Male perspective hereFirst , it ' s awesome to hear how much you care about what ' s happening with him , yourself , and as a couple . I love it when people genuinely consider their SO without blaming X and moving on . So relationships are extremely complicated creatures . Right ? Especially in the beginning when no one understands each other . And that is 90 % of your problems right now , I ' m afraid . Cherish that he shared his desires with you . But understand that he could be anywhere on the spectrum of experience with his fantasies . Chances are he ' s just began exploring his fantasies and would be impossible for him to articulate to another human being exactly WHAT arouses him about that fantasy . There ' s usually a single , simple component within that fantasy that has nothing to do with the fantasy at all . I have a lot of things I find arousing but can ' t quite figure out what exactly it is about the situation I find arousing . Let alone put into words for other people . I will say also , the if you ' re not confident in yourself , which you said you are very insecure , that certainly comes across while role playing and is an immediate turn off . You both sound like you have a lot of self confidence issues to get through . Luckily , it sounds like he ' s a caring guy and you sound like you care as well . That ' s well over half the battle . The rest will be communication and objectivity . Lots of sympathy and reassurance as well . MY BEST ADVICEKeep things SUPER simple in the beginning . He ' s learning his desires and you ' re working on yourself , I ' m assuming . This will strengthen yourselves and your relationship . Then you can introduce little , NEW things here and there over time . Also , don ' t read ANYTHING into his inability to get off from head or losing an erection . Disregard what you ' re hearing so far from other women on here . From a man , this is quite common . ESPECIALLY when you ' re trying new things and it didn ' t work out . Frustration is a libido killer . He ' s frustrated at himself , mostly , that he can ' t convey to you what he ' s seeking . And there have been plenty of times where I ' ve told my wife that I ' m not going to cum . Luckily we ' re much further along in our relationship and don ' t take offense when it happens . Just like women , men are emotional too and effected by the moment . I ' m a guy that needs foreplay to get in the mood . Then I ' m good to go . But if my wife comes into the room and just starts blowing me , I ' ll get hard , certainly , but the chances of me finishing are slim to none . I use these moments to get myself in the mood by shifting the attention to her at some point . Then watching her get aroused puts me in the mood where I can get off . It ' s possible he ' s the same . So DON ' T WORRY ! So take your time , keep working on it , and let yourself relax . The biggest turn on for a lot of men is to know they ' ve turned on their SO . That ' s super hot for me .