Yes please oh god i want to see this <| sep |> So does this mean I get to choose ? God and Satan , sitting behind a desk red on Satan ' s side and white on God ' s , are silent . God strokes his long beard , and says , Let ' s check the numbers agaSatan interrupts him , hissing . We ' ve checked the numbers God knows how many timesTwenty . God says . Thank you , twenty times and it ' s been the same every single time ! 115 to 115 ! Satan straightens his blood red tie and flashes a wicked smile toward me , showing off his sharp teeth . Listen , I ' ll cut you a deal kidI ' m twenty five . I said , slightly annoyed . And we ' re six billion , you ' re a toddler . Anyway , come to hell and you ' d be able to indulge in all the sins you want ! Sex , drugs , rock and roll . God and I both chuckled at the reference . Well my son , I know you never believed in me , but I ' ve watched you , God said , his pure white robes shimmering under the fluorescent light . Creepy . I said bluntly . True , but I am your father , in a sense . Heaven is a wonderful place . There is no hate , only love and peace , all I have ever wanted in the world . Satan interrupted again , and I caught a glimpse of a forked tongue . Yeah , and no free will . The only reason everyone ' s so happy go lucky up there is because none of them have thoughts of their own ! I nod slowly . Both of you make good points , but both heaven and hell sound awesome in their own right ! Out of nowhere , I get an idea . What if we pull a Buddhist move and resurrect me ? That way I ' ll probably tip the scale one way or the other . God nods , turning to Satan . Satan begrudgingly nods as well . Very well , I shall resurrect you . But you will have no recollection of this , and will die again soon . It is time for you to die , but these are extraordinary circumstances . God snaps his fingers , and just before I black out I hear Satan whisper Sex , drugs , rock and roll . I woke up slowly , the bright light glaring in my eye . What just happened . I groaned , a dull headache throbbing it ' s way into my thoughts . You got in a car crash . Some drunk idiot driving on the wrong side of the road . It ' s a miracle you survived ! I slowly opened my eyes to see who was talking to me , and saw a rather large and bald man . There ' s no such thing as miracles , doc . Only probability . I said softly . Oh I ' m not a doctor , I ' m just a nurse , he said in a deep , gravelly voice . You were in critical condition for a while , but it looks like you ' ll be fine now . A few days later , I was discharged from the hospital . My wife drove me home , and we turned onto our home street when some idiot in a Prius careened into the front of the car . Suddenly , I was standing in front of an eerily familiar office door . My wife was standing next to me , more confused than anything else . My memories came flooding back , and I laughed . I pulled open the door in front of me , and there were God and Satan , bickering once again . They looked over to us , and Satan groaned . Great , he brought another one !