hehehe . chutia <| sep |> I agree with you very much on the not all cheating being alike . And I think that ' s a hard subject that not a lot of couples openly talk about , perhaps it ' s because of stigma or maybe it ' s because they don ' t even know where their limits are . I know a couple who have a strict line in their relationship , no physical intimacy with others . They can be flirtatious with others , send nudes , talk dirty , etc . But there is absolutely no physical contact . They also are interested in 3 somes and sexual experimentation , but they have that hard limit that neither partner can engage in physical intimacy without the other ' s permission . And this has worked for them for almost 10 years now . On the other extreme , I know a couple who don ' t communicate very well about boundaries and I have serious doubts about their ability to remain monogamous . She gets angry if he masturbates , especially if it involves pornography . To my knowledge , he has never cheated , but he talks about taking the opportunity if he has it . She confides that she is extremely sexually frustrated in their relationship , but doesn ' t seem to want to explore their sexual relationship beyond her admittedly narrow and strictly defined limits . I don ' t believe she ' s cheated yet either . Of both relationships , I believe that in the first couple , if one of them exceeded their boundaries rule , they would split up . Mostly because they have a rule that they both agreed to follow and there ' s a trust foundation built up . If someone in the second couple cheated , I strongly doubt they would split up . Anger and recriminations definitely , but they ' d probably stay together . At least until one of them cheated again .