I will not drink today . Unusually I attended at morning AA group . In the evening I got upset because my working robot little sister talked to me how she panics if she doesn ' t get a job . I really got into bad mood when she panics about selling her ass to companies , calls there and gets angry when the manager says that they cannot consider her . I said I couldn ' t whore myself to companies because my charachter is not ready for any kind of competition between other workers or work only for financial reasons . I just want to live after I have been in hell many years . Then she just became ignorant and look down on me because I just don ' t want to work right now because my abilities cannot accept licking ass .