This is gonna sound weird on rNBA , but what if you like , went outside and played basketball ? You could even track your stats and calculate your own efficiency stats to get your fix . <| sep |> Hit me with all the truths <| sep |> WRONG SHIP WEDNESDAY WAS YESTERDAY i still upvoted thoughbaka <| sep |> No , that doesn ' t look familiar , but it certainly works . <| sep |> When you have been abused , its like you have been denied oxygen . You want to be loved so badly , you crave it , you need it , its like an addiction . Often , manipulative and toxic people can see this , are actually looking for this . It makes you easy to target . There is no love here . You are going to have to end the relationship , go cold turkey , go through the withdrawal which is very real and will be painful and get free . This person holds no love or respect for you . It was clear that she lied to you in the first place . Shes just another abusive , manipulative person trying to use you . I do want to point something out here . You need to stay out of relationships , stay in therapy , work through the rebuilding of your self esteem , confidence , and independence . You also need to learn to trust your own judgement and listen to yourself again . You also need to build healthy boundaries and defend them . Its really easy to slip back into the position of pretending that the person who you are with are loving people because you want it to be so badly . Please learn about abuse , how it works , how it changes you , and erodes you into being a people pleaser who wants love so badly they make bad choices . Check out thehotline . org . You deserve the real thing . You are only 20 years old . Please stay in the therapy , and educate yourself here . You arent worthless , you dont deserve this , and you can be in a great relationship with respect , love , and trust . You will never get it here .