Maybe . I don ' t tend to feel addicted to it , and I go long periods of time without falling to the urge . I just do it when the chant of self hatred gets too loud for me to continue living . <| sep |> Happen to have a sauce or name ? <| sep |> As someone who grew up in the North Bay Santa Rosa , I salute you . Definitely need to learn how to cook if you want to find a woman though . <| sep |> No it ' s a costume that was taken out of the store that i really want . <| sep |> I agree . I remember them talking about what it was in school , but I don ' t recall the details . <| sep |> Thank you , physical intimacy is hard for me without emotional intimacy pretty much sums up what I ' ve been feeling . On top of that I can imagine it would be easier to hear that , as it doesn ' t come across as a personal slight . I do think you ' re right , feeling rejected and a self esteem hit might be a big part of what ' s going on .