I notice and appreciate them , and I have no preference as to color and length . <| sep |> They can ' t match playing in a real conference and the big xii seems set on keeping UH out rather right now . <| sep |> Sometimes the only person you have is yourself . You might not be able to rely on others so you need to be able to drag yourself out of whatever hole you got yourself into . It ' s sink or swim . <| sep |> Have you seen a lawyer ? It is so important that you do so . You need to find out what your rights are and how best to proceed with the divorce , so that you do not end up fucked over . Second stop a counselor . Therapy has been invaluable to me and to others in our circumstances . Especially because you continue to live with your cheating ex , I can ' t imagine how painful this is for you . Third . real world support . Let your family and friends know what is going on . Let them help you through this . Fourth . chumplady . You will find a lot of support from men and women in your situation getting a divorce but living with a spouse who is blatantly having an affair . Good luck , take a deep breath , and start the different processes needed to help yourself and your children through this .