I think it accurate to say that many of we recovering alcoholics have discovered much to our dismay that a wellliked friends was merely a drinking bud slash enabler slash encourager who if we were lucky happened to also share a nondrinking likelove of a hobby or activity , etc . I ' m embarrassed to admit that during my drinking career I have been that person too . But never did I ever act so cold and disrespectful of another friend ' s feelings ! Wow , stiffed you on Thanksgiving to go drinking ! . . . The other side of the pendulum swing says to me that they did you a big favor by showing you their true selves , and I say ugly on them ! Me , I ' d cut them loose , and that would also go for their insider friends whom I ' d consider potentially guilty by association even if those people were not drinkersdruggers because birds of a feather really do flock together and why risk uptodate gossip and status reports coming back to your exfriends via their friends ? ! This is what I would not do I wouldn ' t make a scene . I wouldn ' t have a public drama . I wouldn ' t out them to anyone including coworkers especially if someall of us worked together or knew people in common . Because that ' s something that could start an all out war or even simply mild unpleasantness and why ever would someone want to risk bringing that down on their head ? ! Nope , I ' d simply make myself unavailable . I ' d politely turn down invites . Probably coupled with a reasonable excuse so to avoid an issue . I ' d be polite and friendly were one of these boors to drop in but don ' t dread that a dry houseand don ' t allow any gift to be uncorked in your homeTrust me the uninvited won ' t stay long . 910 heshe will suddenly remember they had somewhere they had to be and something unavoidable to do there . Trust me on this too Word will quickly spread . No need to change your job , number , or address . They will move on . You , you move on too . PS JMO , mind you , but there ' s a lot of worthwhile people in our Great Big World , and I have a feeling they would be very lucky to be your friend .