Nobody south of 2000 should go anywhere near the French or Caro . This place has an obsession with both at times , and it ' s really not healthy . Show me a 1400 playing the French and I ' ll show you a guy who ' ll still be 1400 a year from now . I went from 1400 to 1800 in about a year and a half playing just the French . <| sep |> Mazzone still going to try to screen to Kirk in the injury tent . <| sep |> I don ' t think people will buy natural man . The straight line persuasion could be different . but good luck <| sep |> This is phenomenal . I wish more people had a chance to read it . I think you could really do something with this story if you were ever inclined to submit it somewhere . There are a few logic gaps you might want to work out first , though . Does James remember the hundreds of times he ' s relived that 27 minute loop ? If so , why has he never noticed ? In skipping through parallel universes is it possible other details could change every time James goes back into the house as a hint to readers the house changes slightly his grandparents are slightly different etc . ? Could you potentially hint a bit more at the idea of James constantly being on the verge of running into the street ? Like I said , though , this is great . Keep it up !