You sure got him . <| sep |> Remarkably hard . And it ' s not just about saying no , but being honest and not lying to yourself when expressing yourself to others . I have noticed I am very concerned with my selfimage and others expectations of me subconsciously . My ego is overpowering me . At the same time , I am leaning towards the peoplepleasing side , albeit I am continually improving by trying to put my needs first on my priority list . I don ' t view this as being selfish I just want to stay true to myself . But that ' s why it ' s hard to defeat the people pleasing mentality , because at one end if you put yourself always first and see yourself as something higher than everyone else you are feeding your ego and creating this separation line between yourself and others . And on the other end of the spectrum , you are putting your dreams aside you are scared of what others might think of you . So I believe we need to follow the middle path , get grounded in our values and even sometimes lean to the asshole side . A bird that goes into the tree and starts singing it ' s song . One person comes and thanks to the bird Oh bird thank you for the song , I love it , you make my day the bird goes I don ' t give a fuck about you , I ' m just doing what I do . Another guy goes by Bird fuck you , I can ' t sleep go sing somewhere else I hate you the bird is Well , I don ' t give a shit about you , I do , what I do I sing . You have this very precise mental image of yourself a kind , noble , caring human being . You want validation of that image you want to be approved and loved . You are trying extremely hard to architect your life to fit that image . When you hear evidence contradicting the selfimage , it triggers you it sends you to overdrive to work extra hard to correct that . You want approvement that you ' re good and no disamprovement . While it ' s good being nice and empathetic , you can ' t be . You are a living organism made out of 13 trillion cells , those cells are themselves living organisms , you are not even in control of how selfish you are , you are an incredibly selfish organism and to deny this nature within you is a challenge , because when you deny that you are selfish that ' s rubbing against your basic nature . When you put others above yourself , you are declaring war against yourself Anger , resentment starts bottling up . Deep ways I don ' t express myself honestlyI laugh at jokes that I don ' t find funny . I smile everywhere . You might not see the problem of smiling , but it ' s not that generous smile you might imagine , it ' s the people pleasing , hide your emotions smile . That being said . I hide my feelings . I avoid being vulnerable . Check this video for more HZm 4 B 4 foybM