shoggoth 's old peculiar benjamin lassiter was coming to the unavoidable conclusion that the woman who had written a walking tour of the british coastline , the book he was carrying in his backpack , had never been on a walking tour of any kind , and would probably not recognize the british coastline if it were to dance through her bedroom at the head of a marching band , singing `` i 'm the british coastline '' in a loud and cheerful voice while accompanying itself on the kazoo .