James was a bit of a prick in high school , but he mellowed outHow do you know he mellowed out ? We have four friends who are total dicks . Then , years later , one of these total dicks tells Harry that James was a good guy . And about the time this total dick tells Harry that , we over hear him and other total dick sounding kind of like total dicks . In the only objective moment tied to James ' s character , we hear Lupin and Sirius sounding a little dickish . Everything else we view through a biased observer , but for that one limited omniscient moment . Oh and let ' s not forget one of the total dicks becomes a serious death eater and helps bring Voldemort back . <| sep |> I have mixed feelings about this . On one hand , I would want to know the truth , if for no other reason than feeling like you are unlovable is seriously damaging to your psyche . Having felt like this for years , and having it recently reinforced , it is one of the driving factors in my depression and anxiety . Hearing the opposite , would , in a way , be healing . That being said however With the amount of time that passed , there was already a sense of closure . Real or not , things had been processed , peace had been made , and the depression had subsidedreturned to a manageable level . Learning something new about the situation brings you back to square one . It rips open a healed wound and things do not tend to heal as easily the second time around . Had this been brought up relatively close to when the breakup occurred it would have had a much different impact . Personally , I feel like this is something that Karen should have told him . He probably has a lot of questions which you can ' t answer , he is probably embarrassed his best friend lied to him for years , and he is probably questioning your motives in telling him the road to hell is paved with good intentions . He is going to need time . Lots of time . This is a HUGE revelation . It is going to need a lot of processing , from a lot of angles , multiple times . The fact that he is writing songs means that he is processing and moving forward . You should be far more worried if he wasn ' t writing as that would mean that he is stalled and spiraling . He is going to need space . He is going to need silence . You want to be there for him completely understandable ! but he KNOWS that you ' re there for him . You have told him that , multiple times , which is going to begin to have the opposite effect . It will begin to feel overwhelming and pushy and could potentially drive him away . Let him come to you . Believe me , I know this is easier said than done ! You care , you want him to be OK , you want him to know how special he is , you want him to know that he is worth it , that he is loved . But , you can ' t do this for him . Is it selfish of him to cut contact with you ? Sure , but he NEEDS to be selfish right now , for his own wellbeing and he NEEDS you to understand that . Right now , you are something that he can ' t afford to spend energy on . That probably sounds harsh , it isn ' t meant to , he just needs to focus on himself at this time .