you can click next, what's interesting here is that conditions impact cognition quality. So if we're thinking about things as facilitators, it's really important for us to bear in mind that the conditions surrounding a meeting and within a meeting are going to impact the quality of thinking that people are able to do in that meeting. And it's going to be totally unconscious for people. They're not necessarily going to be able to articulate why they feel either threatened or safe, but they are definitely going to be impacted. The quality of thinking that they're able to achieve will be impacted. And the next thing is that quality thinking is going to be essential to achieve quality outcomes. So as facilitators, we really need to keep this in mind. If we are after quality outcomes, we need to help unlock quality thinking. And to do that, we need to be paying attention to the conditions that are around us in these meetings. So that's kind of a foundation understanding of the brain as we begin to think about the kinds of thinking that we are hoping for in meetings and the kinds of states that can be present around it. We can go to the next slide now. Okay, so just going back to the agenda, we briefly covered some content about the brain. And we'll cover that a little bit more during each of the principles, during connection as well as flow. For now, we're going to move on to our first principle, which is about connection. How can we help connect people into more spaces? But first, we just like to do a little interactive questionnaire, which is which picture best matches your experience in the remote meetings. And you'll find this if you go to cd.com and either type in their code or use the QR code. So you can do this either with your phone or if you're on a laptop at the moment, you can do it there. So we just ask you one question, which picture best matches your experience in remote meetings. So I'll leave this code on the screen for a minute or so, and then I'll show you what the results look like. I also popped it in the chat if anyone would like to click on it directly. Okey dokey, so we'll have a look if there are any results. So far we have a clear winner, we'll just do it a couple of more seconds. Oh, it seems like Ron is almost winning. So not that many great experiences, oh, we have a tie, this is getting interesting. Okay. So thank you for participating. So far it looks like Sleepy is winning. Hopefully at the end of this talk we would have given you some tips about how to make it more engaging. So thank you for participating in our quiz. So we're just going to go back to our presentation. And so we just wanted to share some scenarios with you. We've seen some of these examples in remote meetings, but maybe you can share some of these yourself. It could be that you join a call and you speak a completely different home language to everyone else. And so you don't understand any of the inside jokes or you don't understand some of the context or they use words that are just way too fast for you to even grasp. That gives you a feeling of being left out and not part of the group. There may be a situation where your connection keeps stopping, but nobody seems to notice. And they just continue with the call without you and you desperately kind of connect back or even grasp what was said in the last couple of minutes while you weren't there. That also can make you feel quite late in the conversation. Or there's a situation where one or two people are dominating the call and they're speaking super fast. And they're speaking super fast dominating and you're trying to say something, but when you do say something, nobody acknowledges you. Some of these experiences might feel familiar and experience are not that uncommon in remote meetings. So now let's look at what happens. So what might be going on for people in these scenarios? And we're going to go a little bit deeper into some of the neuroscience stuff. And before we do, I wanted to ask if anyone could relate to stepping on one of these guys. So I don't have children, but I do have dogs and there are often toys scattered around. And once in a while, I step on one. And whilst it's not Lego, the shooting pain that goes through your foot and the subsequent rage that follows is maybe something that you can relate to. I think that acute feeling of being angry because you're in pain is probably relatable. And also, if we think about meetings, it's definitely not going to help us to do high quality thinking, right? So what relevance does a Lego block have to remote meetings? Now if we go to the next slide, somebody called us. I did a study, which I just really like the name of. It's called broken hearts and broken bones. And she was busy looking at what is the relationship between social pain, so feeling rejected or not part of the group, to physical pain. And to study this, the way she went about it was she hooked people up to machines and they were asked to play an online game called Cyberball. And in this game, the participant could see three dots on the screen and they were told that they were one dot and the other dot were two other participants sitting in another room. Now what they didn't know was that those other two participants were actually part of the study too. And so in the first round of the study, the three little dots passed the ball. So that little black dot is a ball and the participants happily passing and all three of the dots are passing the ball nicely to each other. Then they enter into a second round, unbeknown to the participant. And now the other two dots only are passing the ball to each other. So they are excluding the participant who is now the red dot. And what's really interesting is what happened when people started to feel excluded in something super simple, just passing a ball amongst people you've never met on screen. If you go to the next slide, you'll see what was the outcomes. So the first thing they found which was interesting is that the brain registers social pain in the same regions as physical pain. So physical pain activates the brain in two ways. The first way is this. So the application of the pain. And my shoulder is in the top part, the bottom part. Your brain needs to know where the pain is happening. And the second part is the affective part. So that's the, you can go back one bullet. So that's the part of the brain which is now understanding the emotional aspect. So this feels horrible or I'm not in a good space. We need to change the situation because I'm in pain. And what's interesting is that social pain activated the same region of the brain as physical pain. And the next one, which is even more interesting, is that that part of the brain is responsive not only to experiences of rejection, but to cues that represent social rejection. And so what that means is that the part of the brain responsible for physical pain is triggered if you feel an actual experience of rejection. So maybe a group comes up to you and says, you know what, we no longer want you to be one of our friends. That is very clear cut. It's an experience of social rejection. But that second part is that cues also can trigger it. So it doesn't have to actually be an experience of rejection. Maybe it's just something you've come to correlate. So maybe somebody on a meeting rolls their eyes when you say something. Maybe for you, you interpret that as a cue of rejection. This person feels a certain way about me. Whereas an actual fact, maybe they just got something in their eye and they're trying to get it out of their eye. But because for you, it's a cue of social rejection, the same parts of your brain that get triggered in physical pain are now likely to be triggered because you're interpreting it as social rejection. And if we go to the next slide, when we start thinking about the consequences and what this means for us, if we think back to those stories where Jay was talking either about someone maybe not being able to speak the same language and feeling a little bit left out or maybe their connections dropping and it feels like no one's actually pausing to look after them. What's interesting is that this study found that we're able to engage in poor quality thinking when we're in pain. And that kind of makes sense, right? Rationally, the Lego block example, when you're feeling pain, you're not going to be doing high quality thinking. And similarly, when people are feeling any degree of social pain, they're less likely to achieve high quality thinking. The second interesting consequence is that people in pain are more likely to engage in aggressive behaviors. And this is interesting because people are ultimately in those moments responding to protect themselves. So rather than doing the thing that would reintegrate them into the group, so if someone rolls their eyes, rather than doing the behavior which might reconnect them, for example, saying, hey, I feel like maybe you missed me there or is it okay? Can you hear me? They're more likely to do something defensive and respond in a protective way, which then can create a loop where it exacerbates the behavior because now they start checking out and then you can actually start seeing weird dynamics happening. And the third part is that over time, this can lead to maladaptive beliefs. And what that means is that the more times which you dial onto a remote meeting like this and either you have a negative experience or maybe you perceive someone in a certain way, over time that can lead to beliefs, either about meetings or individuals. And if you think about organizations, we really don't want people to be developing these kinds of beliefs either about collaboration being hard and not worth our time or about other individuals because then they're not going to be able to collaborate with those people. And so to kind of wrap this piece up before Jay goes a little deeper into the principle, if we think about the brain and this kind of narrative that the conditions around us impact the quality of our thinking, the ability to connect with people and feel socially accepted actually plays a really big role in people feeling safe enough to begin to do high quality thinking. And accidentally we often trigger the opposite response in people without even meaning to, especially remote meetings. Okay, so if we speak about nature connection, like what do we also start? If we can connect with someone, we are far more likely to be forgiving and compassionate. And people will then in turn far more likely feel safe being themselves. It can be quite incredible to see how different we behave when we understand someone, when we understand the context. So remote working can be quite challenging when it comes to creating connection and understanding. If you're in person, for example, it's almost accidental often that you create connections with other people. It can be as simple as someone wearing shoes that you have and you go, oh, I really like your shoes, I have the same pair. And you start triggering a conversation from there and