'he appeared absolutely real , you must understand indeed the way that the light struck him from below was altogether realistic but his expression alerted me at once to the fact that i was seeing something that could n't be real for though he was looking at me and obviously knew me , there was no urgency in his face , only a profound sadness , a great and weary distress 'it seemed he took his time even acknowledging that i had seen him , and then he gave a very weary and forbidding shake of his head i continued to stare at him , pushed and shoved by god knows how many individuals , the noise a perfect dm around me , and once again , he shook his head in this forbidding way then he lifted his right hand and made a definite gesture for me to go away 'i did n't dare move i remained absolutely calm as i always do at such moments , resisting the inevitable delirium , concentrating upon the noise , the press of the crowd , even the thin scream of the music and very carefully i memorized what i saw his clothes were dirty and disheveled the right side of his face was bruised or at least discolored 'finally i came round to the foot of the steps and started up only then did the phantom wake from its seeming languor once again , he shook his head and gestured for me to go away ''stuart ! '