독립 형 첨삭 부탁 드립니다 . ( 비밀 번호 : 0000 ) 라이팅 게시판 : : 고우 해 커스 
 독립 형 첨삭 부탁 드립니다 . ( 비밀 번호 : 0000 ) 
 멋쟁이 토마토 | 조회 47 | 추천 0 
 ▶ Topic : The important of extended family is becoming less important . AG / DIS 
 Nowadays , there are many types of family from just one to the extended big family . But the percentage of the extended family degrees compared to the past . In this regard , some people say it is no use of the number of family . Others are still arguing big family is important . In my opinion , extended family is becoming more important than ever due to feel lonely and the several good things of the big family . 
 To begin with , non - extended family has disadvantage that the members of family easily feel alone . Usally both parents are working out , and kids left alone in house when he return home . Moreover , their grandparents are live by theirselves because their kids do not want to live with them when they become adults . As a result , kids and grandparents are able to feel lonely easier . 
 To give an anecdote , I worked at kidergarden last summer . Soo always played alone . However , another kid named lina lived with her grandparents . She had her friends to play a role acting wirh her , but Soo did not . so Soo seemed always feel lonely , and sometimes She cried when It was time to go home . Furthermore , Soo was jealous lina owing to her happiness and not alone . 
 On the top of that , extended family has many good things so its importance is needed seriously . To live with not only your parents but also grandparents , uncle , cousins . . etc , you can learn anything form living together . Due to today ' s people are becoming more hyper competetive , and only thinking about himself , good things from livinfg with extended faimly are getting more and more meanings . So its importance is higher than ever . 
 For instance , when I was little kid , my parents were sometimes really busy , and did not having a time with me . Hence they bought me anything I want , I became bad kid . However , mt parents felt something wrong , then we lived with grandparents , uncle and their cousins . At that itme I could learn about being polite , devotion . Had it not been for the big family , It would not have been possible . 
 In this regard , I thought it is becoming more important about importance of extended family . First , It is a good way to solve feeling lonely . Second , one can listen to others and feel the warm heart and learn many thing . 
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