Ever had a burrowing creature pop up and smack you in the junk from below ? Let me tell you . I was out walking in the sun shortly before pokemon go launched here in the states . Nice day , slight breeze , sun shining , perfect . A quick stop at the gas station , grab some peanuts . I cross the library lawn and into the park . The trees are blocking the sun , and my eyes are adjusting , when BAM ! A gopher pops up out of it ' s hole , leaps into the air , and lays a headbutt right on my delicates . I swear this thing was the Jackie Chan of gophers . Cheeky grin , baggy track suit , funny hair cut , the works . My eyes about fall out of their sockets , and I blow my guts out right there in the dirt . I can barely see , and my ears are pounding . On all fours , I ' m holding my junk , and this little bastard grabs my peanuts and runs off . On top of the savage sucker punch to the family jewels , he ran off with my peanuts . Now I have to go home and grab more cash if I wanna get my fill . How much you ask ? Well as it turns out I had my day ruined and the boys bruised for about tree fidy .