My job means waking up at 545 and being out of the house by 7 am . I am not a morning person naturally and haven ' t been since I was in school . I also take medication that knocks me out at night and I ' m still groggy in the morning . I ' m JUST coming off a stupid , like 67 week long period caused by hormonal contraceptives . I moved to a another country and a new job a couple of months ago . When I ' m at uni back home I love taking the time to make myself look more together before the day , it ' s therapeutic and I feel more prepared . Here , if I even manage foundation , concealer and mascara it ' s a miracle . I only have to work 3 days a week , but for those three days I feel like total shit . I recently had a dramatic haircut to get rid of damage and I think I ' m still not 100 % used to it which doesn ' t help . Another thing that getting me down , is that the beauty standards here Spain feel different to back home UK . I feel like the standard for women here is petite , hyper feminine , long hair , natural makeup . Whereas I ' m 5 ' 11 , plus size , with short very curly hair and when I can manage it a cake face . I ' ve lived in Spain before but it was in a small town so I assumed I ' d feel less out of place this time in a city . nope . I catch people staring all the time , especially old people and other women , and it ' s starting to wear me down to the point where I ' m worried I ' m gonna say something rude to someone , I have a problem keeping my mouth shut at the best of times . People say rude shit on nights out . They clock that I ' m foreign and assume I can ' t speak Spanish . yea I understand every word you ' re saying . I guess what I ' m saying is I feel very out of place here , and weird looking I didn ' t feel like this at all at home , for ref I live in a big city with a significant student population in the UK and the fact that I ' m being forced out of what I ' m comfortable with wearing makeup every day isn ' t helping . hormones . sigh . whinge over .