Yeah , I think I go through what you mean . You start improving your body , but even though you ' re getting more muscular , you keep finding flaws and really stupid ones too , like my hamstrings aren ' t in perfect proportion with my quads and my lats are bigger now , but they ' re shaped weirdly . The idea of perfection seems so amazing . Imagine being perfect in every way . Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror and not finding any flaws not finding anything you can improve . Every muscle is in perfect proportion , every hair is just right and the bone structure is as if Michelangelo carved it himself . The goal is impossible and romanticizing it is destructive . It ' s selfsabotage . But the idea of perfection is so ingrained in you that it ' s hard to break out of that fantasy even with intervention . I ' m sorry I don ' t have any advice , but there ' s no way you can win when you chase the impossible .