Can almost see the outer points of her starfish . <| sep |> I think the cruz of the matter is that ultimately , you have to respect who people say they are if you want to live in a society where you are respected for who you say you are . As you obviously are already painfully aware of , gender identity is about how you feel , not necessarily how others perceive you that ' s not to negate the impact for most trans people of being perceived in a way that aligns with how you feel . We have as a society worked for decades to break down the idea that your gender means you have to look or act a certain way . Lea Delariahigginspost 7957 leadelariab 5564475 . html wears men ' s clothes and keeps her hair cut short and could easily pass for a guy , but nobody questions her when she ' s says , no , I ' m a girl , I ' m just a butch girl . Balpreet K u a r k a u r s i k h w o m a n p r o u dlysportsfacialhairfaithn 1913355 . html has a full beard that she has decided not to shave , but we don ' t tell her she ' s less of a woman for letting it grow . But we don ' t afford trans people the same independence . We say , if you ' re a woman , act like it . The fact is , telling a trans woman she ' s really a man because she doesn ' t shave her face is no different from telling a cis woman she ' s really a man because she wears a tux to fancy parties .