I ' m sorry that you lost your wife , I understand the pain and loss . I can tell you that as time goes on the scars do heal but the feelings never leave completely even if you fall deeply in love again . Yes she was a crazy twisted kinky little thing , and we had some amazing risky mad sex lol . She used to lay naked in the passenger seat with her feet up on the dashboard and legs spread wide playing with herself as we drive down the freeway , with the cb radio on listening to all the truckers talk about her haha . I miss her sometimes really badly even though it ' s been 13 years . <| sep |> There ' s no real way for most guys to know what ' s attainable for them though . I guess logic would dictate they should try to find women that they might find objectively ugly ?