Hi . Have your inlaws given any indication that they would look down on your for having mental illnesses ? Many survivors think that people hate them , when it ' s really just them feeling guilty because of the lies their abusers have told them . I already feel a ton of shame from things that happened to me and can play sane well enough . But now I am to lie to my SO people to explain how I am not a financial leach and more . So now on top of my own shame , my SO is ashamed of me too . Are you sure your SO is ashamed of you ? Did they tell you that , or are you inferring it from their behavior ? If you have a guilt complex , you probably shouldn ' t trust your judgment about what you think other people think about you . You have nothing to be ashamed of . You haven ' t done anything wrong . You ' ve just been the victim of many unfortunate things that you couldn ' t control . It ' s common for people in your position to feel guilty , but that doesn ' t mean you ' ve actually done anything wrong . There is nothing wrong with being on disability or being unable to earn money . You ' ve done nothing wrong . My SO doesn ' t want their family to know because the ex spouse will cause problemsYour ex spouse , or your SO ' s ? Again , you have nothing to be ashamed of . Why doesn ' t your partner want you to tell their family the truth ? It ' s nothing to be embarrassed over .