I don ' t think this post belongs in this sub but I hope you and kvik get help try rrelationshipadvice ? <| sep |> And cheating is what world contenders do ? <| sep |> You aren ' t the super fucked up one , they are . I ' m sorry all those things happened to you . I ' ve felt in the past that I have a neon sign over my head and pointed at me and said assault me . Although that isn ' t true , it certainly felt true at times . <| sep |> You may be standing too narrow . The squat is performed by bending knees and hips at the same time which ought to resemble sitting down in a chair . Some people find the degree of hip flexion needed more natural with a wider stance or toes pointed sightly out or both . Another possibility is that your knees aren ' t tracking your toes . That means when you bend your knees your toes out pointing in a different direction . This will also cause you to cave in .