i look at him over my shoulder , my body still facing away , and my hair obscures my vision , so i do n't see him coming , i smell him first-soap , shampoo , cologne , and that otherness of ben-scent-and then i feel him , an all-consuming presence over me , fingertips brushing my hair away , hand cupping under my neck and lifting my head , and his lips touch mine softly , briefly , gently .