My father told me this when I went through my divorceNo matter how much you hate your ex , don ' t trash talk her in front of your daughter . Shes going to talk so much shit about you in front of her , but never do it back . When your daughter grows up , she will notice that you were the adult in the relationship and her mom was the petty one . Me and my ex split when my daughter was a little over 4 . Shes 9 now and shes already starting to see . Shes told me some of the horrible things that her mom has said about me and I just assure her that they aren ' t true and that her mom is still angry about things and that ' s what people do when they are mad . My daughter asks me if I am angry and i just tell her , how can I be angry when I ' m spending time with you . It always seems to make her face light up . It ' s been hard sometimes , her mom has said some VERY downright nasty things about me and part of me wonders if my daughter thinks that maybe I was the only bad one in the relationship because shes only hearing one side , but i have to believe that when my daughter gets older , she will understand .