PM me when you figure it out . What I am working on is recognizing and accepting alternate gestures of love quality time , words of affirmation and gifts and taking physical affection in other forms cuddles . Masturbation sometimes helps , sometimes makes it worse . I haven ' t asked him , but I think it might help if he were to track when we have sex . Not in a quota type of way , but increasing awareness like oh it ' s been 11 days , and I know capughe wants it bad after 3 days instead of when I ask after 3 weeks and he says I don ' t know , I don ' t pay attention to that sort of thing . edit not that I wait for him to initiate and then complain after 3 weeks . It ' s a bunch of me getting rejected usually . There was a shark week in there that particular time so one week doesn ' t count .