Hi I think understand how you feel . I didn ' t like asking for help when I was younger because I didn ' t want to bother people and I don ' t like to owe anyone anything . I was once majorly depressed , my selfesteem was nothing , and almost suicidal because I was failing college . I was talking to a friend who had mostly A ' s , and they said I know how you feel , I get really depressed about school too and I ended up consoling them even though I was about to get kicked out of school when I was working my hardest . That was . bad . INTJ ' s can be brutal . They just don ' t factor in people ' s feelings at all and we ' re sensitive . Feels bad to have your concerns be completely invalidated by logic . I ' m not sure about ISTP and INTP , but they ' re not F ' s so I imagine it could be similar . I don ' t have any particular advice on how to get more out of your friend group , I ' m not sure if you can . I just end up bottling it up and writing down my feelings in my journal . Journaling is a really really really good habit ! It ' s amazing that I can know my thoughts and feelings at any point in the past as well as what I did . I also write down things I ' m grateful for which helps keep a positive perspective on life . Sometimes I have a good cry which makes me feel both sadder and better at the same time lol . What I did find helpful was to 1 not help them unless they ask for it 2 be less emotionally involved when I do help by keeping in mind I ' m not going to get anything back . It ' s kind of a bummer to get all depressed listening to their troubles , getting emotionally involved , help them feel better , and now they feel good but I ' m still depressed and they won ' t do the same for me when I ' m down . This line 158 is kind of funny and is a decent reminder to set boundaries . edit oh yeah , you ' re definitely not selfish . It ' s part of the maturing process of an infj to understand that your own needs are just as if not more important than others .