Finally taught myself how to tie them <| sep |> Isn ' t it also likely that a company with a billion dollar advertising budget look it up would frequently post on one of the most popular sites on the internet ? <| sep |> I live in RI and I have no idea whether this joke is about our size or our states size . <| sep |> im not sure how 2 have thick skin <| sep |> You cannot make someone else take responsibility for their well being and make good choices . Its just not within your power . You arent giving up . You cannot do all the work of a relationship . At some point you are going to have to put yourself first , a place where you havent been in many many years . Shut the marriage down , divorce her , stick with the therapy to rebuild your self esteem , confidence , and learn to trust your own judgement again . Then you will learn to have healthy boundaries AND defend them . You have to be able to draw that line in life to protect yourself . If you dont , you will be at great risk . You have to decide that you matter . That you didnt deserve this . That she came into the relationship deceptively , and went about using you and abusing you . This was never a good relationship . You are not a failure of a man , you are not responsible for other peoples actions . Her choices , they arent about you not being worthy or a good person deserving to be treated with respect . Shut every thing down . Divorce , do what you have to do financially to protect yourself . And build that support system you are going to need . Family , friends , therapist , invest in that support system . You do deserve it . Im so sorry you have been through all this . It can and will get better .