Ugh , I do know how that feels . I had a couple of outing incidents myself . In one , I was at a holiday lunch with colleagues who were drinking beerI had been sober a few years and this didn ' t bother me at all , but when I went to the ladies ' room , my boss took it upon himself to tell the table that I ' d quit drinking and that they needed to stop ordering beers . I got back to the table , everyone ' s eyes are like saucers and they suddenly all had to get back to work after JUST saying they were looking forward to taking the rest of the afternoon off . It could not have been more obvious that he outed me so I told him that he ' d crossed a line and that I was the one who got to gauge my level of comfort with given situations , not him . To his credit , he apologized and never did it again .