I ' m just ready to break . If it weren ' t for my girlfriend , I ' d probably be a mess right now . Outside the occasional fight , she ' s been the one taking care of me . First , I took a temp job last year that told me it would get to be full time within 6 months because there was no proper funding for the position . I just wanted to work with numbers again . Fast forward to today , still no offer , and now things get hairier . Early last year , I dropped of a major medical condition . When my girlfriend caught wind of it , she freaked out . Said condition would prevent me from driving , so we essentially lived together until the doctor said I was okay . I wanted to start interviewing a long time ago , but this was a wrench in the metal work . Now that I ' m clear , I started applying like crazy . I ' ve been on several interviews already and most I was the cause of my failure by missing simple tech questions difference between a simple and full backup , confusing SSRS with SSPS , etc , but others have said , during the interview , I don ' t believe you have these kind of credentials , or I find it hard to believe you ' re this even keeled . I had a 2 nd interview with a great nonprofit , but I was rejected because of position restructuring , this one made me break into tears . Then , the holidays are around . The topic of thanksgiving comes up . Mom doesn ' t want to cook again , asks who wants to host . I can ' t since I ' m in a one bedroom apartment , brother doesn ' t want to , and my sister wants to do her own thing . it makes me worry for Christmas . My girl extended the offer to my parents to join her family , but declined , to join my aunt down the road . I got group texts from them , but close friends sent me personal texts . Add into this , missing a few friends invites for parties because of my incapacity to move who now begrudge me for bailing on them , anxiety for driving again and having another incident , and the hate I read every day on Facebook by people who I thought were friends , I ' m breaking down slowly , and the ideas of getting a real job are getting farther and farther from my mind . I was patient in the beginning , rose colored glasses that things will get better . Now , I ' m losing hope .