ed nicholls stood in the little pink hotel bedroom that smelt of air freshener and disappointment and stared out at the bleak moors , at the little girl who had flopped onto the damp grass and was pulling the ears of the dog as he sat , tongue lolling , an expression of idiotic ecstasy on his great features , and he wondered why - given that he was so evidently doing the right thing - he felt like a complete shit .