forming some sort of relationship. In remote spaces though, it needs to be a lot more intentional. It requires a lot more effort. And so if meeting other people being at the peak performance and the most authentic self, how do we create the conditions that can foster these kinds of connections in meetings? What are some simple things that we can do? And so now we'll just share with you some of our practical methods that we thought about. And these are by no means like all of the ways that you can create connections. These are just some of our ideas. And so the first one is open the space and open the space in the check-in. But also paying attention to those first few moments of a meeting and how you open that meeting. So for example, if you start the meeting, getting set into the detail with a little bit of aggression or not really introducing the space, it sets a completely different tone to when you're opening the meeting with some sort of agenda or sharing how you will engage in this what people can expect. And sometimes we say open the space of the check-in because sometimes checking questions can be quite useful. And we don't mean that it has to be super frivolous or like what color are you feeling right now? It can be something super meaningful. So like how comfortable are you that we'll meet our deadline? And that kind of checking question can help bring people into the space and then also give you some data for the rest of the meeting. The six are working in smaller groups. A lot of times people try and solve problems in one big group. But it can be useful to break your group down into smaller pieces. So another name for this is Mermer Groups. It comes from when you're in a room and you break people into smaller little groups and there's this Merber going around the space. It gives people a little bit more safety in terms of speaking up and sharing the opinions. It allows everyone to have a chance to speak, which is less likely to have if you're in one big group. We know that not all tools cater to this functionality, but there are other ways you can do it by creating different calls, for example, and just preparing beforehand how people can join and join in smaller spaces. The third is just paying attention to the space. So this might not feel super practical, but observation is one of your biggest strengths in a remote call. And this can just be like noticing what's happening in the space. So you can only see this much of me, but maybe you observe someone's dropping their connection or someone is trying to speak or not able to. Maybe it's even as something simple as seeing the icon of mute and unmute on someone's screen, indicating that they're trying to speak, but they're not able to engage. Just paying attention to the space and seeing if you can notice as much as possible so you can take care of that remote meeting. And the last one is just attention to different contexts. So when you're working with lots of students, it can be super easy to forget when someone is skipping lunch because the meeting is booked in the middle of their lunch lot or someone is missing dinner with their family because it's cropping over their lunch lot. And it could even mean a challenge of different languages and not acknowledging that someone is speaking too fast or going at a completely different place for someone able to follow. So just making sure that you're bringing attention to those different contexts. And maybe it's just showing all of the variety of time zones that are on the call to acknowledge what is going on for people. Or maybe it's providing a writing mechanism to say this will be easier for us to read so that we don't have to follow the queue with verbal queues. Just providing different ways to share contexts is useful. So now we'll just give you some time for you to explore. Yeah. So we wanted to pause here and I think because this is a lecture not a workshop, the chat might be locked. So we'll share the link in the chat, but Jay is also going to slowly scroll through that deck and we'll share the slides afterwards so you can access it. But what we really wanted to do here was pause because we've shared quite a bit of content and we wanted to allow some silence for you to reflect on what's coming up as well as look at what some of these practical ideas might look like in real life. So I'm sharing it in the chat. I'm not sure if everyone can see the chat. If you can't, Jay is going to go through these slowly and we're not going to talk. We're just going to allow you some time to process or notice these things. I think people are joining so I think they can get a little bit of a call anyway. Cool. And just one quick note, we use Google Slides just because it's free. Most people can access it and there's quite a low barrier to entry. So there's lots of cool whiteboard tools out there as well, but this one's pretty easy to access for now. So thank you. The chat should be public for all users. Cool. I'm going to keep quiet now. So thanks Jay and Kirsten. A wonderful talk. If anybody has questions. Are we supposed to be finished already? I think. No, you have time left. Yes, sorry. We're halfway. We're just pausing here to allow people a chance to look at these slides. Is that okay? Okay. We will be finished at 3.30. We were aiming for an hour. Thank you. Cool. Okay, and as we look at that, we're going to transition back to the main deck, but we will share our main slide deck with you afterwards as well, and you're welcome to reuse these, and those are just some practical ways that you can nurture connection in remote spaces, which then brings us back to our agenda. Just to recap where we've been so far, so we started speaking about the brain and the kinds of conditions that we would like to activate in remote meetings so that people can do high quality thinking, and then we spent quite a bit of time thinking about connection, both what happens when we don't feel connected to people as well as how as facilitators we can help connect people. And now the last bit of our talk, we're going to speak about flow and how we can create that ease of movement through a meeting, because often remote meetings feel jerky and stuck, so what can we do about flow in remote spaces? Okay, so once again, we have some scenarios for you that we've seen happening in remote meetings, these are things that you might have also noticed. This being, which we mentioned a little bit earlier, you join and someone jumps straight into the detail, jumping straight into the content, not even taking a minute to set the tone, figure out the agenda, or set the tone for the meeting, jumping just straight in. The second we've seen is how fatiguing meetings or video calls can be. And so much of it is because we are unable to see body language, and so people kind of get tired, not sure when they can speak, constantly interrupting each other, maybe it's because of lag, maybe it's just because of connection, so that constant introduction can be quite fatiguing. And the third one is just holding so much content in your mind. So the brain can only hold so many pieces of information at one time, but sometimes when there's a reliance on verbal communication, there's so much information floating around, people can't actually hold all that information at one time. So now we'll look at the brain some more to help us unpack some of it. And to get us started, I'd like you to think about crossword puzzles. So growing up, my mom loves to do crossword puzzles, and I hated them because I could never get them. But every once in a while, I would find one of those words. And if you've ever done a crossword puzzle, you can probably relate to that little zip of energy you get when you put in the letters, and they match, and it works, and you just know you've closed a little loop. Because ultimately, solving crossword puzzles feels good, or any of those things, maybe it's more familiar to you, that aha moment. When you come to an aha, it feels good. So what is going on for people when we have these kinds of aha moments? Because if we think to those scenarios that Joe, that they just shared, those are the opposite of aha moments. Remote meetings can be frustrating because we get stuck, because people are trying to solve something. They're going off on a direction together, and they've opened this loop, and they're not getting to the point where they can close that loop. Whether it's for technical issues, or because maybe there's too much going on, and they're getting distracted, or they can't see the other people, we're trying to solve the crossword puzzle, we're trying to come to something together, and remote meetings present all these reasons that stop us from getting to the aha moment. So if we go to the next slide, there was a study done in 2018. Looking at the neural correlates of aha moments. And the way that they studied it was they hooked people up to machines, and they presented them with three words. And so you can do it for yourself now. If you look at these three words, house, bark, and apple, what participants were asked, they were asked to find the fourth word that links all three of those words. So for a moment I'll just pause. If you can think for yourself, can you find the fourth word that connects to all three of those words? Okay, well, do I feel bad if you couldn't? Because I couldn't either. But once in a while, some of them you can. So the word that connects all three of these is tree. Because word, building a house, bark, and apple, tree. And so they looked at what happened for people when at the moment that they came to that aha moment, at the moment that this loop that they had opened closed. And if you go to the next slide, you will see the consequences of what happened. So the first thing is that closing loops activates reward circuitry in the brain. And reward circuitry is the circuitry that feels good. So when you do something and you get rewarded for it, it feels good and you want to do it again. And it's kind of your brain going, hmm, that was really nice. Let's do it again. So when you solve the crossword puzzle word, your brain's going, oh, that felt good. Let's do it again. And we'll think about this a bit more in detail in meetings now. But that's kind of what you want. You want the opposite of the stuck feeling. And you want people to be feeling, hmm, this feels good. I want to keep going. That energy that'll keep propelling them forward. And the next thing that they found also, which is interesting, is not only do people feel more engaged and positive, but they're able to think more creatively. So each time they close a loop or something positive like that happens, they're able to get more creative and do better quality thinking. And so if we think back to remote meetings, this is exactly what we want when people are collaborating. We want to be unlocking better quality thinking for people, even though it's unconscious. We want to create the conditions which enable them to do this. And unfortunately, remote meetings often accidentally result