First , thank you for being the kind of mother who thinks about others and wants to be nice and inclusive to important people in your son ' s life unlike some of the moms I read about in rJustnoMIL . I think you can go two ways with this . Either a gift specific to the child if you are meeting over the holidays . If it ' s just meeting the mom , I ' d say get something ' family themed ' like movie tickets for songfgfkid and maybe a nice note saying you are happy that they make your son happy . <| sep |> Close but no cigar , Tim <| sep |> I ' m pretty sure rTheDonald boycotted Google as well they use DuckDuckGo . <| sep |> It ' s a bit complicated . In the past five months , she developed borderline personality disorder . About two weeks ago , she entered a psychological process called splitting . This is basically a result of a blackandwhite method of thinking that causes you to go between states of extreme idealizationextreme devaluation of a person . I ' m too exhausted and broken at this point to elaborate on why it happened , but it ' s severe enough in this case that I was kicked out of the house and she became deeply , deeply resentful and bitter and apathetic towards me . She also started doing things to try to be deliberately hurtful , like hacking up her thigh and sending the picture with a caption of Fuck you . A week ago , she made a no contact request , which , all things considered , is best for both of us . I ' ve became a massive trigger to her to the point that it makes her selfharm or consider it just by thinking about me . I ' m not angry with her and I still love her as much , and as I ' ve always told her , only more with each passing day . I ' m finding it too painful now to go more in detail , but yes , she is aware of my mental health issues and feelings about suicide and she was aware that these problems have been latent before we even began our relationship , and she ' s suicidal as well having made several attempts in the past 5 months , one of them leading to her being hospitalized . It was an unfortunate fact of our time together that in order to keep her alive , I had to do things that caused her to loathe and fear me physical force was used as a last resort to restrain her . This was something she was aware of and it was destroying both of us inside . I ' d say the worst instance was accidentally knocking her to the ground with one of the doors in our house because my usually pretty accurate intuition thought she was going to overdose , and I didn ' t realize where she was standing . I ' m not going to try to describe what that was like . It ' s a moment that replays in my mind constantly now and especially when I ' m trying to get to sleep and makes me feel ever more justified in selfstarvation . I try to be kind to myself . I really try . She wants me to .