At any Thanksgiving I ' ve been trying to get guests to take away as much of the leftovers as possible is the norm . Usually it ' s constrained by the number of casserole dishes which can be lent . Guests who brought their own containers would be welcome indeed . <| sep |> I feel really alone . The only person I talk to on a regular basis is my mom but she is constantly in my space , smothering me , controlling me , and everything she does makes me cringe . I talk to people at work and maybe three friends who don ' t live near me , but really I ' m too ashamed of myself to talk to anyone outside my counselor about my issues . I don ' t see her as much as I should too . I have to tell her I want to go somewhere else and I ' m scared to go through with it . I spend my days daydreaming and having fake conversations in my head with people . I have so much to say but no one is here to listen to me . I should start keeping a journal because it makes me sad that all my thoughts disappearing in an echo chamber . Also , I miss having a boyfriend . I miss the physical touch the most right now .