carapace death and the spider she is dead falling body broken and vanquished , blood trailing her like crimson smoke markers she is mostly torso , arms severed , her head only partially attached to her shoulders the world is quiet when youre dead , silent and glorious , the light burning right through you , and there is such a sense of peace , such a feeling of abandonment , and you think : deaths not so bad , deaths not so frightening and then you relinquish the last of your flesh and watch it drop away like so much ballast , spiralling in broken circles , and there is only a moment of fleeting nostalgia for the shell you occupied for three and a half millennia and then you are moving outwards in all directions and it is as though the secret heart of the universe summons you home your task done your rest well deserved * when the visions of death begin she knows she is close to transformation .