there was syphilis , which pocked your face and drove the kings of england mad ; gonorrhea-the clap-a green oozing and more madness ; crabs , little pubic lice , which nested and itched ( he inspected his pubic hairs through a magnifying glass , but nothing moved ) ; aids , the eighties plague , a plea for clean needles and safer sexual habits ( but what could be safer than a clean wank for one into a fresh handful of white tissues ?