'- then he can gather tiny particles to create a human shape ' then in a twinkling , i found myself in amsterdam in bed with my deborah , and all her words to me of that night were spoken again , as if i stood with her in the very room and all this i then told to my daughter , the witch in my arms , who poured the wine for me , whom i meant to take a thousand times before i should be released 'but if you know then that i am your father , why did you do this ? '