ONE TIME , WHEN I WAS THE RESIDENT SANTA AT A WELLKNOWN AND HIGHLY RESPECTED DEPARTMENT STORE IN NYC , A LITTLE PERSON CAME IN AND SAT ON MY LAP . UNDER THE LAYERS OF BEARD , ILLADJUSTED PLASTIC SPECTACLES , AND LOOSE CLOTHING , I HAD NO CLUE THE PERSON WAS NOT A CHILD . HOW ARE YOUR FOLKS ? I ASK INNOCENTLY . A LITTLE UNDERTHEWEATHER , THEY ARE DEAD , HE REPLIES MONOTONE . I HESITATE , WE ARE TOLD TO ASK USING THE TERM ' FOLKS ' BECAUSE IT IS ACCEPTING TO CHILDREN WHO MAY BE IN A NONTRADITIONAL FAMILY SETTING I . E . THEY ARE FOSTERED OR ADOPTED . THEREFORE I WAS TAKEN ABACK WHEN THIS CHILD , AND I TRULY BELIEVED THEM TO BE JUST THAT AT THE TIME , SAID THEIR FOLKS HAD PERISHED IN MY MIND , THAT SEEMED TO ALLUDE TO THEM BEING A HOMELESS CHILD , A HUMBLE STREET URCHIN . THIS SET IN TO MOTION THE PROCEDURE I WAS TRAINED TO FOLLOW , TO GET THE HOMELESS PERSON OUT OF OUR UPMARKET STORE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE . WITHOUT A MOMENT TO SPARE , I ENGAGE IN THE SECRET CALL FOR SECURITY A LOUD JOLLY LAUGH THREE TIMES IN THE TUNE OF ' FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT ' BY ACCLAIMED RAP TRIO THE BEASTIE BOYS . THE LITTLE PERSON ON MY LAP GROWS RESTLESS BY THE THIRD LAUGH AND I AM WORRIED HE MAY BOLT AT ANY SECOND . LUCKILY THE SECURITY ARRIVES IN TIME TO THROW THE GUY OUT AND THE STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING AS WE ALL HAVE A BIG LAUGH AT THE STAFF BOOZY CHRISTMAS MEAL .