It seems like she ' s a lot more emotionally invested in the future children than you are , which may make you seem uninterested in having children . But I do think these are good problems to work through when you ' re not in the midst of it . These may also be problems that other people she know with kids have come up against , and she wants to deal with them eventually . You ' re going to have to figure out sooner or later things like what do you want to prioritize for the children ' s education ? do you think they would benefit more from an urban , suburban , or rural setting ? Are you or your wife prone to certain predispositions like being a picky eater , being an introvertextrovert , or other things where you can start reading up on how to deal with it , etc . My husband and I started talking about this pretty much as soon as we decided to have kids ~ 1 . 5 years before actually starting trying . So I don ' t think your wife is being unusual to be thinking ahead . We recently got pregnant with our first . Even though it was planned and we ' d talked and researched a lot , I still don ' t feel really ready . Part of it is that I was sick through a lot of the pregnancy . So I thought I ' d have many more months to prepare than I actually did . I wish I ' d looked up baby stuff more and gotten a registry done before I got pregnant .