I was playing a silence preist deck <| sep |> I haven ' t , however the closest I got to that point was when I cleared Muse chapter 47 in JP server . It was for a good reason . <| sep |> Yeah , we should totally have a cabin lights off switch . <| sep |> I had a girl pass out in my gym class during the beep test , scary stuff ! <| sep |> You can save posts . <| sep |> Me in the morning but I have have a cousin that ' s gonna be fighting for that spot in 2 hrs . <| sep |> I ' m by the relay right now . <| sep |> All solid . Only field I need help in is FT %, 3 s and in some weeks , assists <| sep |> Claim wise after Stannis and Shireen Edric Storm is in a pretty good position . <| sep |> You ' re pants make me uncomfortable . <| sep |> I address posts in reverse so here we golast pointsego can represent a number of things I suppose . there ' s this pushpull between basic needswants and something else that is fairly indescribable . an example might be when seeking something new , something powerful , something transformative within the realm of spirituality , there is a part of me controlling that drive which seems to have good intentions . it ' s the impulse driver that says something is worth pursuing because of the net positive impact it may have on me from the purely spiritual angle . I need to take this path no specific path , it ' s a generalized hypothetical because this path has the best potential impact on my spirit that I know of at present . then there is this underlying bottom side , which is naturally all of these extremely human needswants . it ' s the voice that says there may be benefits to that side of me . it ' s very basic . it doesn ' t in and of itself relate to the understanding above , it ' s just something telling me directly what my needswants are . it ' s the voice saying you want to impress people . where the ego comes in is that it sometimes favors one side over the other . usually the lower side . I ' m using upper and lower to refer to elements I don ' t know how to describe otherwise , I don ' t think either of these is better or worse , they ' re part of a greater whole and both have their own value . ego is the one who communicates the thought you want to impress people to the area that says you need to be on a intensively spiritual path . you could call it an overlapping mediator , I suppose . which sort of lines up with your remarks on Freud . but then there ' s the caveat I ' m not great at defining these things . I can feel them deeply and not have the words for them . people ask how are you doing ? and my usual response is to give the idk shrug . there are usually no words , whether it ' s bad or good . and even when bad , there ' s no way to express that without bad being taken as bad . but lol I was explaining to a roommate last night actually that bad doesn ' t have to be bad . Viktor Frankl , a holocaust survivor , had a body of work based around finding meaning out of bad situations and circumstances that applies . what is bad when you retain the ability to choose your own way ? how you feel . perhaps overly optimistic but if it ' s good enough for a holocaust survivor it works for me . lol . so is my understanding on ego alright ? it ' s just a subject I haven ' t given much thought too because I tend to focus on the proper workings of a thing rather than attempting to deeply analyze it . though once you know the inner workings of a thing it ' s at least easier to analyze . I prefer observation and response to direct intervention unless absolutely necessary . third pointson a personal level , it takes a lot to annoy me . so it ' s not , per example , me being annoyed at my roommates for annoying habits . they may have them but I don ' t notice . been around a lot of kids in my day . see , I know what causes my roommates to be hostile . the problem is , you could call my brain pretty atypical . we ' re talking autism . we ' re talking hyperactivity . we ' re talking BPD . some of these things can be controlled BPD , usually , and often hyperactivity . but some things are difficult to change no matter how much effort you put into them . a person can tell me the same thing a hundred times and though I notice and sympathize , I can ' t pick it up . it ' s in one ear and out the other though unintentionally . so it ' s a complicated situation for a number of reasons , but most importantly , I do sympathize with them and have tried to placate their annoyances . it just doesn ' t work . so my needing to leave isn ' t a result of them being annoyed or my being hurt by their annoyance , my need to leave is a positive reaction to the difficulty I cause being around . if I can ' t change the things which bother them , then I must leave . and that ' s fine . I don ' t hold anything against any one of my former roommates . they ' re all fantastic people . it ' s just that people being fantastic doesn ' t mean they can tolerate atypical behaviors and it doesn ' t mean I can tolerate the response to atypical behaviors . if thy hand offend thee . yeah . twoI mean yeah it ' s good I can recognize that there ' s a brewing shitstorm , that ' s not exactly something you want to be too in the dark about lol . onemakes sense . how anticlimactic !