From my experiences , finances and siblings being treated differently in that regard causes a huge amount of resentment to those who perceive being disadvantaged . As for your other question relating to younger people , I find it ' s generally uninformative to draw generalized conclusions of a whole segment of people based on your experiences with a handful of them . But based on what you said that she can be determined when she wants to suggests that it may be about finding proper motivation . What was she motivated about in the past ? Then try and link elements of those situations to your desired outcomes for her . Example If she was really passionate about doing well in a creative writing class in high school perhaps emphasize then that having a place of her own allows her a unique opportunity to express herself . Then it becomes a question of how do I get there ? at which point you can discuss the steps required to achieve that end goal . Also personally speaking , I always prefer to wholly plan something I ' m doing from AZ whether it ' s financial goals or a project at work to optimize what I ' m doing . But I find sometimes doing so despite its advantages can make the task seem really daunting and I lack motivation do start it . So then I have to change my mindset and just think about small steps and constantly ask what comes next ? . It may be suboptimal in terms of effort expended but it ' s better than not doing it at all .