Seriously it looks absolutely disgusting . A pan of yellow mush . Giving housewifery a bad name ! <| sep |> I ' m currently devastated by the ending of a rather toxic relationship . I fell in love with my best friend 11 years ago , but it was unrequited and I eventually learned to move on . But she came back into my life last year and we began dating . Only to find out that she still has deep feelings for her ex fiance from four years prior the same guy she initially rejected me for . This kind of , sort of drove me mad with insecurity and reawakened all of my own pain , I began coping with horrid strategies , and we fell into hell . So I guess it was more of an emotionally unavailable kind of circumstance , but I can somewhat relate regardless . I tend to fall , and fall hard . And more often than not it ' s for people who can ' t seem to return the same kind of overflowing , bubbling affections that you describe . I idealize this person as my entire world , they become my muse , my inspiration , my motivation , my closest companion , my best friend . Having that torn away from me feels crippling . I know I have some soulsearching to do and to perhaps reevaluate my inner workings , my own wants and needs for affection , my selfesteem , and my pursuit of happiness independent of others . Time to begin anew .