You are going to peak and then pass this physical discomfort . You are going to eventually feel a wave of relief after you recognize you are on the downward slope of that painful hill you just climbed . This is the most dangerous part . Know this now . THIS IS THE HARDEST PART . Your brain can and will try to trick you in these stages of feeling a little bit better every day . It will make you think this is not a problem and you can easily get over the withdrawls again . It will ask you what was the big deal ? and it will try its best to make you forget how much you hated the addiction and the withdrawls . It sounds like you have a great support system since you have been honest about the issue with your spouse . Keep that line of communication open and remind your brain how much you dont want to ever do this again . Exercise as much as you can . Never cave and give in to any tricks of the brain . Keep up the pursuit to stay clean and you will make it . P . S . Dont focus on the last 1 . 5 years and how they were lived . Those days are over . Focus on today . Focus on where you are going to be in one hour , one day , week , year . The past is the past . You got this .