he willed all the random crazy images to stop ; he willed himself just to see her now , through his hands , and there rose again that lovely engulfing sense of her that had come and gone so swiftly in the car , of her surrounding him , and in a sudden violent hum , like the throb of electricity through his veins , he knew her , he knew the honesty of her life , and the intensity of it , and he knew her goodness , her undeniable goodness .