Yeah , I always thought Chad Ochocinco nee Johnson was just a funloving kinda guy , not an emotionally stunted lunatic . <| sep |> Self reported ace men are fewer in number than women . But yes , we do exist . Hello ! In fact I ' m an aromantic asexual , which is even rarer . And , at least in theory , seems as if it would be easier . I have no desire to couple , ever , so I ' ve never dated . Which means my advice is going to be theoretical . The fact that you do have sexual desire , even if it is only after a significant courtship period , means you are more likely to slot into a sexual world than would I . So , consequently , you have two basic choices . One . Sexual desire , drive , or attraction is not required for sexual function . You seem to ascribe some importance to having sex , so . have it . Become erect and have sex . It ' s mechanical , and unless you have some sort of erectile dysfunction , it ' s entirely within the realm of possibility for you to perform . Or , two . Remain true to yourself , save yourself for the right person , and actively seek them out . You said you do have sexual desires , however infrequent , yet have never dated . this makes no sense to me . Think of dating as a job interview for a sexual partner , which makes it a required step in the journey . As for the bit about being afraid of disappointing the other person . why ? It ' s a relationship , or should be . There is a difference between coupling and fuckbuddies . You seem to think that all women ? are simply whores who , on first sight , expect you to unbuckle your pants . Some are , yes . But no . not all . Libido exists independent of drive . some people are just horny all the time , and others have little drive . Not everyone expects to hop into bed five minutes after meeting you . It is considered quaint , these days , but considering courting your partner . Take your time , let your own desire build too . I ' ve read that communication is key , so let them know what ' s going on . I like you , I want to eventually have a sexual relationship , but we need to take it slow . I wouldn ' t go into it wearing an Asexuality pride tee shirt , but don ' t hide it either . Be open . Be honest . It ' s a job interview . for them , as well as you . And open yourself up to the possibility ! You said you desire it . so make it happen . The alternative is to deny yourself something you said , clearly , that you want . and that ' s not healthy . So get out there and ask someone out for coffee .