That level of ' metacognition ' is unusual at 19 . Also , people who think like that cereberal people like me don ' t go trumpeting it out loud so that other people know . I thought like you for a while and stressed that I ' d never find the right person , then I had my first relationship and realised that it ' s perfectly acceptable to have relationships that might fail with people who aren ' t perfectly compatible because the mere experience of a relationship with them in and of itself is valuable and makes you a better thinker feeler . And then there ' s the fact that I found out that being in control and intimately understanding yourself and why you do what you do and more importantly for you , I feel , being the type of person who WANTS to understand these things is not actually ' all that ' and there are far more admirable and beautiful things I found other people possessing that I did not . And it was wonderful just being able to enjoy these wonderful things that other people did in relationships , merely for the sake of it . Also you have to consider the fact that people with these behaviours , as I said , don ' t go about telling other people . Why ? Because they sound arrogant as hell . So people who have these ways of thinking or feeling and these desires to constantly analyse their own thoughts and actions bury the fact that they want and do these things deep inside . And finding out someone ' s fundamental values and beliefs is going to take time . You ' re going to have to work from the top common interests down to the middle relationships with friends , life situation to the bottom relationships with family , life goals and aspirations and then , if you ' re lucky , to the core fundamental insecurities , fundamental values and beliefs . And as I said that takes time . Real time and effort that you ' ll have to invest in a relationship . You can ' t even judge a book by it ' s cover , much less ddiscover the author ' s fundamental meanings and messages about how we treat the justice system , just by looking at the front cover . You have to read that book through , multiple times . You have to study that book and look up resources about studying books . You might even have to talk to someone who understands that book intimately so they can teach you about the subtext and messages within it . But you can ' t get all the from the cursory once over that dating sites give . And I say this big metaphor meaning that you simply won ' t be able to find what you ' re looking for on the faces that people show to the world . I understand you , I do . I MEAN it . Reading your post resonated with me in so many ways . I was actually like that about a year ago I still am but I don ' t feel like it ' s a be all and end all in relationships now and I was distressed because everyone I knew seemed so ' not cerebral ' But I began to realise later on that most people just hid it under the surface because it ' s condescending to go around parading your own ability to understand your actions like it ' s a rare , or valuable , or virtuous quality . Your problem is not that you have high standards , but that you have high expectations . Learn to lower your expectations or seek less long term relationships esp at your age bc few others your age are looking for those and if they are then they ' re looking for their fucking soulmate so like you they ' ll have ludicrous expectations that you won ' t be able to live up to . Also , taking this hypercereberal way of thinking into a relationship with another person who doesn ' t show it or talk about it will make you think of them as lesser than you because the same has happened to me and it ' s a mistake I regret making so much and it WILL frustrate them to no end because you will seem so cold and , more importantly , condescending to them . And that ' ll make them resentful . Let this metacognitive strength become of less importance to you , in a partner , or at least let it be something you look for in people after you ' ve been dating them for more than half a year and give strangers a chance . But good luck dude . Trust me , I was someone like you until I decided to say yes to a girl who was the complete opposite of cereberal after she confessed to me . Then I fell in love for the first time ever and how I thought about my priorities changed significantly with handson experience .