I think I have arrived at the point where I am starting to leave humanity behind . The thing is I don ' t think I look that big . I ' m not even as bigstrong as I have been in the past . Injuries are preventing me from lifting heavy and I ' m only 5 ' 9 210215 bodyfat between 1214 realistically . I am talking moreso about the mentality I am under at the moment . Starting to lose sight of why I ' m doing this . Women are becoming too intimidated by me and the only people that honestly appreciate the gains are other men . Either women assume I ' m a walking std trap because of my physique , or that I ' m gay because I am obsessive with my physiqueself improvement . Life was better as an aesthetic brah when I was steady 180190 . Just my two cents . Feels bad man