If I see masterbate again , I think I ' ll lose my mind . Honestly , this is projecting , and a situation where one on reads into something what they want to read . And a very strange feeling of being a surrogate in an argument . It is your right and prerogative to say no not want sexWhat you are expressing is resentment . It is the same on both sides , but you are clearly not reading many of the posts here , in the depth that they are expressed . There is a big difference between ideal and compromise . And ideally , and this is a big generalization , many HLs would probably accept 12 x a week of quality sex . That is , sex with a partner who as equally invested in the act , and has either empathy or some understanding of the importance of that act of sexual intimacy as an expression of the HLs love toward their partner . That this act is deeply integral to their personal selves , is their language , and is how they connect to their partners to feel close to them , and gasp loved . I am assuming when you mentioned quality , you understand the above in all its glorious reciprocity . And what you are reading here is people who have gone months and years without any of this . That is not to mention all times they have attempted to raise the issue to find some sort of compromise , only to be shut down . So you are really looking to start a fight where there is none . And in a way , how dare you ? How dare you come in here and misrepresent the general consensus , and simply trivialize the compromise that so many of HLs and they also recognize their faults , and choice to remain in this situation make ? If years of living with the pain of rejection yes , to a HL rejecting the act of sex is reject the person is not a sacrifice as ridiculous as it can be , beyond a compromise , then I am not sure what is . And it is the HLs right and prerogative to decide one day , that they ' ve had enough , that it is no longer enough for them and they do not want to live the rest of their lives feeling like this . We all recognize that there is a vast combination of factors that lead to a dead bedroom , including communication issuesbreakdown and other underlying issues and that both partners have contributed to the situation in their own way . Sex is not something that is promised at each advance , so by saying no you aren ' t rejecting the person , only the act of sex . if you expect to have children , then yes it is if you are establishing your position as a partner and SO who expects full commitment , including fidelity and monogamy , then yes it is anyone for whom sex is important is not signing up for celibacy if you expect to keep the foundation of your relationship strong with someone to whom sex is an important need and integral to the their being , then yes it isSheesh , even with religion preaching and instilling very strange ideals about sex in marriages , the bible makes provisions for this . But , keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better however , I take great offense . If that ' s how you really see sex , then it shouldn ' t matter who we have sex with , right ? Honestly , I could walk out the door right now , and have myself some mindblowing quality sex with a stranger but I don ' t because commitment and all the other entanglements . So , yes it bothers me , that you can so flippantly write it off like that . It ' s just another blaming and shaming tactic which does nothing to assist in bridging that gap between HL and LL partners . You are not contributing positive dialog or insight . If you had instead come in here and expressed the same sentimentno one would begrudge you for feeling the way that youwithout being antagonistic , rather than raise hackles and ire , you might have instead contributed some insight that could be helpful . In fact , you could have anonymously helped someone in here be it HL or LL , by coming in here being open , and empathetic and having a willingness to understand and exchange feelings and ideas . But , you do you .