It ' s already been stated in another post , but it ' s worth mentioning to reinforce the idea . In my experience , my lack of selfconfidence stemmed from my appearance and the notion that no one would be attracted to me . After my first relationship , I knew I had the looks and personality to at least attract someone . After that , I worked on myself and I think the most important things that helped gain confidence were the following GYM , STYLE , HOBBIES . Lifting weights helps you reach your peak physical condition and once you see yourself transform , the habit enables itself . Style was also important to change how you see yourself . You know that feeling after a good haircut ? Pair that with fitted clothing and the compliments just begin to flow in causing your confidence to spike again . Finally , your hobbies will help you maintain that confidence in social environments . When you know something well , you typically have the confidence to back it up and you enjoy doing so because you feel knowledgeable and in control . Alcohol also helps in social settings like parties or dinners as it can help bring confidence to the fore without much conscious effort .