At what point does it become okay to sayit ' s an older meme , sir , but it checks out to this one ? <| sep |> Because I would have to find a new one that has to be more understanding and it would take alot of time to get even the first appointment with him ca . 3 months . <| sep |> I ' d have to imagine your sister shares a few more warm fuzzies than mine . my sis is cold as ice . What ' s interacting with your dad like ? <| sep |> But who verifies the verifiers ? <| sep |> Norman absolutely did not throw any punches during the game , you ' re just making things up at this point . I ' m not disputing that Josh is an asshole , but he didn ' t do anything even remotely worthy of an ejection . Also LOL at OBJ having one incident . <| sep |> Cue standard Intro to Kink post ! Let ' s start at the very beginning . A very good place to start . . . dammit ! Slipped into show tunes . Won ' t happen again . Anyways ! Let ' s start with the basics There is a community created BDSM FAQ over here that might answer some of your questions but should be a good read regardless . Now onto my spielCommunication . This should come WAY before anything else be it educational or physical . You two need to talk to each other and have an open and HONEST dialog about what you like , dislike , want , are curious about , refuse to try ect . If either party involved isn ' t honest then you ' re risking not only hurt feelings but possible harm done to the other . Keep this communication thing going though . It shouldn ' t just be a one time thing , it needs to continue as you grow in your relationship as well as grow in your BDSM knowledge base . We ' ll get back to the communication thing in a bit . Next step ! Education ! Before you throw a lasso around your SO and string them up from the rafters it ' s a REALLY good idea to learn what in the hell you ' re trying to do and make sure it is physically , mentally and emotionally safe for all parties involved . To get to this there are a number of books that you can read , my personal suggestion for someone new is Screw the Roses , Send me the Thorns . If it has to be in book form , try that one . If you ' re more the type that likes to read on the intrawebs you should really check out www . fetlife . com as a starting place . It is not a meatmarket but more of a social outlet for kinksters . A place to learn about BDSM as well as find your local scene . Please note I do NOT suggest anything by Wiseman for newbies . He is very pretentious and elitist in not only the subjects he writes about but also in his approach to the entire scene . I am not saying he doesn ' t have some good ideas and articles , merely that his SHOULD NOT be the first introduction someone has to the BDSM world . Throughout this education phase you should be sharing and talking with your SO about what both of you are learning . Share what gets you hot , what gets him hot , what squicks either of you out , what questions you are working on . In short share EVERYTHING that you ' re finding ! Next step ? Get out there ! I am a HUGE proponent of becoming a part of your local scene . Meeting those that can help and support you in your journey cannot be overstated . Not only will these people make you feel like less of an outlier sexually speaking they are a font of information in your travels . Looking for a local kink shop ? They ' ll know . Looking for where to get the right rope ? They ' ll know . Looking for someone to teach you how to rig ? They ' ll know . Looking to learn about fire play ? They ' ll know . Looking . . . well you get the point . So now what ? Now ? Now you need to remember that regardless of all the rules and the right way and wrong way the ENTIRE PURPOSE of BDSM is to have fun . That ' s right . It may well be a lifestyle for some and a minor kink for others but if you aren ' t having fun shocking your SO with a cattle prod then why in the hell are you doing it ? ! So make sure you and your partner are having fun ! Keep your mind open and stay safe !