It certainly happens . Especially among people who are addicted , and want booze or drugs more than food . <| sep |> Thanks for filling in a bit more about your situation . No , you shouldn ' t have to live like that but . it does sound like she didn ' t misrepresent herself you before the wedding . You just convinced yourself that somehow she would change . And now you ' ve hit the wall and you know she won ' t . It isn ' t inherently bad to ask for or want an open relationship . I am in one , ostensibly , but my situation is so different from yours that I don ' t think it can compare . But there are two factors here that make your iteration of it less than idealOnly open for you . That isn ' t actually an open relationship it ' s permission for you to have affairs . If what you are getting out of the realtionship with your wife is companionship and commitment , how would her having a lover change that , while your having one doesn ' t ? Either you recognize that it doesn ' t , because it ' s just servicing yourself with a live human being , or you realize that it does change something fundamental . And I think you do realize that or you wouldn ' t have a problem with asking her to truly open the relationship . And that ' s the second issue if a realtionship is already having trouble , opening it up doesn ' t help the realtionship . It has a tendency to undermine the foundations of commitment and trust . It leads to conflict of interest that leads to feelings of betrayal and resentment . Having sex with another person isn ' t liking deciding to join a book club . Your fuck buddy counts , too . If she doesn ' t , you won ' t have a fuck buddy for long . There is no comparison between porn binges and even a FWB . So , I do understand your frustration and how great it seems it would be to just be able to step out , know you wife is safe at home , happy to do her thing , and you get your rocks off elsewhere . I guess you could ask . but I can see how it would most likely be just a painful leadin to a divorce in the future . That ' s my take , anyway .