I , on the other hand , read it as hey there , we know you are NC and hurting but we ' re still here and we still think about you . Based on your perspective of things , you might find my ideas a bit harsh . My impressions based on what you ' ve written here tell me that her N family is only interested in abusing her . They are sad she ' s put up boundaries and gone NC because they miss their chew toy and that ' s it . The thing with Ns is that they do not love or have empathy . Their version of love is distorted and unhealthy . While that hurts a lot to think about , I think it ' s critical to keep that in mind when trying to heal from their abuse . Therefore NC is the safest thing to do . Not trying to diagnose or tell you what to do , just giving my opinions and how I personally rationalize the whole Nexperience ! Currently working on eventually going NC with my Nparents now , and it ' s a confusing difficult process . I wish you both luck in whatever you decide to do ~ just keep being there for your wife as you have been ! Sounds like you two are very strong together