I ' m guessing these are not American government based , since that would make no sense to announce that . <| sep |> I just really want to know what the signal was <| sep |> Well , first of all , you ' re most definitely not ugly . Secondly , as someone older than you , I ' ve come to realize that men take longer than women to mature , and grow into themselves , so to speak . So , a 21 year old man is still a baby to me that is still growing physically and emotionally , and learning to be confident in themselves being a stranger to intimacy at this age , therefore , is most certainly not a death sentence or a comment on one ' s defectiveness . Case in point , I ' ve seen some of former male peers who I would have never dated then , many years after high school , bloom unexpectedly into highly intelligent and attractive men . And others who were classically attractive at 21 , are not at all now . Perhaps this speaks to my growth moreso , but it happened . The fact remains that people change a lot in those early years , 1830 . As someone else mentioned , looks aren ' t everything in relationships . Compatibility is everything . You ' ve got to find someone that sees that something in you that they cherish . That requires meeting people , approaching people , being rejected a lot , and then finding that one person out of many that something just clicks . It ' s a game of probability , and a game that you have to play . You have to get out there and just try .