My mom and my dad met , and my dad knew immediately he was going to marry my mom . Unfortunately , my mom was not into him at all . She traveled a lot for work , and he sent two dozen long stem roses to her hotel room but forgot to sign the card , and she thought it was from her boyfriend . When she got home , and found out it wasn ' t from him , she broke up with him . Then she figured out it was from my dad , and decided to go on a pity date with him . And then pity slept with him . And then dated him for six months because why not . Anyways , right around thanksgiving , they were going to go to a party , and mom had gotten really comfortable in the relationship , and she ' s about to walk out the door , and dad is like , I am not taking you that party looking like that . I ' ll see you later . So mom got all dressed up , showed up at the party , pulled him outside , and said , If you want to keep sleeping with me , you have to marry me . And they were married six months later , had me two years later , had my brother five years later , and retired to florida thirty years later .