There ' s an unofficial channel on youtube that uploads then after a few days . TB doesn ' t mind doing that , as long as ads aren ' t enabled . <| sep |> But was the documentary filmed over a few months , they found venus ' s body about a week after her murder , Could you please explain I ' m just a 15 year old gay wanting to know some herstory <| sep |> Honestly , a therapist can be really helpful . Every now and then Ive considered seeing one , partially because even after years I still feel like part of me is still having problems with what was ingrained in my head . With that said , a few things I would say keep in mind , and keep in mind that I dont know your whole situation or how long you ' ve been out . For starters , take it slow . It does get better with time . I said I still have problems , but a lot of my problems are also with a lot of other things . And Im also getting better with time . Now I can go a few weeks without thinking about the church at times . So dont rush things . Dont try to all of the sudden just be perfectly fine and normal tomorrow . If you need to , try to focus mostly on the things that bother you the most first . Second , and sort of building off of the ending to the first one , build up with certain things . You talked about the law of chastity , and how you are very shy . Thats fine . You dont need to go out and get laid . If you do get in a relationship , you dont need to have sex right away . Take that slow . For things like drinking , maybe you ' re not ready for it . Dont worry about it . Maybe start with a little coffee once you feel ready . I know some people on here left and jumped right into it , but for some things take a little longer . Im gay . I didnt come out until about a year later , and even then I still had problems because it had been ingrained in me its wrong . I didnt believe it , but the thought and feeling was still there . So if theres something you learned that giving you anxiety , take it slow . Wait until YOU are ready for it . Third , just try to remind yourself you . Are . Fine . You are loved by people . You have people to turn to for support , even if its us . And half of your mistakes are only mistakes the church would consider bad . Just remind yourself of that . But like I said , I dont know you personally , and different people need different things . Either way , I hope you can get the help you need and that things work out for you .