For all their professed love for the Constitution , they ' ve been silent will continue to be so unless pushed , by people both in and outside their districts . <| sep |> I was hit alot when I was a child by my mother , sometimes , rarely , but sometimes when we had guests . I can remember the first time it happened . I was also around 4 or 5 . I was so embaressed . SO embaressed . But the most pervasive emotion was that of betrayal . That noone cared . That they wanted to pretend she hadnt just hit me , that my father just let her . That noone said anything . That I didnt matter . That I was small , bad and worthless . The feelings were chaotic and maybe thats why the experience stayed with me . It fundamentally changed things for me . It fundamentally changed how I viewed adults . My mother had very big problems in many ways , and hitting me was usually not done around other people or in social contexts except when she was over exited , but happened when she was home alone , with me . I was very young , a small child , when I accepted my mother did this when noone was around because she wasnt right inside . I really had this understanding of her and tried not to make too much fuss , like a lot of small kids with a dysfunctional parent . When it did happen in front of other people , the social taboo of interfering with othrs parenting kept people from reacting I believe . But the person who hit your child was not a parent . And the way I reacted when other people witnessed it , was INCREDIBLY different to how I reacted when there were no people watching it happen . The difference being how the emotions got internalised and what those emotions were . Mom hitting you is a whole nother can of worms , than being hit , infront of witnesses . Being powerless and belittled , embaressed , demeaned and worthless and having people watch it , like its nothing . That delivers its own wounds . I think the most important thing for you to realise , and to tell your wife , is that the child will have felt betrayed by the two of you . For not telling off SiL where the child could see you comming to his defense . He was left feeling powerless and saw the extent to where your love for him doesnt protect him from others . It will make him insecure , and resentful . I know he wont trust adults in the family as readily as he did before he was hit . It will have made a dent in the innocense that allows young kids to believe in unconditional love . That belief does NOT survive being hit by others and having parents and family allow it to happen . Believe what you will . It changes the child . You and your wife are telling yourselves fairietales if you think this has not changed something subtle but major inside him . You also cannot tell him hitting people doesnt solve anything , or isnt apropriate , without him knowing you are false , lie and dont live as you preach . Children are probably the only humans you cant bullshit emotionally . They dont have the filter to put things in social context . For them things are very black and white , and the result is alot of bagage courtecy of the adults who should have loved and protected the child the most . Please let this be a dealbreaker for you . Please talk to your wife and let her understand that this is not on . Please see a therapist so she can engage in her own trauma and start to protect her child . Be your sons advocate . Insist on his behalf and protect him . Also , talk to him . Honestly , about what happened . He remembers , and he will allways remember it . Do not be silent and think that has made it go away .