in the opposite, where people aren't able to flow and get to these moments of, aha. And if we now take the next step and we connect this back to remote meetings and the concept of consequences of what's going on in the brain, I can go to the next slide. The first consequence that you might see is people begin to feel disengaged. So when people are trying to close a feedback loop, let's say you've been trying to solve the crossword puzzle, it's now been 10 minutes, you're staring at that row and you just can't get it. You begin to disengage because your brain eventually at some point says, you know what, the effort's no longer worth it. It's too tiring. You start getting the reward that I was seeking and then you start getting distracted. That's maybe when you're sitting in your remote meeting and you start scrolling Twitter. You've just gotten to the point where like, we're going on so many tangents, so many conversations are being spoken about, we're not closing any loops and you kind of just check out. Consequence number two is that you get tired because you've got this background task running and it's consuming brain CPU. So maybe you start finding that this remote meeting is just getting really tired and you're not quite sure why, but you're just feeling tired and it's because you're running so many background tasks. The thing that you started talking about didn't get resolved and then maybe someone dropped off the call and then you have to start again and it begins to create this fatigue. And the third consequence is that you may become frustrated and because this is happening unconsciously, you're not quite aware why, but you begin to become a little bit unnecessarily frustrated. So that little angry squirrel at the beginning, I've definitely seen lots of angry squirrels in remote meetings where people are just a little bit on edge or angry and it gets incorrectly associated to someone. So I may be frustrated at someone else on the call, but it's not actually them that's frustrating me. I'm frustrated because my brain's trying to close these loops in the meeting and it's unable to for all these reasons and then I just begin projecting frustration. And so to kind of wrap this up, if we think about remote meetings and all the possible things that block us from flowing through a meeting, it's very possible that people become disengaged, tired and frustrated and we see this so often. It happens all the time. So what can we do about it? Okay, so what we're speaking about here is enabling flow. The remote meetings are often punctuated with stops and detours and they can be quite frustrating as Kirsten mentioned, but it can be avoided with a little bit of planning and some guidance and some preparation beforehand. But some of those stops and punctuations could be because of connection dropping, as we mentioned, or people constantly even interrupting each other because of lag or because people have simply gotten lost in all the information that's been shared and not knowing where they are in the conversation. Some of this is caused by an absence of behavioural and that caused interruptions. Maybe the group is just struggling to think because they're tired and it's hard to notice that in a call. These are the moments that can make remote meetings feel jerky and people like you're just getting stuck and not able to get to those quality outcomes that you were hoping for. And so a facilitator skill is about judging what's helpful and unhelpful detours that we can have in a meeting and what detours can have a meaningful impact on the outcome. How can you shift and the flow of meetings to help the group arrive at those quality outcomes? And so maybe it's just thinking about off-topic conversations, for example, giving out a way to take that out of the meeting and put it in a parking lot and channel it in a different way. It's just some of the ways thinking about how you can enable flow in your meeting. And Kirsten will share some practical methods for how that's done. Okay, so as we said with the last one, these are just some of our practical methods and there's lots of other ones out there. But the first thing you can do is simply make the agenda or session rules visible. So there's a lock going on in a meeting and people, especially in a remote meeting, they're juggling the technical tool, probably also their calendars popping up. They also maybe are using a collaboration tool. And oftentimes there'll be an instruction given or something will be said and it's missed. So simply by visualizing that, you're creating like a bit of a road sign for people that will help them to navigate through. And it's one less reason for the meeting to get stuck. So if we all know how we're going to proceed in the meeting, we have a clear picture of where we're going to go and there's a visible space where we can refer back to it. It means that we're more likely to flow through the space. We know where the detours ahead are coming. The next technique is about procreating visual documentation. And this is a really big one for us because remote meetings get stuck often for simple things. Sometimes audio breaks up and then you have to repeat the instruction for them. Or as Jay mentioned, maybe people speak different languages at home and while we're all speaking English, we have slightly different comfort levels. And so maybe falling behind or not quite getting it. But if you are co-creating visual documentation, even if it's something simple like a written text document where everyone can type, there's another additional guide to help people through the meeting. So we've often seen someone will drop off on the audio and they'll come back and they can read. And they can catch up by reading. And now the whole group doesn't have to stop on their way to closing the loop. That person can reconnect. Or sometimes maybe someone's actually unable to hear, but they can still see it being typed because your video conferencing often drops off before your documentation tools do. And then the added benefit is for people struggling with the language, it's sometimes easier to read than it is to hear. And so you're bringing people together and keeping them together on this journey of closing loops in the meeting. The third one is one which Jay mentioned briefly, which is creating energy cues and making space for breaks. So quite simply one of the things which can begin to create fatigue or detour people in a meeting is they're getting tired. And so we think it's really important to take off, take frequent breaks in a meeting. So our rule of thumb is like every 45 minutes take a 15 minute break, both because remote meetings are more tiring as well as if you allow people that space to have a break, they'll come back with more energy and be able to close the loops and flow through the meeting more quickly, then kind of slogging it out as you go. And then the last one is routing participants in the present. So this is really just about at regular intervals reminding people where we are in the journey so that we don't get lost in the cyberspace of a remote meeting. Courses or remote meeting is virtual, people often can, you know, you're trying to hold so many things, that picture that Jay showed of the guy with all the charts up, we're all trying to remember so many things that are going on. And if you can just remind people, this is what we've just covered, this is what we're doing now and this is where we're going. It creates that sense of flow and it helps remove some of the barriers and helps people to then close feedback loops and get to that kind of nice positive state that we're really wanting so that we can keep thinking in a high quality way. And what we're going to do now is we're going to do the same thing we did just now, where we're going to share what some of these practical ideas look like in silence and we're going to pause in silence to allow you the space just to think about it for yourself because we've been doing a lot of talking. So Jay is going to share the deck in the chat and she'll also be showing it on her screen and just for a couple of minutes we're going to keep quiet and allow you the space to look through it and after that we will then wrap up. Okay, I think that brings us to the last one there. Thank you. So once again you're welcome to use any of those and that's just some ideas that maybe you can start playing with to bring a little bit more flow into your sessions. And what we're going to do now is we're going to just do a quick recap and wrap up. So our intention today was to detangle some of the complexities of remote interactions using neuroscience. So giving facilitators a little bit of a deeper understanding of what's happening for people at quite an unconscious level so that they can create conditions that are helpful. And so we spoke about the brain and threat and reward as well as what a facilitator can be thinking about creating electricity and focusing on the process. And then we spoke about connection and the importance of people feeling safe and connected because otherwise people can experience social pain which actually registers in a way as physical pain. And we just spoke now about flow and creative connect ideas and we come to solutions and how frustrating it feels when we're unable to do so, for whatever reason it is. And how you as a facilitator if you can do small things that help people to flow through a meeting you can really improve the quality of that space. And that pretty much is a wrap. So we have I think a few minutes left if there are any questions but all that's left for us is to say thank you and our resources, the studies we referenced are on the last slide so if you would like to check any of them out. But thank you so much for your time and yeah, any questions? Yeah, so thank you a second time. Everyone who wants to make a question come into the BBB room just below the stream and I will make your microphones open. Thanks. And Jay's just shared the slides in the chat also if you would like access to them. Thank you for the feedback that's coming through. Any questions? Okay. You can always reach us on social media if you have questions or want to explore things further. We are open to discussing things offline as well. I don't see any questions out there. The slides can also be found in our plan later on. Oh, I see one coming through. Do you have any suggestions on how to reduce meeting durations? I have a few that came to mind and then Jay maybe you do too. Think using asynchronous ways and the build up up to the meeting so if there's parts of the discussion that you can have via text before the meeting that can really help. So I've heard meetings criticized often for only capturing people's first reactions rather than the deeper thinking. So if it's a session or you need to evaluate lots of options often what we do is create whether you use Confluence or Google Docs and invite people to add comments to each other's thoughts there and get some of that initial thinking out so that when you get to the