If you ' re wearing Vetements they probably think you ' re just a rich fashion victim <| sep |> Throwaway . So when I was in my early 20 ' s I had girls after me all the time . Six foot , weighed in at about 98 kg , national competitor in multiple martial arts . I was ripped and confident as all hell , complete with being pretty well endowed not a brag , it ' s relevant later . So I ' d get a good amount of female attention and that was nice . Many hookups and such . It was a bit annoying when I was in a relationship because way more girls than you ' d think don ' t give a fuck if you ' re taken , even if your partner is standing right next to you . That ' s right . being creepy and disrespectful isn ' t just a guy thing ! But honestly , for the most part the perks outweighed the bad apples . Well , they did . So the first time it happened I don ' t even remember . I was at a bar with some friends , then I was in some girls bed the next afternoon feeling like I ' d been hit by a truck , with plenty of evidence that there ' s been sexual activity . I ' d had all of two drinks and even when I drank heavily I never blacked out and I never got hangovers . Checked with friends , they confirmed I hadn ' t drink a lot and had just disappeared . I assume I was drugged . My girlfriend found out , because I told her . I felt really violated and upset . figured that as a girl she would understand . Nope , dumped on the spot for cheating . Wallowed about for a while , eventually convinced myself I ' d just drunk more than I intended and made a dumb mistake that I needed to live with . But that ' s a lie and I know it . The rest I do remember . I went out drinking , some girls come up to me and one would hit on me . Normally if I ' m honest it did not take a lot to get me back to a girls place . if you were hot and willing I was good to go , but the previous experience had really shook me and I just wasn ' t interested . But they weren ' t really that interested in the whole no thing , so they just kept buying shots and insisting I do them with them for fun . Free booze so why not right ? I kept a careful eye on my drinks as I was now quite paranoid about drugs but idiot me forgot that alcohol is a drug . So one of the girls helps me home , then climbs into bed with me . This time I really did write it off as a drunken mistake , because I was drunk , even though I didn ' t really want to have sex . plus she was gone in the morning so who cares right ? A week later it happened again . This time when I got home I said no . Very clearly slurred and drunken but whatever . But I was paralytic drunk so that did nothing and again , sex . I may not blackout when I drink a lot but I certainly lose a lot of motor control and coordination . At this point I think I ' m going crazy . This was 15 years ago , nobody gave a shit about men being assaulted back then . And I was hugely strong , spending my time competing in full contact martial arts . How was it possible and even if it was , how did it keep happening ? Every conversation I had with myself ended with stop fucking girls then pretending you didn ' t want to , what ' s wrong with you ? . So then I found out . Some of the girls who ' d slept with me consensually had let friends know I was well endowed with a great body , which had led to a group of girls wanting to try me out . They also apparently found that when I got crazy drunk I would get hard and stay that way for a fair while if you still think I ' m bragging let me just add in here that this was NOT how my dick behaved when I was sober enough to actually move . . And once a few had given it a go more wanted to . I was apparently a muscled up human dildo that girls were lining up to try whether I liked it or not . Take a moment and think about how that would make you feel . the answer is not good . Now comes the big thing . What really hurt . How were they doing this ? Well of course they initially tried the usually successful strategy of just making it known they wanted to have sex . if you ' re an attractive girl this usually works . But after my blackout incident I didn ' t want to have sex , with anyone . So they went to my friends . My friends who had seen how down I was lately and figured the only solution was pussy . My friends who had way more trouble with girls than I and looked at me like I was insane when I once tried to explain to them that I thought I ' d been drugged and raped . My friends who would start drinking with me , then deliberately leave me with these girls so I could get laid and finally cheer the fuck up already . My friends who looked stunned when I questioned them about how girls kept dragging me out of bars when I was there with them , before explaining how they were helping me . Who looked at me like I was insane when I tried to explain that this help was making me hate myself . I quit drinking and those friends in the same instant , even though I know that they genuinely didn ' t understand that they ' d done anything wrong . But it is what it is . Overall the experience was . eye opening . I think the worst thing wasn ' t the rape . I got drunk while some girls bounced on my dick , nobody hurt me like those who suffer a violent rape . But the overwhelming conflict that I ' d been a victim , while the entire world agreed that it wasn ' t possible for me to be ? That was rough . Anyway . That ' s me . Long term I ' m mostly fine . I still don ' t drink though . Once awareness for male victims of sexual assault became a thing , especially the growing acceptance that women can assault men , I came to peace with most of it . For me . Imagine someone punched you in the face , breaking your nose . It sucks , it hurts , but it heals . and that person is charged for assaulting you and punished . You might still end up a little more paranoid about being hit but at least justice is served and society is on your side . That ' s how I feel today . Back then , I felt like everyone wanted to know why I wasn ' t happy that my nose was broken .