It is . I don ' t want some physical item , I want more time with the person who is dying . I love them . When my dad died I was 20 and I still miss the ever loving fuck out of him . As three granddaughters all my grandmother wanted from us was maybe one named after her , or a great grandchild named after her . I remember telling her when I was something like 19 that I ' d do it only partially speaking out my ass haha . I told myself I ' d hold to it if I ever had a daughter . My eldest cousin just had a daughter not long ago . Not named after my grandmother even as a middle name . Years before her passing , my cousins called dibs on the crystal and silver . I was having casual afternoon tea with my grandmother when she told me , and I just kind of nodded . She then asked what I ' d want which caught me off guard because I honestly hadn ' t thought of it . Well , uh . looked around a bit , What about your teacups in that cupboard , I guess ? Little did I know , those tea cups had been in the family for ages and she was ecstatic I ' d want to take them and carry on the tradition . Love tea , so it works . Sure some were cracked , others broken , but it ' s not like I ' d sell them . Cue about a month or two before my grandmother passes , my cousins keep bugging if I ' m taking ALL the cups some were still in the cupboard , we were there to visit and help move whatever else needed arranging for my grandmother as well as pick up my mom who went to a cancer hospital with her . Yes , I ' m taking all the cups and whatever else this loving woman wants to give me . But more over , I ' m not taking her stuff off her walls and out the door fucking in front of her ! They were taking bathroom pictures as she sat there . Ultimately just glad I was able to say goodbye to her a week before she passed . I ' m the last family member with her family name , too . For what that ' s worth hahaha . I just . I can ' t stand how they treated her . I can ' t stand how my aunt boasted she ' d get their house back when both my grandparents were fine and healthy . After my dad died . Augh , I ' m sorry for the rant , friend . It ' s been so messed up .