If they had a defense and running game he wouldn ' t need to carry the team . They can just roll over people . <| sep |> It ' s been a while since I saw the videos , but I think something was wrong with her abdomen . A bad molt is really hard for a tarantula to recover from . It ' s how I lost my g . rosea . Poor guy turned over and never got his exuvium off . I never found out what exactly went wrong . <| sep |> Reading through your comments , it sounds like you ' re in a pretty bad place . I ' ll go out on a limb and suggest something , it ' s up to you if you want to check it out why not try meditation , or a relationship with a higher power ? I ' m not trying to convert you or anything , so don ' t worry I used to be very depressed , but after meditating and praying for a while I feel quite a bit better about myself . I don ' t feel as sensitive to the world or other people because they ' re mostly foolish anyway . But I find that if you open yourself up to a Higher PowerGod and try to feel that Presence , it can be very helpful and expansive for you . But the hardest step was getting out of my negativedepressing point of view , which was very selfcentered and restricting . It took a leap of faith and being willing to face the unknown to really feel something in meditation . That and persistence . When you can see that you are actually connected to life and all other people , simply because all life everywhere is individually conscious and expanding itself , then you can feel impersonally connected to that Spirit . Here ' s a great autobiography , of an Indian yogi , that really helped me . He talks about his early life and spirituality , then training and journeying to the west . and talks a lot of the power of the human mind and potential , and explains a lot of the miraculousmysterious things that happened in his life . Many inner workings of spirituality are explained that are quite interesting , although you may not understand or believe all of it which is okay . In any case , you might like it it ' s a really addictive read , as good as any modern novel . Even if you don ' t believe in God or spirituality , why not try looking at it with an open mind it can help you . I know that when I was suffering , I would have given ANYTHING to get out of it , psychological suffering is the worst kind IMO . Thankfully this book and others came along . So my advice to you is to give this a chance , if your life really is as grim as your posts make it to be .