Wow you guys are horrible people . As someone who carries , we are not supposed to expect anything from the person being carried other than not dying or causing the group to wipe . Even then kicking the person after he used his keystone is a dick move . The word carry loses it ' s meaning otherwise . <| sep |> You could consider it as a rough translation to Westron of what the orc said in Orkish . <| sep |> Spread everyone out and QB Draw this bitch in . <| sep |> Have you read More Than Two ? You can check out www . morethantwo . com to get an idea of whether you connect with the writers , but the book has a lot more . Particularly a wealth of examples and questions to ask yourself and other recommended reading . You don ' t mention whether you are in a relationship or not right now if you are , you should loop your partner in sooner rather than later . I say this because it seems important to you that these feelings you have are okay to feel and express that even if you choose to be in a mono relationship , you don ' t want to pretend to be a mono person . You both have some work to do figuring out what will become of the relationship . If you ' re single , of course , it ' s easier . Invest some time in yourself and what you want out of life and relationships . True , you can ' t experience being in a relationship when you aren ' t , but you can learn a lot from other people ' s experiences . Other than books and forums like this one , check meetup . com andor maybe fetlife , if you ' re kink friendly and OK that it runs a bit more nonmono than poly in most areas and see if there are poly social events in your area where you can make friends .