I just found thisMaybe this can be like an introduction or something <| sep |> You don ' t understand . Everybody in Grand Rapids knows that she does absolutely nothing for the schools here . She bought her position , no doubt about it . <| sep |> Yoga , swim , badminton , run , climb , those are my choices . Just do anything active . You ' ll get some people blast your ass for overtraining , but considering you are likely in a sedentary job sitting in an office or lectures all day , it will be extremely beneficial . Unless you are something like a fireman or farmer <| sep |> It sounds like you have several supportive people who would be there . I think it ' s important to keep distance from abusive people , but not at the expense of seeing people you actually want to see . I still visit my family once or twice a month because I have younger siblings who are starting to understand what my parents are and I know they need my support , even though I know my mother will put me down every chance she gets and will be incredibly dismissive if I dare to express an opinion or an accomplishment . That said , I think you should go to the party and make sure to keep you and your son surrounded by the people who have said they will protect you . I don ' t know if your mother is the type who cares about making a scene in public , but I bet having enough people around you would be enough to make her behave at least a little bit . Plus , that way , you can be in conversation with someone like your sisterinlaw and if your mother tries to interrupt , either you or SIL can firmly tell her , We ' re in the middle of a conversation right now , please don ' t interrupt . I stood up to my mother once recently and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life , even though it scared the shit out of me . If going to the party is just not an option , maybe see if you can arrange to see the family members you do want to see in smaller groups over the course of a few weeks . Have stepgrandma over for dinner one night , go Christmas shopping with grandmother , etc . You won ' t have the large , festive event , but you ' ll at least hopefully get to see the people who matter and avoid your mother entirely . Whatever you end up doing , I hope your holidays go well and are as stressfree as possible !