But go on , please tell me about how the alternatives weren ' t done properly and that if we JUST gave it another chance and maybe this time it will be different . <| sep |> Newish . We ' ve been fighting for it seems forever , but it used to be once every few months , then once a month , and now it ' s pretty much any time he ' s not giving me the silent treatment . I went back and thought about it and 99 % of the time the cause is that I didn ' t anticipate the needs that he never communicated , paid attention to other people than him , or basically acted as my own person . His number one complaint about me is that I don ' t know how to be in a relationship . I ' m not supporting or loving or show him the kind of affection and respect that spouses show each other , so he is justified in tearing me down until I ' m in tears . It ' s all bullshit , BTW . Funny how he had the same complaint about his exwife .