I beg to differ . Proper hormone levels very often are the fix needed . As someone who suffered from depo provera and having it rob me of every bit of desire I had , I can certainly speak from experience . When the HL partner takes it so personally and is unwilling to consider how it may not be the fault of the LL partner , it only makes things much worse . And for males , it can be low testosterone . When it comes to hormones , you can ' t just fake desire . It doesn ' t work . And if you try , the HL partner feels like its pity sex and gets upset over that . Hormones are at the core of everything you feel and how you react to situations . Why do you think it is such a big deal when a woman goes through menopause ?