i try to keep it light on the drinks for three reasons : ( 1 ) i have to be sober enough to drive ; ( 2 ) i want to be aware of everything that happens , feel it , live it , because if i 'm going to do this , be with her , i 'm going to make it worth it ; and ( 3 ) i do n't want to have to make her check my insulin and help me with pills because i ca n't go without my jack daniel 's for the night .