Hope you don ' t mind an ongoing dialogue , and I ' m totally not disregarding your suggestions . For me , ever since I first dropped out of university at age 1718 , I ' ve been basically seeing a variety of counselors since then . Be it ongoing if we mesh well or just onetime check ups . I ' ve seen multiple psychiatrists and even done mental health programs like CBT cognitive behavior therapy . Again , these kinds of things have helped me through certain situations , like my difficulty talking with ANYONE I ' m much better at speaking to a degree . But , I ' ve been to so many different forms of mental help since then , both group and individual . But no matter what kind of help I try to employ in my own life , be it changing dieting habits , to being more active , to lessening video game play , etc . nothing helps with this gaping hole I have in my heart every day . Most days I ' ll spend hours crying , trying not to think about these sorts of things , it ' s all just so hard . I ' m even medicated on all sorts of stuff . nothing seems to help . I ' m sorry to hear about your family member though . I ' m happy to hear that differences have been made in those sorts of situations . If anything , I love to hear about others doing well . Thank you again for your response though , I appreciate the conversation 3