I ' m starting my barbatos <| sep |> My tradelist is a work in progress . Anything with a grey highlight is currently in an active trade . Here ' s the linksharing . I ' m happy to trade if we can work something out . <| sep |> I made an appearance , that was it and I ' m still resentful I even felt like I had to do that . The only positive was that my kids seemed to have a good time . Mine is still very fresh , I don ' t have the exhaustion that most of you have but the fresh wounds are all I can attempt to compare to . I forced myself to go shopping yesterday to buy dress clothes for my kids for the funeral . I sobbed the whole way through target and I ' m so glad no one stopped me . I couldn ' t have handled it . My husband ' s and both of my kids birthdays are in December . There would be nothing I ' d like better than to disappear for that entire month .