Hopefully , you had a back up ! <| sep |> Romer G feels too close to membrane in my opinion <| sep |> Seems like is quite experienced . in getting out through Hit Wicket . <| sep |> Wow , that sounds super intense , bro . My guess is there ' s really no surprise that you ' d be feeling this waywatching your body change can be weird enough , knowing that you chose to do it to yourself adds a whole new level of rollercoaster . I assume even cis boys go through some of these feelings at puberty . Obviously the difference being that they didn ' t choose and pursue it . But even for them , anticipating it and being taught it was normal for them , I ' d assume there would be some unease . I don ' t think it ' s necessarily a sign you ' ve made the wrong decision or are at increased odds of detransitioning , it just sounds like you ' re one of those people who ' s really tuned into their bodies and feelings . And in the long run that ' s a super good thing . Because if you DO start feeling a sense of wrongness , you ' ll probably pick up on it quickly , and be able to make decisions about HRT before too much time got away from you . This whole thing takes a lot of bravery , a hell of a lot . I ' m about six days from starting , and I ' ve just begun the holy shit , is this what I REALLY want ? phase , despite having known for months that yes , I do . In about a month , I ' m gonna be right where you are today , palfreaking out and questioning myself . But unless you start to feel a longterm sense of wrongness , this is probably just anxiety which sucks , I feel ya .