I hear this a lot . I have two lines of thought , generally There is something sexually you are unsatisfied with in your current relationship that you haven ' t identified You really enjoy the process of figuring out a new sexual partner ' s sexual preferences or simply , like having a new and novel sexual partner and are past a point where you can do that with your wifeIn either case , there are several possible solutions . Experimenting a little in the bedroom is the least controversial solution , but has the greatest potential for failure . I would still say you should try , though . Browse some fetishes , see if anything grabs you and the missus . Second , you probably need some level of discussion with your wife regarding your relationship . Not necessarily a should we be together talk , but at least something about what you want your marriage to be as it continues past the decade mark , both personally and sexually . I suspect that she has noticed the dip in your sex life and would probably welcome a talk about what can be done to bring it up again , even if it might be a little painful . Above all , if you actually follow through with finding a side partner and don ' t somehow come to an arrangement with your wife where she knows about this openly and explicitly , you really need to consider your marriage over . This is a line you cannot cross and still call yourself a husband . You may find that you still want to cross that line , but if you do you need to accept the full consequences . Don ' t cheat , it will slowly kill you inside .