Happy Thanksgiving to you all . I originally came here looking for comfort for myself but just reading about others and hearing everybody ' s kind words was enough to bring a smile to my face thanks ! <| sep |> Doesn ' t matter , you can buy the NA version and still play on the EU servers . Only thing you ' d have to take into consideration is to also buy the NA versions of future expansions and game time cards . <| sep |> Fuck me that ' s awesome <| sep |> I finished pulling out the masses of letters from my mailbox , threw them in the huge pile that was far too large to have fit , and shut the metal container at the end of my brimstone driveway . How did all those letters fit , you wonder ? Magic , honestly . Demon magic . Occupational perk , you could say . Okay , okay , so I may have misled David Blaine on his path through life in order to receive him in hell so he could set up cool shit like a bottomless mailbox . What ' s the big deal ? It ' s not like it ' s not the most intense shit he ' s ever done . Should be thanking me , honestly . Sheesh ! I remarked . I being me , Satan , the universe ' s official Torturer of Souls . These kids sure aren ' t shy about asking for what they ' re after ! But I said it with a grin I loved the holidays . It was the only time I ever felt loved . All these kids , writing letters to Santa , but getting a couple letters wrong . It was great ! Well , since a few years ago , I ' d never let a kid down . Used to just burn the letters in my Fireplace of Darkness . Yeah , yeah , clearly not the most logical name . I was going through an angsty phase , so sue me . I didn ' t even need any extra heat , I was just doing it out of spite . Hell does weird things to your mind , man . Anyway , the story of poor little Johnny Fredricks was enough to melt the toughest of hearts . Most of the letters were just little Suzy asking for a new doll , or little Peter asking for a Red Rocket BB gun , but Johnny was different . This kid was writing to ask Santa to make him grow faster , so he would be big enough to give his mama his kidknee ! He didn ' t understand that when the doctor told him his kidneys were incompatible , it wasn ' t because he was young and his knees were too small . But what really got me was the secondtolast sentence I hope you can help me Santa , because God has not been listening . Man , that really struck home . I felt like me and this kid , the young master Fredricks , really understood each other . He knew what it felt like to never have your prayers answered , to be struck down , reduced to begging an imaginary being for help . We were the same ! They should make a movie about that night called The Red Grinch , starring moi . I always figured I ' d be a great actor . Crying on command ? Pfft , cakewalk . All I ' d need to think about would be Johnny Fredricks opening the presents I got him from under the Christmas tree . I ' d never seen a kid so disappointed to wake up Christmas morning and find he still had functioning , proportional knees . Still , he loved that remote control truck and his new bike . His tears really choked me up . And his parents crying together in their bedroom afterwards , because they were dead broke and had no idea where the presents came from . Ah , man . Nearly enough to melt the devil ' s heart . Oh wait , it was . So Johnny loved his gifts , but he was disappointed that mommy hadn ' t gotten some knew knees . Come on , Johnny ! I ' d wanted to say as I ' d watched the story unfold . Have a little faith in Uncle Satan . Later that day Johnny went with his mom for her biweekly checkup on her renal failure . What ? Who said anything about that ? Boom , perfect kidneys , courtesy of Mr . D the devil and , of course , of the poor soul I ' d accosted in the brimstone factory and liberated of his kidneys . Hey , the guy was dead ! Not like he was going to be needing them again . You just get resurrected in hell anyway , so it was no biggie . So mama Fredricks had miraculously received some good ol kidneys now and young Johnny had all the toys he could ask for , and a healthy mom ! Mission accomplished , I ' d say . After that day , I answered ever letter and fulfilled all those kid ' s wishes . Couldn ' t help it , I just felt compelled from the inside . There was just one catch , really . A limit set by the big man upstairs , which I couldn ' t avoid for colluding with and gaining benefit from the devil , a soul had to be punished . severely . I ' m honestly proud of my solution . You think I was going to let those asshole corporate lawyers from heaven yeah , don ' t ask me how they got in there either use a loophole which identified a signed letter as a binding contract between me and some poor kid ? No way Jos ! Speaking of Jos , I love his restaurant down here in Little Mexico . If you ' re ever down in Hell , look up the Tortured Tortuga . Best hot sauce EVER ! Back to the point I had to figure out a way to get around God ' s stupid rule . Well , consulting my own team of very skilled , neverleavingHell lawyers , I realized something as inconsequential as a painful sneeze could count as a punishment . That ' s when I really got down to business . That Lego your kid stepped on ? Sorry , had to do it so you could keep him enrolled at that great private school . Your daughter stubbed her toe ? My bad , didn ' t want you to lose that new comfy car seat though . Kid got a papercut ? I must have been feeling particularly malicious , but the essence is the same . Every year , I do great things for countless kids , and these two idiots , God and Santa , are given all the credit ! Man , that ' s infuriating . Makes me wanna go stab some fire imps ! Still , could be worse . I might have never been able to help all those people . I just hope that one day , I ' ll get the credit I truly deserve . Signing off now , Satan , Universe ' s official Torturer of Souls . Merry Christmas .