I still have your problem you ' re describing right now . I had it a lot worse when I was younger , but over the years my job FORCED me to hang out with my coworkers all the time , sometimes up to a year non stop I was in the Army . This is going to sound cliche , but you just have to be yourself man . Do not be afraid to speak your mind or disagree with someone . If you have an opinion , politely butt in and say I respect your opinion , but you ' re wrong as f $ k , with a smile of course . Also being yourself I love to sing , especially when I ' m driving in my car . So guess what I did at work or when I ' m around the guys when I ' m first seeing them ? I ' d yell rap lyrics at the top of my head and see if they knew what I was talking about . This showed I ' m goofy and not too serious , and gives them a topic to talk about , music . People also respect others who are passionate about something . It can be something as stupid as why blue is your favorite color of the sky . But if you truly love it , and express that with others , it often inspires them . I am obsessed with rap and how artists can string together a bunch of words and puns with a dope beat and make that shit FRESH TO DEATH SON , and I tell other people about it whenever the situation is appropriate . People will laugh and joke around about it with me , but they feel more open to me because I express something that to others might seem weird because I ' m a white guy from the country . Also have common interests . Ton ' s of dudes love sports and especially football , but to me that crap is retarded , I don ' t watch sports , I play them . So instead I have lots of hobbies . I got way too many , but it gives me common ground to talk on . I paintball , ride fourwheelers , own a motorcycle , pilot airplanes , own guns , like video games , play racquetball and pickleball , like to hike , hunt , and a billion other things . Let me give you an example of using a hobby as a topic of discussion . My stepdad has a buddy , who is retired Army and was a pilot . Me and his buddy don ' t have all that much in common , but we have TWO major connections , the Army , and flying I told you I pilot airplanes . So guess what I talk about everytime I see him ? Flying and the Army . After talking about that for a while it opened up other topics because we became comfortable speaking to one another . Another cliche . Stop trying to hard man . People see that crap and it turns them off . People respect someone who is them self , and doesn ' t compromise that . Don ' t bend too much just to try and fit in . With that said , be willing to bend to some degree , depending on the audience . I am a TOTALLY different person around family friends , then I am with my Army buddies . Do not be afraid to smile , or laugh around others . If they say something funny or awkward , respond to it . If you have self confidence issues and it makes you afraid to do this , you need to address that . People like how others make THEM feel . If you make people feel happy and smart and interesting , they will respond to you . Don ' t focus on making friends , focus on making them feel good about a conversation you had . Last but not least , some people just aren ' t looking to add more to their tribe . They might have a good group of people , and don ' t really see the need to add anyone else . So here ' s my advice , make your own damn tribe man . Find someone who might seem like yourself , not the most outgoing person every , and get to know them . You will be surprised how well you get along , because here ' s a secret they ' re a normal human being just like you .