I can understand that interpretation . Speaking for myself at least , if I ' m in a relationship with someone their happiness is important to me . I ' m willing to make reasonable adjustments and give up some things for someone I care about . The issue is the insidiousness of time , and the cognitive dissonance that starts to arise . Imagine you really love something a lot , and it ' s one of those things that brings you a lot of joy in life . However , your partner sees no value in this activity . You do your best to balance this with spending time with your partner , but it ' s always delicate . Anxiety begins to creep into the equation , it becomes a lot harder to enjoy the thing you ' ve always loved because the mere act of doing so becomes a vector for friction in your relationship . Your partner gradually begins expressing displeasure and resentment every single time you decide to engage in that activity , even after doing your best to communicate something like I need some time to myself every day to do something for me , and then we can do together things . . it gets complicated and messy , fast . I ' ve been with a lot of people who were intelligent , willful , but had no hobbies of their own and saw mine as fundamentally lacking any value . I loved them all and did my best to respect them , but in the end , neither of us could be happy together . I had to accept who I am , what I love , and what I need from a partner and what I ' m capable of giving them . I ' m not capable of giving up my favorite shit , so life becomes a whole lot easier if my partner can share it with me instead .