when i was a little lad i had this book about this little kid , he turned into a mermaid , sort of thing , and he lived down the bottom of the sea- ' '-the oggin- ' 'right , and it was all nice talking fishes and pink seashells and stuff , and then i went on my holidays to quirm and i saw the sea , and i thought : here goes , and if our ma had n't been quick on her feet i do n't know what would have happened .