a raging waterfall crashed down on my mind , but the water was comprised of fingers , a hundred fingers , probing and pressing down into the skin of my neck , and then punching up through the bone of the back of my skull and into my brain ... and then the pressure eased even though the impression of unlimited force did not let up and for a time , still drowning , an icy calm came over me , and through the calm bled a kind of monumental blue-green light .