I empathize with you but you need to be honest . 6 ' 4 '' and 350 lbs isnt just a bit overweight , its bmi is 42 ish . This is higher than obese class III , which is the highest class of obesity . The only way you are muscular is if you were hitting the gym multiple times a week and lifting world record level weights . If you tiptoe around this a lot , its not just your family that notices and talks , its everyone . With how much your heart is working , its probably enlarged and overstressed . How do your wife ' s family say this you to ? Where do these jokes even come from ? They notice the unhealthiness of it and it comes out as jokes . Its hard to sit someone not immediately close and tell them to lose weight but if you shit on them enough . at least youre mentioning it to them ? Im sure this wasnt rationalized but they felt inclined to joke about your weight for some reason . anyways you can always tell them that you are trying and for them to stop or else it will make it harder for you to come for gatherings in the future . However , their jokes , athough hurtful , will hurt less than a heart attack when youre 40 . You need to fix this .