Can you write smiling is easy when you know how to lie <| sep |> the walk helps people appreciate the food more <| sep |> the heck just takes a nap on the floor of a storage room ? ! why did you want to leave before the party started ? you not wanna go or somethin '?<| sep |> My parents did the best they could for me . They were loving , they were wise , they were as present as they could be , they raised me in a 3 . 4 million dollar house overlooking city atop a hill . It turns out the best they could is pretty damn good with their efforts combined . Needless to say , I was popular in school . If for nothing else , the other kids wanted a tour of my house or to meet my parents . Maybe they wanted to ride in the somewhat exotic sports car I received for my sixteenth birthday . I don ' t even know what brand it is . It ' s just , whatever , a car ? Does it really matter what brand of car it is ? Anyway , the party was big . My parents hired some rising DJ from the inner city , I don ' t really like music , so I don ' t know his name or whatever . They even hired security though I think it was likely just to make the event appear more important than it really was . I ' ve been looking forward to my 18 th birthday , though . All the money in the world could never buy what I was going to get on my 18 th birthday . enlightenment . You see , every person receives a letter from their future selves . No bullshit . Somehow , with some exchanging of hands with the Government sometime in the future , we are entitled to write one letter to ourselves on our 18 th birthday . The government delivers it to a facility that somehow can open up a wormhole or whatever goes on , then they deliver it in the mail . Some people get sage wisdom that helps them to navigate the next years necessary to either improve their lives or turn their lives around . Some people get incredibly frightening advise to steer clear of something the hold very closely to their hearts . Or they are warned about the moment that person enters their life . I am hoping to get good news . The day is here ! !! I have all of my closest friends gathered around my house . Everyone is always telling me how smart and funny I am . Everyone is without concern that my future self will be more than happy to sing my praises given my track record so far . The post office carrier slows to a mild squeak of his breaks before stopping completely . He gets out of his little truck car mailguy thing , and approaches me with a warm smile . Hey kiddo , happy birthday . Are your parents around ? Yeah , they ' re in the kitchen . Do you have my letter ? I have mail for you . I need to speak with your parents . It ' s very important . I could feel my suspicious glad tightening my face into a knot . This was MY day . It is MY right to read a letter that I wrote to MYfuckingSELF ! Through the front door , go up the stairs , through the hallway , take a left , pass the bar , and through the swinging door . They should be in there making drinks . The old mail carrier smiled warmly again , but his mouth didn ' t match his eyes . A few moments later , shortly after the short pudgy man had scuttled his way past the front door , I heard my mother start to scream before being cut off abruptly . I looked around at everyone ' s stunned faces and then ran into the house , up the stairs , through the hallway , left , passed the bar , and through the swinging door . My mother was sitting on the floor crying . The post office man had removed his hat . The mail carrier placed a stack of plump envelopes on the stainless steel counter top and proceeded to see himself out . My father stood over my mother . His eyes were watering and bloodshot . Your letter didn ' t come . He said , trying to keep the facts straight . What do you mean it didn ' t come ? ? It had to have gotten lost in the mail ! I said , in my youthful skepticism . No , it never came into being at the facility . This means that either I chose not to write to myself , or . . Yeah Dad said . He wasn ' t going to allow me to finish . How can I know ? You can ' t . So , for now let ' s just assume it ' s one or the other and hope for the best . He said . Which one is better ?