Woops , read to fast , didn ' t see clearly for the sarcasm . Thanks ! <| sep |> For me , I had no idea and for that I feel incredibly guilty . No no no . Before we even know what we ' re doing , we learn to hide ourselves , often subconsciously . Hiding it well is a survival skill . Not your fault that he succeeded . I am not sure there is anything I could have done to have supported him earlier in the relationship as he was trying to hide it from himself . I am sure there is not anything . Unless you used to make a habit of saying horrible transphobic things or something , which I very much doubt . This is all new and fresh to me . I just need someone to talk to . Yes , of course . You ' re doing the right thing to reach out . Consider looking for a local PFLAG chapter , too . Hopefully this will be the beginning of a better chapter for both of you . No firm promises , but much or all of his depression may clear as he unburies and deals with this .