Hint it ' s the orange one . <| sep |> oh I see , I guess I misunderstood how you read your item sets , my bad . <| sep |> The simple fact is that sexual slurs harm people in ways that most men simply do not get properly . This isn ' t surprising and that ignorance doesn ' t make you a bad person . I think this is where a lot of the defensiveness comes from when these topics are brought up . A lot of people assume there is supposed to be some sense of shameblame about all of this . Ideology gets us all , in differing ways . Acknowledging the ways ideology effects our perception isn ' t a call for guilt , it ' s a call for awareness and a change of behavior with that in mind . For example , the reason I consider myself a feminist is because I myself have regularly propagated bad ideology . I wasn ' t always a feminist , but as I was educated about various topics I more and more saw the need to recognize that there are some views that I simply cannot understand . It doesn ' t mean I ' m a bad person , but it does mean that I should try to challenge my own assumptions on a regular basis and also take the voices of others into account when I develop my worldview . To paraphrase some Zizek , ideology isn ' t your beliefs , but that which hides your own beliefs from you . It ' s the blind spots and the spaces in between .