Aah the fun paradox of punishment V funishment . Positive reinforcement does work , BUT it would require a lot more time and energy than you probably have at the moment . At least from my experience , Ds dynamics that omit the punishment aspect then require much more handson and focused attention to the sub because now , to reinforce a behavior , you need to set a precedent that all or most good behavior has a rewarding result . And that . is exhausting . I ' d suggest finding punishments rooted in tedium and repetition , not pain and shame . Not that there ' s anything wrong with those punishments , just that from your post they do not seem to jive with your situation . Things like , having her write lines if she makes a mistake . Or writing essays . Having been on the receiving end of a few brattysubessayassignments , I loathe the thought . But it is effective because . well . it is not enjoyable . Forcing them to kneel in a corner for X amount of time , with the time resetting each time they fidgetlose proper postureetc . Giving them very repetitive , menial cleaning tasks is a favorite of mine too . Give them a box of qtips , and tell them to clean the entire bathroomcar d a s h b oardrefrigeratorbookshelf . They look so grumpy by the end of it , it ' s great . There are also painful punishments that may not elicit the happymasochist response from her . Things like holding hot pepper or mouthwash in the mouth for an extended period of time , or figging , if you are feeling up to the challenge of dealing with a squealing flailing sub . I wish you the best of luck !