I ' m very sorry . It ' s disgustingthe experience you ' ve just told of . I ' m very , very sorry that all of that happened to you . I ' m almost 18 I ' m a guy , and I feel somewhat similar . I ' m very overweight , and that insecurity drags me down . I wish I knew what loving a woman felt like I just haven ' t been so fortunate as of yet . The loneliness hurts a lot . I ' m young don ' t get me wrong . I know people in worse situations than me . Maybe I ' m not an authority on this at all . All I want to say is that I ' m really sorry for all the shit you ' ve been throughI feel some of it too . It ' s not your fault that society has such cruel ways of judging peopleI ' d say it ' s much worse for women than for men . I really like the way you write about this . If at all possible , try to remind yourself of the things you like about yourself . Self love can make the lack of external love a little more bearable .