Y ' all need to convince the Lobster to retire somehow . <| sep |> Benatar argues that there ' s an asymmetry between deprivation of pleasure and pain . For instance , say you wanted to give someone a surprise party , if you had the choice between throwing a small party between friends , or a large party paid for by a game show on the condition that they could film kidnapping your friend to scare the hell out of them before bringing them to their awesome surprise party , what would you do ? Probably not the second , because while you don ' t need their consent really to give them free pleasure , you do need their consent to cause them suffering . So while , yes , life has both pleasure and suffering , the suffering automatically means you aren ' t allowed to bring a child into existence and the pleasure cannot cancel that out just like it can ' t cancel out the kidnapping .