Punch a guy so hard his braid stands straight up . <| sep |> It ' s perfect . They have shown you , that your decision to exclude them was correct and perhaps should continue for every holiday . It shows you what they think of you , how little they appreciate anything you did for those 15 years . It shows you , how they make you physically unwell , stressed and that could have long term affects if not sorted . You are doing great . You are protecting yourself and your family , putting yourselves first , the way it should be . That fast heart beat , lets you know , the hell you ' ve been through and the freedom from that nasty behaviour is deserved . It takes time to reprogramme your mind and responses , but it does get easier . A quote that helped me , with this change People learn how to treat you based on what you a accept from them . Your niece may have fleas or perhaps she needed support with their unkindness . You got this .