Is Britain even European nowadays ? <| sep |> he didnt complete the process . <| sep |> Oh yeah , Pires was on loan at Villa . Has to be him right ? <| sep |> So about that franchise tag . Kirk Cousins <| sep |> Wow ! Was that kid annoying . Are you sure he ' s Pierce D . Heart and not Pierce O ' Shit ? Ok , I ' m serious now the setting seemed an AU at first , but , since Raven wants to talk to Qrow about the Fall Maiden and you wrote about canon events in the premises , you should respect RWBY rules . I ' m totally not an expert , but did you make sure the names of your OCs are related to colours ? Second Qrow is a teacher at Signal , if I ' m not mistaken , which is a combat school . I ' m pretty sure there ' s nothing like a traditional PE teacher there . Maybe you can slightly change the setting , so that he can meet his twin and his students in a changing room next to the training grounds or something like that . RWBY school microcosm is pretty vague , so you have plenty of space to mold your own system . Third How come this kid knows so much about Raven ? And what about Never stopped you before ? Except for Raven , his only known relative is Yang . I don ' t want to think about it . Ok , my criticism sounded harsh , especially for a nocontext short skit , but you wrote End Part 1 , so I guess you want to keep this going . I have to say , the dialogue was really good . I didn ' t like what they said , but how they said it was fine fastpaced , vitriolic and appropriately rude . Maybe it just needs some adjustements here and there .