meeting all you have to do is talk through the comments or whatever. One way. Another way is I find also to allow silent time within a meeting. So whether it's time for people to read or write in silence means you can have 10 threads going on rather than one linear thread of conversation. So people are able to get out what they need to say in silence at the same time and then you can discuss it. So those are two. I don't know Jay if there's anything else that came to mind. I would just echo the asynchronous part. I recently then like an interactive meeting but I asked participants to fill out a sheet beforehand so they were able to gauge and read each other's answers before coming into the meeting and then we just had a quick 30 minute discussion about what we saw. So definitely one of the good options of reducing meeting time. The other thing that also came to mind for me there is remote meetings also tend to take a lot longer than in person in that because of the technical issues or you just need to go a little bit slower. So also find it's better to actually just take on less in the meeting rather than trying to do everything. Just take a small piece of the problem and solve that and then you can take the rest of line or have another meeting but a short one as well. So rather a few short ones spread out than long chunky ones where it begins to become unproductive anyway. I hope that helps. Okay. I believe one thing people miss in a remote meeting or in a remote workspace is more of one-on-one talks with their colleagues. There must be some time allotted for that. Just like what a cool canteen kind of talking. Yes. Absolutely agreed. I've seen lots of teams solve that in different ways. I think it's a nice challenge to team because it's kind of something they can come up with. Some things that I owe that we do is we have random coffee chat slots where you can just dial in and you get paired with someone randomly for a very short time box so it doesn't get awkward. Just five minutes and the room has some questions in it already, some conversation starters if you'd like. But there's also you need lots of ways. So we also have like a gaming channel where someone can suggest if they want to play an online game because there's a lot of, I don't know if you played foosball or ping pong in the office, that casual way that you come around a table together, you miss in a remote space as well. But there's quite a few fun real-time games you can play online which are super simple too and offer that to your teams as a casual way to connect. So I definitely agree that you need that space. Those are two possible ways, Jay and the others. So one thing that my team came up with is they just schedule social time in the afternoon. So it's basically just a suggestion that came from the team and it's basically not a force thing so anyone who wants to join from the team can join and it's just a casual conversation. There's no, because the team is quite close and they're smallish, it's easier to just converse about random topics than it would be when people don't know each other. So definitely depends on context team and what they come up with for sure. I see what is your preferred online game, I love board games and I've spent a lot of time investigating the equivalent online. So the ones I can recommend if you're looking for very quick games that are like ping pong, so simple with a low barrier to entry and you obviously need to be able to create a private room. Hacksball is a really nice one. We're going to be writing a blog soon because we've got a list of these. Hacksball is really nice. Tether I.O. is like a real time Tetris where you compete with each other. There's Tag Pro which is a capture the flag mechanic. Curve Fever which is where you make little like snakes. So those are the simple ones. If you're looking for a more complex game, I really like the Jackbox games on Steam. They're really fun and there's a lot of cool ones on the Jackbox party packs. If you're into more complex games, Dominion which is a card game has a free card game platform and that's also quite a nice one. There's lots others but those are my favorite. J. Hi, may I pose a question? Yes. In university business we are used to set meetings for let's say 9 o'clock in the morning and to start really at quarter past nine. This is the CT Comtemporal which is quite common at universities. Would that be an idea for an online meeting as well just to leave the people 15 minutes for social interaction? Yes, I think that would be awesome. In fact, if you're working with agile teams, I've seen a lot of teams, the typical rule of a stand-up is that it's short, it's time boxed to 15 minutes. We come in, we say our three things but in remote spaces I think allowing those to go on a bit longer and allow people time to chat is really important. So I think that's actually really nice to start a meeting intentionally with that in mind. Plus one from me. It's just something you can agree with as a team as well. We didn't talk speak about it. What we spoke speak about is agreeing on your session rules or your meeting agreements and that often you pull from the people in the meeting and not necessarily from you. And so if it's a regular meeting with the same people, you can come up with that kind of agreement. So you set that expectation for everybody in the meeting. So for 15 minutes it's just about hanging back. So at least Ibran's away. Cool. I think we're probably on the hour now or at least at the end of our slot and there's possibly other things happening. So I'll hand over to the room admin now to close or do whatever is necessary. Yeah, so thank you again. I think we'll close down and see you in the next talk. Thank you. Bye everyone.
 Thank you for joining our talk and a very warm welcome.  It's fair to say that remote working has taken the world by storm in the last year.  And I think all organizations are at different phases of adapting to it, right?  And we've come to find that one of the most challenging aspects of remote working is the  human aspects and specifically the human interaction parts.  And so today we're going to use neuroscience to help us navigate some of these challenges  and share some possible solutions with you.  But first let's introduce ourselves.  So and you can go to the next slide.  So hello, my name is Kirsten and the other lady you can see on the screen is Jay.  We're both based in Cape Town, South Africa and we're working at a company called IO.  Some of you may know IO as the company behind Adblock Plus, but our bigger vision and mission  is actually to create a sustainable and fair online ecosystem by building, monetizing and  distributing ad blocking technology.  So Jay and I are working as remote agile coaches and we've both been really passionate about  remote facilitation for the last couple of years and we're the authors of the remote  facilitators pocket guide.  So we're looking forward to sharing some of our thoughts with you today and we're going  to continue now.  So some of you might be sitting there wondering why we are talking about meetings at an open  source conference.  I think when we think about open source communities, at least a lot of what we think about is the  power of how organically they operate and how asynchronous they are.  And so where does meetings kind of fit into that picture?  And for us, we think it's important to talk about meetings because of open source organizations.  And so for example, in our context, we work at a company that is open source and even  though we were very remote friendly before Corona hit, we have now had to go fully remote  and it's been a bit of a change for everyone.  And so the importance of optimizing these meeting spaces or the way people come together  online really, really for us hits home when you think about organizations.  And so that's going to be our kind of target audience for today's talk.  If you're working for an open source company and looking for ways to bring your people  together in more effective human ways, we're hoping that you'll leave with some new ideas  and maybe some inspiration.  Okay.  So what can you expect from this talk today?  So we first going to look at the brain and just talk a little bit about how that relates  to remote meetings.  We also going to give a very brief introduction to facilitation.  What's the importance of meeting in meetings?  Where next we'll move on to our first principle, which is called creating connection.  And we'll speak here about how we can connect people, connect in remote spaces.  We'll not only think about the principle, but we'll also share practical methods that  you can take away and use.  Give you some silent time to also explore a little bit here about created formats that  we've made.  And then next following a similar format is our second principle, which is called flow.  How can you create flow within your meetings?  How does it feel like to get stuck?  And then again, some practical tips that you can take away.  So this is kind of what you can expect from our talk today.  But first, I just wanted to find out if any of these faces feel familiar to you.  You've called a meeting to solve a problem or get into a discussion for a particular  topic hoping to get everyone's engagement.  So you dial in a few minutes early and now you're just waiting one by one for people  to join the call.  Everyone starts on mute and it's starting to feel a little awkward with these faces just  sitting back at you.  So you say, welcome and you ask how everyone's doing, but no one replies.  And all you have is the sleepy cat looking back at you or really totally bored by this  whole affair.  You might have the angry squirrel that's wondering why you invited them to this meeting in the  first.  Or you might have this shy seal staring back at you with nervous look in their eyes hoping  that you don't ask them a question, hoping that they don't have to speak.  And it just feels like no one wants to share anything.  It's just beginning to feel super awkward.  But we want to share that meetings really do matter.  If you think about what an organization is built on, it's built on tons of tiny interactions  and meetings are just one part of those interactions.  If the quality of the meeting is low, it can impact the whole organization.  It impacts not only the most time, but also the outcomes that you're there to achieve.  So you have to find ways to achieve healthy meeting outcomes.  Especially in these crazy times of change, it feels like remote collaboration is especially  hard.  And a few years ago, we could have said that remote is considered cutting edge, but it  really isn't anymore.  We're getting into a space where it's becoming quite the norm.  So meetings matter and remote collaboration is hard.  So we all probably know what it feels like to be on a remote call and see some of the  benefits.  What we don't often speak about is some of the challenges and how hard it can be to hold  the space for effective remote meetings.  