No not at all . <| sep |> Selfidentification is practically meaninglessFor things where selfidentification isn ' t a major component of the identity sure , but gender is one where selfidentification is a major component . Trans people who don ' t present as their actual gender don ' t deserve any less respect than those that do . If someone is trans but chooses not to transition and doesn ' t radically change their appearance they ' re still the gender they claim to be and identify as . Appearance is actually the factor that hardly matters . Your appearance matters . How others perceive you matter . By your logic , how I identify by name doesn ' t matter . If someone says I look more like a ' Michael ' and they perceive me as a ' Michael ' then I ' m apparently Michael now . Likewise it means fuckall if someone thinks I look like a man if I ' m actually genderqueer how would you even appear to be genderqueer , although if I had to guess you reject this as a category and the predominate way that manifests is my selfidentification and verbal expression of that identity . Which leads to a pretty damning point . Isn ' t saying ' I ' m a woman ' one of the most clear signals that someone is a woman ? Even moreso than clothes . If someone is dressed up as a superhero for Halloween , but they tell you ' I ' m actually just a normal human ' you wouldn ' t go ' Bullshit , you ' re obviously a super hero , I perceive it as such , society perceives it as such , so that ' s how it is and your selfidentification does ' t matter ! ' It IS societally determined in some sense whether you ' re a scientist or a pilot or not . Yes but not in the sense you ' re claiming else where . After achieving the requirements to being a pilot being licensed one is a pilot so long as their documents don ' t expire . It doesn ' t require dressing like one , or looking like one , because the identity of pilot is determined by the pilots license . Since gender doesn ' t have any strict requirements like ' having to X chromosomes ' or even strict behavioral qualities personal identification becomes a major contributor to what a person is . But just an expressed intention ? That usually isn ' t going to cut it . Why ? That seems silly . That should be the primary factor , everything afterwards is just niceities to signal their transition , a trans woman doesn ' t become a woman only after her reassignment , HRT , and a wardrobe change , she was always a woman . Just ask her yourself ! And no , I don ' t have an obligation to give out respect . Have you ever heard of the idea that respect is earned ? Oh I see now , you ' re actually just an asshole . and how is properly gendering not a basic level of politeness . If I ' m your professor and I continually referred to you as a ' she ' when you ' re really a ' he ', even after you ' ve correct me in class , and met with me after lecture to let me know , that ' s obviously disrespectful . It doesn ' t matter how you dress , or how I perceive you , the fact that I ' m denying the way you identify is disrespectful and borderline harrassment . No one is asking for perfect gendering prima facie , but once someones identity is clarified by themselves there is an obligation to follow that desire . since people use pronouns based on how others APPEAR , not on how others identifyThat ' s not true , you ' ve grabbed on to the covariate and assumed it ' s the signal . Most people appear how they identify , that doesn ' t make appearance the determinant . Some people identify in a way they don ' t appear . Why is it rational to take the their appearance as the major determinant ? It seems much more logical to take the person ' s word for it as verbal expression is a very strong signal . Being a man is more than how one dresses or the length of their hair . One can be a man with or without many of those things , but it ' s hard to be a man when you say you aren ' t a man or don ' t identify as a man . You could potentially look like a man , but that doesn ' t make you a man .