Wireless headphones , if they don ' t already have them <| sep |> No problem . You have a right to your feelings . You get to feel however you want about things . And you ' re allowed to talk about them . And your SO should be sensitive enough to understand those two things . Now , he doesn ' t have to agree or feel the same way about everything you do . He can disagree , respectfully . Or say that he didn ' t see it that way at the time . Or didn ' t see it that way because he ' s so used to hearing his parents talk that way that he didn ' t even notice because it ' s all peanuts teacher wah wah blah blah to him after all these years . That ' s all fine . He just needs to acknowledge how you feel , respect that you do feel that way , and then you work through how to handle things in future in a way that works for both of you , but that in no case leaves you hanging out to dry on your own or throws the blame on youmakes you the bad guy or shames you in anyway . Them ' s the rules . If you don ' t like a behavior , they have to stop doing it because it ' s fucking polite to respect someone else ' s boundaries . Even if the family doesn ' t agree with them . There is plenty of time for them to discuss gross shit when you ' re not there , they can call each other go to dinner together or skype if they want to talk about offensive shit . There is no need to do it in front of you , because you ' re a guest in their home or they are a guest in yours . Either way , they need to behave like civilized adults . In the worst case scenario , if he cannot or does not want to control his family due to working through his own issues with them and there ' s a time limit on how long you have to put up with that , he needs to resolve that shit , then you get a free pass to be no contact with them . The same works in reverse with any crazy family or friends you may have . And the SO has to take responsibility for the no contact . Basically thisMom , I have had it with your behavior towards SOName . I ' m your son and I put up with some of your stuff , but the buck stops with me . You don ' t get to embarrass me in front of SO , or inflict your poison on SO . So , I have taken SO ' s phone and personally blocked your numbers on it , myself . From now on , ALL communication goes through me unless someone is in the hospital and will die in the next 24 hours . Also , I will not be brining SO to any family events unless and until this behavior changes . I have bought her several gift certificates and she will be enjoying lovely spa days instead ! And if your behavior doesn ' t change soon , then I may stop attending as well . You need to have a serious think about your behavior towards both of us . Are we clear on this ? ? The key is to make sure that each of you take on the crazies in your families yourselves and be responsible for managing them in a way that the other doesn ' t become a victim . You also have the option to comanage once you each get good enough to do it and comfortable enough that you are both on exactly the same page and know the other has your back . But that ' s more like the advanced level of family management and it can take some time . Basically , to do that you need to both know where the limits are and if you stand up in the middle of dinner with his family and say We ' re leaving now . that he will simply get up from his chair say Yes , we most certainly are ! grab your hand and walk the fuck out together .