My bad , by advantageous MTX I meant specifically TH possibly leg pets but they ' re not even that good , I just worded it badly . I don ' t have a problem with bonds , they ' re how I subscribe too . <| sep |> Lol this is fucking funny . These guys do really good work too apparently , my parents use them when they need a plumber <| sep |> I was walking to my car when I noticed my pants were on fire . I turned to my friend and said , I think were going to need an oven and fast . He grabbed me with his soggy fingers and said . Snap out of it , Man . Then he proceeded to chant and walk in circles around me . I looked down , My pants were still on fire , but by this time it had spread to my Uterus and three other ligaments . I was getting pretty agitated that no one seemed to care about my third degree burns , or my soon imminent death , but I went along with his plan still hoping he ' d manage to save me through his voodoo witchcraft . After I came out of my trance from the fire I noticed that I was now in the kitchen of my grandma ' s house baking a cake . I Screamed WHAT THE F ? My Grandma ran in and slapped the s outta me for cursing . Then she proceeded to say , I swear if you talk like that 5 more times , I ' ll beat the living s outta you . I was quite confused as to what was going on and what I did to deserve this true life mad lib . I just stood there in silence with a look of uttermost confusion . and I starred at the women who had once been a kind sweet old lady , who wouldn ' t even kill a baby piglet , now turned into this vicious beast of a monster with veins protruding from her neck like a porcupines quills on a midsummer day . She gasped , and then with the blink of an eye turned back into the sweet old lady I had once known . Would you like some cookies , dear ? Ummm Yes , grandma . As she went to retrieve the cookies , I was planning my escape . Looking around pondering what unimaginable thing would happen next if I stayed . As my grandma neared the corner with her plate of cookies , I ran to the door as fast as my burning legs would take me . As I made my silent escape I heard grandma yell , You forgot your cookies dear Little did she know I didn ' t give a s about those cookies . As I ran I thought about my previous life and how this whole day had been more interesting than my Whole entire life on earth had . I began to ponder if this was karma kicking my a for just sitting on the laptop all day typing short stories for little to no pay . When I decided to stop and catch my breath , I wiped the sweat from my face and looked up to see what else this new world had to offer . Far off in the distance I could see a huge building , maybe a hotel or some sort of jail . I wasn ' t too sure . but I marked that location off my list , the last thing I needed was to go to a jail and get killed by a bunch of mobsters . I mean Hell my pants were already on Fire . I decided to turn to my left and see what my next choice would be . There were flying cantaloupes , rainbows and songs of happiness near by , I mean I was a little frightened by the flying fruit but I ' ll take this any day over Prison inmates . I skipped closer and closer to the festivities and when I arrived I seen all my friends I had went to high school with there were holding hands and singing Kumbayah around the camp ice . Yes It was a giant block of ice situated on three wood logs . I felt much more comforted here than I did at my grandmas . I took a deep breath of relief and I thought Maybe , this day is getting better . I joined hands and with Germany and Tokyo and began to sing with everyone else , but as soon as I Belched out my voice changed to an annoying high pitched squeal . Similar to ringing in your ears . Everyone turned toward me and gave me the death stare and I knew I had screwed up once again , they all walked in slow motion towards me saying the same familiar chant I had heard earlier , before anyone could reach me I awoke in a frantic sweaty rush in my bed . My legs were no longer on fire