I guess I ' ll woosh myself . <| sep |> Can we get an update for this once it ' s sorted please op ? <| sep |> MexicansMore like illegal immigrants from Mexico voting Trump . The PC was apprehended trying to illegally cross the border right ? <| sep |> Probably The Way I Am . Because I really love how both of them didn ' t really give crap about what people think or react . The said what they think . It wasn ' t an act , It was '' The Way They Are '' He would have liked it for sure <| sep |> I ' ve always wondered , since my great grandmother was American , but the rest of my family are British , could I go to America and claim that I ' m an American ? <| sep |> Top comment covers most of what I have to say , but I ' ll elaborate in some areas . It was very apparent to me before seeing the credits that you , the writerdirector , edited this yourself . It shouldn ' t take 6 and a half minutes over half the length of the entire short to introduce the catalyst . Before the missing hamster , the only conflict was the choice between duty and desire . This bit of internal conflict introduced your character very effectively right away and didn ' t need to be expanded upon , like in the scenes of her playing around with toys . I immediately knew your character when she chose to find a snack instead of address the water on the floor . I think the phone call was a missed opportunity for more subtle expository dialogue . Her explanation was unnatural because the guy ' s dialogue didn ' t warrant it . He could ' ve used his desire for her to attend his show to reveal her situation naturally . He seemed pretty neutral about it until his last line . If her attendance was important to him , wouldn ' t he be more inquisitive ? You could ' ve used this guy to ask the questions that are on the audience ' s mind every time she says something . The only necessary part of the letter from her sister was the part about the bonus and the plant watering . The bonus bit gave the audience insight into her relationship with her sister , and the plant bit was a good laugh that added to Caitlin ' s character . Everything before that was just information that the audience and Caitlin already knew . The dancing scene was WAY too long and could ' ve been cut entirely . 25 seconds of her sitting drinking wine was enough to show that she wasted time . Her looking at the clock was also unnecessary . She says that it ' s after 3 when she ' s on the phone . And again , the shot of her eating ice cream is another example of timewasting that we don ' t need to see . For the sake of pacing , I ' d have sped up her desperate search for the hamster with quicker cutting . We ' ve all seen a frantic search scene before and can tell pretty much right away that she ' s not going to find it . I didn ' t understand the point of the Skype call either . Wouldn ' t Julia be with her husband ? If so , couldn ' t Caitlin have used the opportunity to tell her about the curtain guy not showing up ? That aside , right when the story gets interesting we get sucked out for something that doesn ' t seem very important . Was it supposed to be a transition to the moping scene ? If so , the part in between of her searching more made it awkward . I think you should ' ve cut right to her giving up . The music seemed too sad for this part too . The sudden change in tone was a bit jarring . Being nearly a minute is also a bit long . You could ' ve accomplished this scene in probably 10 seconds . I agree with the top comment about seeing Caitlyn grow a bit at the end . Finding the hamster tackling it after the Monty Python run was a bit weird , but whatever would ' ve led nicely to a more complete ending where she finally cleans up the floor . The floor kind of seemed like a symbol of her attitude towards responsibility . Seeing everything work out for such a selfish character doesn ' t pay off unless they learn something . That ' s how I feel at least . Anyway , apologies for giving you another long comment to read . Your short had a lot of great qualities , especially in terms of production value , but I think the above was just a bit too much to look past . Cutting the length in half or even more would make a drastic improvement . It can be difficult to cut your own jokes and ideas , so I ' d suggest having an editor take a crack at it .