she didn ' t really want to kill you , she wants you to live without your children , that ' s why she tried to kill herself , she probably thought her and the kids would ' escape ' together . She has her own route now and it will be defined by the justice system , as for you , only thing I can say is thisshe didn ' t give you a choice , an option , an out , she planned this just enough to cause you pain indefinitely , I don ' t know your kids but as sweet as they look I can ' t imagine that is what they would want for their dad . You owe it to your children and yourself , don ' t let the woman who did this get her wish fulfilled , live a life your children would be proud of , even if you just devote yourself to picking up trash for the rest of your life , much better then giving up .