Thank you . The eardrum hurts considerably less compared to the painful realization that this relationship may be ending <| sep |> I have heard about disassociation before , particularly related to childhood trauma . Indeed , I was molested as a child 58 , but I didn ' t know any better and I thought it was fine because I always got some sort of toy afterwards didn ' t know the concept of hush money at the time of course . When I found out that it was wrong , I don ' t recall feeling like I needed to push out those memories . Generally , I always just felt like . I didn ' t care about it . Growing up , I had several friends that had mental issues , like body image and depression and anxiety and such . I always supported them but I never quite understood it , and so I always believed I had like a strong mind or whatever . I ' m starting to think that rather than being strong , maybe I ' m just better at hiding it ? Or is it that I just don ' t care ? I don ' t really know . Got me thinking ! In any case , thank you for such a thoughtful response .