One of my brothers friends told everyone I gave him a blowjob at a party , married man too . I barely even talked to him that night because my crush was there . <| sep |> yeah you never take your eyes off of it . in many places , they wear masks on the back of their heads so tigers dont attack them . surprisingly in africa , they aren ' t afraid of lions . they say they ' re just big cats . making noise was good . firing the pistol in the air would have made it take off for sure <| sep |> Been there . It totally sucks , and I did feel paralyzed too . Luckily I managed to move away and that helped a lot . Maybe you don ' t need to move away , but you should change your enviroment like stop using facebook so it doesn ' t bring back old habits . Back then this was around 1619 I didn ' t really know what I wanted in life at all , and that confused the fuck out of me , but I realized I did know what I didn ' t want . And I really didn ' t want to go through all that shit again , so I used it as fuel . What brought me there ? What kept me there ? Change all that for me it was myself and my own attitude in life , improve yourself . It may sound like I ' m saying it ' s easy or fast or whatever . The exact opposite , it ' s hard , it ' s slow , you will take steps backwards . But at the end of the day , when alone in the dark laying in bed , I did feel happy I was trying to improve , however slowly , I did appreciate the chance I got to see my flaws and errors and change . How many people live their lives like that until they are 40 ? 50 ? I guess I ' m rambling now but what I mean is sorry to sound cliche it ' s up to you . You can stand still and overthink something you can ' t change your past , or use it as a tool , fuel or whatever to grow . You are so much more than your past actions . The biggest lesson I learned after all is Take charge of your life and build it into something you enjoy for you , no one will do it for you . And don ' t let circumstances dictate your life , I spent so much time complaining about my circumstances for nothing !