When speaking to your wife you need to make the following clear from the get go The child is before her time . You had no knowledge of child because of mother moving away and this is brand new information to you You wanted to keep this to yourself until you were 100 % sure with DNA proof that he is your son . He has been nothing but courteous towards you , and he is in trouble and could do with both you and your wifes help . Explain that this is a decision you need to make together , but that you do feel strongly about helping him and his mother . You also need to make a decision as to whether you would like to keep him in your life . This is important , as if you want to build a relationship with him , then helping him in his time of need may be crucial to that relationship . You need to do all of the above as soon as you possibly can . Do not wait , do not hide it further . You can probably get away with keeping this to yourself whilst you found out whether his story checked out with DNA , but it will probably hurt your wife to hide it further .