Here ' s the reason men are still expected to make the first real moves . You can debate the fairness of the system , but that ' s the way it currently is . Given that , the fact women even message you first is a decent sign that they likely find you somewhat attractive . So , instead of giving the noncommittal answer as a woman might in the reverse situation , you as a male member of society must make the first move . Ask her about something in her profile . Incorporate a joke . Don ' t just say hi back , it ' s almost like a rejection for them . <| sep |> Ich kann nicht einmal nazi <| sep |> Your uncle is 17 , with the normal lack of maturity . He is being meanbut it is nothing you have any control over . You don ' t make the rules . You don ' t enforce the rules . You have no control over the situation , and whether or not it is fair . His sexual comments to you are also very inappropriate . You don ' t have a dad ? This is what my Dad would tell me to do in your shoes , to help you grow into handling these sort of situations for yourself . Message I don ' t make the rules . I don ' t enforce the rules . I don ' t control what grandma does or talks about . Stop being mean to me for things I have nothing to do with . Go argue with your mom if you don ' t like what she talks about . Then , if he sends another mean thing back , addIf you keep messaging about my choices and my girl friend this way , I will be showing your hateful messages to my grandma and mom . You owe me an apology . And then follow through . This way , you stand up for yourself and confront him without being called a tattle tale and act the part of the adult . But , you still keep the option to tell on him if he escalates , which is appropriate because of your age .