Aroaroaro . . . Is that your hat ? <| sep |> Second the NMMNG suggestion . Bottom line is you probably lean towards codependency , maybe picked up from your parent ' s relationship dynamic . I didn ' t realize I was even working through it at the time , but I had a therapist basically work on reprogramming that out of me after it nearly took out my marriage , as both my wife and I had very codependent relationships with one person acting as martyrgiver and the other being a the one with the issues that needed taking care of . Sample convo What would you be willing to do for your wife ? Oh , I ' d give my life for her . Why ? Why is her life worth more than yours ? Because . I don ' t know really . Wouldn ' t it be better to think , ' I would do a lot for my wife '.' This is summarized well in NMMNG , but the reality of the caretakerwhite knight persona is that they like the illusion of control and being invaluable to the person in need getting involved with someone who needs saving provides . The ego boost that comes from telling themselves they are playing the role of the good guy or hero just obscures the insecure bullshit that lies underneath . If you feel like you ' re not a valuable and attractive enough of a mate on your own , then you seek out essentially people who will have to be stuck with you because they NEED you . That might work for a bit , but then you end up with a crazy broad who resents you and has no desire to fuck you .