Your mom and sister clearly don ' t know how to deal with the normal , adult , successful person you ' ve become . It sounds like they ' ve always wanted to hold something over your head you ' re a loser , etc . and now that they don ' t actually have anything , they ' re gaslighting you . You don ' t just make a lastminute Thanksgiving that food takes hours to cook ! They deliberately excluded you and then act like you ' re ignoring them , which is awful of them to do . If I were you , I ' d gradually lessen contact until you are no contact . You ' re an adult and your own person you and your girlfriendfiance can make your chosen family now . It is hard to accept that your family is jealous and manipulative , but there are other people in the world who care about you and want to lift you up rather than tear you down . Focus on your friends and future wife .