I was beating myself up about not being able to keep up with my friends except I realized that the coverage of the term ' friends ' has about tripled since the last time I felt like I could actively check up on everyone in the friend group , thanks to the Internet Bpd makes me feel like if I ' m not actively keeping up with people they hate me or that the friendship no longer exists I ' ve seen it called as emotionalrelationship object impermanence ? Like babies except with interpersonal shit and I ' ve also been reminded that I ' m no longer part of the daily life of a lot of my hs friends who were the core of that initial friend group and I am just veryVeryOverwhelmed by the idea of having to keep up with all these people the idea that they ' re fine without me and that I ' m wasting my energy on indifferent people who no longer think of me warmly I ' ve bottled up so much it ' s gonna go off soon