I wasn ' t talking to you though . I was talking to the lard barge . <| sep |> Ok , that does change things a little , yes . <| sep |> I just got out of an open relationship of 2 years . He had been living the poly lifestyle for nearly 20 years , it was my first experience . We attended poly support group and social functions . I never had other partners , he did . I realized the majority of these people have mental issues and liked drama in their lives . Observations 1 . Hypergamy is definitely a real problem in poly communities . In fact , my ex ' s former wife left him for a man who is definitely more alpha , even though he ' s 60 and fat , they are married now . The married woman he was seeing when we were together broke up her 15 year marriage with a hardworking man who provided while she was a SAHM to 2 kids . Why ? Because although my ex is basically a beta male in all aspects and not a provider , when it comes to sex , he is very dominant and kinky . So , she perceived him as being alpha and ruined her kids lives just so she can get off . These are sad stories , but not uncommon in poly circles . 2 . There will always be that double standard . Men get far more jealous than women . This was discussed often in group therapy sessions . When the guy has other women , it ' s fine but as soon as his wife has men , suddenly there are all these issues . Unless he has a kink about seeinghearing her escapades , which was rare . Generally , men don ' t like their sweetheart to be getting strange dick , no matter how evolved they are trying to be . 3 . A poly lifestyle is not often a solid solution to a dead bedrooms , many couples thought it would be and realized the dead bedroom was a symptom of all the other issues . Or at least , the DB was not simply because one partner had a LL . 4 . There will be drama . No matter how long you ' ve been open , no matter how great your relationship is , no matter how old or evolved you think you are . you are adding other people to your life in very intimate ways , and there ' s only so much energy and time to go around . If you are a busy person or someone who doesn ' t do well in high stress situations , stay away .