Hopefully it lasts longer than when Mike proposed to Krista on BB 2 . <| sep |> Food in general , but obviously takeaway due to their ease vs . regular eating . It ' s crippling financially as I buy food I really can ' t afford that I don ' t need , then struggle to pay bills at the end of the month , but still do it . I ' ve made myself vomit food back up but hardly ever as I feel I deserve to be fat . I ' m married , with two kids , and literally cry myself to sleep sometimes worried I ' m going to die from eating rubbish the way I do , but can ' t help myself eating . It ' s rough as hell as noone cares either . Just stop eating right ? The same way people just stop smoking or just stop drinking . I enjoy the food greatly , all the flavours are amazing . I don ' t smoke or drink , so it ' s my only vice and I know if I stopped I ' d have a healthy lifestyle , but I can ' t do it . I have to leave my bank card at home so I physically can ' t spend money on food . The worst was at my wedding , where I had people comment how I should lose weight and look better in my pictures , and I got so angry as they ' re saying this whilst smoking away and drinking their brain cells into oblivion , but tell me I should fix my lifestyle . Everyone elses vice disappears visually when they put down the drink or put the cigs back in their pocket , but because mines easily seen I get to be ridiculed . I used to be fit and boxedplayed rugby but now , I ' m 6 ft 4 and 22 stone and would kill to be 1819 st again , but can ' t find any mental motivation to change even when I think of the kids or my life . I honestly don ' t know what to do .