Listen , a bull is going to charge at someone crossing their field . That ' s fine , it ' s the nature of bull ' s to charge . But , knowing that , you wouldn ' t get in the field with them . It ' s fine if you want to accept your N as they are , as a sick person who isn ' t responsible but then if that ' s true , get the hell out of their field . You don ' t need to be there for them you don ' t need to put up with it , you certainly don ' t need to tolerate their abuse because it ' s in their nature . Next time someone implies that your N is not at fault and must be accommodated , feel free to use the animal metaphor . I wouldn ' t blame the scorpion for stinging me , but I wouldn ' t pick it up again either . Obligation has to be a two way street if the N isn ' t your minor child and dependent on you . If you OWE it to them to help out , then they OWE it to you not to constantly abuse you . Period .