That will probably be true of every recently retired generation . <| sep |> Well , who is to say that it would be more powerful than your squadron members or your chocobo ? <| sep |> It ' s been a little exhausting today with all the talking to family members and keeping a smile on my face , they all said lots of nice encouraging things and are happy for me making a real go at getting treatment for my addictions so I didn ' t want to look depressed or get angry even though at times I just wanted to be alone . Being around people drinking and having a good time is tough they don ' t mean it but they made things harder for me knowing that drink is off limits to me and even if it wasn ' t it ' d be a bad idea for me to drink at this point . I did however sit down and eat a great dinner with my family which is a big difference to what I was doing a year ago , this time last year I didn ' t care about the holidays or family I was just trying to make sure I could find enough money for the dope to keep me going in a barely functioning life wanting to nod and forget how miserable I am . Right now I ' m thankful to be alive , warm and able to reflect on this stuff . I ' m thankful I can look forward to the future healing and getting stronger and for the people who helped me get on this path and believed in giving me a chance when I ' d already given up on myself .