But it ' s a different kind of comic relief . And he ' s a fighter , that ' s unusual ! <| sep |> Consistent font size <| sep |> In his Archer servant form he is at full potential already , given his fighting style . No . All incarnations of Gil as a servant never reached the full potential compare to the living Gil or the heroic spirit core in the throne . <| sep |> This sounds really tough and I think you need to do some experimenting . By experimenting I mean things like presenting as male in online spaces so you can see how you feel about being referred to with male namepronouns getting a male haircut and dressing in masculine clothes binding your chest packing . If you can pass as male through doing these things , you can also try interacting with the world as a man in places you probably won ' t run into anyone you know . You probably want to do most of these things while your husband isn ' t around to begin with , until you have a better handle on how they make you feel . I think only then will you really know if this means enough to you to come out or make physical changes . I would recommend exploring some of these things as soon as you can . I am a transman who transitioned in my midtwenties and that ' s not a bad time to transition at all , but it does get more difficult as you grow older . Good luck .