when the pie was done he wanted what he could n't have and so excused himself to take a nap and paused halfway up the stairs because now his heart felt like a fan with a playing card caught in it , and he stood there with his head down , waiting to see if this was the final one ( there had been two before ) , and when it was n't he went on up and took off all but his underdrawers and lay down on the crisp white coverlet .