The best part about his screenshot is that is shows him flaming some one lmao <| sep |> Very interesting , actually . I feel this describes the me of the past though and not the me of the present . I used to be exactly like that , but ever since I lost my longest term friend , BFF and girlfriend over the span of just 35 days , I have had trouble forming any kind of close relationship . I want to , but for some reason it doesn ' t happen . I ' m not sure if perhaps it ' s only my end who doesn ' t feel close anymore though . I feel like maybe something in me wants to protect myself , but I don ' t have thoughts about losing friends . This was nearly 3 years ago now and after some months of depression and complete loss of knowing what I was living for , the latter still remained for over a year , slowly decreasing . I ' ve had no interest in getting a girlfriend since and I still don ' t . When I started to feel things for this idol I thought that it was probably a good thing . She makes me happy just by looking at her , thus making my life better and by wanting to and believing I can get in a relationship with her it makes me feel like I don ' t need to worry about getting in an actual relationship . I know people say people in their early 20 s have nothing to worry about , but time passes quickly and I would worry although not on a daily nor weekly base per se if it wasn ' t for this idol . One interesting part of a line I found on the Wikipedia article is this Limerence , which is not exclusively sexual . For me , it ' s never been even one bit sexual . A relationship and ultimately marriage for me would be about having a friend for life anyway .