I ' m assuming that ' s a breed of dog ? Totally adorable ! <| sep |> Oh alright , it ' s fine . just clone it and keep a clone for free <| sep |> Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin <| sep |> Die sollten mehr bei rall posten , wie es rthedonald immer gemacht hat . Dann htten sie vielleicht auch ne Chance . <| sep |> Thank you so much for the heartwarming words , I really appreciate it . I ' m aware it may lead to depression . What I meant is that what I ' m going through isn ' t just stress . I do have an amazing support network indeed . Without them I would ' ve never made it this far . I ' m trying to get away . Not only because of this , but I can ' t continue like this anymore . I ' m sick of having them decide ly life for me . I only went to med school to make them proud . I ' ve told them since years ago that I hated it . They ignored it and said I ' ll get used to it and come to like it . Yeah exactly . 2 years later it made me suicidal , because I didn ' t even know why I was even alive anymore . I didn ' t feel alive . I was just going passively with the flow . Then I realised that I needed to follow my dreams , and to start my life anew and get away from this environment as soon as possible , in order to heal . But then , my parents got in the way again , opposing the idea of me dropping out of med school and going to the US . I spent 4 months just convincing them . But they still wouldn ' t allow me to even start preparing for the SAT or writing my college applications now before summer holidays . That means I ' d have to endure two more years of med school for no reason . And as my family can ' t afford to pay US colleges tuition fees , I have to get a fullride scholarship , so I ' m aiming for the top 25 schools . And my parents made it clear that if I failed to get a full scholarship , I ' ll be continuing studying medicine . So I could really end up stuch in here forever . I honestly don ' t know if I ' d make it that far . After I decided to follow my dreams and got them to acknowledge them , and solved my problems with mom , I thought I finally got rid of this depression . But this past week I can feel it coming back , I can feel the suicidal ideations again . I don ' t get why I have to wait 2 years . Or why I have to study medicine at all . I hate it . I despise it . Even if I didn ' t get into US schools I ' m gonna drop out . I don ' t wanna stay here any longer . I ' m sick of having them control every decision in my life . I ' m sick of having to obediently listen to them just to be a good child . I want to live my life . I want to persue my dreams . My waiting 2 more years is just delaying it for no reason . I don ' t get it . During this time , I could be studying for the SAT , writing my essays , learning C and working on personal projects , these things that would benefit me in the future and that I find more interesting , instead of wasting my time and my effort here in med school on things that I have no desire to learn and that I ' d just throw away as soon as I drop out . I don ' t get why I have to wait and endure this pain for two more years . I was already having a hard time convincing myself that I can make my dream come true and it isn ' t hopeless , now I also have to deal with the mental burden and remainung trauma of being in med school and endure it for two more years , plus actually having to work so that I don ' t fail my exams because my parents keep reminding me that I shouldn ' t fail my exams so that I have enough free time in summer to study for the SAT . I don ' t give a fuck about those exams . why are they and the SAT have to be related ? ! Isn ' t it better if I start preparing for it now ? ! I don ' t get why they wouldn ' t allow me to start the application process now ! !!