Cat ownership , diet cola , flavored water , flossing , Cspan , JellO with booze in it , JellO without booze in it , haikus , Pixar movies , music ringtones , straws that bend , salad dressing on the side , improv comedy , The Sims , coffee table books , Mrs . Dash , voting in nonpresidential elections , sandals , Glee , nature shows about anything but bears or sharks , all dancing , motorcycle gangs with matching outfits , collecting old movie posters , all Muppets except for Gonzo Fozzy and those two old guys in the balcony , Drew Barrymore movies where she doesn ' t get naked , Europe , the TV show Friends , pasta , Ritz crackers , biscotti , retweeting , the Ramones , drawing stuff with punctuation , waving at yourself on the jumbotron , petitions , microbrews , renfest , karaoke , creative facial hair , driving gloves , card tricks , memorizing poetry , calling Atlanta Hotlanta , theater in the park , theater not in the park , barbershop quartets , the San Diego Padres , celery , adult contemporary music , post 50 ' s jazz , any white guy jazz , centerpieces , dips other than nacho cheese or French onion , trying on clothes before you buy them , scrap booking , calligraphy , origami , suduko , yogurt , smoothies , cupcakes with sprinkles , funny ties , fist bumps , umbrellas , mittens , scarves , winter caps with a fuzzy ball on top , any flamb food , writing letters to the editor , complaining about your hard earned tax dollars , fabric softener , coffee mate , recycling , becoming vegan , calling the word fuck a fbomb , dogcat shows , lawn darts , bean bag toss , Japanese cartoons , high fives , singing Happy Birthday , smiling for the camera when you wouldn ' t be smiling otherwise , caroling , mystery novels , celebrity gossip , PTA , PETA , neighborhood watch groups , song parodies , riding bikes if you ' re over 16 and didn ' t have your license revoked , fancy coffee , wine tasting , nature hikes , beat literature , beauty contests that don ' t have a wet tshirt category , adults without kids going to theme parks , RPG ' s , Bollywood , Dollywood , wearing green on St Patrick ' s day , flash mobs , anything kitschy , liking really bad movies because they ' re really bad , Farmville , YouTube videos of cats or babies , friend requests , bridge , hearts , keno , pictures of cats saying stuff , aloe , making a big deal out of sunsets , ferns , retro anything , hair gel , collecting state quarters , hamsters , hair conditioner , hand sanitizer , chap stick , 80 ' sTV references , energy efficient light bulbs , turtleneck sweaters , ham radio , pirate radio , coupons , intentionally getting a tan , air quotes , family guy tshirts , puns , limericks , vespa scooters , power walking , novelty foam fingers , egreeting cards , greeting cards that play music , all other greeting cards , USB flash drives that are made to look like something else , digital picture frames , after shave , fancy phones , saving movie ticket stubs , popcorn flavored with anything but butter and salt , grilled vegetables , personality quizzes , alpacas , pronouncing the first N in the words environment an government , ventriloquists , cloth napkins , Austin Powers imitations , medical checkups , being an organ donor , knowing your credit score , riddles , fuzzy dice , artificial new car smell , mad libs , gift bags , making a big deal about Calvin and Hobbes , koi fish , Darwin fish , Christian fish , Phish , cammo worn outside of the woods , grocery store frequent shopper cards , saying whom shall thrice and shan ' t , video slots so complicated that you have no idea if you ' re winning or not , wind chimes , saving little jellies and soy sauce packets , complaining about illegal mp 3 downloads , vneck tshirts , novels based on movies , padded toilet seats , ax body spray , bonsai , St . John ' s Wort , having your picture takes with a dead fish , bird feeders made to look like a 50 ' s diner , mediation , swimming nose plugs , calling comic books graphic novels , muffins , butter and egg substitutes , brunch , putting fruit into your cereal or oatmeal , nonorange sherbet , calling kids rug rats , calling shit a ' deuce , personal portable battery operated fans , calling the toilets the Little Girls or Boy ' s room , calling typing in all caps shouting , making a big deal about leaves changing color , personalized license plates , tiny ears of corn , tiny marshmallows , calling movies flicks , calling jobs gigs , adopting highways , subscribing to PBS , becoming a friend of the library , unusual mailboxes , bed and breakfasts , fancy pillows , owning more than two pillows per bed , checks with cartoon characters on them , knowing all the constellations , saying that dogs crapping are doing their business , parade floats , the rest of the parade , being able to name the moons on other planets , community gardens , knowing pi beyond 4 spaces , spider solitaire , green tea , candlelight vigils , scented candles , unscented candles , Prairie Home Companion , hydroponics , nativity scenes , adult Halloween costumes , the wave , Martha ' s Vineyard , rechargeable batteries , life coaches , Zen gardens , VH 1 ' s Behind The Music , knowing a lot of palindromes , emotions , aboveground pools , beach balls , leaf blowers , fake accents , real French accents , making a big deal about an eclipse , Branson , tarot cards , cilantro , knowing college fight songs , light beer , complaining about the comic sans font , the word epic , flavored vodka and fan fiction .