I miss SavageAxe he only dank under the dankest of memes , and not under this kind of shit rip in peace sweet prince <| sep |> I am hooking up with a muscly , 6 ' 2 , socially dominant guy who has the same fantasies as your dude this is common and they ' re not gay or trans , it ' s not the same thing at all . It ' s about the transgression of norms , not wanting to actually identify differently or be with someone who identifies differently . He has been able to be really clear with me that he ' s into everything we ' re doing , but that he has conflicting emotions about italmost the more he is enjoying it , he also feels somewhat embarrassed about not being more of a man who would prefer to be dominant . It has been a boner killer for him at times . Getting better , I think because we have been working up gradually from including kinks in our sessions in the smallest ways possible , and I try to keep a very experimental attitude about it , like that ' s not working for cool , let ' s try something else . This is easy for me because I am lucky to have worked through a lot of my self esteem and trust issues already , at least as far as sex goes because he is so great at communicating to me that it ' s not about me and because I am actually into being dominant , and motivated by that fascination rather than by trying to please him . This is nowhere near as simple as a question of whether he desires you or not . I know it ' s really hard , but you have to take it on faith that it ' s not about that he is vulnerable here , this is new territory for him , and if he is having any difficulties they almost certainly have to do with how he feels about himself . If you can ' t get past interpreting his issues as a referendum on your attractiveness I ' ve been there in the past and I know it ' s really hard , consider therapy . Also , try and remember that if you guys are not a match in terms of sexual chemistry , you ' re gonna be fine . Your life doesn ' t depend on that . Nothing about what you ' ve described to me suggests that you ' re not what he wantsdon ' t discount your own lack of enthusiasm for his kinks , though .