Ye I heard of people with 5 legendaries aswell , but they got them so early when the bug that blizzard fixed was there . Your theory is one I ' ve never heard before , but is definately interesting <| sep |> Uhh yeah . Never pretended it to be otherwise . <| sep |> The stream of consciousness , step by step narrative is annoying , structurally . You are half giving a summary of events and half inserting your own opinions everywhere likely without realizing it . When you say things likeScott had been manipulated for so long by this man who was now threatening Nathan and Jean , and he refused so see it go any further . orHis memory of the orphanage was blurry , maybe from the crash , orThere isn ' t a single word to describe the emotions Scott had when he saw Maddie on television with a message for him , she was sacrificing herself and begging him to find their missing son . Scott knew he could never fix how he ended their marriage , but he could do right by his son and enlisted Jean to help find him . orbut for Cyclops , protecting the mutant race was more important than how he protected it . Etc . You ' re putting your own interpretations onto the events you are describing . Some of what you write may come from quotes , either of the character or the narrator . If it ' s a quote , then use a quote . If it ' s your interpretation or opinion , then I don ' t want to read it . The fact that you so casually mix that in with the factual history is incredibly jarring . Secondly , you heavily rely on really flowery terms and descriptors for everything . Some of this stems from the first issue , but constantly using phrases likeCyclops had to watch helplesslyHe was left tremblingCyclops fought valiantly for her , He was in awe of her , intoxicated with herand allowed her to control the darkness that loomed inside her , the universe readjusted forever to her slight presence . And so on , and so forth . You ' re just trying to sexy it up . And again , it ' s your own interpretations of everything . If you have a textual justification for these things , justify it with a quote from the text . If not , leave it out . Related to the above is also an over reliance on useless detail . The vessel crashed into Jamaica Bay and Cyclops swam frantically to find her . The water bubbled , then erupted in a blast of waves and foam . We don ' t need to know where they crashed . We don ' t need to know that the water erupted in bubbles and waves and foam . including saving Alex from a cult leader obsessed with Pharaohs . We don ' t need to know about that mission at all . Major Christopher Summers knew they only had one parachute in their de Havilland Mosquito We don ' t need to know what kind of plane it was . We don ' t need to know any information that ' s irrelevant . Unless the plane crashed because ' de Havilland Mosquitos ' were subject to a recall notice that Major Summers never knew about , and this was the cause of the crash , who gives a shit what they were flying in ? And finally , much of what is written is simply ugly prose . Run on sentences , poor grammar , excessive use of the passive voice which is boring and uninteresting to read . I am selecting a few samples here , but this is rampant . He was being a halfhearted XMan and a halfhearted husband , culminating in him missing the birth of his son , Nathan Christopher Charles Dayspring Askani ' son Summers , for an XMen mission he wasn ' t even supposed to be on . This is 2 , or maybe 3 , sentences , written in the passive voice , and stitched together with commas . There he met a pilot who worked for them , she wore a green jacket , gold scarf , and had fiery red hair . Again , two sentences , and incredibly mundane details . He was left trembling when Jean confessed that she couldn ' t control the Phoenix inside her and again , Cyclops had to watch helplessly as the only person in the world to understand him sacrificed herself for the greater good . Run on sentence , passive voice and poor grammar . Cyclops fought valiantly for her , when faced with certain demise , the two faced it together . Two sentences , bad grammar . Scott tried to stop her , he couldn ' t lose Jean , but she knocked him out with a psionic blast . Run on sentence that could be combined into one actual sentence with some editing . That ' s the thing about the concept of right , being intellectually correct is different than making the best decision , and this is a concept I struggle with . I am an opinionated and intelligent individual , and I struggle to do the wrong thing when I know there is a better way . That ' s why I related to Scott Summers so much , because just like him , I am right , but it isn ' t doing a damn bit of good . This might be the single most pretentious and annoying paragraph I have ever read . All in all , I think you should get a grammar book and a style guide , and probably a professional editor too . Hope that was constructive enough . Sorry all my examples were from the first page , but the second page is the same .