First , I want to say that I truly am sorry for your loss . I also lost my mother in August and I understand the heartache and confusion you must be feeling . It still seems very surreal at some times . Quite often I find myself thinking I should text her to tell her about something or call her to ask a question and then it hits me again like a brick wall . I feel that pang of loss like it was the first time I found out over and over and over again . It can almost take your breath away sometimes . I try to remember some of our happiest times and replay those memories in my mind , like a time she comforted me when I hurt myself as a kidthe kind of pure love only a mother can give . I find that with those memories she can comfort me still . I don ' t think that anyone really knows how any of this works . I think that maybe we all just kind of wing it until we find something that helps to ease the pain . It may seem like this feeling will never go away and that you are wandering alone and lost in the world but it will get easier , I hope . Live your life to the fullest and become a person you know she would be proud of , that ' s all I know to do . None of this may help , but maybe knowing that you ' re not alone will .