Its also her anticipation of being needed again . I guess what I ' m trying to say , and please don ' t take this as an insult on your mother , but if none of her children need her anymore and her entire identity most of her life has been as mum , then the prospect of being around a small child again will overcome any other considerations or respect for the actual parents of the child . You need to be careful , because she will start treating your baby as her own , especially if she is living with you , and that always , always ends badly . Because when you have to set down boundaries and you will at some point it will be like you are taking her child away from her . Putting down those boundaries now will be better off in the long run for all involved . It doesn ' t need to be a confrontation , but when you talk to your mum it has to be you and DH , together , being calm . You just need her to understand things from your point of view . But every time you exclude her from your pregnancy all she hears is you ' re not needed . She is going to be needed , so much , once the baby comes , but if you set boundaries now you won ' t have heartache later . She ' ll be needed for advice , support , babysitting etc , but if you do not let her know where the line is then she will step over it a lot . She needs to know that she is grandma , not mum . And that ' s a hard notion to get across unless you talk to her . Make a list of bullet points of what you want to say , and don ' t sugar coat things because you think it will make it easier to say if you do it will only confuse the situation more . Be honest , open , don ' t let your temper get to you remain calm , and talk with your mother . And do it now before things become much more complicated .