Good to see some exmilitary is doing something other than prop up dictators and oppress civilians . <| sep |> if you see the bar then it should load after a long while , blank page you should reload i think <| sep |> Al Anon helped me come to terms with my guilt for leaving my alcoholic husband . I didn ' t start attending until a few days after I had already left him 3 years ago . I learned and accepted quickly that I had zero control over another person ' s decisions and reactions . I had to focus solely on myself I do not have children . I also came to realize that I was hurting him and the situation with my own behavior . I wonder sometimes if I would have stayed had I started Al Anon sooner . I can ' t answer that now . What I do know is I am happier and healthier emotionally than I ever have been in my 38 years of life . He survived as well . I worried constantly about his well being . In the end we don ' t know what will send someone over the edge . or what will force them to face the consequences of their own behavior and get help . Best of luck to you . I know it ' s not easy . But , it can get better .