Or having really heavy hair , too . My mom wouldn ' t let me perm my naturally wavy , thick hair . I wore it like a giant blanket , apparently , in . <| sep |> dont remind me <| sep |>' So then I took a 3 rd ' You weren ' t ahead economically lol <| sep |> Oh , definitely not , thank you for the words of support . It would have been even more awful if I didn ' t err on the side of caution in most situations and she did end up dying . there were plenty of times where she said she was going to be okay , then I intervened , and then she cried and confessed that she was going off to commit suicide and she was grateful for me not letting her go . The starvation thing isn ' t necessarily caused by that specific incident , though , sorry for the awkward wording . It ' s a form of self harm I ' ve been doing because it ' s relaxing to know that starvation is , when you think about it , a slow form of dying . It ' s relaxing , and I kind of like the pain of mild hunger . I ' ll be happy stopping when I ' m nearly underweight or when I cross the BMI threshold into being actually underweight .