well I don ' t think it ' s actually a sword either . my point was just that I don ' t think he grew a beard for the same reasons people today grow beards , since they seem to be pretty trendy at the moment . and yeah , it ' s a good thing I ' m not planning on making out with him <| sep |> So , as always . love your stories . Hate your MIL with quite a passion . Now , what piqued my interest most , is the candy cane ass xray . I actually read that part to my wife after I cackled out loud . She had this wtf ? ? look on her face and I was giggling . I then said , I would totally hang that fucker on the wall ! Especially at Christmas ! I would love that ! Her response was , Yeah , I know you would ! I googled it . I love it . I need it . Can we arrange for you to jack that sucker and ship it to me ?