Wow what you described is exactly what I went through when I was a teen reaching 18 years old . After the meeting I would stand outside of the kingdom hall admiring the stars and talking to other teens . It became a habit and it was noticed by an older sister that would always come up to me when I was alone or when some of the other teens didn ' t make it to the meeting . She would engage me in conversation as to why I always stood outside and didn ' t take the truth seriously or join the rest of them inside . To the point where she actaully asked me if im the little Black Sheep of stillfullyin family . They are very close tight knit community but that unity reaches a point where its overvalued and undermines other principles .