Camp Grenada ( Alan Sherman ) Hello muddah , hello faddahHere I am at Camp GranadaCamp is very entertainingAnd they say we ' ll have some fun if it stops raining . I went hiking with Joe SpivyHe developed poison ivyYou remember Leonard SkinnerHe got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner . All the counselors hate the waitersAnd the lake has alligatorsAnd the head coach wants no sissiesSo he reads to us from something called Ulysses . How I don ' t want this should scare yaBut my bunkmate has malariaYou remember Jeffrey HardyThey ' re about to organize a searching party . Take me home , oh muddah , faddahTake me home , I hate GranadaDon ' t leave me out in the forest whereI might get eaten by a bear . Take me home I promise I will not make noiseOr mess the house with other boys . Oh please don ' t make me stayI ' ve been here one whole day . Dearest faddah , darling muddah , How ' s my precious little bruddahLet me come home , if you miss meI would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me . Wait a minute , it ' s stopped hailing . Guys are swimming , guys are sailingPlaying baseball , gee that ' s betterMuddah , faddah kindly disregard this letter .