I ' d probably sit in a swimming pool of Margarita mix and tequila and just relax to the max . <| sep |> This ' ll be our fifth Christmas together . Our families live less than an hour from each other but about three hours from where we ' ve lived for about 2 years . We ' ve been going to each other ' s families for the last three or four . I was invited to his the first year we were dating but we ' d only been together for 5 months at that point so I ~~ screamed that was going too fast ~~ graciously declined . We ' ve done both Christmases in one day for I think every Christmas we ' ve had together . We did three in one day , technically , one year , because we then went and spent time with my stepgrandfather . I am big on Christmas it ' s my favourite holiday and I go all out if at all possible . But this year I ' m getting the week before Christmas off , so I ' m spending time with each part of the family I want to Mum , uncles x 2 , stepgrandfather in advance . My anxiety has been worse lately and it has exhausted me each year spending time with both families . I think this year I would be having a panic attack if we tried it . It ' s still hard . My mum last year actually took off for Christmas because she does not like it and it hurt me a lot to think that she was avoiding it . But this way I ' ll get to see my cousin on her birthday , spend time with my fiance and dog , and also not feel like I have to be on for what feels like a 24 hour straight period . I know what you mean about not feeling like as much a part of the family though . I don ' t have any siblings and I ' m much older than my cousins , and I ' ve barely seen them this year . We have a dog now and he ' s a rescue with pretty high needs , so we don ' t feel comfortable leaving him with a sitter or anything . I think it ' s worth having a discussion not only with your fiance but also with your family about how you can make it work . Yeah , getting time off sucks , but what about them coming to you once in a while ? What about you going back for longer but him doing yes , the long flight , but sometimes ! for just two or three days with the family ? If you think about it , you could do each of those once every four years , and the other 24 with his family . Also , it ' s possible to do trips that aren ' t at Christmas for him to be able to see his niecenephew !