The head Gamemaker threw down his pretty hat and struck the President across the face with the plastic bottle of bubbly water . His bloodshot eyes and tearsoaked cheeks sat red on his complexion . You can ' t keep doing this , Mr . President ! You can ' t keep rigging these stupid games to end with meme matches ! The orangehaired man inhaled deeply and raised a finger to the Gamemaker ' s face , The people lov the people . They love what I am doing . I ' m an entertaining man . I ' m an ideas guy . I know what I ' m doing . Trust me . We have a Floridan kid with chainsaws and a barehanded Alaskan wrestler going against each other in the finals . Do you have any idea how imbalanced that is ? the Gamemaker pointed to the television screen as some weird , bearded teenager in a Boy Scout ' s costume held his duel chainsaws akimbo as the flannelwearing Alaskan smashed her hands into bloody mutt heads and began screaming wildly . I think this is great . This is a great thing that ' s happening . No one ' s a bigger fan of this year ' s Hunger Games than I am . And I guarantee that next year ' s will be better than this one . We ' ve sunk so low that there ' s no way to go up , sir . Dammit , the Gamemaker looked down at this weeks ' ratings . For every age group besides young , single males employed or collegeattending , ratings have plummeted like the Titanic . The common complaint was that Florida ' s male tribute was getting ridiculous favoritism in this year ' s games and that the Alaskan one has not yet killed a single person in the game . The rest of the Gamemaker ' s back at the planning site had already given up on the outcome and prepared to announce an Alaskan victory after Florida dies by slicing himself with his own chainsaws . Bottles of champagne had been broken out and a Thanksgiving turkey was already ordered , stuffed with the traditional chickenduckbeef triad stuffing . I went to film school for four years to do this garbage , the Gamemaker cried into Mr . President ' s huge suit . Listen . The American people will not accept the results of this year ' s game . They won ' t . I ' ve talked to them . That ' s why we need to decide for them . That ' s why Alaska needs to win this . It sends a good message for America . No , it doesn ' t ! It just encourages kids to run into chainsawwielding maniacs because they think they can live . It ' s like a few years ago when that stupid girl started using bows and arrows in the arena and we had twohundred percent increases in archery supplies by young kids ! ' Let me be honest with you , Jedidah . I ' ve got a small amount of money running on this game . I have my own biases , but I ' m not letting them influence this run . Gamemaker Jedidiah vaguely recalled about three dollars and fifty cents being bid on Alaska ' s second tribute before the games had started . He shook the thought from his head , pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket , and began penning his resignation letter . Five days later , the games were still ongoing . Jedidah was resting at home with his five cats and watching the disaster go on on television . Predictably , the Floridan did end up slashing himself on his own chainsaws . Unpredictably , he lived . Mr . President had taken control of the games himself and began implementing his plans upon the game . The first of which was giving Florida a solid gold chainsaw and the Alaskan a Remington Model 700 . When Jedidah saw both of them pull out scripts and begin reading off of them set to modern poppy music with a subLatin flair , he threw a kitten at the television and watched it go hogwild trying to disassemble it .