laurence wrote to jane , the merest word ; no apology could suffice , and he would not insult her , by asking her to sympathize , adding only : ... and i wish to make clear , that i have in no wise made my thoughts known to , nor received aid of , my officers , my crew , or any man ; and , neither deserving nor soliciting any excuse for my own part , do heartily entreat that all blame attaching to these my actions should be laid at my door alone , and not upon those who can not even be charged , as might on similar occasions be merited , with culpable blindness , my resolve having been formed bare minutes before setting ink to this page , and will upon its enclosure be immediately carried out .