Which is why this whole you ' re perfect the way you are and everyone is a winner nonsense in the 90 s helped make a generation of insecure , illadapted young adults . I don ' t know about western culture at large , but in the US people love attributing accomplishments to innate qualities . Not only does it devalue the effort put into the achievement , but it actively reinforces the idea that effort and working towards something is pointless . Either you ' re smart , or you ' re not . You ' re thin or you ' re fat . You ' re ugly or you ' re hot . Regardless of where you are on these spectrums , kids are raised to see it like something that can ' t be changed . Because if it can be changed , then little Bobby , who sucks at baseball , might feel bad . If he can ' t help it , then it ' s okay ! That ' s just how he is ! It ' s bullshit .