So I appreciate actually feedback and it deserves to be addressed . Part of the problem comes from what you seem to be expecting being different from what I ' m doing . I ' m not really trying to tell unbiased history , Wikipedia can give you that , I ' m trying to create narrative based on history . That ' s where flowery text and additional details come into play , they are painting a picture of the situation . The description of what Maddie is wearing for example is critical to build the connection that she looks just like Jean . Another part is that a level of detail apes Claremont ' s style which is so closely tied to the XMen . It helps build narrative coherence . When I wrote about Fantomex for example I stole some of Si Spurrier ' s tics because it helps reenforce their portrayal . The stream of consciousness style is a deliberate choice . How well it works is up for debate but I ' ve heard more good than bad . The structural stuff I actually agree with you on . Passive voice is something I try to eliminate but it doesn ' t always work out . The runon stuff is partially a byproduct of the style but something that needs trimmed . It probably won ' t shock you that I am not someone with an English degree so I ' m still working towards making it better . I ' d love to have a more formal editorial system for these but I ' m a dude writing about comics on my lunch break and making a whole $ 18 a month doing it . It isn ' t going to be perfect but I am working to make it better with each article . I appreciate the feedback , thanks .