The list of internet heros ? <| sep |> Good waytofire back boys <| sep |> Yeah . not sure what ' s up . <| sep |> I was waiting for the destiny comment . Get off that band Wagon already . If the shoe was on the other foot you guys would be up in arms too . <| sep |> This is really good . <| sep |> Shawly we ' ve not lost yet ! <| sep |> They say that when you reach a certain point in your life not a certain age , but a certain point that you can go down to a certain crossroad on a certain countryside lane in Georgia , at a certain hour of the morning , and you are guaranteed to meet a tall , dark man in a floppy hat and old trenchcoat standing beneath a gnarled , old oak tree . After cancer took my wife , I followed my feet until I was standing before that man . So you ' re not a genie , I asked , but you grant wishes ? Correct , he said . There ' s only one thing my wife ever wanted , and it ' s one of the things I loved about her . I wish for world peace . OK , then , he said . Then he got to work . D ? he muttered into the cell phone . It ' s me . Yeah . Get the boys together . It ' s time . As he said this , he held his forefinger and thumb together , pointed his arm to the sky , and flicked his fingers apart . As he did so , the clouds parted in the sky . A trumpet sounded in the distance , then a thunderous braying , and an army of golden , winged beings came pouring from the gap in the sky , lead by four horse riders . My awe at this sight was shaken by the strange language the dark man was now speaking into his cell . As he clicked the phone off , an earthquake began rumbling from the West , and a giant blue woman came over the horizon , swinging a brutally edged weapon in each of her six arms , rasping curses from each of her two heads . Another call , and a ray of light beamed down from the sun , shimmering into reality another giant , this one with the head of a bird , like a falcon . Once fully materialized , the birdgiant began shooting fire from its eyes , burning away anything in its path . As the two giants worked their way devastating the countryside , they paused as they crossed each other and nodded in acknowledgement , as two laborers would while sweeping a gym the floor , then went back to their catastrophe . What are you doing ? I screamed at the man . World peace , he stated . What you wished for . This isn ' t peace , I shouted , pointing as a Chinese serpent roared across the sky , drawing tornadoes behind it . This is the apocalypse ! Life brings with it chaos . You want peace ? Soon , there will be nothing but peace across this world . This isn ' t what I wanted at all . Each word fell out of my mouth like a row of falling bowling balls . You humans , the dark man spat . Of all the species across all the worlds in all the dimensions , never have I encountered one that thinks everything is about you . One wishes for a billion dollars , but complains when one of his oil tankers crashes into the coast . Another wishes for her crush to fall in love with her , and cries herself to sleep because she doesn ' t know how to get away from his drunken beatings and take all three of her kids with her . It was too much to take in , and I stood frozen , staring . A bearded man in a cloud streaked by hurling lightning bolts . The man ' s answers brought only more questions . Why are you doing this ? Why me ? The man threw up his arms , exasperated . Do you know the story of Rumpelstiltskin ? The Mother Goose story ? More Brothers Grimm , but close enough . Girl wishes for gold , Stilts spins it from straw , he demands her child in exchange unless she can learn his name . Seems a bit arbitrary , ya ? I nodded . Well , there are rules to things . A certain order to the universe . We can ' t act until certain conditions are met . When you made your wish , you fulfilled the final condition . Why ? The dark man shrugged . Chefs cook , birds fly , stars twinkle . This is what we do . The man pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes , turned , and began to walk away . Where are you going ? I shouted after him . I ' ve got seven billion new souls to help sort through . See ya . The ground opened up in a gout of flames , and the dark man stepped into that hole , disappearing . And then I was alone .