Working out helps a ton in terms of making you visually more appealing only . That ' s a must . However , a harder thing to achieve , but all the more important , is to just experience life created or accidental . I ' ve traveled , did time in jail , and basically said yes to things for a while that I wouldn ' t have before . Also , having a positive attitude and outlook on life helps a ton . People don ' t want to be around boring , pessimistic , self conscious people , especially females . It ' s easy to say be confident , but that ' s easier said than done . I feel confidence comes from being a fun and interesting person to be around and having plenty of funnyexciting personal stories . The more you experience with the right mindset makes you grow as a person and you stop sweating the small shit I . E . the opposite sex . Lastly , speaking slowly and taking the time to think about what you say helps . Before , I found myself sometimes speaking too quickly , fumbling over words , or saying cheesy , dead end statements . Take a moment to breath and think . Also , don ' t be afraid of brief pauses in conversation AKA awkward silence . Fearing this leads to more awkward bumbling . Edit I ' m a very anxious and often self conscious individual . Confidence is a bit of an act . Some nights I ' d be super confident and it ' d pay off , other nights the opposite happened . You ' ll have good days and bad days . Take them both in stride . Soon you ' ll realize it ' s not life or death and the confidence or borderline indifference will follow .