This is about 25 extra pounds ! <| sep |> Well , you ' re going to have to confess to invading her privacy first and foremost , unless she ' s given you express permission to go through her phone and look at her conversations that ' s a pretty scummy thing to do after just a month , and it may speak to quite a few issues on your end . Regardless of what comes of that , you need to wake up a little , here . Your problem isn ' t in anyway shape or form with this guy . He is free to message and flirt with whomever he wants to , even if it does make him a scumbag . Squash any delusions about confronting this guy right now . You ' re simply going to have to ask her . Ask her why she allows him to go on flirting . Ask her why she doesn ' t tell him to stop . Ask her if she thinks it ' s appropriate to enable this behavior while you ' re togeather . Ask her if she ' s committed to you or not . Basically just have the conversation and see what comes out of it .