Maybe my intellect is a well crafted defensive mask . I ' m a loner , not a nice one , and I don ' t trust easily . <| sep |> GRILL them . I am serious . And be honest . Don ' t tell them it ' s just one night a month . IT ISN ' T . You make it seem light , they will treat it lightly , and poof , they ' ll be gone before you know it . Tell them it is hard work , but that you believe it to be worthwhile . Emphasize this . Be honest about costs as well . You don ' t want some guy insisting on wearing jeans to a meeting because Hey , nobody told me I ' d have to invest in not looking like a bum ! . And make it clear that you have all the secrets , and that they want them . THEY are the lowly , uninitiated , profane postulate . You don ' t need them . Do NOT appear needy . You are doing them a favour in even considering them . Show