I ' m hoping an hour after your guess . <| sep |> ya i barely look either , if its good content it rises to the top <| sep |> Hypothetically , yes . There should be something that the HL can do to fix the DB . As with any argument , it is much easier to say if they would just see that I am right and then apologize and change , everything would be peachy . Assumptions are made . Communication is poor . Sex can come with tricky baggage . Hypothetically , the needed changes could come from either side . Practically though . you are talking to a bunch of HLs who would do literally anything to fix the DB if they could just figure out what to do . They ' ve been actively seeking a solution for some time now . I can see things now that my HL could have done to fix the DB or to have avoided the DB completely . But I have to say me trying understand him and me trying to fix the DB has been the easiest , most direct path to a happier sex life . Push to shove , it is easier for me to initiate cuz even when he has to say no which is not often , he truly appreciates that I asked . and even that brings us closer together .