Just seen this tweeted out , so neat to see . <| sep |> But tbh the Rotomdex is more of an anime trope and I haven ' t seen any of the episodes yet , I ' m waiting for them to air on Disney XD so ratings go up and stuff . <| sep |> For sure ! I ' ll add that to the script . Thank you for the kind words ! <| sep |> Some really , really solid advice here thank you . I ' ve actually been trying to be particularly explicit about that fact that any intimacy is so appreciated and it definitely doesn ' t need to be PIV sex or even a BJ to get me excited . I stress that it ' s about mutual connection . Even talking dirty to me and being there with me while I touch myself is a huge step in the right direction . We ' ve had some successes wth this method , and I make sure to always follow with telling her how appreciative I am and how amazing it feels to be intimate with her . She almost always agrees and tells me how great it makes her feel too . She has not historically been the LL partner so this is new territory for us so to speak . Trouble is I feel like it is so easy for herus to then lose momentum and if I try and regenerate that she complains of feeling weird or pressured . A note on respite . I understand it is natural and in most cases correct to assume that the woman in a family with special needs children is shouldering most of the daily burden . I think it ' s important to clarify that I have done everything in my power to rearrange my life to be that respite for her . I got Both kids in full time day care , I left a 5060 hrweek office job to increase my flexibility . I wake with the boys every day and take them to school . I pick them up from school every day . On weekdays she generally has the whole day to herself . Doesn ' t mean it ' s all fun , some of it is housework and life administration , but it ' s all Unencumbered by the kids . On weekends and holidays I handle both of them solo most of each day with her waking midday or early afternoon to help prepare dinner and do bedtime if she ' s able . I take them to doctors , do all kid related errands and grocery shopping etc . basically if I CAN take it of her plate , I do . I know saying this comes at the risk of sounding defensive but I thought it was important in the context of the conversation around getting her respite and metime . We are not an example of the dominant paradigm in this area .