when nicky got up to go down the corridor she put her hand gently into his , and even though normally he would have told her to 'scoot , small fry ' or one of the other stupid things he said , he just squeezed her fingers a bit and his swollen mouth gave her this little smile , like just for once she was allowed ( or at least until he said , 'tanze , mate , i do actually need to go to the loo now ' ) .