I notice that when I ' m feeling super confident about myself that ' s the time when thoughts of sinking into effeminacy are much more arousing than when I ' m feeling down . There ' s just something hot about having a high male social status and losing it all . I agree about growing tired with certain themes . I need extreme scenarios to get my dick hard . My new favorite fantasy is having a dominant black boyfriend who keeps me in makeup and women ' s clothes and he makes my white ass red from daily spankings . He uses me orally and anally whenever he pleases . He likes to introduce me to his black family members who get an ego rush of their own seeing a white male reduced to a life of effeminacy and faggotry in permanent submission to a black man .