Sex is not something that is promised at each advanceThen find an asexual mate or buy a cat . so by saying no you aren ' t rejecting the person , only the act of sex . Bullshit . Most LLs don ' t realize that rejections are cumulative . They don ' t exist in a vacuum . If you reject someone once , no biggie . Reject them every day for a year , you ' ve rejected the entire person . To many HLs , their sexuality is a key part of who they are . Rejecting just the act is like their rejecting the nose on your face . But I didn ' t reject ALL OF YOU AS A PERSON ! Just your stupid nose . Nope . Doesn ' t work . Either you want your mate all of them or you don ' t . Your mate isn ' t a fucking buffet , where you get to pick and choose what to accept and what to deny . especially if the LL person is genuinely tired . Also , the too tired song and dance is bullshit . Unless you ' re in hospital for exhaustion , you ' ve simply made a cost benefit analysis . The cost of sex is more than resting . Fine , so long as it ' s not your default . Life will ALWAYS be tiring . If your go to is no sex unless then find another LL , because you ' re always going to find a reason to reject .