terribly sorry to hear how traumatised you are but perhaps it would be useful to find a way back to enjoying these things when they happen in a consensual , spontaneous and romantic way although this isn ' t easy and as you say the feeling is one of revulsion not of discomfort but I ' m sure you ' d feel better generally if you were able to stop letting one bad person ' s actions adversely effect your life more generally . good luck ! <| sep |> IT LOOKS DEEP FROM THE GIF UNTIL YOU SEE HIM RUN ALONG THE SIDE . <| sep |> I love this kind of responses . They vaguely resemble the typical abusive boyfriend excuse You ' ll never do better than me ! I ' m your only option ! . You know what ? I wish all the luck in the world to China . I ' m sure they ' ll be far better . The fact is that out of all the possible superpowers , the US is the worst . But I can ' t place any hopes on Russia , so there it is .