Ohh jeez I almost bursted out laughing on work D <| sep |> Definitely 1 Beam Me Up and 3 Cardboard Zombies . Then maybe 1 HailACopter and 1 Electrician . <| sep |> Huge thanks for the insight . I meant to reply , because I do gave some specific questions that might be better in PM . Your situation seems very similar to mine , but your further along in the process . Before I could , he and I actually had the conversation , and we made some headway in unexpected areas . It involves sex , so my wall of text will be worthwhile . With some difficulty , we got to the root of his need for admiration , and as I expected , it ' s ugly duckling syndrome . He has a need to feel attractive because of his medical issues and social problems when he was younger . He insists that he just wants the attention from me , not from other guys , but I think he is confusing what he wants with what he wants to want . It ' s a bit reassuring that he ' s trying to keep me as the center of his life because he deeply loves me , but I ' m pretty certain that ' s not going to work in the long run . We ' re gonna revisit the open conversation tomorrow and I ' m going to insist on a rule change . Not all was completely lost though . I don ' t usually discuss my sex life , but apparently his need for adoration extends into the bedroom . For 10 years , I ' ve been trying to keep my cool and make sure I don ' t look like a groveling desperate body worshipper , or to come off as disrespectful or objectifying . But , that ' s what I ' m doing in my head , because that ' s what gets me off . As it turns out , he has wanted to be treated like an object the whole time , but was afraid if he admitted it , he would seem like a narcissist . This news was like fantasy turning into reality . He gave me the green light to basically treat him like a piece of meat . So , I did , and it was like the on switch came back on between us . It was amazing ! I can ' t believe we went so long not understanding each other .