S 는 행위 자 ( Actor , Doer ) 이 고 문장 내 에서 가장 중요 한 단어 이 다 . 따라서 동사 는 행위 성 이 약한 Be , have 또는 피동태 를 피하 고 Action Verb 또는 능동태 가 적합 하 다 . 옆 문장 구조식 은 SV 의 능동 적 행위 를 시각 화 하 기 위하 여 OOC 를 향한 날카로운 화살 로 표현 하 였 다 . 5 - 1 행위 자 ( Doer ) 를 찾 아 주어 로 배치 한 SV + O 문장 으로 돌 아 간다 . 주절 과 종속절 의 주어 ( 행위 자 ) 가 일치 하 면 하나 를 생략 한다 . Bad : Before going on vocation , the bills need to be paid . Better : Before going on the vocation , he need to pay the bills . Bad : After cutting the grass , the garden was weeded . Better : After cutting the grass , he weeded the garden . Bad : Without having a recipe , the birthday cake was never made . Better : Without having a receipt , I could not make the birthday cake Bad : To finish off the meal , the desserts were brought out from the kitchen . Better : the server brought the desserts out from the kitchen to finish off the meal . Bad : After reading the original study , the article remains unconvincing . Better : After reading the original study , I find the article unconvincing . 5 - 2 주어 는 주인 이 므로 수동태 ( Passive ) 를 능동태 ( Active ) 로 바꾼다 Bad : A decision was reached to postpone the vote . Better : The committee decided to postpone the vote . Bad : My car is borrowed every Saturday by Gina Better : Gina borrows by car every Saturday . Bad : The test was passed by the student Better : The student passed the test Bad : The meeting was led by the president Better : The president led the meeting Bad : The play was cancelled by the director Better : The director cancelled the play Bad : The alien remains were lost by the government . The car was wrecked . Better : The government lost the alien remains . I wrecked the car . 5 - 3 단 , 행위 를 당하 는 자 가 행위 자 보다 압도 적 으로 중요 한 경우 는 피동태 를 사용 할 수 있 다 . No problem : President Clinton was heckled by an unidentified comedian posing as a journalist . 5 - 4 의미 가 약한 동사 ( Be , have 둥사 ) 를 행위 동사 ( Action Verb ) 로 대체 한다 . Bad ( Be 동사 남용 ) : One difference between television news reporting and the coverage provided by newspapers is the time factor between the actual happening of an event and the time it takes to be reported . The problem is that instantaneous coverage is physically impossible for newspapers . Better : Television news reporting differs from that of newspapers in that television , unlike newspapers , can provide instantaneous coverage of events as they happen . Bad : The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem . How to locate and correct this problem : Locate weak verbs by circling all of the " to be " and " have " verbs in your paper . Correct weak verbs by omitting them and replacing them with a more meaningful verb . Notice that you will need to add information as you specify the nature of the action . Answer the question : " What does the subject really do ? " Better : The aliens improve our ecosystem 5 - 4 지칭 이 불분명 한 대명사 의 사용 을 피한다 . “ This , that , these , those , he , she , it , they , we ” 등 은 앞 에 이미 나온 무엇 을 가리키 는지 혼동 이 생기 는 것 을 피한다 . Bad : My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey , even though he didn ' t like him very much . Better : My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey , even though Jake doesn ’ t like Trey very much Bad ( unclear pronoun reference ) : Larissa worked in a national forest last summer , which may be her career choice . Better : Larissa worked in a national forest last summer ; forest management may be her career choice . Bad : American universities are tightening budgets by hiring temporary contract employees as teachers instead of hiring new , full time faculty . This has prompted them to join unions as a way of protecting job security and benefit . Better : American universities are tightening budgets by hiring temporary contract employees as teachers instead of hiring new , full time faculty . This trend has prompted many full - time faculty members to join unions as a way of protecting job security and benefit . Unclear ( unclear pronoun reference ) : With the spread of globalized capitalism , American universities increasingly follow a corporate fiscal model , tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as teachers . This has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits . Clearer : With the spread of globalized capitalism , American universities increasingly follow a corporate fiscal model , tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as teachers . This trend has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits . Unclear ( unclear pronoun reference ) : Larissa worked in a national forest last summer , which may be her career choice . Clearer : Larissa worked in a national forest last summer ; forest management may be her career choice . 5 - 5 중복 부정 을 피한다 Bad : Less attention is paid to commercials that lack human interest stories than to other kinds of commercials . Better : People pay more attention to commercials with human interest stories than to other kinds of commercials . 5 - 6 " There is / are " 구 를 가급적 피한다 Wrong : There are several advantages to genetic screening . ( 7 words ) Better : Genetic screening presents several advantages . ( 5 words ) Wrong : There has been a lot of research done to determine its causes . Better : A lot of research has been done to determine its causes . ( 11 wds ) Best : Much research has been done to determine its causes . ( 9 wds ) Wrong : There were many factors that affected this situation . ( 8 wds ) Better : There were Many factors that affected this situation . ( 5 wds ) NOTE : many times you can delete “ there is + that or which ” Wrong : There is one index that provides the correct information . ( 9 words ) Better : There is one index that provides the correct information . ( 6 words ) Wrong : There are several steps which I plan to complete . ( 9 words ) Better : I plan to complete several steps . ( 6 words ) 5 - 7 " It is / was " 문장 을 가급적 피한다 Wrong : It is recommended that we complete more research . ( 8 words ) Better : We should complete more research . ( 5 words ) We recommend that we complete more research . ( 7 words ) Wrong : It is our goal to serve the university community . ( 9 words ) Better : Our goal is to serve the university community . ( 8 words )