One of the most important challenges of remote work is the collaboration and the human aspect  of it.  So we want to show you and do about it.  But before we get into how the brain works, we just want to quickly touch on facilitation.  And we won't be able to go into this in great detail, but we just want to share three things  to think about facilitation.  We see it as both a role and a skill.  So the first is facilitation is about making it easy.  It's about making it easy for people to collaborate and making it easy for people to reach outcomes.  The second is about neutrality.  So your role is not to focus on the content, but to steer the process.  You're really there to help people get to great outcomes.  And lastly, focusing on the quality.  So focusing on the quality of the interactions and the outcomes.  If you can remember just these three things, it can really help your meeting.  But now we will look at the brain and see how that can affect the quality of the remote  meetings.  Okay, so now we are going to start talking about the brain and how a basic understanding  of the brain can really strengthen both your facilitation as well as then the subsequent  outcomes that your meetings will achieve.  And if we think about the brain, one simplified way of understanding it is that in many ways  it's just this big threat reward detection mechanism.  So for those of us who joined our workshop yesterday, we shared the same image.  But the image here really is that in every given situation, your brain first off is trying  to do one of two things.  It's trying to determine, am I safe here?  Or am I possibly in danger?  Because if I'm in danger, I need to make a quick decision.  I need to either get to safety or I need to do something quickly.  Whereas if I'm in a safe space or there's a possible reward, then I can behave in a completely  different way.  And what's interesting is that a lot of research has shown that the brain is much more likely  to detect threat than reward.  And what this simply means is that as human beings, we're much more likely to see something  in a negative light than a positive light.  So if you think about a practical example, if people walk past you and maybe someone  looks at you at the side of their eyes, it's often the case that you will interpret that  negatively.  Like maybe they were judging me or maybe something was off there.  And it could have been for a million reasons that they were looking at you that way.  But humans are kind of primed to detect threat in a situation because that's what keeps us  safe.  As an evolved species, the ability to detect threat and respond quickly is what kept us  safe.  Being able to determine that there was some chocolate cake or whatever around the corner  doesn't have any evolutionary significance.  So the first thing to bear in mind is that humans are very, very likely to detect threat  in a situation.  And the second thing that's interesting, as you can see in the size of the arrows, is  that the threat response in the brain is felt much more strongly and it lasts much longer  than the positive reward states.  So when people are feeling threatened, the chemicals that are released stay around for  much longer, which is why if you felt stressed or you had a fright, you kind of feel that  sense of anxiety for much longer than when you're in a positive state, that can change  really quickly.  And now if we go to the next slide, going into this in a little bit more detail, you  can see two regions of the brain there.  And these are really the primary regions that are activated either if you feel threatened  or if you feel safe.  So the prefrontal cortex is that part of the brain, which is responsible for rational,  complex thinking.  This is really what we want people to be able to access in meetings.  We want them to be able to do this rich, high quality, creative thinking.  However, the limbic system is what is activated when people feel stressed.  It's that fight, flight or freeze response.  And when people start to feel stressed for the smallest reasons, what happens is resources  start getting diverted away from the prefrontal cortex and they start going to the place where  people are going to make quick decisions.  And bear in mind, this is all happening unconsciously, right?  We're not sitting there going, okay, need to make quick decisions, do it.  It's happening invisibly.  Maybe someone says something rude in a meeting under current word and you begin to feel threatened  and slowly you begin to edge slowly, not quickly, slowly towards this more threatened state.  And now if we go one step further and you can click next, what's interesting here is  that conditions impact cognition quality.  So if we're thinking about things as facilitators, it's really important for us to bear in mind  that the conditions surrounding a meeting and within a meeting are going to impact the  quality of thinking that people are able to do in that meeting.  And it's going to be totally unconscious for people.  They're not necessarily going to be able to articulate why they feel either threatened  or safe, but they are definitely going to be impacted.  The quality of thinking that they're able to achieve will be impacted.  And the next thing is that quality thinking is going to be essential to achieve quality  outcomes.  So as facilitators, we really need to keep this in mind.  If we are after quality outcomes, we need to help unlock quality thinking.  And to do that, we need to be paying attention to the conditions that are around us in these  meetings.  So that's kind of a foundation understanding of the brain as we begin to think about the  kinds of thinking that we are hoping for in meetings and the kinds of states that can  be present around it.  We can go to the next slide now.  Okay, so just going back to the agenda, we briefly covered some content about the brain.  And we'll cover that a little bit more during each of the principles, during connection  as well as flow.  For now, we're going to move on to our first principle, which is about connection.  How can we help connect people into more spaces?  But first, we just like to do a little interactive questionnaire, which is which picture best  matches your experience in the remote meetings.  And you'll find this if you go to cd.com and either type in their code or use the QR code.  So you can do this either with your phone or if you're on a laptop at the moment, you  can do it there.  So we just ask you one question, which picture best matches your experience in remote meetings.  So I'll leave this code on the screen for a minute or so, and then I'll show you what  the results look like.  I also popped it in the chat if anyone would like to click on it directly.  Okey dokey, so we'll have a look if there are any results.  So far we have a clear winner, we'll just do it a couple of more seconds.  Oh, it seems like Ron is almost winning.  So not that many great experiences, oh, we have a tie, this is getting interesting.  Okay.  So thank you for participating.  So far it looks like Sleepy is winning.  Hopefully at the end of this talk we would have given you some tips about how to make  it more engaging.  So thank you for participating in our quiz.  So we're just going to go back to our presentation.  And so we just wanted to share some scenarios with you.  We've seen some of these examples in remote meetings, but maybe you can share some of these  yourself.  It could be that you join a call and you speak a completely different home language to everyone  else.  And so you don't understand any of the inside jokes or you don't understand some of the  context or they use words that are just way too fast for you to even grasp.  That gives you a feeling of being left out and not part of the group.  There may be a situation where your connection keeps stopping, but nobody seems to notice.  And they just continue with the call without you and you desperately kind of connect back  or even grasp what was said in the last couple of minutes while you weren't there.  That also can make you feel quite late in the conversation.  Or there's a situation where one or two people are dominating the call and they're speaking  super fast.  And they're speaking super fast dominating and you're trying to say something, but when  you do say something, nobody acknowledges you.  Some of these experiences might feel familiar and experience are not that uncommon in remote  meetings.  So now let's look at what happens.  So what might be going on for people in these scenarios?  And we're going to go a little bit deeper into some of the neuroscience stuff.  And before we do, I wanted to ask if anyone could relate to stepping on one of these guys.  So I don't have children, but I do have dogs and there are often toys scattered around.  And once in a while, I step on one.  And whilst it's not Lego, the shooting pain that goes through your foot and the subsequent  rage that follows is maybe something that you can relate to.  I think that acute feeling of being angry because you're in pain is probably relatable.  And also, if we think about meetings, it's definitely not going to help us to do high  quality thinking, right?  So what relevance does a Lego block have to remote meetings?  Now if we go to the next slide, somebody called us.  I did a study, which I just really like the name of.  It's called broken hearts and broken bones.  And she was busy looking at what is the relationship between social pain, so feeling rejected or  not part of the group, to physical pain.  And to study this, the way she went about it was she hooked people up to machines and  they were asked to play an online game called Cyberball.  And in this game, the participant could see three dots on the screen and they were told  that they were one dot and the other dot were two other participants sitting in another  room.  Now what they didn't know was that those other two participants were actually part of the  study too.  And so in the first round of the study, the three little dots passed the ball.  So that little black dot is a ball and the participants happily passing and all three  of the dots are passing the ball nicely to each other.  Then they enter into a second round, unbeknown to the participant.  And now the other two dots only are passing the ball to each other.  So they are excluding the participant who is now the red dot.  And what's really interesting is what happened when people started to feel excluded in something  super simple, just passing a ball amongst people you've never met on screen.  If you go to the next slide, you'll see what was the outcomes.  So the first thing they found which was interesting is that the brain registers social pain in  the same regions as physical pain.  So physical pain activates the brain in two ways.  The first way is this.  So the application of the pain.  And my shoulder is in the top part, the bottom part.  Your brain needs to know where the pain is happening.  And the second part is the affective part.  