Oooh okay . <| sep |> Did you just fucking mansplain that shitlord <| sep |> As for the coat , arteryx . As for the ' brella make that shit outta more coats . <| sep |> as long as youre training your main character , it absolutely will work <| sep |> I am most thankful for Frankie Edgar . <| sep |> That ' s not what I got at all . As a person who had abusive parents in my childhood , I amwas very grateful for Stefan ' s advice about leaving abusive family . Abusive behavior , be it physical , sexual , or verbalemotional is not comparatively minor infractions . And Stefan ' s advice to leave family members largely centers around leaving abusive family members behind . I was in abusive relationships with my parents for over 3 decades of my life it was listening to Stefan ' s advice , among other things , that finally , finally gave me the strength , courage , and realization that I needed to finally extricate myself from these lifelong trauma bonds formed with my abusers . When Stefan does describe comparatively minor infractions he is describing those infractions within the context of abusive relationships . A family member acting passiveaggressive or manipulative at times may sound minor , but that is not at all the case when these behaviors take place within the context of ongoing , familial abuse . Stefan ' s work is speaking specifically about abusive patterns of behavior among family members , and these infractions are just part of a larger picture of cruel , abusive , and even violent parental treatment towards those of us who have been victims since birth . A person from a healthy or functional family cannot really fathom what it is like to grow up with your mind so twisted and fucked from years of psychological , physical , or sexual abuse . And what Stefan says is absolutely critical information for any of us who have grown up in that kind of sick and twisted family environment whether one ultimately takes his advice or not , it is critical that his information and advice be out there for people to see . Edit And , even to this day , many psychologists , much to the detriment of former victims of child abuse , believe that the parentchild bonds are so critical and important that a former victim must stay in abusive relationships with parents , and continue to try to work it out with sick , dysfunctional , and heinous excuses of parents . Most therapists and psychologists believed this in the past up until about the 1980 s , and now , thank goodness , it is beginning to change , with people like Stefan it is hardly only him finally telling victims of abuse to leave their abusers . But there are still many , many therapists who think victims must stay with their abusers . Strangely , if a spouse beats his partner , everyone tells the partner heshe must leave . But when its parents being abusive , suddenly , the advice is you must stay . Stefan represents the newer model of helping former victims of child abuse recover those who criticize his advice largely represent an old and dying idea that victims must say with their abusers , because parents . Yeah my post was way too long , but I really support Stefan ' s advice in this respect .