Japan will definitely accept me , I love everything Japan such as anime , ramen and takoyaki . Japan here I come <| sep |> i believe you are still comfortable . and bored . read mark manson ' s book on not giving a fuck . my opnion . u are too comfortable and good enough to go anywhere and do anything . u distract yourself enough from your misery so you are ok the majority of your time . my opinion is . while your are distracting yourself . ask yourself is this making u happy . is this what u want ? do you want to learn to solve differential equations or do you just like the idea of being able to do it ? there is a difference between those two questions . the rockstar spent thousands of hours to get what he has , usually being fine with it because he enjoyed his guitar . he appreciate his actions . every new piece he cimes up with gives him joy . becoming a rockstar was secondary . in science it is difficult because . math is in your head . nobody will give a shit about u solving integrals . so only u urself can be proud of it . only joy from within . and mostly problems are pushed on you . people in unis forget that its their choice and perhaps feel forced and get miserable as a consequence . always remember u r choosing . be proud of urself choosing . or distract urself use ur time to stay comfortably miserable