I would be fuming ! You have every right to be upset . This was a huge violation of your trust . And if they couldn ' t respect a boundary as monumental as this , it will only get worse from here . I would absolutely say something , and I ' m usually very non confrontational . No , you can ' t change it . But that doesn ' t mean you should just blow it off either . DH needs to be the one to explain how not cool that was . I am so sorry that they did this to you . <| sep |> I don ' t know exactly where you ' re applying , but my law school UMN , has at least one professor who very much empathizes with this viewpoint . He was an assistant U . S . Attorney for several years , and though he had an offer to be a federal public defender , he took the prosecutorial job because he felt he could do more good for the system as a responsible prosecutor than as a public defender . He ' s also a phenomenal professor .