You know , internet strangers have saved my mental life and balance more than once . I know this feeling of being unconsciously afraid of Xmas because of that , once we grow up . I suggest you find something more interesting to do with the same situation . For example , in my town , they change Xmas decoration style every year . So I just go out in the evening , walk and take photographs , watch how people of every age get excited about the shiny lights . Or I just put some other music not Xmas songs on my phone and go listen to it while walking . Or I just choose a film to watch not a Xmas film , but something totally different I ' d have chosen any other day of the year . Or I just . you name it ! But please don ' t be static . Do something that pleases you . Best of luck !