this forgiving man , capable of evaluating without prejudice ( in the final analysis ) the hearts and actions of his fellow men , is to me a sort of romantic hero ; i certainly had myself in mind when i wrote it , and now , after reading it again so many years later , i am pleased at my inner model , my alter self , jack isidore of seville , california : more selfless than i am , more kind , and in a deep deep way a better man .