I ' m on their insurance . and god damn this is so crazy but they want to pay for my schooling too ! I was always so happy about that , but now that I think I ' m going to be ready soon , to go back , and I don ' t know what to do . They will acknowledge nothing of what they done , and they show me less than zero respect . I don ' t have a single happy memory with my father and I don ' t have a single happy memory with my mother after I came alive . The shit they say to me , that my family says to me . hurts so bad . But I want to start my life . But I know , that it will be hung over my head for the rest of my life . When my mother found out I briefly relapsed for a week over some serious shit she ranted about how she shouldn ' t have paid for my dental work when I came home . And in the moment . they will have their strings inside of me . They will be in control of me once more . Like I said , I just don ' t know what to do . I ' ve never met someone in my exact situation , this is such crazy timing .