I finally did it . I had sex . It was with a girl from a town near where I live so I had to drive to her . We met on an online dating site and have been talking online for two months before finally she agreed to go on a date . To be honest , I never thought it was gonna happen , but I talked with her because it felt good getting at least some attention from the opposite sex , even if through online messaging . So one day I ask her out for the third time , she ignored the first two or made up excuses , and she said YES . I was really excited and read a lot of articles online to prepare for all possible scenarios , sex included even though I didn ' t believe I ' d have sex on the very first date , but still . As I was getting in my car I realized I was very nervous , literally my hands were shaking , so I drank a bit of whiskey I drink sometimes because of my depression problems and in my country it ' s not hard to get away with driving drunk . Don ' t judge me for it , please , because you don ' t know my life story . However , it was important to mention that because I then had an accident on the road , outside of the city , I hit a pole , no big deal but I think it was more because of the nervousness than the alcohol . Neither me nor the car was very damaged . I mention it because it ' s important later . I arrived at her house and I thought I was gonna pick her up and drive her to some place for dinner or something . She invited me to come in , and I did . She made some coffee , which here is like a conversation drink , doesn ' t matter the time of day . The TV was on and we were having fun joking about the people on television . I told her about my accident on the way over , and she said like aww and kind of hugged me , which was the first real physical contact with a girl I ' ve had in 34 years . I know I sound pessimistic but I never thought even that would happen . Time was going by , and we still didn ' t decide where to go to dinner or anything , we just sat there laughing and having fun . I never thought about what it would be like to just talk about regular stuff with a girl . In fact , I never really realized how normal they can be I know this sounds retarded , but remember , I was literally without any experience with girls up to this point . So it was fun , but on the inside , I was really nervous and I felt cold even though it wasn ' t really cold in the house . I managed to control myself so I don ' t shake visibly . I feel cringe just writing this but eh . Then because we talked about movies , she put on a movie she was talking about and we watched it . Around halfway in , she leaned on me and I put my hand around her . This is it , now . I knew what I had to do . Kiss her . But I was afraid , I kept thinking , I ' ll do it in a minute or two . Time passed , and finally , I said something autistic like I ' ve to tell you something , she looked up at me , and I just kissed her . I didn ' t hold the kiss for long or use any tongue , thank god . She didn ' t look surprised , like she was expecting the kiss . She kissed me back . And so it began . We were kissing ! And it lasted for a long time , but felt even longer . I started caressing her on the head like a pet , which was really stupid , but I couldn ' t concentrate on all these things at once . I changed my mind and groped her instead , which was better . Long story short , soon enough we were on her bed , and she was taking my clothes off . I was supposed to take hers off too , but I didn ' t know how to unbutton it . She laughed . By the way , I never told her I was a virgin , obviously . Anyway , after some more kissing and cuddling , she took my hand and put it at her vagina . I started rubbing it . At one point I put my finger in it , then two . She said that was her favorite thing . She asked for more fingers and eventually I put my entire hand in there , which was super weird , but I can ' t complain . Eventually we stopped that and she started jerking me off . This was a bad thing because I was so horny that I had almost come already just from my penis rubbing against the sheets of the bed , and now she was jerking it , and I was gonna come too soon . I said No , wait , and took her hand off . Decided to go down on her . As I was licking her , she sat on my face . My tongue became stiff from so much moving , but whatever . Soon , she asked me to put a fist in again , but then changed her mind and just sat on my face even harder , so my entire face was halfway in . She was cumming , I could hear it in her voice . She pushed herself even more on me , and asked me to go in deeper . I did so my entire head was in lol and eventually , my whole body . I was inside her vagina completely . I began to cry and realized that my life is coming to an end the same way it began in a woman ' s womb . I cried but then woke up . I was still in my car , in the middle of the road . My car had hit a pole on the road . I smelled of booze . It was 2 A . M .