Crazy ? Anxiety ? Depression ? No . Do not let mainstream societal views and supposed professional ' psychiatric ' personnel govern and suggest proposed diagnoses for how your mind attempts to deal with the unknown and the amazing . All these mental health issues you say you suffer from , they are all an illusion freedom and wellbeing are a state of mind and affirmation . Program your mind , program reality . Your reality seems to be incarnate of the powers and wonders of Consciousness and the Universe as is all Life , but not all have the ability to sift through the detritus and be one in Spirit , be sanctified in the knowledge that all things have meaning to be found . You are in a unique position to emanate meaning to all those around and and further ! Oh wondrous is the Universe ! I understand that you feel the anxiety , the depression and the other states of ' illness , ' that is why you sought help , no ? What I implore you to understand is that , barring pathology . even so , anything and everything may be overcome by the powers of Music , Love , Wisdom and Will . Program your mind , program reality . Might I suggest that microdosing with those Psilocybins will most certainly aid you , taking large doses should be done with a Tribe and as a Ceremony I use these words as descriptive placeholders . Also , Cannabis can have a powerful effect on the central nervous system your experience seems to have centered around the alteration of your Consciousness level at that time and this can most certainly ' open ' a portal to the Spirit . The combination of this , your obvious connection to alternate Conscious realms , and the powerful visualization you conjured all culminated in Divine intervention . Your experience is absolutely fantastic . We need Global Consciousness to awaken , we need the flaming wings of the Phoenix of Hope to take flight in the minds of humans . It seems as though you have experienced the Divine and one can only rejoice in Enlightenment . Take care not to lose yourself in the bullshit some of these humans create to explain or ignore things that they do not understand , rise above it , bath in the Light of the Universe and extinguish the Darkness . Apologies for any repetition , rambling or opaqueness of the message just to clarify erase all thoughts , actions and words of your mental state , embrace the Divine , push forward in your search for Enlightenment and never forget all the Magic that has happened to you , and that you are capable of . Good luck fellow traveler and Soul . might I also suggest the LightGuru on YouTube