I can tell the same story . Except exchange 5 cats for 4 guinea pigs . I know . they ' re smaller , you say . But the poo . Oh the poo . God help the person who has to clean that literal shit up . It doesn ' t end . They poo . Then they eat the poo . Then the poo again . Repeat ad nauseam . # And it wouldn ' t be so bad if they ' d occasionally let you cuddle them . Show you some affection or gratitude . Other people we know who have guinea pigs rave about how loving they are . # Nauh . They ' re greedy little . well . pigs . They squeak at you if you rattle a bag of salad . They squeak at you if you open the fridge . They squeak at you if you ' re chopping on the chopping board . Hell , they even know what it sounds like when you ' re pushing veg off the chopping board , because they ' ll squeak at you if you ' re drying one after doing the washing up . # They smell like rodents naturally so need constant cleaning no problem but then they despise baths and get upset when you ' re cleaning their cage . # We have spent an unknown number of months trying to socialise these creatures over the past 5 or 6 years with absolutely no appreciable difference whatsoever . # And what should I have expected ? They ' re prey animals . It ' s their job to run away . # Beware , future guinea pig owners . Beware . Get a dog instead .