Um , fucking puppy mills . There are lots of cases of animal cruelty . The Amish still have their share of assholes . <| sep |> Okay , I ' ll start with a few of the things I liked about the article . I liked how in depth the description of the game was . Most of the major events were discussed and described in detail . Most articles will focus on the big highlights but don ' t really cover the game in as much detail . This helped to paint a picture of the game . Now , from the style of writing I was able to guess you were either students or fairly new to writing . There was an over use of simple sentences which made the article seem a little clunky . Example Sheary and Sid nearly tied the game very early in the second period . Henrik Lundqvist would shut the door on the quick two on one . The way this is worded just doesn ' t seem to flow . IMO it would have flowed better written like Early in the second Lundqvist held the lead by shutting down an odd man break lead by Crosby and Sheary , or Lundqvist stonewalled a 2 on 1 by Sheary and Crosby early in the 2 nd . There was also an over use of certain phrases . For instance the phrase shut the door was used within two sentences of each other . Now this next issue might just be my personal preference , but the word would was used in a lot of places where there were better was to articulate . It made the sentences appear clunky to me . Example Three minutes later Sidney Crosby would deflect an Ian Cole point shot under Lundqvist . Phil Kessel would create the play by skating from . Personally I think these sentences , and a few others like them , could have been worded better . Like Three minutes later Crosby deflected an Ian Cole point shot passed Lundavist , and Phil Kessel created the play by skating from . Anyways , these are just a few ways in which I think the articles could be improved . I think I would read more articles in the future though .