It ' s my middle way . It ' s the best I can do for now . I ' m able to honor my conscience by being forthright about my unbelief to my closest loved ones , including my aforementioned mom . I don ' t believe , I don ' t behave as a believer , and I do not attend . My rejection of TSCC is abundantly obvious to those in the community I live in that know me . I have my authenticity ! And to their credit , my loved ones have accepted and embraced me for who I really am a nonbeliever who has issues with the very concept of ' belief ', and has found genuine peace outside of Mormonism . It was a rocky ride , but living life on pretty much , anyway ! my terms is totally exhilarating and worth the months spent in hell crawling there .