I paid with a Visa <| sep |> Learned a lot from reading this <| sep |> I think OBJ is the only real answer for us . <| sep |> Honestly , even if he does actually like you , you sound way way way too attached . You have rearranged your life for this dude for years , and as soon as he admitted to liking you you started talking about getting married and overloaded your feelings . That ' s a lot of pressure to put onto somebody . A lot of people are saying you should keep trying but I think doing so is doing a disservice to the statement ' s that tristan has already said , namely that he doesn ' t think it ' s a good idea for you two to date and that he doesn ' t think you would be a good fit . Your investment in Tristan sounds unhealthy . You have spent years pining over this guy and this is the sort of relationship that will be an edge in all of your future relationships if you let it continue . The best thing for you and tristan to do is to have some space . It almost sounds like you ' ve put aspects of your life on the backburner for him and regardless of whether you get together or not , you can ' t keep doing that . It ' s unhealthy and damaging to be this wrapped around another person .