Tbh , I can ' t even remember the issues from 23 years ago that she has had with my siblings . So your family has treated her like shit and you totally ignored and rugswept it . she doesn ' t believe me when I tell them my siblings mean no harm . Maybe because she is the one they ' re being mean to . You do not get to tell someone being abusedbullied how to feel ! She feels like me not being mad at my siblings , and the fact thaf I can forgive them for minor things years ago as cheating on her . Well , you have been putting your family before her . It sounds like they ' ve been shitty to her , you ' ve ignored it , and you ' ve been taking their side . Now she ' s DONE with their crap and you ' re throwing her under the bus . You think SHE is the problem and you ' re abandoning your wife the person you took wedding vows with to go spend time with people that have been crappy to her . You sound like a DuH .