I was around 7 at the time , I had an older friend who was somewhere around 1213 years old . The first incident I don ' t remember too well , but I remember him tricking me by saying it was a new game that required me to take my pants off , he then put something cold up my ass and I remember saying I didn ' t like it . He let me go that time . The second incident , however , he held me down by force and this time put his cock inside me , it hurt a lot , but I still thought it was just a game , when I started crying from the pain he let me go . It took many years before I found out what had actually happened to me , but after the second incident , he stopped being my friend and he instigated people into thinking I was some kind of a monster . As a result I was bullied throughout my entire school life which has had some serious impact on my personality , I am terrified of being around people to the point where I can completely shut down if there are too many people around . I have been classified as permanently disabled and I now live on disability money for the rest of my life , which is so little money that I can ' t even afford to rent a place of my own , let alone buy , that doesn ' t have me sharing the place with other people anyway , which as you might imagine is impossible for me . So to sum it up , the incident itself , painful , not very long lasting , but the events that followed are still haunting me to this day .