So , last year was a terrible year for me . Sudden death , sudden illnesses in my family all while I was in therapy myself . I am the LL who isn ' t really affectionate . I ' d rather like , banter and such than cuddle . Anyway , when my aunt died suddenly , I did not seek out affection . Granted , affection isn ' t that helps when I ' m hurting so maybe take this all with a grain of salt . He would have given me all the affection I wanted or needed . But , that felt wrong to me . How shitty would it be to suddenly want his closeness just because I ' m suffering ? In any regard , think about the type of person who does this doesn ' t want to touch or be touched when they are fine even if this partner is hurting BUT is all about it when they are the ones in pain . Of course , sudden tragedies can change people and increase gratitude and such but I feel that normally has a shelf life .