Good luck with that . Better solution for you is to move off shitty 2 . 4 Ghz wifi and onto 5 Ghz where you ' ve got a load more usable channels <| sep |> Ahhhhhh . Jack sank into his comfortable armchair . The fire crackled in the hearth , its warmth diffusing around the room gently . Putting his feet up on a stool , he closed his eyes , took a sip of tea , and relaxed . It had been a hell of a day . Knock . Knock . Knock The front door rattled under a steady barrage of blows . Jack cracked an eye open and sighed . After all that nonsense earlier , he just wanted a nap . Was that too much to ask ? He shuffled to the door of his cottage , unbolted the door and peered out at his unwelcome visitor . What ? he snapped , causing the knight at the door to stumble back . Jack glared at the figure . He seemed to be part of that castle he ' d wandered through . Mmy liege . the knight dropped to one knee with a clank . You must come and . I am no one ' s liege , matey . Jack snorted at this pointless interruption . And I am going nowhere . He noticed the knight staring at his slippers , and gave his toes a wiggle , causing the pink bunny ears to flop back and forth . Tearing his eyes away from Jack ' s footwear , the knight spoke again . Sire , by right of conquest , you are the new king . You must come to the castle . No I musn ' t . I am noone ' s king . I just wanted to get home , and I succeeded . Now go away . With that , Jack slammed the door shut , and returned to his chair for a snooze . Captain Farrell trudged towards the small encampment of Royal Guard . Well ? Bartholemew the Wise , Wizard of the northern woods and oddjob wise man , asked the knight . He ' s not coming . Sir Farrell answered with a sigh . He doesn ' t want to be king . Doesn ' t want to be king ? Doesn ' t want to be king ? !? The wizard of the northern woods waved his arms , causing several sparks to flicker in the air . Said he wanted to get home , and that ' s it . All the . the knight waved his arms in the direction of the city . conquering business was a side issue . Look Bart , can ' t we just let the nobles , you know , sort themselves out ? The wizard snorted . And , pray tell me , who would you choose to be king that would not plunge us into horrific civil war ? Sir Farrell ' s answer died on his lips , and he nodded slowly . The wizard had a point . That ' s why we have Hero Kings . Bartholomew stared at the cottage . Outsider kings are . simpler for all . He narrowed his eyes . This had not been the first reluctant king he had met . No , if the King won ' t come to the castle . he cracked his knuckles and flung his arms wide in the traditional casting pose . Jack awoke to a low humming sound echoing from the cottage walls . Puzzled , he glanced through the window and watched a tree slowly walk past . Wait , trees don ' t walk . He heaved himself from his chair and walked to the window . Outside , he found his cottage flanked by the Royal Guard , marching quietly . Opening the window , he glanced down . His house , hovering a few inches above the ground , was meandering down the road back towards that blasted castle . Looking up , he locked eyes with that infernal wizard who ' d given him those terrible directions home . The wizard grinned at him and launched into a series of complex charades , indicating in no uncertain terms that his crowning as king was not up for debate . Jack glared at him and shut the window . Poxy wizards and their schemes . He shuffled slowly back to his chair , and sank into its welcoming folds . His kingship could wait until after he ' d had a nap .