How do I tell them without them hating me , disowning me , or thinking that I am doomed in the after life ? Probably not possible . You don ' t have control over thisthey do . It may come with time , but if this is how they reacted to your sister , I don ' t know if you can change this by changing your delivery of the news . Don ' t subject yourself to the awful stuff they ' re doing do your sister . Either wait as others have said or just be willing to accept the loss of support . When you do tell them , do it with confidence and set boundaries for communication . You are acting according to your own morals , just like they are , and you deserve respect . If they are cruel , leave the house , hang up the phone , block text messages , filter emails , etc . And definitely , band together with your sister so you can give each other support and validation .