I ' m still waiting on Minakov and Moraes , personally . <| sep |> He and kirk won me money so its ok <| sep |> checks age of account . Oh wow , it ' s going on 6 years now . The tldr of my history is that I tried all the usual approaches of trying to fix the DB , which did not work . Eventually asked for an open relationship and wife said no . Admitted that she couldn ' t logically defeat any of my arguments , but had the luxury of not needing to justify her no . If she said no and I did it anyway , I ' d be cheating and wrong no matter what . Recognized that it wasn ' t fair to me . but she was going to play her card here , so deal with it . So , I did . Something inside of me just kind of flipped . I realized that she wasn ' t interested in helping me out here , and continuing to ask or expect her to do so was foolish on my part . I couldn ' t and didn ' t want to force her to have sex , so the only solution left was to have it with others . After six years in this lifestyle , my advice to you would be if it is at all possible to end the relationship , just end it . And I ' m not saying that out of any take the high road sentimentality . The thing about cheating is that while it does satisfy your sexual needs , it does nothing to satisfy your desire to be physically intimate with the one you love . You could have sex with 7 different partners in a week and still feel lonely and rejected if your wife turns down an advance from you . As a result , you have to redefine the parameters of your relationship . You have to accept your partner for who they are , and not expect anything sexual from them . And you have to accept that the person you are having an awesome sexual relationship with is nothing more than a really good friend . Aside from whatever wants and needs you may have in respect to your relationships , you will also be fighting against some very powerful hormonal responses . It is a lot harder than it sounds . Imagine you go out one night and meet up with a woman . She ' s dressed up nicely and flirts with you all throughout dinner . You steal away to a private spot and tear each others clothes off and ravage each others bodies , like you were hungry for each other . Each kiss , each touch , each caress only makes you want more . The sex is intense , powerful . You collapse into each other , a sweaty mass of two naked bodies , still joined in spirit . The afterglow is cut short as you both have to get up , get dressed , and go your separate ways . You go home and find your partner wearing the same ratty pair of pajamas she has been for the past two weeks . You try to initiate a conversation with her , but she ' s annoyed because while you brought home milk like she asked , you didn ' t get the lowfat like she wanted . Do you go to bed that night thinking about how much you love your partner and are glad that you ' re with her ? Or replaying the intense sex you had just a few hours earlier . What if your dynamic fuck buddy happens to share some of the same hobbies ? What if you two have a lot of fun together ? And the conversation flows naturally and freely ? Can you say that the idea of what if . ? would never cross your mind ? Don ' t get me wrong ultimately I feel you should do whatever it takes to make you happy . If that option is cheating , then cheat . Don ' t let society ' s fingerpointing keep you from being happy . But as someone who has walked this path , I can also say you should avoid it if at all possible . You may be fine with everything else in the relationship , but what you are missing is a huge , integral component . We form relationships under the guise that relationships aren ' t based on sex . But maybe that idea isn ' t as true or as accurate as we think it to be .