ALT ! !? you are a lifesaver ! !! new player here <| sep |> Yeah , I totally get that . Somehow for me , despite being also hard to bear , it was kinda validating as well . In my head a lot still feels very foggy and somehow JJ showing all these patterns and situations and clearly stating This is bad , this is abuse , this causes lasting harm to people cleared it up a bit . It felt a lot like when my therapist told me No , really , it was bad . What you went through was truly horrible and traumatic . I ' m very welltrained at invalidating myself and still trying to unlearn this and it just feels good to have an outside source back me up on stuff . On the other hand , when the fog was gone , I saw some stuff clearly that was not very nice and I had apparently been trying to not remember before . So that was painful , but facing up to it also kind of felt like progress .