187 thanks for the giveaway . happy holidays <| sep |> No server wants that . Servers make more with the current format . <| sep |> You should not even be thinking about marriage at this point if she has not dealt with her drug and alcohol misuse . Period . Take it from someone who knows . Even if she has periods where she is not abusing substances that seem ' fine ' she is not mentally prepared to give it up completely . These instances where she was sneaking out etc ? She feels like she can pull the wool over your eyes and is not being honest with you because ' I ' ll get away with it '. I don ' t know whether she is cheating from what you ' ve said , but she might be pushing the boundaries of the above further . Discussions about marriage should be off the table until she is fully honest with you about her shady behaviour , what help she needs which needs to be her choice and whether there is anything else going on that you need to know about . These problems won ' t go away by themselves , much less with a ring .