People , please . Use a little restraint . <| sep |> Manipulation is sort of a catch all term used to describe a set of behavior intended to create a desired result from an unwilling party . In your case , Aaron is using a known fear to inhibit your relationship with others . While I am not suggesting that he is sitting like some cartoon villain hatching dastardly plots , he is choosing to exhibit behavior that he knows that will provoke a response from you . Additionally , he knows that this response will run parallel with his own desires i . e . undermining your relationship with your new partner . I would go as far as to say that he is being malicious and that he does know what he is doing . It could be that you see the man you wish he was , rather than who he is . Your second question is more troubling . Before I answer , I have a small confession to make . I am a bit a bastard . Like a huge bit . There is a very hard place inside me that I use for selfprotection and preservation . This is the place that talks when I am faced with situations like Aaron . You are not putting the noose around his neck . He is . You can not control the choices that he will make . You can not be his support for the rest of his life because doing that means that you will end yours . Choosing to provide support to Aaron will drain you . Worse still , it will remove so many choices from you . You lay yourself open to be used and abused by a man that you can not walk away from because you are scared that he will harm himself . Genuinely , if you fear that he will take his life then you need to contact the police . Since his family is not in the picture , you need to hand this over to people that can get him the help he needs . And , if he kills himself , you need to accept that is not your fault . He choose the path . He choose to ignore the help that is out there . He choose not to seek medical help to deal with his demons . He choose to bind his identity to something that he could not have . These are his choices , not yours . Sadly , even if you stayed with him there is no guarantee that he will not harm himself .