I like the idea that things get better , and they can , if you put in the effort to make them better . You can ' t be a lazy piece of shit and expect the world to be awesome just for you . You have to go out and make it awesome . I want to do something meaningful with my life , but I have no idea what . I ' m working a pretty dead end job that I ' m getting pretty tired of working already . I ' ve taken more drug tests than probably anyone you ' ve ever met , and if I have it my way I ' m not taking another one unless I ' m forced to . So that gets rid of about 95 % of the jobs that pay a living wage . I haven ' t gone to school for anything , and I haven ' t put in more than 2 years at any job so I have little experience in the work force in the eyes of most employers , which is bad for a person in their late 20 ' s . I need to figure out a way to make money that isn ' t just selling my time . It seems everywhere I go I work harder than anyeveryone else I work with . I had one boss who recognized it and appreciated it , but I was rewarded with having to pick up everyone else ' s slack . It seems to be that way everywhere I go , but most people don ' t even recognize it , let alone acknowledge it . I ' m tired of it . I ' m not going to stop doing it because I need to eat , ya know ? . But it ' s weighing me down every day , and has been for a long time . I ' d love to start my own business , but I have no idea what to do . I ' m not particularly fond of any type of work people want tohave to pay for . I don ' t have any real talents . I ' m not exceptionally good looking and I ' m out of shape , so my modeling career is out the window . I don ' t know what I ' m doing . I don ' t think I ever have . I ' ve got a long and checkered past that I can ' t go into too much detail about here , but I ' ve always been left to just figure shit out on my own , my whole life . I ' ve pretty much always done whatever I wanted , and I don ' t know how to break the habit . Especially by myself .