Can you do this if you ' re not a US citizen ? <| sep |> For the one traffic ticket I ' ve had in my state , I asked the judge if I could plead no contest and pay a civil fine . That kept the ticket off of my driving record . I paid the same fine , but my insurance rate didn ' t go up because I wasn ' t technically convicted of a moving violation . <| sep |> our ideas to better strengthen them . This is so important . And it saddens me that people want everything toned down and safe like living in a nerf world . Everything padded and sterile , no sharp edges and no danger . Also no sparkle , no challenges , no growth . Maybe this fear of seeing rape scenes is a product of over protective parenting . Seems I see it mostly from a younger crowd . Also ones I think that don ' t read enough . Not enough classics and history at any rate . I grew up reading fantasy and historical fiction as my main loves . Back in the 80 s when writers weren ' t afraid to write a rape scene . Rape scenes are hard for me but they reflect real life and they happen all the damn time . And not just to women . While we piss and moan over rape culture in our wonderful mostly eglatarian lives women , men and children are enslaved and raped every day . Some by ISIS and others by sick people that control power on our Western civilization and so so many by everyday people in their lives that they trusted . We cannot make it go away by ignoring it . I can speak here as a former victim when I say stop complaining and let ' s instead discuss . I ' m a survivor myself and if I can do it then most of us can . Some are indeed too hurt still and may be forever but it is only through discourse and exploring characters in media that we can better understand human nature . For me such discussions and literature and smart tv and movies I have come to recognize my detachment during intimacy . And indeed my hard outer shell that kept my ex out and literally drove him mad until he started having serious rage issues and lashing out . It doesn ' t excuse what he did but I can see how I contributed to the situation . Most especially it happening again because I didn ' t face up to it , acknowledge that had happened and knew enough to realize it wasn ' t all in my head . Growing up my narcissistic father would thrown down any argument I had dismissing it as over emotional female reactions . I only realized how wrong he was through discussing fictional characters . Now I can see how I made things worse when I didn ' t hold him responsible . just pretended what happened didn ' t . He was drunk and I was and we had a fight and he did it . So when the situation came around again neither of us stopped and said wait . My no ' s went unanswered , maybe because I hadn ' t communicated I felt violated last time and safe words in sex play because no doesn ' t always mean no . Elizabeth could tell you that . And not having one established , or even realizing the need , can lead to misinterpretation . I don ' t like this environment today where every tv show and movie has to reflect today ' s values instead of the time period it should reflect . Rape is condemned now but it still happens . In this era it was less a crime to the woman as to the family she represents . So raping a kitchen made is men being men . No worse in the eyes of many as the tom cat mounting a queen when she isn ' t in cycle . It ' s terrible sure . But we live in different times and it ' s important to understand and see how far we ' ve come . Yet I cant help bur point out thay distance lessers than it seems with the kitchen maids of today still exist and have no voice all the same . Namely in my world it ' s illegal immigrants who fear deportation if they report it or fight . And in the news it ' s Muslim women , or women in Muslim countries who will get stoned and murdered for adultery if they report it . As we analyze Ross and Elizabeth though let ' s remember rape is about power . So a man wanting to feel powerful over an enemy might rape his wife or daughter or mother . Or over his enemies as when an army sacks a town . Also the violence has stirred their blood and hormones up so they take their violence another direction . In this scene I don ' t see it as a power play for Ross over Elizabeth . I see he is a man driven crazy by loss and guilt of business and employees dead because of him . He feels powerless sure and here she goads him with her manipulation in letter . The man who lied and schemed , who ruined Francis and held debts over his head and who tried to force Elizabeth into sex with threats of those loans has she forgotten ? ? is now the man of all Cornwall she is going to marry ? A beautiful woman like her can ' t find a better match ? No she was punishing him and ask daring him . See how far I will go Ross if you don ' t leave your wife for me . She goads and goads and goads and yep he is Ross full of passion and rash acts . He shouldn ' t have , technically it was assault and don ' t kid yourself on the tv after he got her on the bed I saw rather passionate kissing back on her end . Maybe they added that later ? I will read the books soon . But I think we should fairly blame them both and cheer Demelza on . I hooted with glee when she hit him haha . Wiped that arrogant look off his face but her speech about her pride in him . that was a real wake up call I think . Lastly the question of rape being a tripe and unnecessary for plot lines . Wrong . and so unreal too . Let ' s try to ground even our fantasy stories with plausible human actions . Speaking if which why is that one type of human violence now absolutely taboo but torture and bloody gore is a ok ? Are we saying it ' s morally ok in real life ? Of course not . Why are we so afraid to have rape expressed on tv ? Why is everyone claiming the Sansa rape was HBO titillating and making rape sexy ? I don ' t think we watched the same show . Nothing sexy at all about what he did to her as we see through her foster brother ' s face . And it was the ONLY goad that would snap him out of his tortured will breaking subservience to defy Ramsey and save her no matter the costs . It was horrific . But no worse than Hodor ' s end or that poor little Princess . How can we discuss and learn from one another if we boo and hiss the controversial out of media ? How can we learn how to raise our sons and daughters to navigate this mine field of we never explore it ourselves ? I don ' t get the hatred some of these SJW have towards men who make honest mistakes in a moment of passionate anger or drunkenness . Is the woman never at fault ? Not even partly responsible ? If I torture and tease a dog that then bites me is the dog all to blame ? Ross isn ' t a dog of course but he is a man . A man who loved her deeply and suffered greatly and watched her marry his cousin as if she didn ' t care what that would do to him . I mean stop a minute and switch the genders . It ' s not simple because the time period men had to be bread winners but humor me a moment . Imagine a man you loved for years and swears he loves you even now but oh his parents don ' t like that you are poor so he is going to marry your rich cousin instead . And then tease you and flirt about how he still loves you and on and on . Then she dies and he is free but you got married before something he never respected and indeed scorned your choice except when that person saved his child and he decides you aren ' t taking care of him as he expected above your own child and spouse and decide to punish you by agreeing to marry your worst enemy and tell you in a letter that politely all but scolds you for lack of care . Even when you gave up money YOUR family needed to help him . It ' s not hard to imagine passions running high and angry sex ensuing . And because you are the woman no one would call it rape . Yet wouldn ' t it be if he said no ?