It is unusual for a man to turn down sex on the first date . In fact , a decade ago US social psychologist experimenters demonstrated that if a presentable collegeaged woman offers sex to random male collegeage strangers passing by , the men will almost always accept . Reverse the genders , and nobody accepts . So , the women you ' re dating think that you find them unattractive , that there ' s something wrong with them or with you . I would suggest that you ask them out for coffee or lunch first , and tell them what you told us while you ' re interested in exploring a possible romantic relation I ' d like to take you out on a real date sometime soon , they should know this thing about you first . I think you ' ll find somebody who will be very pleased with that setup .