I ' m 32 and today is Thanksgiving . People ask me Brian , what are you thankful for ? That has been such a hard question to answer . See , my best friend and wife left me back in June . I used to have a big family before I met my wife . My mother passed away when I was 13 and my grandfather raised me . My father was never there for me and when my grandpa passed away my family blamed me for his death and never has spoke to me since . My wife left me this year and not only did I lose someone I loved so much . I also lost a ton of family that I loved as well . I miss it . I miss everything . I still miss my wife and my family . I finally understand the mistakes I made . I don ' t know if my wife will ever read this but I love you . Having you was the best thing that ever happened to me . You were my best friend , my lover , my heart and soul was all yours . I probably will never experience the level of joy I had with you and your family ever again with anyone else . I know that I never gave you the attention you needed . I never gave you the time to teach me anything . I was lazy . I was stubborn . I know all of these things now . I wish you were here so I could tell you all of these things . Your laugh is adorable and your smile is contagious . If I could have one wish . It would be to have it all again and this time never make the same mistakes that I made . Am I doing okay today ? Well , I ' m alive , but I feel like I ' ve lost my smile . The one I had for the last 5 years . Here I am today sending Thanksgiving with a friend and his family , but it just isn ' t the same and honestly I have never felt so alone in my whole life .