are you really not smart enough to . never mind . go to voat . it ' s for warning pedo code word incoming voat fuckers . yum pizza . <| sep |> One night , I came home from work . My apartment was a mess so I changed and started cleaning . I was already tired from work so I fell asleep on my living room couch once I straightened up the place . I ' m a really light sleeper and I can wake up at a dime drop . At about three in the morning I heard my doorknob jiggling . I peaked out of my blinds and saw a shadowy figure trying to Jimmy the door open . Scared shitless I didn ' t know what to do . So I banged on the door hopefully to scare them off . I then went back to the window to look at them and once I did they were trying to look into my house . We were standing less than a foot apart . Filled with panic , I cracked the window slightly and at the top of my lungs I yelled , DONT FUCK WITH ME IM A CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER ILL MESS YOU UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM CAPABLE OF The person darted off . The text morning I noticed physical ware around the doorknob and the knob itself loosened and worn out . I have no idea how long they were attempting this or why . Naturally , I moved as soon as I could . But all I have to say is , thank god for deadbolts .