I think you mean formidable arsenal . <| sep |> They were bought over a long time and some using credit which I hate , but some times you just don ' t have that kind of money around . <| sep |> what i learned from the recent netflix special , dogs are social learners . They depend on humans for food and to get that food they need to befriend us . <| sep |> Those pictures , and these realizations are hard . You are being very tough on yourself though . My honest opinion is that you are braver and stronger than you think you are . I couldn ' t even bring myself to take a before picture . I literally couldn ' t look it knowing that I ' d see myself they way other people see me . I ' m still disappointed in myself that I lacked the courage that you certainly have . So , yeah , it sucks . But just the fact that you did it that you can face reality , and not only that , but also that have the determination to keep going forward says far more about you than your current weight ever will . Keep going , keep improving and then one day you are going to look in the mirror and see what has been there all along , an amazing person who shines .