Are you still in college ? If so , do they offer counseling services ? Of course no one can diagnose you over the internet , and I don ' t want to be presumptuous , but this may be post traumatic stress that someone can help you work through . I ' m sure this was a traumatic experience for your whole family and not something you should feel guilty about . <| sep |> When my MIL casually mentioned doing something or other to help a crisis pregnancy center , I screamed internally . Those places are fucking shit . It would have done zero good to say anything about it , trust me . I vented to my husband about it later . <| sep |> Just saying , there ' s a current conflict in Myanmar in which Buddhists are committing genocidal acts and ethnic cleansing against a local Rohingya population . Don ' t act like any group is predisposed to being good or bad .