My situation is a little different , as I knew my partner was trans and intending to transition before we started dating . Nevertheless , I was attracted to her a long time before I knew this . I haven ' t found it a loss at all and when I read narratives of transpartners I find the description of loss surprising but I think it depends a lot on why you were attracted to her in the first place . I have come to realise that it was largely her femininity that attracted me to her in the first place I never viewed her as especially male . Regardless , she is still the same person she was before she started hormones . The hormones haven ' t changed her behaviour except that she is much calmer and happier than she was before . Oh and our sex life is way better too , because she is becoming increasingly more comfortable . Of course it isn ' t an easy process , but there are a surprising amount of fun things about it too .