Hey now . Juggalos are a national treasure . Why , if it wasn ' t for Juggalos , I wouldn ' t have made it through jail . I remember being sent to the clink for a white collar crime and when I finally reached general population , my ass was on the line , man . I ' m a short scrawny man , and I got no muscle to me at all , I had no choice but join a group or risk dying . I was too Catholic for the Muslims , too white for the Crips , Bloods , or Vice Lords , and I had too many teeth and a propensity for dating outside my race to join the Aryan Brotherhood . I was afraid as shit ' til I got me a new cellmate He came in like a KISS Army reject in a denim jumpsuit . This was my introduction to the Juggalos . I seen people dressed like him before , but they had their own group and everyone stayed away from them , so I figured I should too . Now , you ' re probably asking me why they were able to wear makeup in the jail , well , apparently some Dopeass ninja before me raised enough of a stink about it to have it classified as a religion . That ' s neither here nor there though , so let ' s get back to my story . He took the top bunk , which I was okay with , seeing as in prison culture you NEVER want the top bunk . I didn ' t talk to him for three days until during a lockdown he looked at the toilet and kept flushing it . I watched out of curiousity for a minute until he turned to me and went HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS DO THAT ! ? I was taken aback , this guy never seen a toilet flush before . I told him how the water flooding in actually pushes the waste water out , and gets trapped in a little u trap to keep the smell from coming back from the toilet . He looked at me with dull dead eyes , as if he didn ' t quite understand what I said , which was understandable , I only have a basic knowledge of toilets . We got to talking though , and he seemed to like me . Now me and Darryled His name wasn ' t Darryl , it was Darryled became fast enough friends especialy since he took me near those weird people everyone stayed away from . The reason why everyone seemed to stay away from them is because they seemed quite psychopathic , idiotic , irrational and prone to flipping out for no reason which was all true , but if they liked you , you were golden . I stayed by them , and in exchange they all came to me with really simple questions and for some reason it blew their mind when I answered them . For instance , one was taking a GED class and he came to me about things ranging from why multiplication seems like really complicated adding to how you spell lmnop in the alphabet . It wasn ' t all good times though , I had to conform to their standards and rules . I had to put on clown makeup everyday to reprasent da family and I even had to take on a new name It was Ninja MethStar , by the way and anytime I seen someone in the family no matter what was happening I had to greet them with a whoop whoop Since I ' m midwestern it came out more like ' Hwoop hwoop and often times we came to blows with certain other elements in the prison , such as those who liked Eminem . But I had to put in time for the family to receive the protection from it . My two years in the slammer finally came to an end though , and I had to abandon that family like it was nothing . Sometimes though , I put on the makeup and look in the mirror , and I whisper a solemn Whoop whoop to myself in memory of them .