It sounds to me that there are two problems here , firstly that your family have not adjusted to the new you , and secondly that they preferred you the old way because it gave them something to feel superior over . What I would try to take away from this situation is that what is happening here is not about you as you really are . It seems that this is more about your sister needing to feel superior to someone and your mother enjoying feeling like the victim in the situation by playing the neglected mother , even though we know that this isn ' t the case . You could confront them with a hard dose of reality by pointing out to your Mum that she rebuffs all your attempts at spending time together . It ' s possible that she ' ll see the error of her ways and make a bit more effort too . On the otherhand she might so invested in her perception of this situation of you as the ' loser ' son and her as the neglected mother that she ' ll ignore anything that contradicts that narrative . I ' m really interested in your comments about your early 20 s and I ' m wondering how much of a ' loser ' you really were and whether or not your perception has been twisted by your family . You see , when you started the sentence with ' loser ' I thought it was going to be followed by ' unemployed because I didn ' t try , drug taking , aggressive bastard ' not what you actually wrote which in my book reads as ' employed car owner behaving socially like most early 20 year olds '. From the way you ' ve described it , it really doesn ' t sound that bad . Were you are loser or were you just a normal young man slightly down on his luck ? I bring it up because I ' m wondering if you ' ve bought into an overly negative image of yourself that has been portrayed to you by your parents . I ' m also wondering if this has been used to justify some of the neglect you ' ve been exposed to ? Whatever the case , whether you are able to make your Mum see your point of view or not , I think you should try to distance yourself emotionally and focus on your new life with your future wife . Good luck to both of you and I hope your wedding and married life are wonderful .