temeraire was trying to be just : he did not hold it against anyone , much , that they had not noticed laurence missing in the great confusion-although he had been trying to save the entire ship , and others had not been in quite so crucial a position ; someone else might have looked soone- '' but i do not think it unreasonably selfish of me , '' he said , `` that now the others should keep on without me , until i have found laurence .