And i just signed up for the 3 month Apple Music trial 2 songs ago . oh well . cant be angry listening to Abel <| sep |> Hey man , I hope you manage to get through this . If you ' re at the point where the only appealing options are prison or death , I do think it would be worth checking into a facility . Torn trousers be damned , your health and your life are much more important than being embarrassed about your clothes . And honestly , I don ' t think it ' s something that needs to be shameful . You ' re in a tough place , you need help and you acknowledge that you need help . Take that first step , that ' s what these facilities and mental health professionals are there for . I can ' t pretend I know what you ' re dealing with , so I ' ll give an analogy that I hope doesn ' t seem too silly . Feel free to tell me I ' m a naive idiot if such is the case I have poor dental health . I have had dental issues all my life , needing lots of work . I stopped going to the dentist when I became an adult and had to start paying for it myself . I put it off longer and longer and longer , until I was getting massive cavities I could practically put my tongue in , and some tooth aches . But I was way too embarrassed to go to the dentist , because I had left it so long . I knew it would be difficult , painful and expensive to get all the work I needed done , so I continued to put it off . I ' ve finally sucked it up and have been going to the dentist , but because I left it so long I now require root canals and other specialist work that is going to cost me thousands of dollars . It didn ' t have to be this way , I could have saved a lot of money and pain if I sorted it out before it became a real issue . Depression is a health issue . It ' s an awful thing that we don ' t treat such a pervasive and potentially very dangerous health issue as we would any other physical health issue . There ' s a lot of stigma attached to it but there doesn ' t need to be . It ' s becoming a lot more understood and accepted these days . Your health is precious , and important . Don ' t let embarrassment or shame get in between you and the help you need . And please don ' t feel like prison or death are the only options you have available . Even if you feel like prison might give you a roof , food , and lack of responsibilities , it ' s not something you want . It ' s almost always a lifetime punishment , even after sentence served . Believe me , as someone who had seen firsthand though study , volunteering , and work . I hope you can get through this , and I believe you can get there if you take the first step . All the best , mate .