Just hit 32 today . Before the gym update I constantly had 810 defenders in so I collected 40005000 stardust everyday for weeks . That ' s to blame for many of my maxed vapes and a maxed Gyrados my only one , mind you . <| sep |> Difficult to say . Half a year ago I was struck by depression the third time in my life . Third time in my life thinking that I wasted my life . This means that everything I did since the last two times was useless . Therapist said it wouldn ' t make sense to have further meetings if I ' m not at least able to say that I have the will to get better . But I ' m unable to do it . I can ' t say it . She said I just kept visiting her to be reassured that my problems can ' t be solved . But she has nothing to offer me or at least I ' m unable to see it . I ' ve built a structure or a system out of my problems and it ' s impenetrable . Got the feeling that no one can help me and that my problems are unsolvable . That nothing what I try matters .