What a disgrace . <| sep |> I feel like the great Russian novelists are my future soulmates . I just don ' t know where to start , and which translation to read . Brothers Karamazov ? Crime and Punishment ? Some other obscure shit ? <| sep |> You have to appreciate that while you have done well to come this far , and it is integral that you keep it up , that he too took a lot of damage during that time and now he is likely processing that . Being the partner of someone with a mental illness is hard , you often develop a lot of anxiety in the process particularly if you are not highly insightful about the realities of the problems , it seems likely he is currently processing a lot of that . Heck , it is highly likely that he had anxiety already , it is very common for codependence to inform a lot of relationships like this and if you were already depressed it would inform some things . So continue to work on yourself . Maybe you won ' t ever get back with him , it does vary , but at the very least you need to change enough that there is no risk of slipping back into that old place and that takes time . Become the kind of person who can one day thank him for being a turning point and part of that will be giving him time and a little space , maybe chill out with the messages for him to come to term with his issues .