I noticed a change in my birth control . I tanked for about three years in many waysdepression , anxiety , weight and sex drive . I never put it together that it may have been my birth control , honestly , until a Danish study came out , talking about how birth control can affect you emotionally . I ' ve been off of it three months and already feel my sex drive coming back . <| sep |> Getting ready for another post are we ? <| sep |> Oh god , that is too much for anyone to take . I haven ' t lost a spouse but I did lose a child so I can maybe help by explaining grief stuff . Not everyone grieves the same so this advice may vary in order or maybe you won ' t go through parts of it 1 . It is normal to experience very physical pain in your chest and your body may make you make wailing or moaning sounds even when you aren ' t feeling too upset . This is hard but normal . Usually at night . 2 . A temporary 3 month PTSD is common after a death , you may flinch , gasp , cry out , and feel panicky at tiny little sounds such as the furnace turning on , cars honking , someone driving by too fast , being a passenger in a car , etc . Also intense flashbacks reliving memories and you will be competent checked out during these and unable to get out of them sometimes . 3 . Usually there is a period of shock right after a loved one dies . You may feel blank or spaced out most of the time with periods of crying and outburststhoughts of denial . Can last days to a month or more . Usually during this stage the grieving person will say they are feeling okay or doing okay to others , not knowing the hard part hasn ' t hit yet , so others may be confused when later on you are worse off . 4 . There will be funeral arrangements to do . If a burial , an outfit picked out is needed , a picture for makeup examples . There isn ' t a big rush unless you are doing a viewing , in that case sooner is better . You have the right to decide on embalming , how the person is laid in the casket , who attends and who is banned , and so on . Don ' t let the funeral staff try to push you to do anything other than what you want . I ' m not sure how cremation goes . It is expensive and especially gravestones , which take a long time to get ours took over a year . Sometimes if the ground is too frozen in winter they may need to do a burial in spring . The hospital and funeral home can help out a lot with questions . 5 . After the shock wears off , you will need some time off work . Save your time off for then if you can aside from the immediate near future of course . That is the really hard crash and you will need help for caring for your little one . 6 . People are going to say really stupid shit . Stuff like they ' re in a better place , try to make the death a good thing or go off about how sad they are to you when they barely knew your spouse , or how you need to stay strong for your child and other useless vomit . They mean well , they just don ' t know . Also some will vanish , others will feed off the situation for attention , some will prey on your vulnerability , so trust your instincts right now . Grief can lasts months and years and that is okay and not abnormal , it doesn ' t always last that long though . Grief is a thing that occurs TO you just like a flu or illness , and needs to run its course . It isn ' t a choice . Hugs and I am so very sorry that your wife has died . This is in no way your fault . It is okay to be mad at them . It is okay to fall apart .