one of those snatches , though , was a vivid recollection of standing in the parlor of number 17 , holding a bouquet of white roses , with john beside me and a military chaplain with a book before us-and , standing on john 's other side , grave and handsome , william in his captain 's uniform and shining gorget , looking so like jamie that i felt for a dizzying instant that jamie 's ghost had come to watch .