Seriously , this is bullshit . What next ? A Steelers fan asking what ' s a championship ? ?<| sep |> I don ' t think it was lying , I think it was just how she perceived it . When you remember a memory , it ' s not like you ' re looking at yourself you ' re looking at your surroundings . She wouldn ' t remember herself as old or young . She was looking at her daughter , it ' s not like there was a scene where she was looking at herself in the mirror and examining herself . I like your way of explaining it . This is exactly what I was trying to say , but you said it better . <| sep |> And you ' re entitled to feel however you need to feel for as long as you need to as many times as you need to . You get to process your distress and your emotions in whatever way works for you . That said telling a partner what they arearen ' t allowed to fantasize about has pretty much never grown my relationship with anyone . More often it grows resentment , distance , and a whole category of desires that are now locked secret . I totally understand and empathize with your distress . It ' s completely relatable . But if it bothers you to know what your partner fantasizes about when they masturbate , that distress is yours and not theirs .