Being in an abusive relationship is very much like being brainwashed . I know it seems like she is stupid or enjoys being abused from the outside if you dont understand the dynamics and the situation . It can be confounding . To learn whats really going on in the situation you have to look deeper . I recommend you go onto thehotline . org and read up on whats really happening . There is a section for helping Friends and Family . It can give you insight on how to address it . If you do something that seems like the right move , it can actually be very harmful . This is not a normal relationship . The erosion of who she is and what she values has been deeply done . It takes many false starts for a victim to get free . So get educated .