The way I see it , there ' s two strands to this . Can you be Sophia ' s friend is one , and should you let her crash with you is another . Regarding being her friend , I think it ' s important that you understand her relationship was quite probably already abusive and controlling , and standing up for Chad and allowing him to abuse you was something she had little agency over at the time . She may have already learned that for her own wellbeing she had to be 100 % on his side all the time . But it ' s also important to know that this doesn ' t make all those horrible experiences you had go away , and it doesn ' t make them any less horrible . Understanding and forgiving someone ' s actions does not mean your relationship automatically returns to what it was before . You can try to understand and forgive her without an interest in being her friend again . Many people eventually find forgiveness for the parents who abused them as children , for example , but that doesn ' t mean they have to go there for Thanksgiving . Sometimes forgiveness only works if we don ' t have to see that person and have that reminder again . How you feel about Sophia may take a while to work through . Now , should you let her stay with you ? My instinct is ' yes ' and my instinct is wrong . I suspect that you ' re conflicted partially because you , like me , have a general desire to be helpful and kind . As others have pointed out , I would worry for your safety if Chad were to come looking . But I also don ' t think it would be good for Sophia . She is going to need a lot more support than you can provide , and she may need to be somewhere that he definitely can ' t find her . She may need help finding work , getting benefits , help with her mental health you can ' t provide all that . What she needs most is specialised domestic violence support . Here ' s what I would suggest you do . Regardless of her prior behaviour , she ' s a human being and she ' s in serious danger , so I do think you should help her . You should help her find domestic violence charities who can get her somewhere safe , you should help her work out who the right people to call are in her area and should tell her she ' s doing the right thing by leaving . You could offer bus fare to a shelter if needbe . But I think any more than that is going to be bad for you , and is going to stop her from seeking the professional support she needs . Don ' t let her rely on you to do a job you ' re not trained in . Support from a distance and make it clear that she needs to be somewhere which is more equipped to support her and which is safer than what you can provide . Good luck . You ' re in a really horrible situation here . I hope it all works out okay .