It ' s on the internet . <| sep |> Guards ! Guards ! by Terry Pratchett . You know in those campy high fantasy movies , where the hero has the bad guy cornered , and the villain shouts for his guards ? His dopey , useless , noname guards ? This book is about them . Samuel Vimes is officer of the watch in the single most corrupt city on the Disc , and when a grand dragon swoops in , boots out the old leader , and claims the city as its own , it ' s up to Vimes and his cohorts to save the day . Just a brilliant little satire of high fantasy tropes in general . Also , here ' s my favorite quote from the bookThey avoided one another ' s faces , for fear of what they might see mirrored there . Each man thought one of the others is bound to say something soon , some protest , and then I ' ll murmur agreement , not actually say anything , I ' m not stupid as that , but definitely murmur very firmly , so that the others will be in no doubt that I thoroughly disapprove , because at a time like this it behooves all decent men to nearly stand up and be almost heard . No one said anything . The cowards , thought each man .