Hey Brandy , in terms of formatting , I ' d personally get rid of the header change just for the shot of the TV bit , I reckon it ' s fine to keep it continuous there . Storywise , perhaps you could even start on a short moment of Julian at work , making a mistake that ' s noted by his chipped supervisors and coworkers . He ' s established as the odd one out . The pressurestakes are then raised when learn about his personal situation , perhaps Abby could hint at a frustration at his unwillingness to adapt and get a chip . If you need to make a cut to fit your 4 page criteria , I ' d suggest cutting the waiting room scene . Maybe Julian could escape the chip only to return home to find Abby chipped at the end ? Just a thought . For the dialogues , I ' d say that the construction boss and the doctor feel a bit generic but they get the plot points across . As ughh 02 mentioned , if it ' s for a class , I ' m sure you ' ll get some great feedback from your teacher peers .