When fascism comes to the United States , it will come in the form of condemnation of the last round of fascists , and the denunciation of their hated enemy as the same <| sep |> Another HL husband here . I posted here a few days ago with similar concerns . I found the resources here , under Low Sexual Desire , , to be very helpful . We had our talk this evening . It started off quite awkwardly , but actually improved as it went . I explained that there wasn ' t an amount of sex that I needed , but rather a level of intimacy . Our times of intimacy had diminished drastically over the years . I explained that I wanted our old ways to come back and how we used to be happy to just spend an hour or two talking and touching each other rubs , tickles , etc . I think she finally got it when I explained how I perceive things . For example , and I used these words , when I see her legs , I imagine myself caressing her legs and feeling their smoothness against my fingertips . When I see a curl of her hair come loose , I want to play it and twirl it in my fingers . When I playfully pat her on the butt , I see myself taking her in raw and carnal sex . Why ? Because I live my life seeing things that instantly make me think of an experience and something I want to share with her . But what does she see ? She sees deadlines , goals , tasks , etc . She worries about her work or outstanding tasks . Or if it ' s during sex , she worries about the goal of getting me off . So as gently as I could , I asked her to try not think of these things as tasks , but rather as experiences . For example , the point of walking together in a park isn ' t to make it to the end , but rather to enjoy our company during the walk . The same goes for sex . You and her shouldn ' t be working towards an orgasm , but rather enjoying the bedroom play . And that ' s exactly what it should be , play . So , don ' t tell her you want more sex . Tell her you need more time of just the two of you with no distractions . And only from there will things improve . Either she ' ll ignore your concerns and indirectly answer a very important question for you , or she ' ll take your concerns into consideration and act on them . Either way , your relationship will mature in the direction it ' s supposed to go .