Oh yes , I ' m sure it will Be a net positive s <| sep |> It won ' t let me select the low level characters . They keep saying it is too hard for them . <| sep |> Nah it ' s the switch bro <| sep |> its simply impossible this way <| sep |> Yeah that broom moment is what I was going for <| sep |> Like this ? <| sep |> I ' ll trade you a mimikyu if you have something good to trade <| sep |> I ' ve chickened out of suicide twice within the past year and a half . Recently relapsed into self harming which I haven ' t done for over a decade . I ' m 28 . feels like I shouldn ' t be 28 , though . I have a few . friends . or rather acquaintances , really , since I don ' t have any friends to speak of and we have problems we ' re giving up on dealing with . At this point the two things that keep me going are the fact that if I do kill myself , that would destroy my parents . That however is losing its importance day by day . The other thing is that I try to be there for these friends , keep them company , listen to them , try to inspire them why there is something in this hell we call life that still worth living for . Feel like I ' m a hypocrite , really . Do I really believe the things I tell them ? Am I really there for them or is it just a way for me to distract myself from my own thoughts ? And if it is the latter , then who ' s to say I ' m not making things worse for those people ? What if I fail ? Again . What if I do more damage that what they ' ve already endured and the reason why they eventually kill themselves is because of me ? I can ' t survive that . I ' m not sure I even want to take that risk anymore . Edit minor changes for clarification