vor allem weil ich oft ohne Pausen 10 h durcharbeiten muss bzw . ' darf ' weil sonst zu viel berbleibt Klingt gefhlsmig stark illegal . <| sep |> No , Tom of Finland isn ' t the stereotypical gay . <| sep |> I suppose in somewhat of a response I ' ll link you to this story about a man who raised another man ' s child only to be fucked over by both her and the mother My stepdaughter wants her Real Dad to give her awayMy stepdaughter will be getting married on August 3 rd . The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother ' s life I say her mother because we aren ' t married , though we ' ve lived together for 10 years for the past six months . My stepdaughter graduated last December from University . I paid for her to go to college , though it was a state school , it still ran $ 40 K . She does not have a job and has been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation . I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school . From time to time her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him . Although he has not contributed a cent to her education or paid any child support , though that is my girlfriend ' s fault as c . s . was not part of the settlement , she still loves him and wants him in her life . He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her . The wedding venue holds 250 people max . I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited , you know , since I was paying for everything . They told me that was no problem and they ' d take care of it . So I let these people know they ' d be getting an invite and they should save the date . Saturday , I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming . He told me that he wasn ' t invited . He told me that he got an announcement , but not an invitation . He had it in his back seat along with probably six months of mail and showed it to me . Sure enough , it was just an announcement , and my name was nowhere on it . It had her dad ' s name and her mom ' s name and not mine . This led to a pretty big fight with my GF , as I found out that NONE of my list of twenty made the cut for the final guest list because 250 people is very tight . I was pissed , but not a hell of a lot I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended . My GF said if some people didn ' t rsvp yes , I might be able to get a couple people in . But that is an ultimate slap in the face in my opinion . So , I was boiling on Saturday . Yesterday , we had a Sunday dinner with the future inlaw ' s family and us and a surprise guest , the Real Dad . At this little dinner my stepdaughter announced that her Real Dad was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he ' d be able to give her away . This was greeted with a chorus of Oh how great and How wonderfuls . I don ' t think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected . I was shaking . I took a few seconds to gather my composure , because I honestly wasn ' t sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both . Once I was sure I ' d be able to speak I got up from my chair and said I ' d like to make a toast . I can ' t remember exactly what I said but the gist of it was thisI ' d like to make a toast . The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years . It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years . Awe , how sweet . At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom , because they have opened my eyes to something very important . Confident smiles exchanged . They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was . And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room . Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family , commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need , it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM , good for a stream of money , but not much else . As I have been replaced as host , both on the invitations and in the ceremony , I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor , Real Dad . So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen . I finished my drink . You all can let yourselves out . Is this selfish ? I ' m supposed to shell out 40 50 grand for a wedding that I can ' t invite anyone to ? That I am not a part of ? I ' m so done with this crap . I ' m done with my stepdaughter , I ' m done with my GF . I transferred the money out of our joint account last night . she has not had a job since she moved in with me This morning I called all the vendors I had written checks to for deposits to refund my money . At present it looks like I ' ll lose around 1500 , for the venue , but the other vendors have been great about refunding . TLDR You want your REAL DAD to be on the invitation , to give you away and to sit at the head table , fine , your REAL DAD can pay for everything too . EDIT The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me , but to each other . After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish , I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door , not once . Today ' s aftermath is kind of depressing for me . GF brought me Bride ' s wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining . I thumbed through it , found a page in the music section for Father Daughter dances . All of the songs were catered to Real Dad ' s taste . So I thought they were just being disrespectful , but now I ' m feeling like they never really gave a crap at all , especially since the menu included two ingredients I ' m allergic to , that actually made me laugh . Either way , I ' m glad to be done , returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out . Also , I never promised to pay for the wedding . I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small , but other than that , all I ' ve heard is how it ' s the Bride ' s family that should pay , so , let it be the bride ' s family then , aka , not me . EDIT June 9 th 115 am . Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out . They are moving in with the groom . It was very hard not to be petty with some of the belongings they took with them , but it ' s done and I switched out the locks and now it ' s time for a brew . I can ' t believe how popular this story got , but I feel good to be given support by so many . If I find out what happens with the wedding , I will let you know , but I can ' t guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out . From what I ' ve heard they are trying to scale things back and get his parents to help out . GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness . By then I had already moved money , so I guess I ' m a bigger ass than her , but I could feel it coming . That ' s all . Thanks .