To Keep My Love AliveHJlt 5 m 0 qzFY , music by Richard Rodgers , lyrics by Lorenz Hart I married many men , A ton of them , And yet I was untrue to none of them because I bumped off ev ' ry one of them to keep my love alive Sir Paul was a frail he looked a wreck to me . At night he was a horse ' s neck to me So I performed an appendectomy To keep my love alive . Sir Thomas had insomnia he couldn ' t sleep at night . I bought a little arsenic he ' s sleeping now all right . Sir Philip played the harp I cussed the thing . I crowned with his harp to bust the thing . And now he plays where harps are just the thing , To keep my love alive , To keep my love alive . REFRAIN 2 I thought Sir George had possibilities , but his flirtations made me ill at ease , and when I ' m ill at ease I kill at ease To keep my love alive . Sir Charles came from a sanatorium and yelled for drinks in my emporium I mixed one drink He ' s in memorium To keep my love alive . Sir Francis was a singing bird A nightingale . That ' s why I tossed him off my balcony To see if he could fly Sir Athelstane indulged in fratricide He killed his dad and that was patricide One night I stabbed him at my mattress side To keep my love alive , To keep my love alive .