So bernie can still win ? !?!?!? Excitement intensifies <| sep |> I think he , means just married . <| sep |> sometime earlier today there was a post about it . <| sep |> I ' ve probably watched more Kirk Cousins football than anyone else on the planet , provided you don ' t count his time at Michigan State or any football related activity that may have preceded it . This pretty much makes me an expert . I ' ve watched Kirk develop pocket presence and a better understanding of dynamics with receivers . I ' ve watched him adjust the offense presnap and read defenses on the fly . I ' ve learned a lot about Kirk Cousins ' game , and there ' s one thing that I can tell you for sure . Without a shadow of a doubt . Without a moment ' s hesitation . Without reserve . Kirk Cousins does not cheat on his wife . Now , you might know the NFL as the land of balls , and whistles , and referees , and football beer , but there ' s also another side to the league . A side that they don ' t show you on ABC broadcasts . This mostly means ESPN broadcasts , because ABC is a mostly different branch of Disney that generally doesn ' t show football games . There is also the NFL Network channel . I don ' t know who is responsible for that , but I don ' t think it is ABC , or ESPN for that matter . The point remains . There are things happening in the NFL that you don ' t know about , and some of those things cast a shadow . And let ' s be honest here , some of those shadows are long and threatening , and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind . Now that I ' ve set the scene , I will keep doing other things . The NFL is a moral danger zone , and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience . The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended bender or a highly protracted pisser are innumerable . They also have a tendency to get a lot of brain injuries . I ' ll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you . So , when I tell you that Kirk Cousins doesn ' t cheat on his wife , that ' s not something that you can just brush off . It ' s not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Arts Culture section of the Washington Post . In fact , you won ' t find it in any section of any piece of print media or digital media that uses print by way of font , in the sense that print is a metaphorbut at once also wholly tangible that has an ampersand . It just doesn ' t exist , okay ? Kirk Cousins doesn ' t cheat on his wife and there is nothing that you can do about it . If you are the opposing team and you want to throw Kirk Cousins off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive strippers , or even other ladies that are not strippers but who are also whores and tend to act in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two , even if you hire those types of ladies to throw Kirk Cousins off his game through the temptations of late night sex and parties , you would be an idiot . You ' d also be wasting your money , because I already told you that Kirk Cousins does not cheat on his wife . By now , it ' s pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional athletes cheat on their wives . It ' s something of a professional hazard . Once you ' ve achieved that type of wealth , status , and recognition , the opportunities to cheat on your wife increase by a factor of a lot . Not many people can resist that temptation . Kirk Cousins is different . He doesn ' t cheat on his wife . Take that to the bank . I want to take you back a little bit , to a time that was earlier in my life , and also presumably earlier in your life . If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kirk and his life , let ' s also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life . So , we ' ve traveled back to this earlier period , and we ' re looking at the dynamics of football . The year is Brett Favre ' s last with the Vikings . In the year prior , Mr . Favre almost went to the Super Bowl . But in the current year , Brett Favre is having trouble , and he ' s playing his worst football in decades . The reason is clear . Mr . Favre sent pictures of his penis to a lady named Jenn Sterger . Mr . Favre was cheating on his wife . Kirk Cousins would never do that . The establishment of a connection between cheating on your wife while an NFL quarterback and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance or in Mr . Favre ' s case , the Hall of Fame has been established . The inverse is also true . Not cheating on your wife can help you win the championship . Not cheating on your wife can keep your head clear in the crucial game time decisions that require every ounce of cognitive ability that your brain zone can muster . Not cheating on your wife helps you build NFL success and also a nurturing , beautiful family . Kirk Cousins does not cheat on his wife .