This is a really tricky situation . On one hand , your sister feels like she has to put up with your mother ' s abuse for the sake of her children , but on the other hand , is having her in their life really that beneficial at all ? It seems like it ' s only a matter of time before she turns her focus on them , subjecting them to the same kind of emotional abuse she put you through . I also get the feeling that she picked on you the most BECAUSE you were the tallest and thinnest . She felt bad about herself and wanted to take it out on you . What ' s to stop her from doing the same to her grandkids ? She ' s already lost you for a time because of her actions , and she ' s running the risk of alienating herself from her grandchildren too . Maybe you could sit her down and have a calm discussion about how the things she says affects other people and that if she doesn ' t cut the shit , she might lose her family . If that doesn ' t work , which it probably won ' t , maybe all of you should cut contact with her for a while and she ' ll see what she stands to lose . It doesn ' t seem like words get through to her , so maybe drastic action will . But again , it ' s a tough call because she is your mother . I ' m sorry you have to deal with this and I hope it all works out for the best !