What ' s left of our secondary anyways <| sep |> Ask your wife this question Did she forget being slappedhit by her family ? She ' ll probably say no , or try to make up excuses and minimize her own experiences . And the latter often happens with people who were abused , because accepting you were the victim of abuse makes you vulnerable or so most abused people seem to think . Nonetheless , you both need couples counseling and maybe your wife needs individual counselling as well . And until you guys are on the same page about how and who to discipline your child , don ' t visit your in laws and expose your child to potentially more harm . You were right about getting your child away from there btw . That ' s good parenting right there