Maybe it ' s just your north London buses that are scary . I usually get the night bus home from central to southwest , and it ' s boring and not scary at all . Even on the ones which go through Lambeth or Brixton aren ' t that bad . <| sep |> Some people like to challengetorture themselves . The same reason speedrunners exist <| sep |> I ' m not , but my mum loves programmes like Bargain Hunt and she records them on the Sky box and watches them when we ' re having our tea <| sep |> Boil ' em , mash ' em , stick ' em in a stew . <| sep |> I see a lot of things here in common with my own life . Broken home , abusive father and bipolar mother . Started lexapro at 15 , have also been prescribed mirtazapine heavy shit and lithium since . As of now I ' m medication free for over 6 months . Tried very hard in school despite the anxiety and depression , didn ' t let it beat me . Top of my class in math and physics , full scholarship to a top technical university studying computer engineeringI ' m 20 now and I finally feel ok with my life . Still lonely as hell and don ' t have any friends , but I ' m getting there . I will get there . Every morning I would read this poem and it would get me through the day . I still recite it in my head multiple times a day . Out of the night that covers me , Black as the pit from pole to pole , I thank whatever gods may beFor my unconquerable soul . In the fell clutch of circumstanceI have not winced nor cried aloud . Under the bludgeoning of chanceMy head is bloody , but unbowed . Beyond this place of wrath and tearsLooms but the Horror of the shade , And yet the menace of the yearsFinds , and shall find me , unafraid . It matters not how strait the gate , How charged with punishments the scroll , I am the master of my fateI am the captain of my soul .