Hold on a minute . Where the death threat come from ? Okay mom is older . She has an disorder that for most is treatable with therapy and or medications . She told you herself she ' s not in any pain and her husband the doctor is on the case of figuring out what ' s going on . Then you say that this is the tipping point . that ' s going to make you bite the big one . Come on man it never gets that bad and if it does you can call the suicide helplines They are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week . I would suggest instead ending it all . its time to make some changes . Chat it up with a therapist or start being around people , get a dog or a cat . Holiday ' s are stressful and depressing but you have to find the things that bring you joy . For me , its movies , the anticipation of next few Star trek movies , All the ones I missed . Start searching for your anchor ! Stick around , you would be missed if you don ' t !