A fucking Daddy Long Legs ! ? Please , Sam . Lower your voice . You ' ll anger the Elders . No . Fuck you , Carl . You ' re only OK with all this because you got a Lion . The scripture says all creatures on this planet pose a purpose even if we humans are yet to understand it . Fine . Swap me . No . Fucking knew it you Lion piece of shit . A booming voice erupted , SILENCE YOU TWO ! You are standing within the Totem Temple and decorum will be adhered . I ' ll lower my voice when you scabby ass old ass fucks give me a new totem creature . Sam , you cannot speak to an Elder like that . Fuck him , Carl . How can they justify giving you a Lion and me some fly on stilts ? The Elder ' s dank mage wizard ass cloak swept across the ground as he advanced towards Sam . Let me tell you something , child . The Daddy Long Legs is a fine gift . An image of a Daddy Long Legs appeared holographically . Look at these cool ass legs . Look how long they are . Do you see how long they are ? Perfect for doing stuff in which you require long legs . Like what ? Like getting a bottle of Cherry Coke from the top shelf of the fridge . I ' m a 6 ft human . Why would I need to become my totem creature to get a bottle of Cherry Coke from the top shelf of the fridge ? You make it sound like you do not want a refreshing glass of Cherry Coke . The other Elders mumbled in disgust . Of course I want the Cherry Coke . Don ' t insinuate that I don ' t want the Cherry Coke . I just don ' t understand how it justifies being a Daddy Long Legs . Life is full of mysteries , child . Life is full of bullshit . Carl can become a Lion . A fully grown Lion . Is being a Lion really that great ? Or is being a weird spider looking fly thing not the coolest shit going ever ? What ? No . No it is not the coolest shit going ever . With great responsibility comes being a Daddy Long Legs , Sam . You ' re not even making any sense . I got that line from Spiderman . The Toby McGuire edition . We , The Elders , believe Toby Maguire got a raw deal . The Elders nodded in agreement . That line was never used in regards to being a Daddy Long Legs . Are you sure , child ? I am one hundred percent sure . And what about Toby Maguire getting a raw deal ? Also sure about that , actually . Then maybe it was in one of the other Spiderman movies . Your version of that line is not in any of the Spiderman movies . It ' s not in any movie . Carl spoke up , I ' m not sure if anyone has noticed but during this conversation I turned in to a Lion . I ' m a Lion now . This is what I ' m talking about . How is this fair ? I write shitty , silly stories on rBillMurrayMovies . Feel free to come along , not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement .