Sire , your next miracle is supposed to happen soon , what will you perform ? a lowly being asked , his master being uninterested in anything he or she or whatever this creepycrawly thing was . I do not know , so do not annoy me . Everything has already been done . Other jerk gods have already split the sea , made the sun go away with moon and all other things of great magnitude . They even made a blind guy see and cured a leper . All I did was managing to elect some human into a high position . Doesnt that count like a miracle ? . No sire , that is politics . The corrupt always rule . I know , I will corrupt a human . That is exactly what i should do . Miracles do not have to be good things , right ? . Sire , I am not sure other Gods would look favourably on such an act . This damn thing is annoying me . I swear to myself , if it says one more annoying thing , I will beat it to near death with a cable . The wibblywobbly jelly thing crawled away and left its master to ponder about things . As for my next trick , I will maky my assistant dis . . Ugh , magic shows . I had a good following , very good . Not as good as other Gods , but good nonetheless . I flex my body and take a look at myself in the mirror . COME ON ME ! THINK ! Ideas , ideas . ideas . No , I can not get depressed ! How about this . I will get out on the surface , make the sky go red , call upon some horseman and then save the populace . Yeah ! Oooh , it is great to be me . Now , to find my phone . Hello , Industrial Technologies , how may I help you ? . Okay , right number . I fumble a bit with words and say that i would like to order some things . Oh , a premium customer he says with a grin when the person on the other end finally understood who was he dealing with Let me patch you to our . premium department . I wait a bit , patiently as always . So , what would you like to order from us ? . Do you have a horseman ? . Yeah , we have 4 horsemen . One in green , one in red , one in pure white and one in black . Standard combination . How much for the set ? . Ugh , give me a moment , I have to deal with accountant . More waiting , I am still patiently waiting . Yeah , sorry about that . The set comes for 66 divinity points . If you want them gift wrapped , it will cost 6 divinity points above that . Yeah , wrapping will be good . Can i have them wrapped in . I do not know . a shroud of mystery ? . Yes , sure . We will deliver them to the scheduled place in 48 hours . Anything else ? . Ufff , I do not know what else . I am not used to phone shopping . Something to make the sky go red , perhaps ? . I think we have some sky lights , solar lenses or , and this is something i should not mention , red fireworks . I will take those fireworks . I heard they are nifty . The person on the other end was rolling their eyes in their sockets . Can i ask for some spells as well ? A meteor or two , maybe a storm as well . Absolutely sir . Would you like a colour to these spells ? Different colours are free of charge . I will take the standard black flames for the meteors and bloody red for the storm . And . that is it . Okay , getting the price . wrapping . spells . horsemen . That will be 11235 divinity points . I curse internally as I pay up the money . This shit better be worth it . Otherwise , I will not only get demoted , I will have to work . Oh , I should hire some personnel . They can not expect me to do all the heavy lifting . A good looking pair of girls in some sexy costumes . That will get the masses fired up . And some armour for me . I curse more and more as I drain my account . The big day is here . The present is ready to be opened , two girls in great costumes are backing me up and my armour is polished to the best shape it has ever been . My bank account is more dry than Sahara . I told her she should drink more water , it is not good for her skin . I spread my arms into some pose I practiced and ask the girls about their opinion . They like it , so I nod a few times and open the package . 4 horsemen rode out from under a shroud of mystery , appearing as if from nowhere . The red one had all of his veins bulged and looked permanently angry . The white one was armed to the teeth . The green one was always on the verge of throwing up . And the black one was just skin and bones , sickly as well . They looked terrifying . When I fired the fireworks , the entire world was engulfed with red and I snuck out to stand amazingly in front of the scared crowd . This is it , this is the time when I , the almighty , will win a lot of points . The crowd looked at me as i opened my hands in prepared gesture and my girls backed me up . The people were scared even more . I do not get it . The girls are wearing skimpy outfits , charm all men with their bodies and i am wearing a black armour . All the fantasy freaks love this . As I do another flashy pose to unleash one of my meteors . I fumble a bit . The meteor spell DID trigger just fine , but it sort of destroyed a church . Yikes . that is coming off of somebodies bank account . Well , I can not stop now under any circumstance , so while some people are already on their knees , i have an ace in my sleaves . I shake my fist against the heaven , and rain started to fall . People were fainting , the rest prayed to me that I do not kill them . I looked at my bank account and saw 9 digits . Whoa whoa whoa . This is insane . I smile at the people with my best smile and go back to my lair . Few years later , and I have the hottest religion by now . I just do not understand why does it look so sinister .