to which they will answer you ' re not trying hard enough <| sep |> We should run together soon then p <| sep |> Well don ' t think about it that way . Just make friends and be close to them . <| sep |> Chronicle is good sci fisuperpowerhorror <| sep |> Don ' t forget anything that isn ' t a red state isn ' t part of real America . I really hate whoever came up with that bit of bullshit . <| sep |> The stone age didn ' t end because we ran out of stones <| sep |> Here to help ! First things first your story is a tad bit shy of the rnosleep word requirements . You must have at least 500 words to a story , and I have you at 493 . But that won ' t matter by the end of this I have very little time left , and I know it . I have been getting . visited , so to speak , from my son every single night . He ' s five , so you might be thinking this is a sweet story , but you would be wrong . It started when he was around 3 . My wife heard this strange clicking noise in the middle of the night , and she sent me to investigate as anyone would do in her position . She was a mother , and she had raised three children . she needed her sleep , and I was ever willing to provide her with this one simple luxury . I was the one who got up in the middle of the night now whenever anyone needed help . It shouldn ' t have been this way . A boy needs his mother , and it should have been her . The clicking noise was mine to investigate , though , so there I was searching the house for the source . It took a few minutes to realize the sound was coming from his room . Good way to establish a setting in a shorter story . No need for unnecessary buildup or background . Simply this is who am I and this is happening . Personally , saying a child needs their mother as opposed to any parent rubbed me the wrong way , but I understand the logic and that I ' m probably an outlier . Anyways . Short and sweet . It can work . I found him standing up , motionless . The clicking noise was coming from his mouth . He was chewing something . I walked up to him slowly and gently , so as not to frighten him . I got down on my left knee and began to reach over to touch his shoulder when it hit me . When I walked into the room I had focused directly on this child in the corner , but now that I was closer , there was someone in the bed . Someone small . It was my son . I just knew it . I would begin this paragraph with some adjectives to establish the scenery . Describe the room . Were you nervous ? Also , state that he was in the corner early on . I didn ' t understand it in my first reading . I had assumed you went to his bedcrib . To end it , maybe you can say that you picked him up to put him in bed and saw a child already in his bed . Or something . I think you can understand my point . I must be dreaming , I thought . obviously this can ' t be real . I got the sudden sensation that I should not take my eyes off this other one . Why was I here again ? The clicking noise . Jesus that noise . what is he chewing ? I put my hand on this other boy who is also my son , and he turned to me with a face that destroyed me . I have never seen someone smile like that . This was my son alright . he was a smiley happy kid , but this was different . It ' s what was IN his mouth that destroyed me . He was chewing a finger . his own finger . The clicking noise was the sound of his own bones breaking as he gnawed on them . Tense is a little odd to me in the first sentence . Maybe try I thought I was dreaming . This obviously wasn ' t real . Avoid the word sudden and just say what you felt . Also , when you ' re telling a story in past tense you don ' t want to interject your thoughts as if you were experiencing them in the present . It throws the flow off . Now I looked at the boy in the bed . THIS was my son . but the bed was bloody , right near his finger . I scream and then I ' m waking up in bed to my son crying hysterically next to me . He ' s screaming more than anything . he had a nightmare about a boy biting him . I mean . Solid , basically . Just tensing issues . Every night has been this way . Every night my wife wakes me up and I go into his room and find the boy chewing a new body part . Every night , my son comes into my room to tell me about the nightmare . For the past week , though , he no longer wakes me up screaming . He just stands there counting my fingers . Every night has been this way since then . Overall , solid premise and creepy idea . If you ' re aiming for a short , creepy story I believe this is all you would need to nail it . If you wanted to expand this into a longer , terrifying story it might take a lot more in terms of building suspense and describing scenes . I think it ' s best as it is though , minus the few things I pointed out . ulevlove ? ufourberry ?