Adapted from Shakespeare ' s Merchant of VeniceI am a couch . Hathnot a couch cushions ? hath not a couch fabric , tufts , stitching , embroidery , dimension , style ? made withthe same materials , hurt with the same forgotten sharp pen , subject to the occasional spilling of libations , cleansed by the various detergents , warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer , as a chair is ? If you prick us , do we not tear ? if you pat us , do we not release dead skin cells ? if you stainus , do we not still show it ' s outline ? and if you claw at us , shall we not revenge ? If we are like you in the rest , we willresemble you in that . If a couch wrong a cat , what is it ' s humility ? Revenge . If a catwrong a couch , what should his sufferance be by manufacturers warranty ? Why , revenge . The villany youteach me , I will execute , and it shall go hard but Iwill better the instruction .