The kraken lives <| sep |> Just because you excel at soccer doesn ' t mean you ' re ready for fencing . Or dance . Or baseball . Exactly ! It might be confusing because a lot of stuff does translate to other sportive activities . If you are a great soccer player , you are fit in the cardio department and this will help you when you play basketball . But having a nice riposte doesn ' t mean that your judo throws are great . This is what I think is missed in a lot of discussions . Learning to map out and measure a curiosityattraction you ' ve sparked , before amplifying it together , is a completely different style of communication . Exactly . vv So naive . So , it ' s not just the lack of experience . Some of it is instinct . Very good point . Call it instinct or talent . Something you are born with . Even if you have average instinct you have better chances of having some success with dating . If you have zero instincts you are less likely to . And we have the vicious cycle again . I think you were onto something with the lack of experience lack of connectionsrole models , though . When I started seriously flirting , there was someone who explained what was happening . And she was my mentor , through it all . I wasn ' t thinking of role models . But sure , having a mentor is a great thing . Perhaps even necessary for many . And again not having a mentor for whatever reason doesn ' t mean that you suck . I wouldn ' t even be able to have this conversation now . Who knows what I ' d be projecting ? Exactly . I was inspired to make this post because of your if men were projecting less as you have probably guessed already . You could come up with thousands of evil reasons why men are projecting . In your case , the reason that you are not projecting as much boils down to one experience having a mentor . So me of it was luck meeting her and some of it was because of your merits she wanted to be around you and be your mentor . And this is what I want to point out with all the discussions about looks and social skillsIt ' s a mixture of luck instincts , meeting the right person , born good enough looks and a good personality . I find it wrong that many people talk about it as if having a good personality was the biggest indicator of how things turn out in your life . But at the same time , how you handle finding out that you ' re projecting , is the mark of your character . Some use criticism to grow . Some lash out at the messenger . I agree . But I want to emphasise that most of the advice people give is useless anyway and I can totally understand why guys eventually dismiss advice . Learning to differentoate between good and bad advice is another thing where you eother succeed or not . And even here , having luck plays an important role .