You can get banned for starting a discussion instead of upvoting memes , for being a concern troll . <| sep |> I am thankful to be without illness . Medicine can be the most humbling profession . <| sep |> Sit down with your wife first . Say something like , Hey honey , I need your help with something I just found out about my family and I ' m not sure what to do . I could really use your support and help dealing with this . Let her respond then explain to her that you ' ve just recently found ou that you have a 22 something year old son from a relationship you had back in high school and you ' re really not sure what to do and how to handle it in regards to her , your kids , and both your families . She ' ll be a little less shocked but should be willing to help . She ' ll probably ask you to explain and explain exactly how you did here . Your ex was suddenly moved across the country and forced not to contact you . You can explain how she ' s apparently sick and while you understand it ' s generally frowned upon to give money or anything to an ex , you feel that because money is not an issue and you never paid child support it would be worth exploring for his sake . You could even potentially have some type of relationship with the son if that ' s what you want but don ' t necessarily expect your family to take kindly to it initially . You ' ll have to ease them in . Hope this helps because there ' s really no easy way to go about it . Luckily for you your wife is a doctor and would definitely involve herself in something like this .