Mate , maybe outside just isn ' t for you . Don ' t measure yourself by others , measure yourself by you . Learn who you are , what you do and don ' t like , what feels naturaleasysafe for you , and do them . It may be different from 99 % of people , it may not . Either way , you only have the one go at this , may as well enjoy it . Oh , and PS , don ' t see it as cowardice . See it as a roadblock . No offence but our instinct fights death . You maybe just got some primal in you and don ' t like dying . I got lots of primal in me , dont like death , do like food , do like sex , etc . Just , chill , give you a break and start finding the silver linings to shit . It ' s all we can do to be honest , and that ' s backed up by some decent science .