He wears a white Tshirt and dubiously not distressed jeans . He picks up rocks in the jungle and throws them at people for extra damage . <| sep |> Wrong ! You will lose literally everything . One minute JNUG is your boy . You give him a call each morning when the market opens , and he ' ll pick up the phone like ' homes , i got your back ! Now just sit back and relax like the boss ass fool you are ! '. Everything ' s going great . You become close pals , bbq ' s and what not . Chilling by the beach , deep and meaningful discussions . He tells you his hopes and dreams , all of the little JNUG ideas he has about this and that . Life is great . Time goes on , confidence in each other grows and JNUG comes to you with a proposition . JNUG has big plans . To the moon he says , You only live once he says . Mad tip , you realize your boy JNUG has inside knowledge , which if you think about it , has been quite evident all along He ' s only ever been eating tendies the whole time you ' ve seen him . With Ranch . Tight . Now JNUG is your boy and boys take care of each other , he wants to cut you in . How much do I need to get in you ask . ' I ' m mad bullish ' JNUG says , Lets go all in . You call up the broker with pride . All in on JNUG you say . The next few days are a blur . Waking up and seeing those gains ! Day after day . Eating tendies like a boss , just like your boy JNUG . The next day you wake up feeling incredible . The sun is shining . Birds are singing . And you can already smell the tendies . You login to see your sweet gains . JNUG down 20 %, surely that can ' t be . I ' ll give it a day or two to let it even out . Then down 20 % more , then 15 % more then 10 % more . WTF is happening ! You call your boy JNUG , he ' s not answering , why isn ' t he answering ! ? You hear a knock at your door , it ' s the repo man . He tells you to pack up your shit because your house is getting repossessed . You check your bank for any residual gains , fucking zero mate . Then you remembered you went all in . Fucking JNUG ! Atleast you ' ve got your wife , when all else fails , she ' s got your back . You ' ve got to get her up and ready before they repo your house . You walk into the bedroom and find all her shit is gone . When the fuck did this happen ? You pack up your shit and walk outside your house . Wtf do you have left ? The mail I guess . Open up the mailbox , and there ' s a post card inside . You instantly recognise the smell , your wife ' s purfume . From Alpha Centauri with love it says . Signed JDST .