My recent finding is that it feels like ' asking ' rather than ' wanting ' to do something . The ' asking ' attitude has more ' anatta ' feel to it , there ' s also no expectation around immediate effect , unlike usual ' wanting ' to do something which includes lot of grasping . It ' s interesting to think about praying as a method of cultivating intention in a similar way in its core it seems to be very similar , it also has this ' I ' m not doing this myself ' component . <| sep |> I swear Half Life 2 did this like 12 years ago <| sep |> OP ' s father sounds like either seriously mentally ill or suffering from a physical condition that is leading to crazy obsession . Call social services for sure . <| sep |> Rushing to the toilet to vomit while watching Son of Saul .