Tried to get on a roof , game registered it as going into the basement , breaks window , breaks concealment , triggers 2 pods 1 including a sectopod and the archon ruler . <| sep |> Old friend of mine from elementary and middle school . We grew up together were practically sisters , but when high school came she started getting really into the teenage rebellion sex crazy aggressive thing . Her dad was military and her mom obviously favored her little sister , but it also became apparent over time that she was lying about certain things and exaggerating others to get sympathy . I DID sympathize with her for being bigger than other girls both of us had ended up taller and stronger than most of our classmates , and didn ' t do cute very well . She decided to go revealingsexy route and I went sweaters and jeans Her talking so much about sex and how much she wanted to fight people and how angry they made her , and how she carried a knife around in the hopes she would have an excuse to hurt someone made me reeeal uncomfortable . practically every convo started swinging back to those topics . I just wanted to read books and play neopets and Pokmon like the blossoming nerd I was meant to be . She pinned me to her bed and kissed me suddenly one day and I didn ' t like it , and she went ahead and gave me oral insisted I do the same to her , and that ' s why I stopped inviting her places . I realized I was scared of her lashing out violently if I said no , stop and . yeah . My brain was yelling Do Not Want but I was too scared to actually say no I just stayed quiet and played song . . ahah I ' ve never actually written this out before . When put into words , it kinda sounds like rape , but I ' ve never actually thought of it like that before . she was just gross and terrible . That was when I was . 13 ? 14 ? One of the summer breaks , before I had made better friends . And then one day in high school , I was having a slumber partymovie watching at my house thing for my birthday . She overheard me inviting others and demanded an invite and I didn ' t have the guts to say no to her face . Girl was grumpy all night , was snippy with everyone throughout , stole the main living room couch and yelled at people to be quiet so she could sleep . In the middle of us watching movies ? ??? We turned the volume down and tried to be quiet , but apparently she couldn ' t get to sleep . So after a few minutes of muttering insulting things under her breath keep in mind we were all 1516 she suddenly rolled off the couch and pinned my smallest friend and started strangling her , slamming her against the ground and screaming at us to shut the fuck up . she wasn ' t holding back , and it looked like She was about to break my little friend ' s neck . Small friend was a cheerleading flier barely 5 ' 1 and skinny . Violent friend was closer to 5 ' 8 , built like a linebacker , or a bear wrestler . Just . naturally broad and effortlessly strong . I was likewise tall , but more slender It took three of us to drag her off , and after a few attempts to grab the flier friend again , Girl started yelling at me specifically . Shoved me , slapped me across the face , but I was so furious that she actually HURT one of my new friends that I lashed out blindly I meant to slap her back and shove her , but it accidentally ended up being a fingernails slashing across the face and palm punch to the lower throat She fell back and cracked her head against the wall , gasping for air , and for the first time actually looked at me with fear , instead of the other way around . It felt like victory , and tasted like self disgust , because for a moment I wanted to find her knife and make her feel utterly powerless and scared for her life in return because How Dare She . And a smaller part of me wanted to cut her eyes out with that knife so I wouldn ' t have to see her looking at me again I got someone else to call her mom to pick her up , and I think that was the first time I actually hated a real person . So , uh , yeah . we don ' t talk anymore . Dunno what happened to her . I might delete this later . It ' s kinda weird posting . that . publically . Was it really rape ? Am I overthinking things ? Fuck .