Maybe that is so , but then you have to assume Matthew made it all up He told them another parable The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed , which a man took and planted in his field . Though it is the smallest of all seeds , yet when it grows , it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree , so that the birds come and perch in its branches . <| sep |> Je pense que ce graphe n ' est pas suffisant pour attester du travail d ' un dput <| sep |> Throw out the idea that ' I ' m not the person suffering ' because the reality is that you are suffering right now , and there ' s nothing that could possibly be wrong about that . Holding onto that idea will keep you stuck , because it closes off any further selfinvestigation if I feel shit but then say ' i ' m not feeling shit because I am not this one ' all that does is leave me at an inner loop of denying how I intuitively feel . Secondly , I ' d say you ' ve probably hit that point where you get a certain level of disillusionment in life and it becomes impossible to fully go back to the comfort of being in a trance state . Thinking of the future is a good way to escape focusing on the suffering now , but it never fully works , and can often tend to perpetuate that suffering . I would highly recommend really listening to the hard truths in life that you ' ve realised , and to critically examine them . Some will stand the test , others may turn out to be mistruths . Look at that fear of being alone . Like , sit down , and try to generate that feeling of utter abandonment , and sit with the fear , the sadness , and look at exactly what beliefthought patterns perpetuate that . In regards to suicide , maybe look at what wants to die ? When I tried to do it it was ultimately because I couldn ' t continue to live my life the way it was without radically changing my perspective on things something I firmly did not want to docouldn ' t be bothered . Because I didn ' t want to change , but couldn ' t live that way without something changing , I was stuck in a pit of anhedonic misery . Ultimately , it ' s up to you to really just be okay with the fact that you feel shit right now , to not make a problem out of that fact , and then to examine the barrage of thoughts that will attempt to bring you back to old habits of thought . I wish someone had showed me this video when I was depressed , he gives the most honest advice I ' ve heard in a long time . Enjoy the ride 3 HLsripTf 0 E