So that's the, you can go back one bullet.  So that's the part of the brain which is now understanding the emotional aspect.  So this feels horrible or I'm not in a good space.  We need to change the situation because I'm in pain.  And what's interesting is that social pain activated the same region of the brain as physical pain.  And the next one, which is even more interesting, is that that part of the brain is responsive  not only to experiences of rejection, but to cues that represent social rejection.  And so what that means is that the part of the brain responsible for physical pain is  triggered if you feel an actual experience of rejection.  So maybe a group comes up to you and says, you know what, we no longer want you to be  one of our friends.  That is very clear cut.  It's an experience of social rejection.  But that second part is that cues also can trigger it.  So it doesn't have to actually be an experience of rejection.  Maybe it's just something you've come to correlate.  So maybe somebody on a meeting rolls their eyes when you say something.  Maybe for you, you interpret that as a cue of rejection.  This person feels a certain way about me.  Whereas an actual fact, maybe they just got something in their eye and they're trying  to get it out of their eye.  But because for you, it's a cue of social rejection, the same parts of your brain that  get triggered in physical pain are now likely to be triggered because you're interpreting  it as social rejection.  And if we go to the next slide, when we start thinking about the consequences and what this  means for us, if we think back to those stories where Jay was talking either about someone  maybe not being able to speak the same language and feeling a little bit left out or maybe  their connections dropping and it feels like no one's actually pausing to look after them.  What's interesting is that this study found that we're able to engage in poor quality  thinking when we're in pain.  And that kind of makes sense, right?  Rationally, the Lego block example, when you're feeling pain, you're not going to be doing  high quality thinking.  And similarly, when people are feeling any degree of social pain, they're less likely  to achieve high quality thinking.  The second interesting consequence is that people in pain are more likely to engage in  aggressive behaviors.  And this is interesting because people are ultimately in those moments responding to  protect themselves.  So rather than doing the thing that would reintegrate them into the group, so if someone  rolls their eyes, rather than doing the behavior which might reconnect them, for example, saying,  hey, I feel like maybe you missed me there or is it okay?  Can you hear me?  They're more likely to do something defensive and respond in a protective way, which then  can create a loop where it exacerbates the behavior because now they start checking out  and then you can actually start seeing weird dynamics happening.  And the third part is that over time, this can lead to maladaptive beliefs.  And what that means is that the more times which you dial onto a remote meeting like  this and either you have a negative experience or maybe you perceive someone in a certain  way, over time that can lead to beliefs, either about meetings or individuals.  And if you think about organizations, we really don't want people to be developing these kinds  of beliefs either about collaboration being hard and not worth our time or about other  individuals because then they're not going to be able to collaborate with those people.  And so to kind of wrap this piece up before Jay goes a little deeper into the principle,  if we think about the brain and this kind of narrative that the conditions around us  impact the quality of our thinking, the ability to connect with people and feel socially accepted  actually plays a really big role in people feeling safe enough to begin to do high quality  thinking.  And accidentally we often trigger the opposite response in people without even meaning to,  especially remote meetings.  Okay, so if we speak about nature connection, like what do we also start?  If we can connect with someone, we are far more likely to be forgiving and compassionate.  And people will then in turn far more likely feel safe being themselves.  It can be quite incredible to see how different we behave when we understand someone, when  we understand the context.  So remote working can be quite challenging when it comes to creating connection and understanding.  If you're in person, for example, it's almost accidental often that you create connections  with other people.  It can be as simple as someone wearing shoes that you have and you go, oh, I really like  your shoes, I have the same pair.  And you start triggering a conversation from there and forming some sort of relationship.  In remote spaces though, it needs to be a lot more intentional.  It requires a lot more effort.  And so if meeting other people being at the peak performance and the most authentic self,  how do we create the conditions that can foster these kinds of connections in meetings?  What are some simple things that we can do?  And so now we'll just share with you some of our practical methods that we thought about.  And these are by no means like all of the ways that you can create connections.  These are just some of our ideas.  And so the first one is open the space and open the space in the check-in.  But also paying attention to those first few moments of a meeting and how you open that  meeting.  So for example, if you start the meeting, getting set into the detail with a little bit of aggression  or not really introducing the space, it sets a completely different tone to when you're  opening the meeting with some sort of agenda or sharing how you will engage in this what  people can expect.  And sometimes we say open the space of the check-in because sometimes checking questions  can be quite useful.  And we don't mean that it has to be super frivolous or like what color are you feeling right now?  It can be something super meaningful.  So like how comfortable are you that we'll meet our deadline?  And that kind of checking question can help bring people into the space and then also give  you some data for the rest of the meeting.  The six are working in smaller groups.  A lot of times people try and solve problems in one big group.  But it can be useful to break your group down into smaller pieces.  So another name for this is Mermer Groups.  It comes from when you're in a room and you break people into smaller little groups and  there's this Merber going around the space.  It gives people a little bit more safety in terms of speaking up and sharing the opinions.  It allows everyone to have a chance to speak, which is less likely to have if you're in  one big group.  We know that not all tools cater to this functionality, but there are other ways you  can do it by creating different calls, for example, and just preparing beforehand how  people can join and join in smaller spaces.  The third is just paying attention to the space.  So this might not feel super practical, but observation is one of your biggest strengths  in a remote call.  And this can just be like noticing what's happening in the space.  So you can only see this much of me, but maybe you observe someone's dropping their connection  or someone is trying to speak or not able to.  Maybe it's even as something simple as seeing the icon of mute and unmute on someone's screen,  indicating that they're trying to speak, but they're not able to engage.  Just paying attention to the space and seeing if you can notice as much as possible so you  can take care of that remote meeting.  And the last one is just attention to different contexts.  So when you're working with lots of students, it can be super easy to forget when someone  is skipping lunch because the meeting is booked in the middle of their lunch lot or someone  is missing dinner with their family because it's cropping over their lunch lot.  And it could even mean a challenge of different languages and not acknowledging that someone  is speaking too fast or going at a completely different place for someone able to follow.  So just making sure that you're bringing attention to those different contexts.  And maybe it's just showing all of the variety of time zones that are on the call to acknowledge  what is going on for people.  Or maybe it's providing a writing mechanism to say this will be easier for us to read  so that we don't have to follow the queue with verbal queues.  Just providing different ways to share contexts is useful.  So now we'll just give you some time for you to explore.  Yeah.  So we wanted to pause here and I think because this is a lecture not a workshop, the chat  might be locked.  So we'll share the link in the chat, but Jay is also going to slowly scroll through that  deck and we'll share the slides afterwards so you can access it.  But what we really wanted to do here was pause because we've shared quite a bit of content  and we wanted to allow some silence for you to reflect on what's coming up as well as  look at what some of these practical ideas might look like in real life.  So I'm sharing it in the chat.  I'm not sure if everyone can see the chat.  If you can't, Jay is going to go through these slowly and we're not going to talk.  We're just going to allow you some time to process or notice these things.  I think people are joining so I think they can get a little bit of a call anyway.  Cool.  And just one quick note, we use Google Slides just because it's free.  Most people can access it and there's quite a low barrier to entry.  So there's lots of cool whiteboard tools out there as well, but this one's pretty easy  to access for now.  So thank you.  The chat should be public for all users.  Cool.  I'm going to keep quiet now.  So thanks Jay and Kirsten.  A wonderful talk.  If anybody has questions.  Are we supposed to be finished already?  I think.  No, you have time left.  Yes, sorry.  We're halfway.  We're just pausing here to allow people a chance to look at these slides.  Is that okay?  Okay.  We will be finished at 3.30.  We were aiming for an hour.  Thank you.  Cool.  Okay, and as we look at that, we're going to transition back to the main deck, but we  will share our main slide deck with you afterwards as well, and you're welcome to reuse these,  and those are just some practical ways that you can nurture connection in remote spaces,  which then brings us back to our agenda.  Just to recap where we've been so far, so we started speaking about the brain and the  kinds of conditions that we would like to activate in remote meetings so that people  can do high quality thinking, and then we spent quite a bit of time thinking about connection,  both what happens when we don't feel connected to people as well as how as facilitators we  can help connect people.  And now the last bit of our talk, we're going to speak about flow and how we can create  that ease of movement through a meeting, because often remote meetings feel jerky and stuck,  so what can we do about flow in remote spaces?  