Usually they rationalize it by saying you can choose not to believe in the church , just like we can choose not to support you , which would be a reasonable argument toward a stranger or acquaintance , but it ' s really just cruel against your own family . IMO it ' s a sign that they love TSCC more than their own family , which is really very sad . I would bet money that there are TBMs out there who would be proud to say they love the church more than they love their family , though . Even more perverse is when you consider that TBMs like that will still have good friends that aren ' t religious or interested in the church at all outside of Utah , anyways and love them to death , but they ' ll only call their children a member of their family if they pretend to be a TBM too .