Happy Thanksgiving ! I ' m thankful for you all who stayed up last night and posted . I ' m getting caught up and I think this is what happened , please correct meShelby went out telling the hypocridiots she ' s a lwayerShelby told Jason to keep the Krackels since she had plenty of candy from the HOH baskets she wonMorgan told that Alex is her sister and mentioned that she told Krassie a week ago in an attempt to get Krassie to stick to the dealJason won HOH and is probably going to take 10 K Cresty with himJason needed a new person to drag so now he ' s attacking JustinSomeone set up a fake twitter account posing as Shelby , but Alex has posted here that Shelby doesn ' t know her exam results yet <| sep |> I don ' t know how relevant this is and I ' m definitely not saying this applies to you ! But I ' ve been looking into secure vs . insecure attachment s t y l e s y o u r a t t a c h m e n t s t y leimpactsyourrelationship , and some of what you say reminds me of the one called Dismissive Avoidant that ' s described on that page I just linked . So I guess if you read through that and feel like it might resonate , that might inform what you want to do going forward . But if you don ' t feel it fits you at all , cool beans . Either way , there is no pressure to change or try to be better or whatever . As long as you are clear and open and not intentionally being hurtful , is doing what I want ethical , even if i would want it different if I was on their side of the partnership ? I think regardless of your personality type and whether or not you want to change it , there ' s gonna be people out there who suit your relationship styles and needs . And there are going to be people who are actively looking for someone who does things the way you do them . And I think it ' s totally okay to want to be a particular way but to wantneed your partner to be a different way too there are plenty of people who ' re poly and have monogamous partners and vice versa , and they make it work . I have a friend who ' s monogamous but doesn ' t mind her girlfriend being poly , and it ' s just because she ' s very chill like that , which I think is unusual ! I ' m an empathetic person believe it or not and envision myself as one who respects my partners ' feelings and adjusts when I can , but honestly if one of them said ' I don ' t want you to see anyone else for a few months ' or ' I ' m feeling insecure and I want from you ' it feels like work I don ' t think I ' d want to do . From a prospective partner point of view I would probably not want to be in a relationship with someone who felt like adjusting to my needs and boundaries was too high maintenance . I definitely don ' t think I ' m alone in that , I think it ' s reasonable for people to expect someone to be willing to put in work to make things work , and I think that if someone can ' t or doesn ' t want to that means they probably shouldn ' t be considering themselves open to a capitalR Relationship . But like you say , if you ' re clear and honest and open and you say upfront this is not a serious relationship , and if there is any sign of me needing to do even a tiny bit of work to meet your needs I will walk then you ' ve technically done your bit . Even so , you ' re probably going to hurt people . If you are empathetic , as you say you are , perhaps knowing in advance that you are probably going to hurt people will help you decide how to approach relationships .