Try silencing and ringing again <| sep |> PM to find out <| sep |> Play the best game of duck duck goose ever . I ' d win every time . <| sep |> Oh honey , stop being so hard on yourself . Stop demonizing yourself . You just have an unconventional fetish . You talk about it as though it is something morally repugnant like pedophilia . Even if you couldn ' t find a woman who was also into it , you could be able to find an open minded woman who wasn ' t shocked or horrified . I get the feeling your social anxiety is making it feel like that fetish takes up . a lot more of youyour personality than it does . Also I feel like jumping into a kink crowd when you ' re a virgin with social anxiety is just going to make you feel uncomfortable and left out . Also , did you ever think that girl ' s partner was uncomfortable because he was feeling jealous ? Maybe he wasn ' t so into the idea of his girl talking to someone else and scared about her being interested in someone else . I ' ve experienced anxiety myself , and I have two degrees in mental health , and have generally spent my life around weird and crazy people . I ' m going to go out on a limb and say that you interpret most people ' s actions in a way that not only revolves around you , but in the negative voice of your selfloathing mind . This can not only make anxiety worse , but completely warp your interpretation of reality and your experiences . Please , keep up with therapy , and I would seriously recommend some DBT if you ' ve never done it before . It really helped my ex who had OCD . And instead of some real life kink groups that would be really scary and intimidating , maybe try some online forums . While it ' s not necessarily the best for the fetish issues but in terms of anxiety and depression and needing help socializing , recoveryourlife . com is really good . Please , get some help , and for the love of everything holy be nice to yourself .