I would propose a onesided open marriage , where I am free to date others but she is not . That ' s not an open marriage , if you want to step out , she should have the same right to do it . While that is unequal , it ' s not unfair . If she wants intimacy and affection , I would be more than happy to oblige . It is unfair , because you are assuming she is the problem , and you are the solution for her problem . In reality , there could just be an incompatibility , or there could be issues that have affected the way she feels about you , so you would be depriving her , since another man may be the solution she needs , regardless of whether you think you are the only one who can meet her needs or not . You can make the rules , but if she decides you are out there with other women , she can get out there too , you can ' t stop her by withholding permission . Do you have kids etc ? Open relationships imo , are a minefield for most people , and it is more involved than just getting sex elsewhere . There are people here who do have open relationships but it seems like it is either because they can ' t leave a sick spouse , their fwb has a sick spouse , or they are just hanging in until the kids are older . ujustdiscoveredsex is one of them .