Figures . Keep telling yourself that , for your own sake . <| sep |> No need to wait a few hours . The rest is up on muketsu . Adding to my post now . <| sep |> I believe that once it becomes a problem it stays a problem . The years just added up for me . I tried every diffrent way of drinking . I really actually got pretty good at drinking just the right amount on work nights . Even so I never have been able to feel like drinking was the best thing for me . Lately it was definatly a feeling of somthing defeating me . I got to the point of not wanting to live if it meant alcohol was in charge . Im the cheerleader in my life . I am very affraid of alcohol at this point it took my spirit away to a dark place . So this is my day one again and Im looking for my spirit ' s return . Lets leave evil well enough alone ! !!!