just ban rTheDonald and get it over with <| sep |> I ' ve suffered from major crippling depression and anxiety for years now . I finally started taking medication for it recently and things have been getting better , but my mom didn ' t want me on medication because it ' s supposed to be a last resort , and we waited way too long to start me on it . I was raped by a girl my own age when I was 15 . I don ' t want to go into details , but she went around and told the entire fucking school about it and blew the whole thing out of proportion and I was tormented by her and everyone at that school about it for three years . It got to the point where after I had moved away to my next station my dad ' s in the Air Force and had been away from the constant pestering for a few months I started having triggered anxiety attacks when people would say certain things , and sure enough I was diagnosed with PTSD . I attempted to kill myself a little over a year ago . I downed a half empty prescription bottle of Motrin and went to bed , woke up three hours later and vomited profusely , and went back to sleep feeling even worse about myself than earlier . I struggled with cutting myself for several months before that and my parents flipped shit on me when they saw the cuts one morning when trying to wake me up . I have probably the most severe selfhate complex I ' ve ever seen . I literally hate everything about myself name anything and I ' ll be able to tell you what I don ' t like about it in reference to myself . It ' s probably amplified by my anxiety because I can do the slightest thing wrong and it ' ll ruin my entire day and deepen my hatred towards myself . I ' m just utterly average at everything and I have no real skills jack of most trades and master of none I guess . I mean for fucks sake I couldn ' t even kill myself properly how am I supposed to do anything right ? Oh and I just found out a few weeks ago I ' m mildly autistic , which explains a lot about why I ' m so super socially awkwardinept . I ' ve got ADD which makes it so difficult to focus on things I ' m not interested in and near impossible for me to notice anything else when I ' m honed in on something I enjoy . My brain is just all kinds of fucked up and if it weren ' t for my amazing girlfriend I wouldn ' t still be here . TLDR I ' m an autistic fucktard who can ' t do anything right and is so mentally chemically imbalanced that I have to take medication to prevent myself from taking my own goddamn life . Although I doubt anyone even cares at this point to be quite honest .