Boats , logs , rope and people . Ancient people were much more capable than a lot of people give them credit for . <| sep |> Until the wall comes . <| sep |> You ' ve tried communication and therapy but ultimately she either doesn ' t have the same relationship with sex as you do , in general , or she is not that sexually interested in you , specifically . A drop off after children is normal but you ' ve ridden that rough water and you ' ve tried to be sensitive and understanding and proactive yet here you are . You two are not compatible and it ultimately doesn ' t matter if this is her sex drive or her attraction to you specifically , because either way you feel unwanted and she is not interested in trying to work on it . I didn ' t last half as long as you in a similar relationship no kids . I sat down my partner for the 2 nd last time of many and told her this could end our relationship , it wasn ' t anybody ' s fault but I can ' t be happy unless we work on this incompatibility . Nothing changed on her part besides that she felt more pressured and anxious , which is predictable of course . Four months later I admitted to her I was seeing her as more of a friend or roommate because she noticed I never initiated anymore I was too beaten down by the rejection and i cannot be attracted to someone who puts off sex with me like they put off doing tedious chores . Two months after that I ended it and started finding people who were thrilled to see me naked , to touch me , to fuck me and now I ' m in love with someone like that , who can hardly keep his hands off me . It is amazing . If you stay with her like this you will be miserable and resentful for the rest of your life . Your time on this planet is finite and you don ' t get doovers . It ' s time to accept that this relationship isn ' t working , mourn it , and find someone who loves you AND wants to tear your clothes off . A hard truth I faced is that you cannot talk someone into having gutfeeling desire for you . At best you can convince them to consider more frequent sex as a planned bonding activity , the same way you might plan going to a restaurant once a week to connect . But your wife won ' t even do that , and if she would , at this point , would it be enough ?