100 % would be terrified while having a huge crush . <| sep |> Thank you for reaching back out to me . I am ok now . After our conversation , I found myself turning into the person that I have worked so hard this past decade to lose . I was obsessively checking to see if you had replied . I made myself stop checking because it was making me insane , which is why it took me a few days to see this . I read our interaction a million times . I found myself getting anxious and angry at every little thing . The crippling depression that haunted me for so long was resurfacing . Every minute I was thinking about every fucking decision I ever made . Everything we went through good and bad . What could have been . It was debilitating , and I know you know exactly the feeling I am talking about . I was even questioning my present life and if I should just call it quits and start over . I mean , I was being absolutely crazy . I was being the old me , and it scared the shit out of me because I hate that person and I don ' t ever want to see her again . The thing that pulled me back was what you said . You said , I may have helped you . That was the whole reason I reached out to you . I looked you up because I found that letter , but I was never going to contact you . The only reason I did was because of your post . It hit me like a punch in the gut , and I knew I had to do somerthing . I reminded myself of the reason we spoke not to relive all of the bad feelings , but to heal . For me to help you heal . I am so glad to hear you are feeling better , please keep it up . You really , really deserve it . I don ' t expect you to forgive me hell , if you did you would be a freaking saint . I don ' t know anyone who could forgive what I did . I am glad I was able to be of some help . If you ever need to talk , or ask any questions or whatever , you know where to find me . Happy Thanksgiving .