What if I ' m using the word faggot in a clearly ironic and self deprecating way ? You know , as a way to point out the inherit misogyny of expected masculine behaviour . A lot of straight men that are tired of macho insecure douchebags use the term in exactly this way so I ' m not sure if the context always clear to everyone that overhears . <| sep |> get that click bait title shit outta here <| sep |> I ' m right there with you . I was definitely caught up in ' for better or worse ', kept telling myself I made a promise that I had to keep , that ' s what marriage is . I don ' t think I ever would have left . Since he left I ' ve been trying to put all the time effort I would have spent on trying to satisfy him in to loving myself instead . It ' s been going well so far