I was playing my Panharmonicon deck against the deck in the image . Opponent reanimated Red Gearhulk , I then cast Saheeli ' s Artistry on it , getting two Red Gearhulks and doubling both triggers . Drew a cool 12 cards . <| sep |> It ' s the drugs and what you say and do while your on them and what you say and do when you don ' t feel good in their absence that ultimately make you feel depressed . It ' s depressing as shit feeling like these drugs are your only way to feel happy . I ' m still not 100 % convinced I can be completely sober one day without some form of substance in my life , but I ' m giving this a shot . It ' s better than cold turkey and I don ' t like the whole 12 step thing because I can ' t get over the whole higher power thing . Especially living in the bible belt . I will tell you though , I ' ve had clean time before . I was most definitely not depressed like I was when the drugs wereare in my life . The drugs aren ' t the root cause of it , but they antagonize it . They make it so much worse .