Okay, so once again, we have some scenarios for you that we've seen happening in remote  meetings, these are things that you might have also noticed.  This being, which we mentioned a little bit earlier, you join and someone jumps straight  into the detail, jumping straight into the content, not even taking a minute to set  the tone, figure out the agenda, or set the tone for the meeting, jumping just straight  in.  The second we've seen is how fatiguing meetings or video calls can be.  And so much of it is because we are unable to see body language, and so people kind  of get tired, not sure when they can speak, constantly interrupting each other, maybe  it's because of lag, maybe it's just because of connection, so that constant introduction  can be quite fatiguing.  And the third one is just holding so much content in your mind.  So the brain can only hold so many pieces of information at one time, but sometimes when  there's a reliance on verbal communication, there's so much information floating around,  people can't actually hold all that information at one time.  So now we'll look at the brain some more to help us unpack some of it.  And to get us started, I'd like you to think about crossword puzzles.  So growing up, my mom loves to do crossword puzzles, and I hated them because I could  never get them.  But every once in a while, I would find one of those words.  And if you've ever done a crossword puzzle, you can probably relate to that little zip  of energy you get when you put in the letters, and they match, and it works, and you just  know you've closed a little loop.  Because ultimately, solving crossword puzzles feels good, or any of those things, maybe  it's more familiar to you, that aha moment.  When you come to an aha, it feels good.  So what is going on for people when we have these kinds of aha moments?  Because if we think to those scenarios that Joe, that they just shared, those are the  opposite of aha moments.  Remote meetings can be frustrating because we get stuck, because people are trying to  solve something.  They're going off on a direction together, and they've opened this loop, and they're  not getting to the point where they can close that loop.  Whether it's for technical issues, or because maybe there's too much going on, and they're  getting distracted, or they can't see the other people, we're trying to solve the crossword  puzzle, we're trying to come to something together, and remote meetings present all these  reasons that stop us from getting to the aha moment.  So if we go to the next slide, there was a study done in 2018.  Looking at the neural correlates of aha moments.  And the way that they studied it was they hooked people up to machines, and they presented  them with three words.  And so you can do it for yourself now.  If you look at these three words, house, bark, and apple, what participants were asked, they  were asked to find the fourth word that links all three of those words.  So for a moment I'll just pause.  If you can think for yourself, can you find the fourth word that connects to all three  of those words?  Okay, well, do I feel bad if you couldn't?  Because I couldn't either.  But once in a while, some of them you can.  So the word that connects all three of these is tree.  Because word, building a house, bark, and apple, tree.  And so they looked at what happened for people when at the moment that they came to that  aha moment, at the moment that this loop that they had opened closed.  And if you go to the next slide, you will see the consequences of what happened.  So the first thing is that closing loops activates reward circuitry in the brain.  And reward circuitry is the circuitry that feels good.  So when you do something and you get rewarded for it, it feels good and you want to do it  again.  And it's kind of your brain going, hmm, that was really nice.  Let's do it again.  So when you solve the crossword puzzle word, your brain's going, oh, that felt good.  Let's do it again.  And we'll think about this a bit more in detail in meetings now.  But that's kind of what you want.  You want the opposite of the stuck feeling.  And you want people to be feeling, hmm, this feels good.  I want to keep going.  That energy that'll keep propelling them forward.  And the next thing that they found also, which is interesting, is not only do people feel  more engaged and positive, but they're able to think more creatively.  So each time they close a loop or something positive like that happens, they're able to  get more creative and do better quality thinking.  And so if we think back to remote meetings, this is exactly what we want when people are  collaborating.  We want to be unlocking better quality thinking for people, even though it's unconscious.  We want to create the conditions which enable them to do this.  And unfortunately, remote meetings often accidentally result in the opposite, where people aren't  able to flow and get to these moments of, aha.  And if we now take the next step and we connect this back to remote meetings and the concept  of consequences of what's going on in the brain, I can go to the next slide.  The first consequence that you might see is people begin to feel disengaged.  So when people are trying to close a feedback loop, let's say you've been trying to solve  the crossword puzzle, it's now been 10 minutes, you're staring at that row and you just can't  get it.  You begin to disengage because your brain eventually at some point says, you know what,  the effort's no longer worth it.  It's too tiring.  You start getting the reward that I was seeking and then you start getting distracted.  That's maybe when you're sitting in your remote meeting and you start scrolling Twitter.  You've just gotten to the point where like, we're going on so many tangents, so many conversations  are being spoken about, we're not closing any loops and you kind of just check out.  Consequence number two is that you get tired because you've got this background task running  and it's consuming brain CPU.  So maybe you start finding that this remote meeting is just getting really tired and you're  not quite sure why, but you're just feeling tired and it's because you're running so many  background tasks.  The thing that you started talking about didn't get resolved and then maybe someone dropped  off the call and then you have to start again and it begins to create this fatigue.  And the third consequence is that you may become frustrated and because this is happening  unconsciously, you're not quite aware why, but you begin to become a little bit unnecessarily  frustrated.  So that little angry squirrel at the beginning, I've definitely seen lots of angry squirrels  in remote meetings where people are just a little bit on edge or angry and it gets incorrectly  associated to someone.  So I may be frustrated at someone else on the call, but it's not actually them that's  frustrating me.  I'm frustrated because my brain's trying to close these loops in the meeting and it's  unable to for all these reasons and then I just begin projecting frustration.  And so to kind of wrap this up, if we think about remote meetings and all the possible  things that block us from flowing through a meeting, it's very possible that people  become disengaged, tired and frustrated and we see this so often.  It happens all the time.  So what can we do about it?  Okay, so what we're speaking about here is enabling flow.  The remote meetings are often punctuated with stops and detours and they can be quite frustrating  as Kirsten mentioned, but it can be avoided with a little bit of planning and some guidance  and some preparation beforehand.  But some of those stops and punctuations could be because of connection dropping, as we mentioned,  or people constantly even interrupting each other because of lag or because people have  simply gotten lost in all the information that's been shared and not knowing where they are  in the conversation.  Some of this is caused by an absence of behavioural and that caused interruptions.  Maybe the group is just struggling to think because they're tired and it's hard to notice  that in a call.  These are the moments that can make remote meetings feel jerky and people like you're  just getting stuck and not able to get to those quality outcomes that you were hoping  for.  And so a facilitator skill is about judging what's helpful and unhelpful detours that  we can have in a meeting and what detours can have a meaningful impact on the outcome.  How can you shift and the flow of meetings to help the group arrive at those quality  outcomes?  And so maybe it's just thinking about off-topic conversations, for example, giving out a way  to take that out of the meeting and put it in a parking lot and channel it in a different  way.  It's just some of the ways thinking about how you can enable flow in your meeting.  And Kirsten will share some practical methods for how that's done.  Okay, so as we said with the last one, these are just some of our practical methods and  there's lots of other ones out there.  But the first thing you can do is simply make the agenda or session rules visible.  So there's a lock going on in a meeting and people, especially in a remote meeting, they're  juggling the technical tool, probably also their calendars popping up.  They also maybe are using a collaboration tool.  And oftentimes there'll be an instruction given or something will be said and it's missed.  So simply by visualizing that, you're creating like a bit of a road sign for people that  will help them to navigate through.  And it's one less reason for the meeting to get stuck.  So if we all know how we're going to proceed in the meeting, we have a clear picture of  where we're going to go and there's a visible space where we can refer back to it.  It means that we're more likely to flow through the space.  We know where the detours ahead are coming.  The next technique is about procreating visual documentation.  And this is a really big one for us because remote meetings get stuck often for simple  things.  Sometimes audio breaks up and then you have to repeat the instruction for them.  Or as Jay mentioned, maybe people speak different languages at home and while we're all speaking  English, we have slightly different comfort levels.  And so maybe falling behind or not quite getting it.  But if you are co-creating visual documentation, even if it's something simple like a written  text document where everyone can type, there's another additional guide to help people through  the meeting.  So we've often seen someone will drop off on the audio and they'll come back and they  can read.  And they can catch up by reading.  And now the whole group doesn't have to stop on their way to closing the loop.  That person can reconnect.  Or sometimes maybe someone's actually unable to hear, but they can still see it being typed  because your video conferencing often drops off before your documentation tools do.  