I ' ve never heard anything about Princess Diana . <| sep |> Yeah . Like this one guy who managed to pretend to be someone else just by fucking with his own website ' s database , what a pro <| sep |> I still remember when he said I ' ll fn kill you . <| sep |> Or they expect presents every time someone dies . <| sep |> It ' s not great , but it ' s a good start . Your writing has personality , which is a more than 90 % of independent bloggers can say . You ' ve got a leg up . However , this post was not an easy read . Your writing seems choppy and doesn ' t flow well . This will surely improve as you gain experience and find your voice . The biggest problem , I ' d say , is that this post lacks substance . It doen ' t seem to offer much insight into the Rolex brand and your claims seem to be baseless . Take this quote , for exampleConcluding this I ' d say if you have anywhere from 500020000 laying around and want to invest in watches , a rolex would be the best financial investment , you could also get a shit ton of freddos , so thats an option too . This is a huge claim to make , especially if you don ' t first define what constitutes a good investment . You don ' t explore the topic of jewelery investment at all either before or after making that claim , nor do you compare the investment value of a Rolex to any other brands . Not only that , you don ' t give any support to your claim other than that Rolex uses precious metals in their watch . Thorough research and analysis is a huge part of making an effective , and when it ' s not done , the writing reads like an opinion paper . some even appreciate in value . Follow this by giving some specific examples showing how they relate to your argument . However you shouldn ' t spend money on things just because they look nice right ? Damn right . This isn ' t grammatically a question which makes me unsure whether your answer means one thing or the complete opposite . Rolexes are not entirely overpriced , they are made from the most expensive metals on the planet . Gold , Platinum , Silver all of that good stuff . A watch can be made of precious metals and still be overpriced . This just sounds like you ' re guessing a backup to your argument and hoping you ' re right . There is no solid ground to stand on . My biggest advice do your research , otherwise you ' re just throwing around opinions .