I should add that I usually try for two or three date nights a month . She didn ' t like counseling because the counsellor wanted to talk about her upbringing and she didn ' t like that . There was no trauma that I know of . Her parents are normal decent people . Maybe a little high strung . I ' ve continued going on my own to try and deal with my feelings of being unwanted by my wife and how I can communicate better with her . We used to have such an amazing relationship and romance . I ' m so crushed my the absence . I feel like I can ' t do anything right or good enough to get her to see me . This last discussion where her ' crush ' came up really is the camels back breaking . I feel as if I was some safe choice that ' s come through and provided her with a secure and happy life . She has everything she wants and needs . She ' ll mention something that she ' s interested in and I ' ll be looking it up . There ' s nothing I haven ' t or wouldn ' t do for her .