Yes , I do think it ' s a little inensitive but hear me out I want you to try empathize and not sympathize . Cause those are 2 completely different things . Seek to understand then to be understood . Imagine if you were in the shoes of the grandparents or parents of your boyfriend and you know you have a limited time to be with them , wouldn ' t it be nice to be just with your family ? Close together , one more time , just like old times like when they used to be young . Do you want your family to be incomplete because your grandkid is ' busy ' being with his SO ? If you ' re thinking of spending the rest of your life with your boyfriend , I think you can sacrifice a few holidays together until his grandparents pass away . You have literally they rest of your life to celebrate these things . Maybe they haven ' t thought about inviting you because they ' re thinking you have your own family to be with right ? I feel there ' s much more to it than your story , but Idk . Why not try to make up for the holidays by planning a thing together . I feel you don ' t want to initiate it so try to joke or hint about it . Or you know what , just straight up tell him that after his thing with his family . you guys should totally do something together . Be all cute and say that you guys should do a 2 man winter wonderland party or something like it . It doesn ' t have to be expensive . Make a cute fort with Xmas lightsNetflix and chill , go bake a cake and eat it afterwards , go out and ice skate and wear cute outfits and take Polaroid shots , go on a night drive and have coffee in some third wave coffee shop . There ' s a million and 1 choices you can make . Don ' t be limited to just the holidays . Make it your annual holiday fun activity ! In this case , it looks like he really wants to respect the wishes of his mother and grandparents . Respect his decision . It ' s okay to be sad about not spending the holidays together but you have to understand that you aren ' t his whole life . A huge part of it , maybe , but not his entire life . Sometimes you have to make sacrifices but its always up to you on what you make of it .