I have , and I would say trying to change a partner in this way is a bad idea . First , it fosters a bad attitude that my way is right and puts me in a position where I can start to feel and act superior . For me , this means I can feel justified in being passive aggressive and just sort of mean and snippy to him . Which is obviously harmful to a relationship . My best example might seem like a stupid thing , but , the clutter in the basement , and his habit of never throwing anything away has been an issue for me . I think it ' s not practical , and for me it just feels wrong to clutter up a space the way it is right now . I have tired so hard to get him to clean up his stuff to my standards . Yeah , it didn ' t work . But , I have been willing to learn from this , and admit my fault in things , and accept flaws or differences in my partner . And I think that is essential for a successful relationship . As to why you asked this question , I ' m curious if your situation is like mine , or is it something more obviously with a clear right and wrong ?