Says the moron who thinks Haikyuu has one minute of volleyball footage . Education is rare where you ' re from i guess . <| sep |> Watch out for the aliens <| sep |> Arriving in the UK and seeing police with submachine guns there was quite chilling to be honest . But the regular police wasnt armed at all and that was nice . <| sep |> People will tell you there is no much better gear . Technically , that ' s true , but it ' s more a question of access . When you first start , just in vehicle play , lightnings , for example , you ' ll likely be destroyed in one on one fights where the other player has armor piercing rounds unlocked and has maxed his reload speed . Your basic lightning gun just isn ' t going to win those fights . <| sep |> I think your need for a meaningful relationship isn ' t unreasonable , you sound like someone who has a good understanding of the realities of getting to know someonedatingentering a relationship . What I ' m saying is , I don ' t think you ' re a lost cause . You actually sound intelligent and thoughtful , which speaking as a woman , I would find far more attractive and interesting than being manly . It sounds mostly like you ' re damaged by a lot of things and the behaviour of others in your life , as opposed to being a selfish asshole . Maybe finding a way to come to terms with and move forward from your past may help you get some confidence and peace . Of course , I ' m saying all this with the full knowledge of the sub I ' m on . And I am , of course , suicidal myself so I respect your decision either way . I just thought I ' d add my two cents . Edit I ' m also not aware of your circumstances so I don ' t want to come off as hurr durr get therapy because I know that a lot of solutions people offer are super fucking expensive with no guarantee of improvement . Again , just my thoughts .