Loled so hard at professor icepick <| sep |> Not sure why you ' re getting down voted ? McDavid plays on a much better team . <| sep |> People are going to hate me and down vote to oblivion , but here it is from a male perspective that was in your husband ' s situation once . BJs are my favorite thing . Period . I ' ve never cum from it and my wife has never gone more than a few minutes to make it happen . I ' ve been very clear I won ' t cum in her mouth and that she can finish with her hand . 20 years in and it ' s a big deal for me that I just stew in because there is nothing else I can do . At one point may years ago she told me BJs are done , she doesn ' t like it . I can ' t enjoy what she doesn ' t so I stopped asking . I went 8 years without . Then one day , I don ' t know . something in me changed . I was very bitter about it because I am very giving and need her to want it and enjoy it for my pleasure . I decided I wanted it back and told her that I wanted an allowance to get it else where . It wasn ' t completely the lack of oral , but she was also against anything we hadn ' t already done . basically a one handed yanks for me every now and then and 2 positions , that was about the extent of her giving , ever . I had just gotten to the point where I was avoiding sex because I was so ridiculously bored with it I was having a hard time maintaining an erection . So , after a huge fight and lots of talking she asked me if she could try it again . She loved it . She still has never made me cum , but I get BJs on a regular basis . not a lot , but more than never . I know deep in me she doesn ' t like it . I know she is uncomfortable trying new things . I can tell when she really likes something and when she plays along , so we generally do the things I know she likes . I take her word that she likes the BJs because I want to be ignorant to it . I do almost all of the giving in bed , never ask for it , but I take it when offered . We have come to spot where she will have me straddle her and use a wand on her while she blows me so she really focuses on her pleasure and seems to get more into the BJ as she gets close to orgasm , when we do that she genuinely seems to enjoy it . My point in that long winded explanation , in my personal opinion , maybe cut the frequency off , but continue to fake it unless it ' s a deal breaker . If it ' s his favorite thing , replacing it with something else isn ' t going to scratch that itch , and telling him will just make him feel guilty for accepting . The other comments are well intended , but I bet they ' d feel different if their partner suddenly informed them that their favorite sex act is off the table . Imagine your favorite sex act and pretend you can have all the other things you want , but that one thing is off the table forever now because he decided he doesn ' t like it . eventually it ' ll be an issue for you wether you want it to be or not . Good luck .