I think you ' re still in the phase where the mechanics haven ' t clickedgive it a rest for a day or two , try again , and you ' ll probably find yourself performing better . you don ' t really get better at something while pissed off at it , after all <| sep |> Yeah , me too . My grandparents died in Dresden . <| sep |> I know , to this day I don ' t know why I reacted like this . To add insult to injury I had been contacted by previous hookups , but always said no naturally and told my SO about it . I have no fucking clue why I reacted the way I did that day , and why I didn ' t say anything . I just froze . Maybe I was surprised by his reaction , but still . I didn ' t do anything . Only when he closed the door I noticed myself starting crying , badly . Reliving this haunts me , because I don ' t understand it .