And then the added benefit is for people struggling with the language, it's sometimes easier to  read than it is to hear.  And so you're bringing people together and keeping them together on this journey of closing  loops in the meeting.  The third one is one which Jay mentioned briefly, which is creating energy cues and making space  for breaks.  So quite simply one of the things which can begin to create fatigue or detour people in  a meeting is they're getting tired.  And so we think it's really important to take off, take frequent breaks in a meeting.  So our rule of thumb is like every 45 minutes take a 15 minute break, both because remote  meetings are more tiring as well as if you allow people that space to have a break, they'll  come back with more energy and be able to close the loops and flow through the meeting  more quickly, then kind of slogging it out as you go.  And then the last one is routing participants in the present.  So this is really just about at regular intervals reminding people where we are in the journey  so that we don't get lost in the cyberspace of a remote meeting.  Courses or remote meeting is virtual, people often can, you know, you're trying to hold  so many things, that picture that Jay showed of the guy with all the charts up, we're all  trying to remember so many things that are going on.  And if you can just remind people, this is what we've just covered, this is what we're  doing now and this is where we're going.  It creates that sense of flow and it helps remove some of the barriers and helps people  to then close feedback loops and get to that kind of nice positive state that we're really  wanting so that we can keep thinking in a high quality way.  And what we're going to do now is we're going to do the same thing we did just now, where  we're going to share what some of these practical ideas look like in silence and we're going  to pause in silence to allow you the space just to think about it for yourself because  we've been doing a lot of talking.  So Jay is going to share the deck in the chat and she'll also be showing it on her screen  and just for a couple of minutes we're going to keep quiet and allow you the space to look  through it and after that we will then wrap up.  Okay, I think that brings us to the last one there.  Thank you.  So once again you're welcome to use any of those and that's just some ideas that maybe  you can start playing with to bring a little bit more flow into your sessions.  And what we're going to do now is we're going to just do a quick recap and wrap up.  So our intention today was to detangle some of the complexities of remote interactions  using neuroscience.  So giving facilitators a little bit of a deeper understanding of what's happening for people  at quite an unconscious level so that they can create conditions that are helpful.  And so we spoke about the brain and threat and reward as well as what a facilitator can  be thinking about creating electricity and focusing on the process.  And then we spoke about connection and the importance of people feeling safe and connected  because otherwise people can experience social pain which actually registers in a way as  physical pain.  And we just spoke now about flow and creative connect ideas and we come to solutions and  how frustrating it feels when we're unable to do so, for whatever reason it is.  And how you as a facilitator if you can do small things that help people to flow through  a meeting you can really improve the quality of that space.  And that pretty much is a wrap.  So we have I think a few minutes left if there are any questions but all that's left for  us is to say thank you and our resources, the studies we referenced are on the last  slide so if you would like to check any of them out.  But thank you so much for your time and yeah, any questions?  Yeah, so thank you a second time.  Everyone who wants to make a question come into the BBB room just below the stream and  I will make your microphones open.  Thanks.  And Jay's just shared the slides in the chat also if you would like access to them.  Thank you for the feedback that's coming through.  Any questions?  Okay.  You can always reach us on social media if you have questions or want to explore things  further.  We are open to discussing things offline as well.  I don't see any questions out there.  The slides can also be found in our plan later on.  Oh, I see one coming through.  Do you have any suggestions on how to reduce meeting durations?  I have a few that came to mind and then Jay maybe you do too.  Think using asynchronous ways and the build up up to the meeting so if there's parts of  the discussion that you can have via text before the meeting that can really help.  So I've heard meetings criticized often for only capturing people's first reactions rather  than the deeper thinking.  So if it's a session or you need to evaluate lots of options often what we do is create  whether you use Confluence or Google Docs and invite people to add comments to each  other's thoughts there and get some of that initial thinking out so that when you get  to the meeting all you have to do is talk through the comments or whatever.  One way.  Another way is I find also to allow silent time within a meeting.  So whether it's time for people to read or write in silence means you can have 10 threads  going on rather than one linear thread of conversation.  So people are able to get out what they need to say in silence at the same time and then  you can discuss it.  So those are two.  I don't know Jay if there's anything else that came to mind.  I would just echo the asynchronous part.  I recently then like an interactive meeting but I asked participants to fill out a sheet  beforehand so they were able to gauge and read each other's answers before coming into  the meeting and then we just had a quick 30 minute discussion about what we saw.  So definitely one of the good options of reducing meeting time.  The other thing that also came to mind for me there is remote meetings also tend to take  a lot longer than in person in that because of the technical issues or you just need to  go a little bit slower.  So also find it's better to actually just take on less in the meeting rather than trying  to do everything.  Just take a small piece of the problem and solve that and then you can take the rest  of line or have another meeting but a short one as well.  So rather a few short ones spread out than long chunky ones where it begins to become  unproductive anyway.  I hope that helps.  Okay.  I believe one thing people miss in a remote meeting or in a remote workspace is more of  one-on-one talks with their colleagues.  There must be some time allotted for that.  Just like what a cool canteen kind of talking.  Yes.  Absolutely agreed.  I've seen lots of teams solve that in different ways.  I think it's a nice challenge to team because it's kind of something they can come up with.  Some things that I owe that we do is we have random coffee chat slots where you can just  dial in and you get paired with someone randomly for a very short time box so it doesn't get  awkward.  Just five minutes and the room has some questions in it already, some conversation starters if  you'd like.  But there's also you need lots of ways.  So we also have like a gaming channel where someone can suggest if they want to play an  online game because there's a lot of, I don't know if you played foosball or ping pong in  the office, that casual way that you come around a table together, you miss in a remote  space as well.  But there's quite a few fun real-time games you can play online which are super simple  too and offer that to your teams as a casual way to connect.  So I definitely agree that you need that space.  Those are two possible ways, Jay and the others.  So one thing that my team came up with is they just schedule social time in the afternoon.  So it's basically just a suggestion that came from the team and it's basically not a force  thing so anyone who wants to join from the team can join and it's just a casual conversation.  There's no, because the team is quite close and they're smallish, it's easier to just  converse about random topics than it would be when people don't know each other.  So definitely depends on context team and what they come up with for sure.  I see what is your preferred online game, I love board games and I've spent a lot of  time investigating the equivalent online.  So the ones I can recommend if you're looking for very quick games that are like ping pong,  so simple with a low barrier to entry and you obviously need to be able to create a  private room.  Hacksball is a really nice one.  We're going to be writing a blog soon because we've got a list of these.  Hacksball is really nice.  Tether I.O. is like a real time Tetris where you compete with each other.  There's Tag Pro which is a capture the flag mechanic.  Curve Fever which is where you make little like snakes.  So those are the simple ones.  If you're looking for a more complex game, I really like the Jackbox games on Steam.  They're really fun and there's a lot of cool ones on the Jackbox party packs.  If you're into more complex games, Dominion which is a card game has a free card game  platform and that's also quite a nice one.  There's lots others but those are my favorite.  J.  Hi, may I pose a question?  Yes.  In university business we are used to set meetings for let's say 9 o'clock in the morning  and to start really at quarter past nine.  This is the CT Comtemporal which is quite common at universities.  Would that be an idea for an online meeting as well just to leave the people 15 minutes  for social interaction?  Yes, I think that would be awesome.  In fact, if you're working with agile teams, I've seen a lot of teams, the typical rule  of a stand-up is that it's short, it's time boxed to 15 minutes.  We come in, we say our three things but in remote spaces I think allowing those to go  on a bit longer and allow people time to chat is really important.  So I think that's actually really nice to start a meeting intentionally with that in  mind.  Plus one from me.  It's just something you can agree with as a team as well.  We didn't talk speak about it.  What we spoke speak about is agreeing on your session rules or your meeting agreements  and that often you pull from the people in the meeting and not necessarily from you.  And so if it's a regular meeting with the same people, you can come up with that kind  of agreement.  So you set that expectation for everybody in the meeting.  So for 15 minutes it's just about hanging back.  So at least Ibran's away.  Cool.  I think we're probably on the hour now or at least at the end of our slot and there's  possibly other things happening.  So I'll hand over to the room admin now to close or do whatever is necessary.  Yeah, so thank you again.  I think we'll close down and see you in the next talk.  Thank you.  Bye everyone.
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