Snapshots 1 . This Post , could not autoarchive click to resubmit it ! , , run 1 could not autoarchive click to resubmit it ! I am a bot . rSnapshillBot messagecompose ? torSnapshillBot <| sep |> There is no cycle to break . You painted a mental picture of yourself meditating but that is not the reality currently . See yourself as you are instead of trying to be what you see yourself as . It is nothing wrong that depression is here , that the ego has inflated . Anything you do out of resistance , out of depression , will feed off of negativity and make the problem worse like putting out a fire with fuel . Just be nonjudgmentally watchful of yourself . Let yourself make reckless decisions they are anyway unimportant in the grand scheme but observe yourself carefully as you do . Notice each thought , each breath , each lift of the finger , each blink of the eye . In meditation , how you do something is more important than what you do .