They can ' t change the windows in the middle of a game , or the home team could just openclose windows to benefit their team <| sep |> The Xorda stuff was all so dumb though . and believe me , Penders was a horrible writer . I go through the entire comic every so often and it ' s all terribad before 160 . You should either pick up the reboot or read the rest of the original run . Things get ever more hype . And the fact that things just make sense in the reboot is real nice . <| sep |> That ' s basically the kind of job I have , I would love to trade with this guy , I wanted a design job . <| sep |> Corruption . Who decides which facts are right ? <| sep |> Fun factif you ' re going to have a fetish it ' s solidified in your psyche before puberty . I know that . I probably can link it to an event that took place when I was in Kindergarten no diapers were involved . Spanking is a relatively speaking extremely common fetish and one that ' s also very popular among women . Yet generally speaking men are still the majority in fetishes and especially in ABDL . You have to keep in mind who you are . You are probably an empathic and very understanding person who even studied this to an extend . Yet I ' m totally aware that if I had 100 random people in one room at least 95 of them would condemn me . I keep my eyes open and see how people react to much more lenient things . To put it simple I don ' t even want that people experience that this thing exists . I don ' t want that they see me this way . When you have social anxiety probably should ' ve written that sooner but I ' m kinda losing track about what I write to whom atm you have the feeling like you are standing in the spotlight . Like you are doing everything wrong , acting like a bumbling fool . Your selfworth is pretty much nonexistant . You don ' t want to be obtrusive to others . It ' s typical that one thinks very negatively of oneself and fears that the others might find out about you . The difference of me to many other people with this illness is that I know that I ' m a freak . That I know that with a few sentences about me I could drive away even the very small number of friends that I have . When I told my therapist about this fetish first person who ever knew of it I was so struck and shaken afterwards that I was barely able to walk . It is unimaginable how much of a freak one feels when your dad comes into your room when you are sleeping and there is still a pacifier for adults lying next to your bed . Not sure if he saw it , but if he did it would be don ' t ask , don ' t tell anyways . And good luck explaining it to any partners or friends when the first words about it are always it ' s not about pedophilia . I have no right to pull others into this . I either have to deny my sexuality and clandestinely get my fix now and then or tell it about another person and heavily stress their tolerance and forever change that persons picture of me . Not to speak of that I always have to be careful that no one else finds about this . That ' s my responsibility , not anyone elses . And this fetish wasn ' t hindering my dating experiences . At least not consciously and not as one of the main reasons . I don ' t have to find anyone like me again it ' s rare among women anyways . If I ' d specifically look for a female person with that fetish on the internet I ' d have to look at an extremely small circle . And that one person also had to be likable , too . To put it into perspective I ' m 26 and haven ' t even hold the other genders hand yet . I did a lot . I denied and tried to get rid of the fetish for years . Then I even tried to fully embrace it . Didn ' t change much either . After not being among people of my age for more than twenty months I pulled myself together and once again tried something new . I ' ve contacted a youth BDSM organisation and tried to meet with them . Looking for help wasn ' t the main reason . I just wanted to be among someone at all . It was unimaginable difficult to go there . Not because of the BDSM context , simply because they were strangers . The first part 3 of that comment was the first meeting . I succeeded at further meetings . I sit there among them while having pains and still not showing anything . In contrast to other new people there I know a lot . I can talk about almost any topic . Yet how utterly ironic sitting there being one of the oldest and being a virgin . It was extremely stressful to go there and it wasn ' t really worth it . I ' m still starving . I still go to the meetings once a month because it ' s the only social contacts I have . Yet it ' s strenuous and often boring . I ' m sitting at this place and looking at ordinary young couples on other tables while my table partners are pouring hot wax from the candles on their forearms . And I am thinking , this is my life . The others ? Discussing techniques how to tie up each other mostly . Or how to hit each other . Those are college students who are discussing BDSM topics at the kitchen table of their shared flat while their vanilla room mate is sitting next to them . Who confessed to their best friend what they like about BDSM when they were 16 . Or who talk about when they outed themselves in front of their parents . The parents of more than 50 % of people of one meeting knew it . All of this is unthinkable for me . I didn ' t reveal it there . Talked to a girl of one couple both bi and poly who was new here I wasn ' t interested in her as a partner . She was wearing a piece of chain armor as a collar , so a bit open about BDSM in public . The evening went on and later I said her that I was still a virgin . Iirc she asked if that was in connection to my fetishes and all . I said no . Earlier that evening I said that I had far different interests but you don ' t want to know . I said her that if we have a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being totally vanilla and ten being as wierd as possible then she is a 34 and I ' m a 78 . We were playing a quiz that evening with all kinds of sexual deviances being involved . Incest , smoking fetish , people doing unprotected anal sex outside of relationships small lecture of organizer guy , etc . After all that I thought what the heck and asked her if she ever tried hypnosis before . ABDL isn ' t my only fetish after all . She didn ' t and knew nothing of it . She at least was a bit intrigued about it when I told her of my experiences there . But her partner ? Oh , I could see how I was making him uncomfortable , how he was afraid . After all of that evening . In this circle of people who are already far different than ordinary people . And I ' m exposing just one dark shard of me . I absolutely can not be who I am . And this fetish is just a shard of it . Having severe depressions for months now . And beating myself up seems like the absolute right thing to do . I don ' t want to degrade what you wrote . I ' m very thankful for your words and it was very nice of you to write it . But I can ' t accept it .