That commercial just made me sad . <| sep |> I owe the realization and my life in general to getting involved in paintball at age 10 , my coaches were amazing influences in my life and kept me from committing suicide on more than one occasion I dropped aessage they found concerning and both coaches were at my house in 30 minutes and spent the whole night talking to me . They show me a lot about how to work out my anger in more constructive ways . I will say that the urge to relapse does get less frequent , certain stressor will make it worse have had several loved ones die and I had a really hard time not taking it out on othersIf your serious you ' ll get the there . Also , I recommend journaling , for 2 reasons . 1 . It helps to relate the anger if you get what you are feeling down on paper , I ' d do this all the time , I didn ' t even always save it my mom had been known to read journals but even if I burned it at least all the stuff I wanted to stay was out of me . 2 . It helps you track your emotionsmoods and pick up on triggers , patterns , and your progress . When you are making veery small steps it helps a lot to be able to read back and see how far you ' ve actually made it .