Real independent media maybe ? Don ' t ask me how , I just know the current situation is ridiculous . <| sep |> really ? Jail House Lock is awesome <| sep |> Heavy . com is not a fake news site . Try again . <| sep |> I got 2 stories for wild turkey . Once in high school , our soccer team had a campout , no guardians style in a valley that ' s amazing . Waipio Valley on the big island . We got someone to buy us 18 40 z of Mickeys and packed 6 people in my Hyundai Sonata with boards strapped to the roof . Parked at the top and walked down . We set up camp and went across the river to a camp fire some random out of state people had made . We were fucking smashed already and this older ladyat the time in her 40 s starts hitting on one of our friends and asks us if we want some wild turkey . I passed but a good portion of my buds did and promptly vomited . Next story was at Oregon Country Fair last year . A couple tabs of LSD later , dressed up in my unicorn onesie , after the fire spinning on the last night of performances , a few of my friends knew one of the better spinners and we got asked to come over and party on their spot . This was a wagon constructed to dictate a first person view of spinning with the bass coming through the woodwork adding a real stimulating experience to the electric light spinning show . Really good shit . So I was smoking weed and passing out a few beers I had stored in my pockets . And this guy ' s like , Man you ' re the coolest fucking unicorn I ' ve ever met . Honestly the only unicorn I ' ve met . Want some wild turkey ? Sure . So he runs off and comes back with a very chilled bottle of whiskey . Cracks the seal and offers me a pull . I chugged a huge pull . Huge mistake . Pass it back promptly and mutter , I ' ll be back ! . Ran off up the trail to the bathrooms because I was about to puke . Didn ' t make it far before puking all over the trail , doing my best to keep it on the sides . Made it to the bathroom , didn ' t have to puke , ran back to camo , drank a beer , and then returned . Never give a unicorn wild turkey ! All the laughs and the party went on .