The irony of your question is that getting over them would begin with not still being in touch with them a year later . Yeah it ' s hard to totally remove people we were close with and a 4 year relationship is pretty substantial , but at least during the initial healing it is best to do No Contact . So this leaves you in a bad spot in that by talking to her and going through this process , you ' re basically making the breakup brand new for yourself again , so healing from square one . Only thing I ' m not sure of is do you know for certain that ' s why she wants to talk or is that speculation on your part ? I don ' t know why she ' d still be needing closure from you a year later , why she ' d be ready to marry someone after a year if she ' s still got that much unresolved stuff to go over with you . just kind of bizarre overall that she needs to speak with you about it . But that again comes down to whether she actually told you that ' s what she wants to talk about or if you just wrote that in a moment of frustration like I bet she just wants to clear the air because she ' s gonna get serious with new guy . Closure should have been done and over with a long time ago for the two of you . Did you leave her in that much of a hurry and refuse to talk about it at that point ? This doesn ' t really sound ideal for anyone involved . If I was about to get engaged to a girl I ' d be a little turned off if she said hold up I need to go chat with my ex first .