I realize this is 5 hrs late and this may not have the biggest impact , but I ' m going to leave a reply that was made on one of my comments made when I lost my mother in early October . It ' s really damn hard right , but it gets easier . Reach out to those around you if you need help . If you don ' t have anyone to talk to , or if you want to talk to someone who doesn ' t know you and probably never will about it , please send me a message . I ' d like to do anything I can to help . Anyway , here goes . I ' m sorry . You will always remember her . Seek counseling and surround yourself with family . For now I guess it ' s too soon to fully understand this , but it might be useful along the way . This is from uGSnow and something I will always have on hand . Alright , here goes . I ' m old . What that means is that I ' ve survived so far and a lot of people I ' ve known and loved did not . I ' ve lost friends , best friends , acquaintances , coworkers , grandparents , mom , relatives , teachers , mentors , students , neighbors , and a host of other folks . I have no children , and I can ' t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child . But here ' s my two cents . I wish I could say you get used to people dying . I never did . I don ' t want to . It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies , no matter the circumstances . But I don ' t want it to not matter . I don ' t want it to be something that just passes . My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person . And if the scar is deep , so was the love . So be it . Scars are a testament to life . Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut , or even gouged , and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love . And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was . Scars are a testament to life . Scars are only ugly to people who can ' t see . As for grief , you ' ll find it comes in waves . When the ship is first wrecked , you ' re drowning , with wreckage all around you . Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was , and is no more . And all you can do is float . You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while . Maybe it ' s some physical thing . Maybe it ' s a happy memory or a photograph . Maybe it ' s a person who is also floating . For a while , all you can do is float . Stay alive . In the beginning , the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy . They come 10 seconds apart and don ' t even give you time to catch your breath . All you can do is hang on and float . After a while , maybe weeks , maybe months , you ' ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall , but they come further apart . When they come , they still crash all over you and wipe you out . But in between , you can breathe , you can function . You never know what ' s going to trigger the grief . It might be a song , a picture , a street intersection , the smell of a cup of coffee . It can be just about anything . and the wave comes crashing . But in between waves , there is life . Somewhere down the line , and it ' s different for everybody , you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall . Or 50 feet tall . And while they still come , they come further apart . You can see them coming . An anniversary , a birthday , or Christmas , or landing at O ' Hare . You can see it coming , for the most part , and prepare yourself . And when it washes over you , you know that somehow you will , again , come out the other side . Soaking wet , sputtering , still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage , but you ' ll come out . Take it from an old guy . The waves never stop coming , and somehow you don ' t really want them to . But you learn that you ' ll survive them . And other waves will come . And you ' ll survive them too . If you ' re lucky , you ' ll have lots of scars from lots of loves . And lots of shipwrecks . My condolences .